To The Games!
Packers/Bears:
My kingdom for a competent qb! GB’s secondary is quite generous and now Kevin King is down and out. You’d think that A-Rob will finally feast but he’s wonky because the Bears passing game has produced all of 566 yards in five weeks. Davante has no such issues-he has 42 more targets than the next wr. What can you say, the guy gets open.
Bengals/Lions
With the exception of that 24-10 whooping that they gave the Steelers, all of Cincy’s games have been decided by 3 points. Winning close games is good for a young team that is finding their way. Now if Zac Taylor decision-making improves…
Texans/Colts:
Did Davis Mills’ heart (and ability) grow three sizes last week? The Pats forced him to throw downfield which was not a strength of his and he responded with a 7-10, 211 yards, 3 TDs line. Is this the start of something?
Rams/Giants:
Say a prayer for the retreads and never-were’s that constitute NY’s interior o-line because The Donald is coming to town. PFF ranks that part of the line as 27th in pass-blocking efficiency. Is Kadarius elusive? Over the last two games he’s created 8 missed tackles and at 190 pounds, he’s not exactly stiff-arming his way to that total.
Chiefs/TEAM:
What’s happening with Washington’s D? The d-line’s numbers in pass rush and run stop rates are top 15 so they’re okay. It’s the coverage that the secondary, particularly safeties Collins and McCain, are not providing that is the problem. Last I heard, McLaurin was playing.
Vikes/Panthers:
McCaffrey is on the shelf (IR) and Darnold did his bit by rushing for 5 TD’s over two games but you had to know that was an outlier. No one will remember their 3-0 start as they try to work their way through the league’s 2nd-hardest remaining schedule.
Chargers/Ravens:
Something called Carson Wentz went for 402 yards vs these formerly formidable birds so Herbert might have himself a day. If you have Mike Williams in fantasy, congrats, you did a good. He’s trending towards playing.
Scott Hanson just called Robert Woods “Bobby Trees” and I am conflicted.
Orgeron out at LSU, but not until after the season? Maybe there’s room for him on the Jaguars staff.
From The Athletic:
“It was just a distraction,” one LSU player said. “In 2019, there was no, ‘What’s Coach O doing postgame or Sunday during the day? Is he laying by the pool with a lady?’ He was planning events other than football.”
It created messes for him, like the time Orgeron pulled up to a woman at a gas station wearing exercise attire. “Hey, you look like you work out,” he said, according to multiple sources. “We could work out together.” The woman informed Orgeron she was married and pregnant, to which he responded, “Why does that matter?”
Coach O to coach Club Med next season or ASU all the same
The media after fluffing Orgeron for 2 years about his quirkiness and coaching acumen: “How could this have happened, how did he get so arrogant?”
Pretty please, let these Clippers stay Shitty.
I like how State Farm is like, “don’t worry about our history of denying claims and bribing judges to rule in favor of us on tens of millions dollars in Katrina victim monies. We got a nice black guy to promise you low bills.”
Every non-USAA insurer is beyond evil, yes?
Fuck USAA and their going back to FoxNews after freeing themselves after the insurrection.
I guess that’s the advantage of being State Farm, you’ve never claimed to be ethical so I can’t really get upset when you’re all terrible people.
Washington Claim Adjusters
I declared temporary fanhood for the Chargers and they immediately go down 14-0…is my fanhood that toxic? Am I literal poison?
“Nah. Just argue with reality.”
-Republicans
Do you ever trust a big butt and a smile?
MOAR SPOT CHALLENGES
srsly, I am hard enough to cut glass
THREE SPOT CHALLENGES!!!
::Clawing at the walls of his jail cell and screaming to be released::
-R Kelly
And thus a valuable lesson is learned.
Romo seems to be becoming likable enough that I expect some salacious video of him to drop any minute…
I will not stand for this Romo slander.
Strawberry Fields? Might not be that bright.
THESE CHARGERS DEFENDERS I CALL THEM ASHLII BABBITT BECAUSE THEY GET ABSOLUTELY KILLED WHEN THEY GO INSIDE!
Own goal by Spurs, to pull Stripes to within 1. Such a thoughtful present to celebrate the new ownership.
Not that it made any difference.
This is lookin like some classic Lamar! action
Why are the Bears throwing the ball? Every play should be a run. Dummies
analytics!
Or at least a call to climb up a tree.
We say no to that new fangled forward pass thing
Penalties on trick plays are really obnoxious
Trick play offensive penalties should also be…tricky.
Like, take whatever the last penalty on the field was and multiply is by 2.5 and loss of down as the offense, regardless of the infraction.
And no “half the distance to the goal.” They can take the safety on penalty.
Somebody should let Johnny Hekker at least be their primary backup QB.
Bleergh didn’t like that play
An offsetting “hurting each others feelings” – fuck’s sake.
“failure to sing ‘kumbaya’ after play”
Am liking this Panthers team. Just upgrade the QB and O Line and they’re top quality
They’re very well coached. But OL and QB are pretty big holes to fill (PHRASING).
Why do recipes say salt and pepper to taste? Just tell me the right amount of salt and pepper to put in these mashed potatoes! You don’t tell me figure out the butter amount. Why would you structure every other part of this recipe and then go, “well, salt and pepper is a variable.”
But PLEASE, let me wade through eleven more paragraphs about that time you and your husband went to Tennessee and enjoyed some BBQ place that didn’t have mashed potatoes but, if they did, you think they’d taste something like this recipe you haven’t even completed.
Big Salt has ruled our lives since the dawn of time. Who are you challenge the natural order
Fuck Google.
I get pissed off that every fucking recipe calls for pepper.
PEPPER IS NOT MANDATORY IN EVERY FUCKING MEAL!
I like pepper.
How much belongs in mashed potatoes?
Also fuck every recipe for lying about how long it takes to make.
Caramalizing onions takes longer than 5-10 minutes dammit!
That you! I’ve done it really well like twice and both times were low and slow!
Picks off the receivers hands should be charged to the receiver, not the QB
Signed, disgruntled Mahomes owner
As someone fading Tyreek, I concur.
Drops too.
It should be like a walk to a batter in baseball. Daniel Jones should be 13 for 20 on 32 passes with a dozen drops/picks.
Nice agility in the pocket, Fatty!
normally Tyreek loses control before laying hands on things not after
TWO FIRST QUARTER SPOT CHALLENGES!
-Joel Greenberg, racing into a Matt Gaetz Evangelicals for the GOP Fundraiser
Tyreek volleyball bumping the ball to the Team D
Why did the Giants go for it there? I mean, bless their hearts, but that was fucking stupid.
Give that GM more time. PLEASE
Does anyone here use these sportsbook apps? Is it any different than just the online sites?
Dolts competence‽ this is new.
Washington Network Admins.
Wentz do thing!
To this guy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNV45_C_BUE
Caaaappppptain Dingleberry! AHOY!!
“YES! LET’S GO GET SOME ASS!”
-U Meyer, after ending all his promises from the last two weeks with an under-his-breath, Until we win one game.
Not til he gets back to his restaurant the Heat Attack Grill
Was that at a Heart Attack Grill?!
I think its called Fanny over there
Wrong side of the pants
like Meyer cares
The new NYG super star head case receiver is already hurt. These guys are growing fast.
Say what you will about Eli but he brought the Giants to the top.
Which is the opposite of where they sit now.
Team in the throwback unis this week, at least they will be well-dressed while losing
I’m curious what the feedback from the greater Chicago community was when the Bears switched from that old wolverine helmet style.
Is BAL one of those teams that plays great at home but can’t do anything without a 1-seed?
For reference, this was the Cam Newton Panthers SB team.
ChubaDOWN
wtf bears uniforms
30’s throwbacks.
I like them
The stripy helmets make them look like the bengals
Parents are coming through and staying the night as they snowbird back to AZ. I was gonna whip up some YR’s Chicken & 40 Cloves. I get to the store this morning and the Mrs calls — “Your mom said they went to KFC last night so they want steak.” I’m like, “we made lentil soup last night and have a ton of it. They can have that.” I already have my list in hand for chicken and honestly haven’t cooked quality red meat in months.
So anyways long-story-short, I’m cooking NY Strips for dinner….
Also, I love me some KFC but don’t actually eat there. Who gets to eat at KFC? I want to eat at KFC.
I like Popeye’s chicken better, but I loooove KFC’s coleslaw.
Pork was on sale yesterday, so I had no choice but to buy a pork shoulder and braise it today. Going to try a garlic, ginger, gochujang, and miso thing.
What is the more dangerous position? Giants wide receiver? Or Spinal Tap drummer?
Kicking net or other sideline inanimate object
Baltimore Raven Spouse.
Two DBs, One Kupp!
Morning Folks
Your tardiness has been noted.
“OH AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE ‘TARDS NEXT….”
-J. Gruden
Black Panthers assistant remembers to change Sam Darnold’s bib.
yeah, at the Nursery trying to pickout a new tree.
Redwood. Those are good one.
Gonna lose that spot challenge.
-13 year old boys complaining about why Kathryn got to abruptly leave class in a panic.
“There’s so much ball-handling…”
But enough about Bob Kraft’s latest visit to a local strip mall…
“PUNCH THEM! The only Handling I want to hear about is the Mar-A-Lago members who are responsible for Handling the trafficking of these sex slaves from the best ball-punching regions of China to my local strip mall!”
-R Kraft, After Being Recorded Having His Balls Punched By A Sex Slave
Common sense has no place in NFL rules interpreting!
-PI fundamentalists
I’m going to try out being a Chargers fan today. Based on what I’ve seen so far, I’ll need to develop a field position fetish.
There’s a drumming in the distance
LCSS’s Herbert has an arm man.
Coach Reid has a leg man. Three of them, actually – turkey, chicken, and lamb.
And a thigh man, a rib man.
Needin’ some Thielen in the emotional investment league
Darnold with a first pass pickerception
Hahaha
had him as backup for allen out next week thinking CMC would be back to save him oops
Scott Hanson’s intro is the closest I’ll get to a homily.
This guy could make a procedural vote on C-SPAN seem epic.
The church of Redzone
Red Mass
From one Cincinnati football trap game to another.
And the crowd goes mild. Let’s get this travashamockery over with.
You stole that from my prom date.
1230, 2 beers deep, watching football in the back yard with a full cooler and meat on the grill. Good start to the day.
The day started at 6:30 Pacific time.
DAMN SKIPPY!