How Will the Wolven Sort Set Things On Fire? Evening Open Thread

What did we learn early?  I’ll tell yew wut!

  1. Everton is vile shite.
  2. Steerfuckers North is vile shite (but still won eventually).
  3. JV WKRP did not earn the style points they may need later.
  4. 2121-22 is a challenging season for Bernard Gilkey and the lads.
  5. Oh my, when City show up loaded for bear.  That was a beatdown.
  6. I shit you not, both Illinois and Northern Illinois have head coaches fatter than Andy Reid.
  7. Each morbidly obese coach got a dramatic win.
  8. Hippo’s Four – UGA, tOSU, JV WKRP, Bama

I warn y’all, there is NO tweaker fixture this week.  Not by my omission, I assure you.  DO BETTER, JV NFL!

San Diego State (+3) at Air Force (7:00, CBSSN)

JV Boltmen! have been living dangerously, and as such, they get to be road dogs to the Zoomies.  Any chance of snow?  I am too lazy to look it up.

NC State (-3.5) at Miami-FL (7:30, ESPN2)

Oh man, that shit-pushing-in of the Massholes last week was the worst, because now I have bought in.  I foolishly think we could head into Winston-Salem 13 November, and the chips all be in the middle (to win the Division).  Why do I torment myself this way?  It’s just how we Wolven Sort roll.

Southern Cal (+7) at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)

It would be mighty nice if Troi Boiz had the pride to step up this week, and salvage a bit of their good name.  But they don’t, and won’t.

West By God Virginia (+4.5) at TCU (7:30, ESPNU)

PRAY FOAR WCS.  Because MOAR blood FOAR the Bloodeyes God seems in store.

Utah (-3) at Oregon State (7:30, PAC-12)

Holy shit.  This is a very intriguing, no doubt watchable matchup.  That nobody will watch, because they put it in the crowded window and left the tweakers holding their bollocks.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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rockingdog

Whoa
This MLB World Series is gonna be btwn two teams who are from the former Confederacy.
Atlanta vs Houston!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s pretty annoying.

yeah right

Home from a night out in Hollywood and one of the greatest meals ever.

I am as happy as I could possibly be.

It’s nice to be pampered.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You deserve to be feted.

You figure out if you deserve to be fellated.

Gumbygirl

Happy Birthday old fella!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It sure is!” – David Vitter

/talk about a blast from the past…

Gumbygirl

I’m so tired, can’t imagine why. At least I don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow.Now if only my house wasn’t full of tribbles…

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Senor Weaselo

Welp, it’s cheating baseball vs. cheating democracy. YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICA.

WCS
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You doing alright, man?

Brocky

Redshirt, if you’re still lurking around. ….

I dont wanna hear you complaining about OSU.

Like ever.

I’m not bitter

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Horatio Cornblower

Two outs away from the Atlanta-Houston World Series that gives Rob Manfred nightmares.

WCS

Holy shit. WVU won? Really? This must be the Upside Down.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll believe it when WV goes blue

Horatio Cornblower

I imagine the breathing problems related to coal dust will make a significant number of them turn blue at some point, but the important thing is that Joe Manchin lives in a houseboat.

BugEyedBoo

Back when Randy Moss was playing at Marshall, they decided to have a WVU/MU football series. IIRC, it was WVU/MU/WVU/winner of the best of 3/Charleston. Marshall didn’t even get kissed when it got that bit of buttfuckery. Manchin was governor at the time, and I’m convinced (by no facts whatsoever) that he was behind this. So fuck him.

I’m not a WVU hater, but I did get a laugh when Rick Rod outsmarted himself out of WVU’s chance to play for the national championship. That POS Manchin was there to accept the invitation, but it didn’t work out that way and he stomped off in a huff. That was pretty sweet. I couldn’t laugh too hard, though, because my wife is an ‘eer, and I didn’t want in the doghouse.

Last edited 2 years ago by BugEyedBoo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Runners on 2nd and 3rd with nobody out and the Dodgers can’t even get a single ball in play.

Horatio Cornblower

Poor at-bats, too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Like any good LA fan I’m absolutely enraged when one of our local teams fails to win a championship within fifteen minutes from the time I’ve started watching them.

Horatio Cornblower

Just got a frost warning for tonight, so I’m going to go out and get the last of our tomatoes, and really piss off Tom Brady.

herodotus450

We would like to apologize for stating earlier that Alabamama – Tennessee might be a good game.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s different from the other 364 days how?

herodotus450

I think there are fewer people in the stands than points scored by OSU (54)

Horatio Cornblower

UConn’s own, Sue Bird, ringing in the Seattle Kraken

https://twitter.com/hayyyshayyy/status/1452097203691048965

Am I angry that she’s not using her fame and many, many gold medals to bring a hockey team back to the state that gave her her start?

Yes. Yes I am.

herodotus450

Tennessee hasn’t been this embarassing to the South since Appomattox.

herodotus450

Okay Appomattox was and is apparently in Virgina. I could have sworn Tennessee, maybe Arkansas.

Horatio Cornblower

Plus Tennessee elected Marsha Blackburn to the Senate, so they’ve actually been much more embarrassing much more recently.

WCS

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herodotus450

I member a few years ago Clamson played a shortened 4th quarter against some pitiful opponent; I propose we forgo the entire 4th quarter of this osu-Indiana embarassment.

litre_cola

This needs the Balls 25 questions treatment.

Horatio Cornblower

We may need 26.

ballsofsteelandfury

My main question is why aren’t they wearing see-through teddies?

Horatio Cornblower

That’s the amateur pillow fighting, ya dummy.

Redshirt

From what I can tell, Ohio State has pulled everyone except the starting QB.

Horatio Cornblower

Did FanDuel really just put out a commercial using the phrase “my service hog”, or am I hallucinating before finishing my 2nd beer?

herodotus450

Hog in Chief

NotShogunButShogun

NEVAH ask him for the time! Him or Mr. Berle.

LemonJello

Best thing about USC football? The Song Girls.

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LemonJello

You’d think USC would teach their players to count to 11. They’re not U*NC, for crying out loud.

Horatio Cornblower

Brian Kelly is standing between two girls who are holding up boards with numbers on them, and you cannot convince me it’s anything other that making sure he knows what the current wind speed is.

Redshirt

Wow! OSU has a Punter?!

LemonJello

Selected by lottery from the student section.

NotShogunButShogun

Neither jv or profoot have anything viewable this week. What the F@CK NEILSENOR‽ what did we DO‽

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, Bears-Bucs should be HAHAHAHAH I can’t finish that sentence.

herodotus450

There’ve been some good games today, just unexpectedley so. Alaborma-Tennessee could be interesting too

LemonJello

THIS USC O-LINE, I CALL GREAT VALUE CONDOMS BECAUSE THEY DON’T PROVIDE THE PROTECTION YOU’D EXPECT FROM SOMETHING NAMED TROJANS

herodotus450

Montreal Canadian Hockey Team scored more points tonight in one game than the rest of the seson combined, 5 games.

LemonJello

So, like, 1 goal?

Horatio Cornblower

Guess I’m not the only one who misses the Whalers.

Fronkenshteen

HOWYADOIN’ BOYS!!!! Vipers played to a draw. Fronkensteaks came out juicy and tasty. Two girlfriends remain, and will be showered with breakfast food to make up for my kids’ morning behavior. NO!!! THAT IS NOT TARGETING AGAINST NOTRE DAME!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’d be kinda neat if that LiMu guy was involved in a Helicopter Crash.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve actually seen him perform with the Groundlings once or twice. He’s funnier there.

herodotus450

4th string ohio state defense still dominating 4th sting Indiana quarteredback

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe they pronounce it “Rizzing,” Don’t fit so well then.

Gumbygirl

Remember when he was Snoop Lion?

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Fo’ sho’ rizzle.

Redshirt

4th String QB Alert at Indiana!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh my, when City show up loaded for bear. That was a beatdown.

Especially since the largest game animal in the British Isles is a water vole or something.

(I just pulled that out of me arse.)

Horatio Cornblower

How did the water vole wind up in your arse?

Viva La Tabula Raza

It had some Richard-Gere-gerbil DNA in it’s genetic mixture.

Redshirt

“2121-22”? If you have access into future sporting events, you need to share with everyone else. You know the DFO Bylaws!

litre_cola

Gamblor has forsaken me again.

LemonJello

“Really!?! Oh, you said foresaken. I heard something else.”
-T. Tebow

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just back from Rocky Mountain National Park, excited to do nothing this evening. What’s the haps?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Vaccine side effects suck, that’s the haps.

Beats spending three weeks sucking on a leaf blower and then dying, though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good company, though.

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LemonJello

Did you have their oysters?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Did you take the Rocky Mountain Way to get there?
—J. Walsh (not the asshole congressman).

Gumbygirl

Are you Rocky Mountain high? I am.

LemonJello

My Illini beat PaedoU!

I hope JoePA is spinning in his child rapist protecting grave.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[wistfully imagines a big bag full of duck-flavored crackers] – Kolton Miller

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just wait until you see how shamelessly I promote my Halloween post this year.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Read that as “dick-flavored” first time through.

herodotus450

One more reason to hate the Quebecois: they sing the Canadian anthem in French.

litre_cola

Women are dynamite tho

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Agreed, the exploding women is definitely another reason why that region should be avoided.

Game Time Decision

Smoking and dynamite don’t mix

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, twenty minutes to kill before I walk the dog, and then it’s time for el beisbol.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can translate hippo but am getting lost in these euphemisms