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Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

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I made mention of it yesterday but I’d like to repeat myself-the commentariat was on fire yesterday and it was a blast participating. Old Aaron sure did take it on the chin, didn’t he? Anyway, quality work all round-I haven’t giggled and snorted that much in quite some time.

Fallout:

-Much like a drunk wr in a sports car, the Raiders keep rolling. First round cb Damon Arnette was released after a vid popped up of him threatening to kill, somebody? Anybody? I’m not into details. Seems like Vegas’ entire 2020 draft class is in a battle of attrition and attrition is winning.

-Welcome back Adrian Peterson! He scored a TD which obscured his 2.1 ypc number. But hey, he’s 42 yrs old or somesuch-good on him.

-There was talk that because Justin Herbert had two bad games back to back that he had been deciphered. (by two DC’s, I guess) After going 32 for 38 for 356 yesterday, Maury Povich has declared him…NOT SOLVED!

-Btw, the Chargers aren’t going anywhere until their atrocious run D gets fixed.

-It took but two weeks for the shine to wear off the once 5-2 Bengals. Now they’re among five 5-4 teams scrabbling to get their shit together in the AFC.

To The Game!

Bears/Steelers:

-Halas! Rooney! Original owners! This is my guess as to how the game will be introduced tonight because, as with many standalone tilts, it’s not going to succeed on its own merits.

-It’s unfortunate that Ben isn’t doing one of those ‘retirement tours’ during his last year. It’s his last year, right? Gotta be. That way, he could be given rocking chairs, pain killer prescriptions, knee replacement coupons and a lifetime supply of muumuu’s. Seriously, that guy is going to balloon up to 475 pounds once he doesn’t have to workout anymore.

-Montgomery has been activated! Will he lead the Allied Forces to victory in Tunisia? Harry Turtledove hasn’t gotten that far yet. Patience.

-Speaking of going on the offense, opposing forces love that Bear D. They’ve given up 30+ points and 400(!) yards in their last two battles.

-Fortune favors the Steelers here-they’ve won 19 straight home tilts on Monday night.

Do your blurst.

 

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TheRevanchist

Mike Tomlinson said in postgame, “…what matters is that you smile in the face of adversity.”

I don’t know if I have ever seen him smile. Is that actually possible for him to do? I mean, we have to assume he tried at least once in his life.

1
Anthony In TX

Here are two images of him smiling
comment image?w=725&h=484&q=75

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Anthony In TX

Well, that didn’t work.
(It was a picture of Omar Epps and Tomlinson side-by-side, making my comment very funny)
(Well, I thought it was funny. You’re not the judge of me!)

3
Gumbygirl

I’m tired. And old.

facebook_1636184744384_6862656218110694504_85676453781743(1).jpg
2
Brocky

I won my match-up but I still want to kick a puppy

2
Gumbygirl

Moxie! Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

1
Col. Duke LaCross

Shitty way for Santos’ streak to come to an end.

1
Gumbygirl

Wow. We did not deserve that win, but I’ll take it.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s the story of this season.

2
Col. Duke LaCross

Jesus, he almost hit that.

0
Col. Duke LaCross

Maybe not.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image&ct=g

Last edited 4 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
3
Dunstan

“Who is Mary Magdalene? I’ll take ‘Biblical References’ for $800, Aaron.”

“Not so fast. The judges say that was a correct response, but I’m gonna check with Joe Rogan.”

5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well that sucked. And this is the only correct taek

https://twitter.com/Benstonium/status/1457923673315217408?t=Cra1y6LXvx2KD7hHPz73pg&s=19

5
litre_cola

Gimme a Shanklor here.

1
WCS

The Mike Tomlin Legacy Game

1
Sharkbait

BLEERGH time

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Redshirt

What’s with all the offside penalties this week? Did people forget how to football?!

0
litre_cola

There is someone’s Johnson points.

0
Col. Duke LaCross

Left them way too much time.

1
litre_cola

Did he just say because of the penalty he would go for two? Bahahahahahaha

1
Gumbygirl

Well, fuck.

FDsswF2XIAMLwa4.jpeg
1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I wonder if State Farm would be fine with me lying about my vaccination status or other medical conditions when my life insurance policy is due.

2
Mr. Ayo

BLEEERGH wept.

Just kidding, this isn’t over yet.

0
litre_cola

Oh my. Hell of a drive

0
litre_cola

Oh my was that a bad call. If I hadn’t hit the over and Bears +6.5 I would be mad.

0
clint greasewood

Just waiting for the ref game fixing scandal that going to break years from now and all these games are look backed at.

0
Sharkbait

The ref looked like he backed into him didn’t it?

1
litre_cola

He definitely turned into him, like morning sex he was getting ready for contact.

2
Redshirt

Well he did screw him over.

1
Redshirt

2015-16 Wild Card Game: Steelers @ Bengals has to be on that list. The non-call on Ryan Shaizer’s hit that knocked Giovanni Bernard the fudge out definitely smells foul.

1
Sharkbait

Oh that is a WEAK taunting penalty

0
Redshirt

I hate to defend the referees, but he did stare down the opponents entire bench for like five seconds. I’d love to see the Steelers lose to the Bears, but that’s taunting.

2
Redshirt

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

1
Col. Duke LaCross

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

0
Redshirt

That WTF face from Ben after he lost that pass was beautiful.

1
Sharkbait

SUDDEN CHANGE!

1
Col. Duke LaCross

Sudden change?

2
clint greasewood

I just needed 6 points from Dionte Johnson to scrape out a win this week and with the Steelers shitty play calling and Rothisburger shitty passing I’m going to lose.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

PETA should get involved in this game to stop the abuse on the bears

3
WCS

/Buddy is suddenly aroused

1
Doktor Zymm

It may take years, but the bears should be able to recover, even if they can never survive on their own in the wild
https://followthesisters.com/dancing-bears-belitsa-happy-ending/

1
Sharkbait

3 people hate fun

https://twitter.com/TMZ/status/1457843369426698242

3
Gumbygirl

I’m surprised it was only 3. Must have been book club night for the Karens.

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

You know you’re hungry when a Taco Bell breakfast burrito ad looks good

1
Brocky

I went and got some taco bell.

I made food for my lunch tomorrow, but I was still hungry. I figured I was treating myself because i use to get taco bell all the time at my old job

3
Redshirt

I don’t know what the commentators are talking about. These referees seem impartial to me.

R.49dc0d97da0bbe67ec8d35a2d7d6c8f9 (300×222) (bing.com)

2
Doktor Zymm

Is the game any good? I just got home from a Diwali party and I am pretty tempted to go read in bed rather than watch the Bear baiting

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Go read

0
Mr. Ayo

You should do that reading thing.

0
NotShogunButShogun

Far better use of time.

0
Sharkbait

Jealous. I’ll bet the food was amazing. Mrs. Sharkbait got some Kaju Delight from a co-worker.

2
Doktor Zymm

I got leftovers for lunch tomorrow, some chole and moong daal bhatura!
There was also paan ice cream and jaleebi and cookies and it must suck to be a diabetic at Diwali

3
Gumbygirl

Are you covered in powdered paint?

0
Doktor Zymm

That’s Holi, Diwali is fireworks! Or sparklers in our case, since those are actually legal here. I’ve never been to a Holi celebration, although one of my friends went to one and said it was a different color every time she blew her nose for the next week

1
Gumbygirl

I always get them confused!

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Bleergh takes points off the board. Hahaha

0
rockingdog

Found a funny;

teacher: really? your dog ate three different homework assignments in one night?

hades: yes

6
Col. Duke LaCross

That was a horseshit penalty.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen Bears getting screwed like that since that night I went bar-hopping with Buddy Cole.

3
NotShogunButShogun

Last month irsay tried to “kick the stigma” on mental illness. Nevermind his video where he was three pill bottles to the wind.

0
Horatio Cornblower

That should be a catch, but holy hell that was a terrible throw by Fields.

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