Boxing Day Mini-Hippo Thoughts

I am annoyed with Lesser Footy, but there are a handful of watchable “Festive Fixtures”  10:00 brings City/Leicester (Peacock), Spurs/Palace (USA), and Saints/Hammers (NBCSN).  The rest conflict with RedZone time, so they can fuck right off.  Three ties are #TransformerNuAIDS-postponed.

More importantly, we had two meaningful NFL games on Christmas Day.  Thanks, Shield!  #ThePauls visited Lambeau, and oh boy, how they Pauled it up.  I mean, I don’t call him Baker, Baker, the Turnover Maker FOAR naught.  But Mayfield was wretched by his own standards today, getting picked THREE times in digging a 21-12 halftime hole – which extended to 24-12 in Q3.  Then…Bay of Green quit playing offense.  Despite themselves, Believeland managed to chip the advantage down to 24-22, and got the ball back after an awful Davante Adams drop (hard to believe, but I seen it with my own eyes).

2:05 to play, and needing only three – Stefanski remembered he had a stud RB in Nick Chubb.  After all, the team had all three timeouts – and Chubb pounded away – right, left, and centre (heh).  This belated, warranted usage (he was getting 7.5 yards per touch) only took him to TWENTY overall touches.  But it was now 1st and 10 at midfield, 1:01 left and no timeouts used.  Surely, Chubb easily gets 15-20 yards to steal the winning kick?

Nope.  Stefanski took Chubb off the pitch, and he never saw another touch.  Predictably, Mayfield tossed his 4th pickerception to end the game.

Now, it’s very correct to note the jersey tug by the Packers DB right before making said pick.  But it’s even MOAR correct to point out the insanity of putting yourself in that position anyway, and the game in the (tiny) hands of your most erratic player.  Nobody wants the AFC North, as we will presumably see when Cincy loses at home to the Ratbirds’ 3rd string QB.  STAY TUNED!

Another week, another playoff clinching scenario for Arizona’s Qards.  This week, home to shit-hot Indy, but a Humps unit down THREE OL.  Scratch that, FOUR OL after like 5 minutes of play.  That did allow Chandler Jones and pals to slow should-be-but-won’t MVP Jonathan Taylor down, but Dakota Jeebus…actually played kind of ok?  Turns out, AZ’s missing placement holder would be far more consequential than Indy’s OL/COVID woes, as Fatass Prater missed an extra point and two FGs, before making his last try in garbage time.  No joy on the ensuing onsider, and the Humps celebrate a yuuuuuggggge 22-16 win.

I actually have a buddy who supports the Qards (stayed with them when they moved from SL many moons ago).  He said Kyler is lost without Hopkins, and his words proved prophetic on the night.  Inaccurate, happy feet, awful decisionmaking.  The full monty of shitty quartered backing.  All of a sudden, Koach Kliff finds his seat getting uncomfortably warm.

We have many crucial Sunday Funday matchups, and Scotchy will preview them for you shortly.  Huzzah for FITBAW!