I’m peeved. Despicable Stan assembled a team of mercenaries and their triumph leaves an indelible mark on history. But enough about the Marvel cinematic universe.
Although Aaron Donald would’ve been perfect for The Intelligent Hulk. God damn; what a player.
NFL NEWS
No games until
[sigh]
September.
Yeah, I’m bummed alright. Although, gotta say: this was the first season where I felt there was too much football. This was aggravated by:
-Prime Time game blowouts
The Bers MNF against MIN was an abomination. The NFC East weekly showcase(s) underwhelmed bigly. Ben Roethlisberger shouldn’t have been on television, period. Late- and post-season Qards OMIGOD THE STANK.
-Late season games orgy
Back in 2020, I was jazzed about the Covid rescheduling. [Fill in the blank] Night Football was great! Tellingly, there were no TNF games after those rescheduling.
This season,
A coupla months ago, there was a stretch of fitbaw every other day. RAMMIT @ C-Hox & Iggles @ Commies rescheduled for a Tuesday, then you had TNF and two Saturday Xmas games. It got bloaty—for me, at least.
But I did keep an eye on the updated fantasy scores that Week. I’m not a Neanderthal, c’mon.
-The extra regular season game failed to bring added enthusiasm. I mean, sure, the extra loss got the Clots eliminated, but let’s concentrate on what’s important: I left a lot of gloating on the table. Never again!
-Two 7-seeds in the playoffs. Ok, this is a mixed bag.
By record alone, 7 seeds have been ballast. BUT, enter the Vegas Raiders.
The Week 18 SNF vs. Justin Herbert and his offensive line made out of flan was the most riveting game of the season (by that point). The stakes and playoff tie-break scenarios got unnervingly interesting. Most of DFO rooted for a tie, and even the NFL media got all Gijón this, Anschluss that. This was new, truly unique.
Except for DFOers rootin’ foar ties. We do love chaos ’round these parts.
So the 7-seed does add a crap playoff game but, before that, it gives teams a reason not to quit on the season. Let’s say there’s a certain mediocre team going through unusual drama—like the Chucky emails and firing, DUI-a-rama, etc. Playoff hopes and a less risk-averse Derek Carr gave Raider bandannas a reason to fly, and reek of wing wang.
So yeah. After further review, the NFL has not become less interesting. If anything, it got more intense: all playoff games after the Wild Cards were great, even the 9ers anti-fitbaw win at Green Bay. And BUF @ KC was insane, and heartbreaking for Josh Allen.
In fact, how nuts is it to have the Bills’ post season and not come within a whiff of the Owl? Bill Belichick got owned by Sean McDermott! Furthermore, I ask humbly: how can you get nine fucking sacks on a QB and still lose in your own stadium?! Oh, Tanny Boy!
OK, it seems like it’s critical distance time. Ugh. I already hate this offseason. Stupid inevitable passage of time.
LESSER SPROTS
All times Atlantic. I’m too morose for Math.
NBA
Sacramento @ Brooklyn – 8:30
San Antonio @ Bulls – 9:00
Portland @ Milwaukee – 9:00
Orlando @ Denver – 10:00
Houston @ Utah – 10:00
Golden State @ Clippers – 11:30
PRE-MADNESS EXHIBITIONS
West Virginia @ Kansas State – 8:00
Virginia @ Virginia Tech – 8:00
Oklahoma State @ Kansas – 10:00
Washington State @ Oregon – 10:00
NCAA WOMENS BASKETBALL
Florida @ Auburn – 8:00
Indiana @ Nebraska – 8:00
Maryland @ Iowa – 10:00
Oklahoma St. @ Illinois – 10:00
NHL
Detroit @ Minnesota – 9:00
Chicago @ Winnipeg – 10:00
Tirana @ Seattle – 10:00
Edmonton @ San José – 11:30
Finally, it’s Valentine’s Day. Imma trust my room-reading skills and just go ahead and post this,
, and spin this timeless plea for greater understanding and bliss:
Have a good one, peeps.
Damnit, I wish I had thought of “dirtywordle.com” two months ago.
Census Department called my parents’ home to do a survey. Since its 2022 and their business card says they are from the Philadelphia office (which is slightly away from Cincinnati) I asked to do it, just in case its a scam.
If its legit, I’m going to say they have 10,000,000 people who live in their house, just to inflate our representatives and electoral votes.
Downhill is terrifying.
“Angry Hill is even more terrifying.” – a 3 year-old boy in Kansas City
I would wipe out and tear everything in both knees 10 seconds into my run
I would fall immediately out of the gate. I managed to chip a bone in my ankle going up a towrope when I was 9. Worlds worst skier!
Great write up Sir. Dat season in a 3 minute read out. With jokes. Well played.
Well, the Mormons aren’t on the train ride home, so that’s good. Unless they know the words to “Hasa Diga Eebowai.” Then I’d be impressed.
You and your Ewok larping.
https://twitter.com/LauraJHolz/status/1493288472819478529
The bug guy came today, and my lips have swollen up. Took a benadryl, smoked a doob.
Looking increasingly unlikely that Japan will be open to tourists by May, plus there’s a good chance I’ll want to be in the US in May to make sure I’m able to get my Irani visa. Thinking I’m gonna bail and move my May trip to 2023. And somewhere not in Asia.
Ukraine is not in Asia.
Uranus is not in Asia.
Never has been!
“Ukraine is in Russia.” -Vlad P., Moscow
Well Ghibliland won’t be open until November so what does it matter?
THIS CURLING MATCH, I CALL IT VATICAN CITY BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF SWISS GUARDS
BATCH, LATCH, WATCH, CATCH, MATCH, PATCH, HATCH, NATCH.
I wonder if the people who choose wordle answers think about stuff like this.
I guarantee you the bit of code that randomly picks from the word list does not
I’d expect that a human ultimately signs off on it. Can’t have words like “VULVA” and “SEMEN” go live.
Why not? I REALLY thought I had today’s with “YONIC”
My first guess every game is FELCH
Stop trying to make felch happen.
So good:
https://youtu.be/eRw40EseH0Y
Obviously!
Colleague signed us up for a mixed wine club as a wedding gift. Second shipment arrived today, and we’d only had one of the six bottles from last months shipment.
We do not drink enough wine.
I’ll help!
Does it help that I’m drinking wine tonight?
I’ll take a few bottles for the team
Pick up only
Cecil Rhodes would not approve of this mixing of whites with others.
If you need one final taste of football to last you until the draft…
https://www.fox19.com/2022/02/14/live-fans-give-bengals-heros-welcome-return-cincinnati/
That’s nice!
I love that.
Honestly the city should be very proud of that team. They overachieved in so many ways.
Is that the over / under for the attendance at the Rams SB parade?
Oh, we love a parade. Doesn’t matter what it’s for. LA people will turn out for a parade.
Which, good God do I not understand.
Wasn’t even remotely tempted to go to the Angels’ parade.
I thought that was because of the whole excommunication thing.
Now that we don’t have to think about the NFL we can all turn our minds to more pressing problems.
I see a summer blockbuster!
Set in Boston, a Michael Bay film
When Spotlight won best picture, I wondered why I had never seen any advertising for it until I watched the movie. As it turns out, the neighborhood in Boston I lived in at the time was mostly owned by the church and they had to sell off a lot of real estate holdings to cover some…unexpected legal bills…
It will be “too much football” when they try to force feed us Zombie USFL. I liked 17 fixtures, because it turned going .500 into an art form. MAD RESPEK, Coach Epps!
Also, weren’t the Raiders the 5 seed?
Yes. Pittsburgh was the 7 seed.
7-layer dip counts as a balanced meal, right? You got your protein, your dairy, your vegetables…
I am going for covenience tonight. Frozen salt and pepper calimari, Asian salad kit (that I will doctor up,) hoisin, on tortillas. Easypeasysleazy. I was shredding this afternoon, I put it off way too long. Filled a ginormous garbage bag with shred. Looked like I was up to No Damn Good!
I just wish there was some other sport going on where the participants load themselves up to the gills with performance-enhancing drugs and commit violent acts upon each others’ knees.
The NHL comes close. Not so much the knee shots, but its something!
“Oh yeah?” -Marchand
The best thing about this season is that it was Tom Brady’s and Big Ben’s last.
No football?
That song always reminds me of the SNL skit in the bar.
Roger Gooddelll hurriedly shoves week 18 under the couch.