Start of Offseason Monday Open Thread

I’m peeved. Despicable Stan assembled a team of mercenaries and their triumph leaves an indelible mark on history. But enough about the Marvel cinematic universe.

Although Aaron Donald would’ve been perfect for The Intelligent Hulk. God damn; what a player.

NFL NEWS

No games until

[sigh]

September.

Yeah, I’m bummed alright. Although, gotta say: this was the first season where I felt there was too much football. This was aggravated by:

-Prime Time game blowouts

The Bers MNF against MIN was an abomination. The NFC East weekly showcase(s) underwhelmed bigly. Ben Roethlisberger shouldn’t have been on television, period. Late- and post-season Qards OMIGOD THE STANK.

-Late season games orgy

Back in 2020, I was jazzed about the Covid rescheduling. [Fill in the blank] Night Football was great! Tellingly, there were no TNF games after those rescheduling.

This season,

A coupla months ago, there was a stretch of fitbaw every other day. RAMMIT @ C-Hox & Iggles @ Commies rescheduled for a Tuesday, then you had TNF and two Saturday Xmas games. It got bloaty—for me, at least.

But I did keep an eye on the updated fantasy scores that Week. I’m not a Neanderthal, c’mon.

-The extra regular season game failed to bring added enthusiasm. I mean, sure, the extra loss got the Clots eliminated, but let’s concentrate on what’s important: I left a lot of gloating on the table. Never again!

-Two 7-seeds in the playoffs. Ok, this is a mixed bag.

By record alone, 7 seeds have been ballast. BUT, enter the Vegas Raiders.

The Week 18 SNF vs. Justin Herbert and his offensive line made out of flan was the most riveting game of the season (by that point). The stakes and playoff tie-break scenarios got unnervingly interesting. Most of DFO rooted for a tie, and even the NFL media got all Gijón this, Anschluss that. This was new, truly unique.

Except for DFOers rootin’ foar ties. We do love chaos ’round these parts.

So the 7-seed does add a crap playoff game but, before that, it gives teams a reason not to quit on the season. Let’s say there’s a certain mediocre team going through unusual drama—like the Chucky emails and firing, DUI-a-rama, etc. Playoff hopes and a less risk-averse Derek Carr gave Raider bandannas a reason to fly, and reek of wing wang.

So yeah. After further review, the NFL has not become less interesting. If anything, it got more intense: all playoff games after the Wild Cards were great, even the 9ers anti-fitbaw win at Green Bay. And BUF @ KC was insane, and heartbreaking for Josh Allen.

In fact, how nuts is it to have the Bills’ post season and not come within a whiff of the Owl? Bill Belichick got owned by Sean McDermott! Furthermore, I ask humbly: how can you get nine fucking sacks on a QB and still lose in your own stadium?! Oh, Tanny Boy!

OK, it seems like it’s critical distance time. Ugh. I already hate this offseason. Stupid inevitable passage of time.

LESSER SPROTS

All times Atlantic. I’m too morose for Math.

NBA

Sacramento @ Brooklyn – 8:30

San Antonio @ Bulls – 9:00

Portland @ Milwaukee – 9:00

Orlando @ Denver – 10:00

Houston @ Utah – 10:00

Golden State @ Clippers – 11:30

PRE-MADNESS EXHIBITIONS

West Virginia @ Kansas State – 8:00

Virginia @ Virginia Tech – 8:00

Oklahoma State @ Kansas – 10:00

Washington State @ Oregon – 10:00

NCAA WOMENS BASKETBALL

Florida @ Auburn – 8:00

Indiana @ Nebraska – 8:00

Maryland @ Iowa – 10:00

Oklahoma St. @ Illinois – 10:00

NHL

Detroit @ Minnesota – 9:00

Chicago @ Winnipeg – 10:00

Tirana @ Seattle – 10:00

Edmonton @ San José – 11:30

Finally, it’s Valentine’s Day. Imma trust my room-reading skills and just go ahead and post this,

, and spin this timeless plea for greater understanding and bliss:

Have a good one, peeps.