[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Instant Hippo Thoughts – 2021 Season Finale

King Hippo

/

,

Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace.

A great game to end an incredible playoffs, ruined on the final Los Angeles drive.  Let ’em play for 58 minutes, then give Enos his silverware for building his fancy Southern California stadium.  Just eat all the fucking shit.

Phantom defensive holding, followed by an even MOAR egregious “offset the offensive holding” slice of diarrhea cake, that the refs were CLEARLY inventing by conference.  Likely with the League in their ear.

Fuck Fatthew’s dipshit “critical thinker” wife, too.

Why do we do this to ourselves, year after year??  Sorry, I am too angry to give this any more words.

5 7 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
74 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Senor Weaselo

Announcing my new Panic! At the Disco cover band, apropos of current events:

Mormons! On the F Train.

1
Senor Weaselo

Also, they don’t hire musicians. Well shit.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Attention, LA residents! The parade is on Wednesday. I repeat, the parade is on Wednesday.

Adjust your schedules accordingly.

1
Brick Meathook

Parade for what?

1
Redshirt

It’s nice Cincinnati lost. 61 degrees would be too nice for a parade.

(resumes punching wall)

2
King Hippo

Seems like still 8 degrees short smgdh

/hides from Scotchy

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Look closely.

n6826kfdrph81.jpg
2
Horatio Cornblower

Had to grind it out, but I got it

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY HORATIO CORNBLOWER I CALL HIM JOHN DURHAM CAUSE HE’S FROM CONNECTICUT AND HE JUST SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME HUNTING AROUND TO FIND A PIECE OF TRIVIAL NONSENSE.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

It was a great game for almost 4 quarters. As much as we hate these fucks, this was a great year for the NFL.

2
Brick Meathook

Where were you flying from and to?

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

DC to Denver

1
Gumbygirl

Are you moving to the DC area?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Allegedly

0
ballsofsteelandfury

On the other screen, I have an Andy Sidaris movie on and Pat Morita is in bed with a naked Asian Playboy model and I have to think that to this day he still thinks that’s the best acting job he ever got.

Fuck the Karate Kid.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

One more thought:

This strangely mirrors what happened when the Raiders came to LA. They won a championship pretty soon after they got here and then nothing. Eventually, attendance dwindled and they moved the team.

So, what I’m saying is: London or Frankfurt, get ready to RAMMMMIT in about ten years!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

They’re showing the McVay Press Conference on the local news and he’s saying a whole lot of nothing. I’m just waiting for the announcement on the parade…

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Now it’s Cooper Kupp and he’s starting by taking about his wife.

Apparently, Valentine’s Day is getting pushed back in the Kupp household.

1
Brick Meathook

If it’s not a car chase or a storm watch I never touch local news.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Oh, I have it muted. I only turn it up for such occasions.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Fuck yeah, two-‘man bobsled!

1
JimU

Matt Stafford now has as many Super Bowl wins as Aaron Rodgers.

6
Horatio Cornblower

“And me! Maybe! I think!”

-Trent Green

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Same number of NFC Championship wins, too!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Superb Owl commercials Hot Taeks:

Someone in the comments said that AJ should have gotten capped at the end of the electric truck commercial and that is both hilarious and accurate.

Jamie Lynn Siegler still looks hot AF.

What was the deal with the bowling commercial? I didn’t recognize half those people. Was it supposed to be an homage to The Big Lebowski or Kingpin or both?

I love the comment someone made here that they decided to make Serena Williams the pedo.

Six year olds, dude.

Awkafina is a Tokyo Pachinko Parlor come to life.

Is it me or were most of the commercials just nostalgia? I didn’t see too many original ideas.

Last edited 4 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
1
Horatio Cornblower

Meadow with the lollipop was…nice

1
2Pack

It sucks that we miss the commercials overseas, AFN is prohibited from airing those because frigging government. So I am not sure what we speak of here. Time to head to YouTube to get myself straight.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Honestly, you didn’t miss much. I would probably prefer your broadcast.

0
2Pack

Non stop public service announcements, reminders not to : drink and drive, discriminate, sexual harassment, swim in unsafe areas, not properly ventilate fumes, aaarrrrhhhh…

/ runs with scissors
// real fast
/// in the dark

Last edited 4 years ago by 2Pack
2
LemonJello

What do we have* to tide us over until pre-season?

comment image

*Request Line, Sunday Gravy just to name 2.

/man I wish we had some more Hard Ride to Nowhere

2
JimU

I might be starting the DFO off-season book club.

2
LemonJello

Awesome. I’m in.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

That would be great! Please contact me if you want to write some posts!

0
JimU

I emailed Maestro Saturday night about it. I have to finish the book I’m reading now, Cruisin’ With The Tooz, and then do a quick post with like 10-15 highlights. We can do a little more discussion in the comments about the book. There’s quite a few old football books on the internet archive that I’m interested in.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Excellent!

1
ArmedandHammered

That sounds cool!

1
Gumbygirl

Yesyesyessityyes! We need some motherfucking culture around here!

0
Horatio Cornblower

Burble Borble!

3
Horatio Cornblower

Mock drafts!

Although Inhave to buy a new computer, as my personal one, after more than 10 years of service, is clearly dying.

Anyone have any recommendations? All I need it for is surfing and occasionally writing stuff. I’d also like some gaming capabilities, but not necessary. Please keep in mind that I am a low moron with tech

2
LemonJello

Desktop, laptop or tablet?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Laptop

0
JimU

I look at the laptop deals subreddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/LaptopDeals/

1
Gumbygirl

Thanks for this. Gumby and I are doing everything on our phones amd a tablet. Made buying a house fraught with danger. We could not read any of the documents, hopefully we didn’t sell our souls at the crossroad.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shit, you should have told me – I’ve got an old desktop I’d have been happy to “loan” you (i.e. never ask for it back).

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Request Line, plus something else music-related.

3
Gumbygirl

I’m still stuck in a rowboat with BFC and one of the Jerry’s.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh shit that’s right I forgot that you’d joined the cast!

0
Col. Duke LaCross

I’ve got an idea for a thing.

0
Redshirt

The Refs got involved in the game (which all the sports league has yet to realize is a problem), but them acting like Highway Patrol officers at the end of the month still not reacting their quota on speeding tickets doesn’t excuse the Zac Taylor brainfarting on the big stage:

  • Going for it on 4th down early granted the Rams momentum and an early score. That early in the game, you pin them back and play field position.
  • As soon as OBJ hit the turf screaming, you tell your defense to keep two guys on Cupp closer than his shadow and tell you pass rushers to rush Stafford like their lives depended on it.
  • Once it became apparent the Rams Halftime Adjustments involved Donald, Miller and the rest of his friend treating their 1st Half performance as a Personal Insult and they resolved to get Burrow reacquainted with Orthopedic Surgeon, they should have run more running plays, draws, screens or quick passes instead of constantly sending your QB to the firing squad.
  • I believe a wise person once said, “When there is 85 seconds left in the Super Bowl and you are down a field goal, YOU PUT YOUR BEST PLAYERS ON THE FIELD AND DAMN POSITION ASSIGNMENTS!!!” Unless Mixon punched someone again, he takes the field when your season’s on the line!
7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope you are feeling like I did after the Raiders lost – disappointed by the ending, but overall thrilled and excited about your team’s best season in ages. I’m 100% with you regarding the choice to pull Mixon. As soon as Burrow tossed the ball away on that second and short I was already second-guessing things.

Here’s to a rematch in the playoffs next year [raises mug].

4
Redshirt

Even the radio guys, who all but did an impression of Bob Uecker in Major League II.

“Burrow drops back. Throws IT DEEP… to nobody.”
“Obviously he was thinking…I don’t know what he was thinking?!”

3
Sharkbait

Us to the NFL:

comment image

6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

–

181864.jpg
6
blaxabbath

I didn’t follow a whole hell of a lot of nfl this season but, after that Richard Sherman-esque SB outing, I’m starting to question Jalen Ramsay’s credibility.

Welcome to winning a title on a stacked squad in 2022, Jalen.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

His financial advice is still on point, though.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

We’re all watching Finland-USA, right?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

And it’s 1-0 USA on the Power Play goal.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I was. Now I’m watching various Slavs throw themselves off of a perfectly good tower and flying really far on fat skis.

2
Horatio Cornblower

(The Japanese are also very good. Don’t want to Parcells them)

1
Porky Prime

Hey, I got dah bannuh!

It was an entertaining enough game that somehow snuck Tim Donaghy into the crew in the last 5 minutes. Gwyneth Paltrow ate a vagina candle. My girlfriend asked me why I was constantly laughing at my phone. Also, Roger Goodell is a national disgrace, as is Kroenke.

6
ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah you did!! Glad you stopped by and I’m glad things are going good with you!

4
Horatio Cornblower

It was well deserved. That comment was absolutely horrible and so funny I lost a good deal of beer out my nose.

2
Gumbygirl

That’ll do,pig. That’ll do!

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Half Time Show Hot Taek:

Ok, it was a great show. HOWEVAH, I’ve got a few quibbles:

If this was about LA, where the fuck was Ice Cube and the many other West Coast rappers from that era??

Last I checked, Mary J Blije was from NY. Fitty Cent was from NY. Oh, and let’s talk about the abomination that was white people cheering harder for Eminem (from Detroit) than for everyone else.

First of all, fuck you, white people!

Second of all, I saw it written here that there would be beef because Snoop would call out Cube for being a sellout and that’s hilarious because Snoop is the biggest sellout there is.

Snoop had a Rams jersey and a Bengals jersey in his bag ready to see who won.

Third, needed more bare nipple.

7 out of 10. The frustrating thing is that it could have been even better.

3
King Hippo

White Devils really have ruined, and continue to ruin, everything.

3
Brick Meathook

Hey the white man freed the slaves, remember that. Those slaves didn’t free themselves. Also Whitey invented the microphone.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Much like the game itself. Fuck you, refs, with all of a sudden remembering you have whistles. The one call I have a problem with is the defensive holding in the LB covering a WR. Then again, that was a mismatch that should have been avoided with a TO. Then AGAIN, said LB made an amazing play to knock it down.

At least some people at work will be happy.

Remember this: Aside from Spam, there are very few people in LA that actually like the Rams. Everyone is either a Raiders fan or a fan of a team from elsewhere.

But we do enjoy a parade.

Last edited 4 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
3
Gumbygirl

Ya know, I went to a Rams game this year. Place was packed and they were playing the Jaguars. There are plenty of Rams fans here.

0
The Maestro

YAKUBIAN NONSENSE

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ice Cube doesn’t really hang with that crew anymore. He has other interests now.

comment image

2
Senor Weaselo

The ONE time where hologram Tupac would have been almost acceptable, and they don’t have it!

1
Horatio Cornblower

As a middle-aged white male, here is my opinion on the halftime show:

1
Don T

Hippo keeps it real, always. Fitting, for an awkward end to the season. The false start no-call really really pissed me off. Officials shrunk to the occasion.

Still, I liked the game. The outcome wasn’t unjust, I think. Aaron Donald entering the Avatar state in the last drive was expected, but still shocking in its awesomeness.

7
74
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x