Listen. I didn’t ask for this job. I was pretty content to stay in Mississippi, huntin’, fishin’, cheerin’ on our state’s imminent ban on contraception, land baronin’ and whatnot. But Horatio is missing in action, so I’ve been called out of retirement in order to electronically transmit today’s mock fantasy whatever topic: cameos. These can feature NFL players, other actors, politicians, you name it, making a brief – preferably uncredited – appearance in a film (or television show). You know the basic rules by this point, but a few more: appearances on animated shows must be *as themselves* or they are invalid (i.e. you cannot draft Dustin Hoffman for his voice work on The Simpsons. But you could select John Madden). Actors *playing* important figures (like Jeanette Charles playing Queen Elizabeth in The Naked Gun) are not cameos, and are similarly invalid. Now get to work! With his first pick, Rikki has selected Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr. as the Vegan Police in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. Now have at it!
Editor’s Note: Horatio is, in fact here, but he has a headache from too much sun and maybe a smidge too much beer, and he is very grateful that Rikki came up with this idea last week, (when Horatio just forgot about Mock Draft Monday), and was able to slide it in, (heh), today. The only thing left to say, as you know by now, is
Don DeLuise doing “The French Mistake”?
v
This cat. In Titanic. Great cameo. Loved it.
5. Of course! Conan O’Brien’s cameo on the Simpsons.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SElXfoux0GY
Sorry I’m late. How about Rod Stewart in “So I Married An Axe Murderer”?
“A wizard is never late. He’s arrives precisely when he means to.” – Eli Manning, misquoting his favorite movie
Wait what?
Oh yeah.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RJACPfUU3nk#dialog
He’s playing a Rod Stewart song, but that piper isn’t Rod Stewart.
Dammit, you’re right. His name is Jek Cunningham. I BEEN LIED TO!!
THIS MANHATTAN I’M DRINKING I CALL IT YOUR MOM CAUSE IT IS GOING DOWN SO EASY.
THIS SITE I CALL IT CAM NEWTON AUCTIONING OFF HIS SERVICES IN FREE AGENCY CAUSE THERE IS COMPLETE SILENCE.
Thing I’ve typed tonight on a family text chain that I can’t imagine are oft replicated elsewhere:
The dick bouquet was not a real suggestion
Also, coming in late with 3 picks to make up for my lack of participation in today’s draft. If it helps, they’re all from the same movie: Hook
Phil Collins as the inspector
http://neverpedia.com/wiki/images/thumb/6/67/PhilCollins-InspectorGood.jpg/250px-PhilCollins-InspectorGood.jpg
Glenn Close as a pirate:
David Crosby as another pirate
http://neverpedia.com/wiki/images/thumb/6/67/DavidCrosby-pirate.jpg/250px-DavidCrosby-pirate.jpg
Kept expecting the Glenn Close pick but I didn’t want it
Penguins getting the true John Henry treatment.
He’s such a piece of shit.
Hey, look, Deadspin is trending on twitter! I wonder what they…oh.
[backs away]
Do I want to know?
It might be recency bias but it’s the worst thing I think I’ve ever seen them publish (based on the headline tweet).
Bob Seger has spoken! (just substitute ‘moves’ with ‘thread’)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH7cSSKnkL4&ab_channel=BobSegerVEVO
https://youtu.be/Xn4QyOoaOIo
4. My brain is fried so I’ll just go with Johnny Chan in Rounders.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aXbf3X56rGM
I enjoyed this draft topic almost as much as last week’s. Good jorb, Horatio and not-Horatio!
Way too big of a part to be a cameo, but James Van Der Beek playing an over the top version of himself in Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23 was masterful.
https://youtu.be/qRUj2pSXHM0
Discovered that show long after it was off the air, it was fantastic.
Merv Griffin in The Man With Two Brains.
Ah, damnit, I should have thought of this one. Well done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1apPcf1D4hI
Robert Redford in All Is Lost (2013)
best cameo appearance ever
Oooh, I remembered another one, Wallace Shawn as one of Sophie Lennon’s writers on the Marvelous Mrs Maisel
Last one. George Harrsion as Mr. Papadopolous, owner of the Mount in “Life of Brian”.
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I loved him. Even when I was a wee Gumbygirl, and he was fab, he was always my favorite. He was the greatest hippie that ever hippied.
Harrison financed Life of Brian. He said he did it because he “wanted to see the movie.”
Yup. If you pay for the film, you get a cameo.
Henny Youngman in Goodfellas (1990)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcXBP-1fduY
This is probably going to be my last pick, unless I change my mind, but want to make sure I got this in–
George Lucas in Beverly Hills Cop III
Sidenote – I encourage someone to pitch ESPN on a new sports-ish series, they can title it Brittfar – A Game of Inches
3. In tribute to the recently deceased Fred Ward I’d like to draft the entire movie “The Player”. But I guess that’s against the rules so I’ll go with oh…let’s say Jack Lemmon.
I think The Ramones singing Happy Birthday to Mr. Burns will always be one of my favorite “What the fuck did I just watch???” moments.
& the “…ya old bastard” at the end was the icing on the cake….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BpMw7gMOsA
“Have the Rolling Stones killed.”
“But, sir…”
Wow, he kind of got his wish, didn’t he? Are there any Ramones still alive?
Nope. All gone. (Still think ‘DeeDee OD’d’ should be the name of a group)
Been 30 minutes, so I shall select….
Burt Reynolds in Archer, the Man from Jupiter!
https://youtu.be/m9YLIXNl7-4
Steal of the draft?
Nancy Wilson (of Heart) in Fast Times at Ridgemont High was pretty surreal..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnejXxT_JUA
I just saw a billboard for Nancy Wilson’s Heart at one of the casinos in July. She must still be fussin’ with Dreamboat Annie. Shame.