Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

First, have a definite, clear practical ideal; a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends; wisdom, money, materials, and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end [in bed].
Aristotle

Almost sounds like he knew what as going on.

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Gonzo journalist. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it..
BeefReeferLives

Oddly specific subject matter.

LemonJello

Keep fucking that chicken!
SonOfSpam

There will be no Gonzo slander in this draft. His love for

Horatio Cornblower

BeefReeferLives

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Professional golfer
borisnow

Let’s face it; John Daly is living all of our dreams.

Maybe not the five marriages part though. You can just date, John, it’s OK.
Horatio Cornblower

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I wanted to post this earlier, but, been busy.

Princess is having a boy. Confirmed yesterday.

WCS

In Royal circles, I believe that’s an evergreen “Get Out of Doghouse FREE” card. Make sure you let Princess know your imaginary friends said so.
King Hippo

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Fuck this fucking snowflake

Susan Collins calls the cops to investigate “defacement of public property” after someone wrote a message in chalk on the sidewalk near her home asking her to codify Roe. https://t.co/YY7ehcDxLv

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) May 10, 2022

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Speaking of snowflakes, compare and contrast:

1) An imposing, “unscalable” eight-foot-high fence has been erected at the U.S. Supreme Court in the wake of protests over a bombshell draft opinion on abortion.

2) The US supreme court (https://www.theguardian.com/law/us-supreme-court) struck down a Massachusetts law ensuring a 35-foot protective “buffer zone” outside abortion clinics, ruling that it violated the first amendment by preventing the free speech of anti-abortion protesters.
BeefReeferLives

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THESE TAMPA BAY RAYS I CALL THEM NOT-ADRIAN-PETERSON’S-KID BECAUSE THEY HAVEN’T GOTTEN A HIT THROUGH SEVEN.
SonOfSpam

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THESE SUNS I CALL THEM A SPIRITED GAME OF VOLLEYBALL BECAUSE THEY ARE PREVENTING MAVERICK FROM SCORING.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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WOOOOO Kings!!
ballsofsteelandfury

Fucking Monarchist, just place your neck in the indicated area – Robespierre
ArmedandHammered

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Don T

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Mr. Ayo

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Habs won the draft lottery.
Leafs are losing 2-0.
Bruins are losing 2-0.
I have wine in my glass, and a pizza on the way.

Everything’s coming up Dunstan!
Dunstan

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I have the weirdest sense of deja vu… [ Tuesday’s open thread was posted at 10 DFO time, and then taken down until open thread time, cause #content and we’re bad at communicating]
Dunstan

“I’ve never been here before.”

— T. Green, after locking himself inside his own car for the third time this week
WCS

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Balls, kindly explain why I am just now learning that Temptation Island, (more accurately described as Whore Island, of course), is running another season, and I am learning this from a commercial on the USA Network.

I thought I knew you, man.
Horatio Cornblower

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Cindy Lou Who apparently saw some shit after that Xmas. [ from the Rock Queens Taylor Momsen edition]
Horatio Cornblower

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Man, this wine is fuckin’ great.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

— Rasputin
Dunstan

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I would like to thank you magnificent bastards for indulging my wrestling fetish. I do my best to mix fun and f***ed up stories. Next week will definitely have boobies.

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The joy of living in Tucson. I try to end my daylight with one hour floating in my pool with an adult beverage. My wife and daughter are wussies and refuse to enter water under 80 degrees even if the air temperature is 95.

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How did these hole in the head things not get infected? [ from the Tried And True Trepanation edition of Dr Chao’s]
blaxabbath

Real talk – if you pack peat moss from your local bog in the wound, it prevents infection. The lichen is actually a known antiseptic and it was regularly used in field hospitals.
The Maestro

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For the first time ever, Eli Manning has expressed interest in going to an establishment that serves adult beverages.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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My parents were Youth Pastors, and one day my dad told me that he believes when a pastor/priest/religious leader dies, before they are told whether they are going to Heaven or Hell, they are shown the souls of those who were led astray from The Lord due to their actions or inactions as their spiritual leader.

Every time I hear about a priest going political, I think about that story.
Redshirt

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Found the DFO Manual

Horatio Cornblower

Is that Auric Goldfinger?
Sharkbait

“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dine! On bacon.”
Dunstan

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I do love a dirty blonde [COTW], but am less excited about the itching and burning sensation that inevitably follows.

Now, what’s all this about a drink?
Horatio Cornblower

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There was a rocket launch from Vandenberg AFB this afternoon. They look better at night, like this 2017 Space-X launch, as seen from Yuma AZ, 400 miles away:

Brick Meathook

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Been binging the new Kids In The Hall. Up to episode 6 already. Greatly enjoying them.
ballsofsteelandfury

Settle down, Sandusky.
Mr. Ayo

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Just saw Eldest granddaughter play bass for her high school’s big band.

That girl can rip that damn bass.

Super cool shit. Guess the band is in the California state big band competition. I had no idea there was such a thing but it was a blast seeing them live.
yeah right

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What a bad bounce for Dallas. That’s happened to me, and it sucks as a goalie.
Sharkbait

Bad bounce for Dallas, you say?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pretty sure that play led to me discovering the tonyhomo blog, which let me to KSK, and then here. So really, this is why you’re all stuck with me.

Tony Romo has so much to answer for.
Dunstan

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WCS

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Spent two hours this morning cleaning out two fridges and the rather large pantry that we have. I was on the hunt for expired products. Five large cardboard boxes later the winner was…chili sauce and some jello packets that gave up the ghost in April of 2015(!).
scotchnaut

Salad dressing is my nemesis.
litre_cola

You must be the weirdest superhero ever.
scotchnaut

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Gumby hired our third lawn guy. Let’s see if he ever shows up again!
Gumbygirl

Man, you two must be rolling in it if you have three lawns!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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The Final Leafing has passed.
Mr. Ayo

My probation ended? – Ryan L., alleyway unknown
King Hippo

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FACK YOU FACKIN FACKS

I really, truly loathe BAHSTAHN.

WCS

Every Boston fan I know right now:
“It’s ok, I’m really more of a Red Sox fan.”
(looks at MLB standings)
“But these days I’m more into the Celtics.”
(after tomorrow)
“Can’t wait for the Pats season to start!”
Dunstan

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Sweet mother of Mary. A week in the office after 3 weeks at home feels like a month of Sundays.
But next week I’m off to see my sister, deci, and that prairie wino I let live until she gets tired of him.
Praise sweet Queen Victoria and her May month holiday! If you don’t love the Queen (other than the conquered states and those ungrateful Yankees) you can go suck on a copper nail.
BC Dick

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Important safety tip! If you’ve been on a mostly vegetarian diet for 3 months or so then decide to consume a big plate of barbecue be sure that there is a restroom readily available.

Might be here for a bit.

Sorry digestive tract, I should have warned you.
yeah right

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As much as I always enjoy Patriots Schadenfreude Day, the combination of a Bruins-Leafs Schadenfreude Day is amazing. It’s like having two beautiful women service you at once.

I assume.
Dunstan

Seriously, if I was a Leafs fan I would quit on the team and move on at this point.*

*as a Senators fan I realize that this opinion carries no weight whatsoever
scotchnaut

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Did I mention Wifey is a keeper? She’s spending her Sunday doing a 8 1/2 hour round trip drive delivering 4 baby raccoons (that one of her employees was trying to care for) to an animal rescue service.
scotchnaut

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I’m a very adventurous eater and will try pretty much everything once.

/unzips pants
//realizes he typed “eater”
///zips pants back up

God, that tarantula story. Thank you for not including that in my snack delivery.
SonOfSpam

“Yet”

-Litre Cola
Horatio Cornblower

I mean, it’s hard to imagine sommet being grosser than that Big Turk abortion
King Hippo

I would eat approx 5000 Big Turks (the candy bar or the Eurasian guys) before I would try one tarantula.
SonOfSpam

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Quick Clubhouse Poll – will the Ice Stillers lose in regulation, or in OT?
King Hippo

WCS

…double OT
WCS

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Paging Redshirt, how did the Reds lose without giving the Pirates a hit?
litre_cola

Three walks and a fielder’s choice.

Best part, the Reds don’t get credited with the no hitter because the Pirates only batted 8 times.
Mr. Ayo

Ha ha ha ha ha!

ballsofsteelandfury

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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