Morning folks. I’m a bit stumped for a topic this morning, and I’m dealing with having to write an appellate brief as well.
I am not an appellate attorney.
When in doubt, I dip into the Suggestion Box and pick a topic from one of you fine Kommentists. Today’s topic comes from the fertile, and at the time “drunker than hell” mind of Scotchnaut. Drunk or not it’s a good one, and I’m happy to use it. I probably should have given him the first pick, but last night I had my nose buried in the Connecticut Practice Book’s appeals section, looking for answers to such questions as how many pages does the appeal have to be, what margins am I allowed to use, and where is the Appellate Court anyway. Seriously, they moved it since the last time I was there, and they did not tell me where.
That said, to the topic! Today you are drafting people you wished lived five more years. Five may seem strange, but looking at the people Scotchy suggested you’d be looking for people who’s lives were unfairly cut short. My first pick, for instance, is Lou Gehrig, who’s life was cruelly and ironically cut short by Lou Gehrig’s disease. What are the odds? With five more years The Iron Horse would have pushed his consecutive games streak to a level Cal Ripken would never have broken, no matter how long his Daddy managed the team.
Rules? There are none. You can draft anyone you wished had five more years in them. If you want your Mee-Maw back, go ahead and take her, but maybe read Stephen King’s short story ‘Gramma’ first.
Oh, and one more thing: The choice for commissioner can really only come down to one person:
5. Betty White. Who wouldn’t have liked to have her around for another five years? She just made everything more fun.
She really just needed a few more days to hit 100….
Last Hippo Pick – Jessica Walter
Craig Sager was a cool cat that left us way too soon.
Billy Shakespeare-a few more explorations of the human condition? I’m in.
Peter Sellers.
If only to stop Steve Martin’s execrable remakes.
Yitzhak Rabin. Who knows if he would have gotten a middle east peace deal all the way done, but worth a try.
Charles Bukowski first experienced success at 51-he lived a shit life for so long but just kept on writing. Whatever you think of his art, I’d like him to swim in success for another 5 years.
One more from me. Terry Pratchett, without the Alzheimers.
Janis Joplin is still on the board?
Yoink!
4. Edgar Allen Poe. It was between him and Lovecraft, and I went with Poe because a) he was younger and b) he was still writing at the time of his death.
Also, as far as I know, Poe wasn’t a virulent racist.
Believe it or not, that too was a factor in my decision.
I wouldn’t have minded a little more Jimi Hendrix.
Lofty draft pick.
There could be a whole draft with just musicians on this topic
He was on my board but I forgot to pick him
Alright at least to cockblock Rikki, I’ll take Hunter S Thompson off the board.
Tom Brady. He’s still alive, but I want him to live another 5 years on top of that.
Trayvon Martin, because it might mean George Zimmerman was dead.
Of course, that would also mean prison for Trayvon, so lemme think about this…
Fuckin’ Florida, man.
Next pick is Antonio Stradivari-doing this on behalf of Weaselo because he has clearly dropped the ball.
Hey, in fairness he was 92-93 and past his Golden Period.
Painfully obvious, but five more years of songs out of this guy would’ve been amazing. Kurt Cobain.
[nods ‘yes’, breaks out into seizures]
-Ian Curtis
If Tim Russert lives another five years, Chuck Todd isn’t waiting around while David Gregory stinks up the place so he never gets Meet the Press, right? If so, I’ll take Tim Russert. If not, whomever else died to give Chuck Todd his start.
Ian M. Banks, I want more Culture books dammit.
Duane Allman. Imagine his output from 1972-1976, the golden age of American rock & roll.
I’ll take Kobe, mainly to get trade value from the LA contingent but also to not have all the martyr bs while I was living out there.
That was so gross. So was Kobe.
I have three different authors on my board…trying to figure out my greatest positional need.
/This is one for the Canuckians
Jack Layton was the charismatic (in the best sense of the word) and pragmatic leader of the NDP beginning in 2003. As the leader of the third party in Canada he had no path to power federally. However, he propped up a few minority governments while chipping away at their support. In eight years he increased the number of NDP seats from 19 to 103(!). He did this by attacking the Liberals decades-long stronghold in Quebec and ended up winning 59 of 75 seats. He could have changed the entire landscape in the next election cycle but he died a few months after his triumph in the 2011 election. What might have been…
Excellent pick, and topical with the election here in 2 weeks. Don’t forget to vote. Early voting open until Friday
Having re-read the rules, here’s the super obvious choice: I pick myself, if only so I can spend MOAR time with Football Manager.