BOTG Opportunity? Frank Lampard’s Everton in the Charm CIty

As you all know, I really hate leaving the house.  But the thought of an international flight REALLY seems like a dealbreaker to this modern recluse.  As such, 16 July in glorious Baltimore is likely my only chance to see Frank Lampard’s Everton.  Perhaps some of the Clubhouse Gooners would join in the fun?  Or even some non-affiliated East Coast muthafuckas gon’ represent.  I credit Senor Weaselo for bringing up the idea.

So, let’s weigh things up, shall we?

POSITIVES:

  1. The rugged handsomeness of Frank Lampard.
  2. Perhaps seeing Tim Howard at a pub crawl?
  3. Easy/affordable Amtrak trip ($114 business class each way, under 7 hours with booky-book and Wi-Fi).
  4. The only DFO’er I have ever met is the Dear Departed tWBS.
  5. I have plenty of pills in me quiver, and this does not interfere with my refill cycle.

NEGATIVES:

  1. Outdoor activity, in the quasi-South.  IN GODDAMNED JULY.
  2. I really don’t have the booze tolerance to survive a British-style pub crawl.
  3. Looking at 100 Ameri-quid for a ticket.  For a goddamned friendly against a team we play all the goddamned time anyway (and who will murder-kill us like always).
  4. Tim Howard would absolutely kick my ass in a fight.
  5. Two nights of not-home-bed sleeping?  ICK.
  6. Cats will be angry, and rightly so.
  7. Balmer’s murder rate (I keed, was there for the #BFIB 4 or 5 years ago, and everyone was absolutely delightful – Baltimore is a damned underrated city).

So, what y’all think?  It seems crazy, but then again…Guilty As Charged there.

5 1 vote
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
86 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Game Time Decision

When we watch shows with closed captioning on, how the captions describe the music is always good for a laugh. If you’ve never heard music, what does ominous music sound like? Or really any music

yeah right

I’m watching “Roadrunner” the movie about Anthony Bourdain and it’s not an easy watch.

At all.

Fucking hell man.

scotchnaut

I’m surprised that the Acme Corporation would even allow it to be made.

Brick Meathook

5-Way Cincinnati Chili
Hard Times Cafe
Old Town Alexandria VA

If you ain’t had it don’t knock it

comment image
comment image
comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Brick Meathook
yeah right

No knocking here. When done right it’s fantastic.

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

My new favorite tune is ‘Lemon Tree’ by Mt. Joy. As a dumb oldie I have no idea whether this is a cool, cutting edge tune or whether it’s in danger of being labeled “Dad Rock”. It’s a great time to be (barely) alive!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV8eoai0HNk&ab_channel=MtJoyVEVO

2Pack

I like it. Nothing like the original which I would call Grand Dad Rock BTW…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek2NucwOOvs

2Pack

I wonder WTF “Special Teenagers” was all about?

Sharkbait

Running various pricing options now. Vegas bachelor party took a chunk of finances, plus Mrs Sharbait and I are going to Maine for a beach weekend the last week of the month. Not saying I’m out, a solid questionable for sure.

Dunstan

“Just list everyone as ‘questionable’, that’s what I do” — Bill Belichek

Sharkbait

It’s on brand for up here.

Dunstan

Hey, Happy National Gin Day!

Sharkbait

Thanks! That reminds me, about time to make a G&T

Gumbygirl

Gin will make you sin. Have two!

Sharkbait

If the Ice Giants come out flat tonight, there will be plenty more, don’t worry.

scotchnaut

That’s the NHL equivalent of “lower body injury”. Will he, can he, should he go? We have no idea.

/as written, it looks like I’m making fun of you but I’m making fun of the NHL’s vague injury designations
//I could have changed the wording but, lazy.

Sharkbait

Accurate

scotchnaut

(Kate breathing heavily)

This horror/croc movie turned into a porno so slowly, etc, etc…

scotchnaut

[remembers some 3rd base thingys back in high school when the parents were upstairs.

-brought to you by (Kate groans quietly)

Mr. Ayo

Is Kevin with her? And is peanut butter involved?

scotchnaut

I think we’re up to about 27 (Kevin barking)’s now. He’s got the limited range of an autistic Jason Statham.

scotchnaut

“31”

Brick Meathook

comment image

scotchnaut

“The ‘Light At The End Of The Tunnel’ has a staircase? No thank you.”

-A. Reid, talking about his very recent decision regarding atheism

ArmedandHammered

Well, the bright light which does the lifting probably has a weight limit. Even heaven has it’s limits, plus I bet Hell has got some amazing pit cooked bar-b-que.

Last edited 2 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Gumbygirl

.

download (32).jpeg
scotchnaut

/an insult that I just heard

“She once worked as a stripper-her co-workers called her ‘Hitler’ because of all the damage she inflicted on the poles.”

ArmedandHammered

Best insult I ever heard: “You know Katie, you remind me of the heel on a loaf of bread, everyone touches it, but no one really wants it.”

scotchnaut

“45 minutes in and haven’t seen any crocs yet.”

-I’ll take, ‘Things Jenn Sterger has never said’ for $600, Alex

Gumbygirl

.

aa02f73748c2dc7fd6d3de6b1c32111a11d6a51c76d5537b72b5f339c9b4c2f1_1.jpg.jpg
Dunstan

“Yes.” — Rockwell

scotchnaut

I have the subtitles on. One of the actors is a dog by the name of ‘Kevin’ so I’ve read (Kevin barking) more than a few times so far.

WCS

comment image

ArmedandHammered

How much are the tickets? Not that I expect to not be shocked.

ArmedandHammered

I have clearance, I say again, I have been cleared for road trip!

Dunstan

Roger, Roger, we have clearance, Clarence. What’s our vector, Victor?

yeah right

Damn. Even two weeks ago I could have made this happen but alas my summer dance card is booked solid.

San Diego in 2 weeks and Seattle in September.

I was long ranging a possible trip to Wrigley in 2023. Couple of the young’uns haven’t been and that just will not stand!

scotchnaut

A movie about a crocodile (“Rogue”) that gets an 89% rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Folks, I’m going in.

Gumbygirl

Gumby loves a critter running amok movie!

scotchnaut

[slowly becomes turgid]

-Gumby, watching Jurassic Park

ArmedandHammered

Hippo, I know a way to drive around DC to get to Baltimore. You interested in having someone join you on the road trip?

ArmedandHammered

I will have to check with SHE WHO COMMANDS MY LIFE, but I think it would be a lot of fun. I will talk to her when she is less annoyed, hopefully later today. Maybe after we got to the Doobie Brothers concert tonight.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

ArmedandHammered and teh Hippo both in Bawlmer? I think DFOcon east may just be afoot.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Rex Ryan’s erection intensifies

Dunstan

“Too dangerous a crowd for me.” — Ray Lewis

Gumbygirl

You should get Fozzie to go. Hey…when’s the last time Fozz showed up here? It’s been awhile. Hope he’s ok, could someone check?

ArmedandHammered

He got a new job! Shit, he shows and I will buy him some bourble!

Gumbygirl

He got a job? Yay!

Game Time Decision

Hippo, you gotta go. No planes, not too far away, not passport needed and lessor footy. The heat might suck, but I can break a sweat lying down outside in the middle of winter, so might as well sweat doing something enjoyable

2Pack

Saddle up and ride Hippo! The cats will understand.

Gumbygirl

I think of it this way: when I go away for a few days, it gives my cat a reason to be righteously pissed when I get home. He enjoys that, so it’s a bonus for everyone!

Gumbygirl

Our cat Wilbur walked into our room once when Gumby was packing for a business trip, looked us both dead in the eye, and shit in his suitcase.

Dunstan

Should get some exercise today, so I’m going for a walk. To buy bacon. A walk cancels out bacon, that’s just science!

scotchnaut

You should probably make another stop at your local donut shop, as long as it’s out of your way.

Gumbygirl

Bacon donuts. Hey, when did we all collectively agree that it’s donuts instead of doughnuts? I can’t remember the last time I saw it spelled the original way!

Gumbygirl

We had one of those in Birmingham. The food was great, but they had the worst servers. Ludicrously bad. They’d all stand in a corner and ignore everyone. The manager would try to roust them, and they’d move to another corner. I gave up after a few times there, but I heard they fired everyone, closed for a few days, and then reopened with new staff and things were fine. Sometimes you get a bad mix of people, and there’s no fixing it.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
scotchnaut

I feel like 10 points drop off my IQ every time I spell it the new, shorthand way. The bots at Dunkin’ have won.

Game Time Decision

Same. But my walk will be back and forth in my yard, pushing a spinning blade around to try to nawt have the overgrown lawn in the neighbourhood

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m out for a walk right now and absolutely stopped at the bakery first

scotchnaut

Atta Boy!

yeah right

I’ll get a harbor walk in then have an orange and a piece of toast for breakfast.

Don’t get me wrong! I’ll have bacon before the day is through.

Gumbygirl

.

tumblr_oycsqzBRbh1vy747uo1_1280.jpg
ballsofsteelandfury

I wouldn’t say the city failed. I’d say an ideology failed.

scotchnaut

I realize it was written by a woman but she seems to be suffering from “Old Man Syndrome”. Her car was broken into so she looks up that statistic, she says that the city has very low rates of violent crime but the petty crime stats are crazy. She complains about the city throwing tons of resources at the homelessness problem (which other cities almost completely ignore) and advocates throwing them in jail (a ‘solution’ that doesn’t accomplish anything). She saw a dead homeless guy on the street-yeah, that’s where the homeless usually die. She whines and complains about the city’s DA, that was voted out of office-as though he was the source of all the city’s woes.

/she makes a reference to NIMBY’s but she seems like one herself

Last edited 2 years ago by scotchnaut
scotchnaut

I’ve heard that somewhere as well.

Mr. Ayo

Criminalize homelessness sounds like a super duper great plan for a society.

Gumbygirl

Yeah, but is it for everybody’s benefit that individual rights always supersede community rights?They live crammed together in a relatively compact area. Surely order and cleanliness are at least as important? I don’t want to walk through anyone’s shit. I don’t want people helping themselves to my stuff. I know that’s an oversimplified response to a complex problem, but what do you do about people who can’t/won’t make any effort to help themselves?

ballsofsteelandfury

Futurama had a solution but no one wants to consider it:

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

They also believe in reincarnation, so maybe the message is “Better luck next time!”?

scotchnaut

“Preach, brother!”

[takes a swig of scotch, chases it with a beer]

scotchnaut

The thing is, all those programs she listed no doubt offer counseling and rehab opportunities to those that want it but that was deliberately glossed over.