Editor’s Note: Please click here for Part 1, here for Part 2, here for Part 3, here for Part 4, and here for Part 5.

In my line of work, you see a lot of crazy things. You also see a lot of ugly things. Nothing had prepared me for what I saw next. The cabana, as most all cabanas do, had an opening which could be shut for privacy. The problem is always that it’s not permanent, so there’s always a crack for the enterprising pervert slash private detective to see through.

As quietly as possible, I made my way to the crack and looked in. By the Grace of God, it was the perfect viewing angle. Rölf, going left to right across your screen, was ruthlessly attacking Claudia’s backfield. Her defense was holding, but just barely. The goal was coming any minute now.

To their right, a flat screen TV was showing the same exact video Rölf had told me about two days earlier. What he didn’t tell me was who the supporting cast were.

Your nominee for Lead Actor in a Short Smut Film was Rölf himself. This much I knew. He had told me of the existence of this tape because he thought someone was trying to get to him through Lara. Fair enough.

What he did NOT tell me was that Claudia was Lead Actress and Lara was Best Supporting Actress. The donkey and the midget were there but they didn’t even warrant a credit beyond the standard “no animals were harmed during the making of this film” that no one pays attention to.

However, the big reveal came when the Special Guest Star appeared on camera. He was wearing an Indian suit and hoovering up two or three lines of what must have been Colombia’s finest all-purpose flour, but it was clear as day where his work office was in downtown LA.

No wonder Mark drove his ass two hours east each Wednesday for a month.

I didn’t need to see Rölf’s goal celebration, so I quickly got to my room after taking a couple of photos with the phone. Whether they might become useful or just end up in the private collection was still to be determined.

I wasn’t tired before, but I was now. The whole thing had imploded and now I had to figure out how, if possible, to put the pieces back together. Oh, and by the way, my ass could join Lara six feet under if I wasn’t careful. Mark was my friend, but we weren’t that good friends and I had just dined and dashed his sister.

My head hurt and I wanted to sleep and wake up a thousand miles away. I think the part that hurt the most was that Rölf was banging Claudia despite her penchant for ordering avocado toast. I had really started to like Rölf.

As my mind started to drift off to sleep, Rölf finally hit the scoreboard and the crowd went wild. He would eventually record the brace while she would get one back herself for a 2-1 final. Word is there was an own goal there somewhere, but you’d have to read the game summary to find out the details. I had turned the game off and was serving cocktails in Cancún by then.

About seven piña coladas in, I had an epiphany and woke up. I walked outside to get some fresh air, came back in to take a shit, and fell asleep again.

The next morning, I felt much better. The Cancún All-Inclusive had done wonders for my outlook and I was ready for what lay ahead. I called Rölf on the cell and told him I had news. We arranged to meet at three at the pool. No brunch this time.

I ordered room service, took a shower, and watched TV while I ate. This time, I ordered twice the amount of food and drink just for the fuck of it. Rölf was paying the bill, so who cared?

After breakfast, I went to the bathroom to offload and call Mark.

“You still in town?”

“I’m on the 10 headed back. Why?”

“Turn around. How far away are you?”

“Just passed Redlands.”

“You’ll want to come back. This will make up for your sister.”

“That doesn’t sound too good.”

“Trust me, it’s good. I’ll be nice to you. We can meet at Morongo in a half hour.”

“Now why would I do that?”

“Because I just solved both your case and mine.”

“You don’t know anything about my case.”

“Exactly. That’s why you’ll see me in a half hour. Later.”

I hung up on him right before I let a big one rip. I really should have waited to leave on that note. I need to work on my timing.

***

As I waited in the parking lot, I was glad that Morongo still had free parking. Vegas had been going downhill for years but when they got rid of the free parking, that was the last straw. I vowed never to return and I’d managed to keep that one.

Mark arrived about ten minutes after I did. We exchanged pleasantries and then I got right down to business.

“Ok, so, we’re friends right?”

He said “Yes” hesitantly.

“Ok, bottom line. I help you. You help me. No judgments. No…. repercussions?”

“What the fuck are you driving at?”

“I know why you’re in the desert and I can help you to … sort your problem out. But I also need you to keep my ass clean and alive. Deal?”

“Let’s hear what you think is my ‘problem’ and we can go from there. But if you’re right, yes, we’ll help each other.”

I laid it all out for him the way I saw it. I also told him my plan and how I wanted to resolve everything.

“Deal. This saves my ass too. You can fuck my sister anytime.”

“Aren’t we generous now?”

“Hey, if this plan of yours works, we’re both off the hook and I can go back to my regular stuff.”

“How the fuck did you get assigned to this shit job anyways?”

“Let’s just say you and I have a lot in common.”

“Sister?”

“Wife. In my defense, I didn’t know.”

“That’s what I always say.”