We’ve all been there. It’s a rainy, (or, this summer in Connecticut, stupidly hot and very dry), Saturday, there are no decent sports ball things to watch on the teevee machine, and you’re idly flipping through channels rather than working out, reading a book, or attending to the most basic needs of human hygiene.
Also you may be drunk.
And then you flip right into it: The Movie That Must Be Watched! Everything comes to a stop while you finish this magical film you’ve stumbled upon. Doesn’t matter where it is in the film either; could be five minutes from the end, could be the opening credits. Either way, you’re their for the duration.
Today we’re drafting Movies That Must Be Finished. The genre does not matter. Could be a heist movie, could be a rom-com, (I mean, it probably shouldn’t, but it could be), could be The Blair Witch Project. A hat tip to Scotchnaut and BC Dick, whose conversation from Friday night originated this idea.
But only once the for the latter, because we all know what happens if The Blair Witch Project gets picked more than once.
Your commissioner for this week’s draft has no name, but is probably responsible for more movies that are going to grind my day to a halt, The Man With No Name, Mr. Clint Eastwood.
Although, as it turns out, he sort of does have a name. Clint. Mr. Eastwood if you’re nasty.
With the first pick, and once again as part of my running bit where I take this movie before Sharkbait can, I’ll take Kelly’s Heroes. The rest of you are on the clock.
Based on the day I’ve had today, I’m taking “Office Space”. If it’s already been picked, I welcome the Commissioner’s bullet.
I left for a few hours and that was my number 3
You appear to be in the clear.
/shoots you in the foot anyway.
Oops.
Horatio and Brick took my picks because I just got here, so…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i0u4jFmE78
Relevant since we’ve recently had a whiny attention-seeking weakass incestuous bitch of a wannabe emperor here.
Last one, and I’m going back to the Clive Owens Well. I’ve been to the Giggleheim Museum (they happened to be showing some works by Kandinsky so I totally geeked the fuck out) so I love this scene so much. It’s The International.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HumId-frYd4&ab_channel=PaldoMovieClip
Hoosiers! It had everything-successful redemption arcs, failed redemption arcs, an extremely awkward kiss scene, full court sprints!, a wise ass telling the rubes to fuck off, the whites beating the blacks, the Picket Fence, the rurals beating the urbans, alcoholism, underhand free throws, overbearing parents. Need I go on?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m21URyBS–Y&ab_channel=MrGeorgeE3
I may have crossed a line here.
I met a girl many years ago whose dad was on that team.
Super Troopers opening 30 minutes was completely bananas. “What the hell am I watching?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rqE_taP16Y&ab_channel=COMEDYNIGHT
Shenanigans!
Well, “Meow”!
I think we know where I stand here.
See, I’ll go Beerfest. It doesn’t matter when I catch it, I’ll watch until the end.
v
Likewise. Plus, it makes me very thirsty.
The is The Longest Yard, later remade by Hans Moleman
“Again!” Name one one(!) ex-Disney kid star that could pull off that suit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nR3reKPE5Y&ab_channel=HaysChristianChurch
Britney Spears.
I’ll shoot the man that even acknowledges there was a Part III, let alone picks it.
A League of Their Own, especially if it’s anywhere near this scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndL7y0MIRE4
Tombstone is tremendous late round value. I’ve got that movie memorized-I use the line, “I’m your boysenberry” all the time!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVIovQTzfwc&ab_channel=JoBloMovieClips
That would have been Gumby’s pick. “You’re no daisy. You’re no daisy at all.”
I’ve got a serious crush on Dana Delany.
Cutting the cable doesn’t help channel surfing any, and I don’t get to do that much anymore. Having said that, Blade. Yeah, it’s far from the best film ever made, and the CGI at the end is terrible. But I have to watch it.
The Hitman’s Bodyguard.
I searched this site for this and can’t find it:
(That means I’m picking it)
Nice one. Yeah, if I see this on, I’m usually watching until Carlo’s foot is sticking out of the windshield.
I’ve seen this entire movie probably three times, but never once start to finish.
That’s me and An Officer and a
GerbilGentleman.Poor Nibbles.
BTW, The Offer (a recent docudrama about the making of The Godfather) is some good stuff.
Might have said this here. My daughter told me the other day, “I watched The Godfather. Al Pacino is a good-looking guy!”
“Uh, not any more.”
-BugEyedBoo
I would pick Grease in honor of the late and lovely Olivia Newton John, but I’ve never actually watched it.
She’s dead?
Apparently as of today.
Oh Mrs. Cornblower is not going to be happy.
You’re saying she’s no longer ‘Physical’?
Depends. How far are you willing to go?
No, she’s still here in a purely physical sense…
The Grease curse strikes again, although vintage female singers are dropping like flies today.
Who else went?
/looks nervously as Debbie Harry concert ticket order.
Not a singer, but David McCullough
I’ve got a bunch of his books, good writer.
That said, he was 89. That’s a good life.
I once went drinking’ with David McCullough and Art Buchenwald; they took turns telling me stories that they had told a million times but knew that I had never heard them.
Soooo, David McCullough is history?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mznsEcZlM2I&ab_channel=beepboopvideo
That other chick died too
“Oh Mrs. Cornblower is not going to be happy.” – overhead from various people speaking in confidence on her wedding day.
I can assure you, they were not speaking in confidence.
Dad Boot (1981)
I watched this 400 feet below the surface of the North Atlantic. The difference? We won.
Dad Boot is what happened whenever I did something wrong as a kid.
Das Belt for me.
Más Belt is what Coach Reid needs on enchilada night.
I just saw that lovely autocorrect and I’m getting the copyright on it. That script can go many places.
Last one for me: Dr. Strangelove. I’ve seen it about a bazillion times, but I still end up reciting the lines and snickering along (MEIN FUHRER, I CAN WALK!!) until Vera Lynn sings whenever I catch it on the tube.
I’ve got a Clive Owen mancrush and it’s so hard to pick just one but I’ll go with Inside Man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtsYKoVEPOQ&ab_channel=MoviePassion
Sorry, should have clarified in the rules. ‘Inside Man’ is reserved for Buddy Cole.
You’re so cheeky!
Top Gun. I keep hoping for the alternate ending where Maverick “accidentally” shoots down Iceman after the Migs disengage.
How is the best buddy movie of all time-Midnight Run-still available?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_MSg8CyvEM&ab_channel=tyler0896
I still haven’t seen that. I am aware I need to correct this.
I’d love to give you grief but some movies just slip through the cracks somehow.
It was on ‘Netflix’, I made a note to watch it. A little later I sat down, looked it up, gone.
Back from my apparent part-time HVAC tech job, and I am taking ‘High Plains Drifter’ with my next pick.
Kinda surprised the commish let me get away with ignoring it this long.
Any of the Men In Black movies, but since I need to pick one, I’ll go with MIB International
You do need to pick one. International is off the board, all others available
Even MIB2? I just watched 3 and it surpassed my expectations, which was nice.
That was the only one without a pug. SMGDH.