We’ve all been there. It’s a rainy, (or, this summer in Connecticut, stupidly hot and very dry), Saturday, there are no decent sports ball things to watch on the teevee machine, and you’re idly flipping through channels rather than working out, reading a book, or attending to the most basic needs of human hygiene.
Also you may be drunk.
And then you flip right into it: The Movie That Must Be Watched! Everything comes to a stop while you finish this magical film you’ve stumbled upon. Doesn’t matter where it is in the film either; could be five minutes from the end, could be the opening credits. Either way, you’re their for the duration.
Today we’re drafting Movies That Must Be Finished. The genre does not matter. Could be a heist movie, could be a rom-com, (I mean, it probably shouldn’t, but it could be), could be The Blair Witch Project. A hat tip to Scotchnaut and BC Dick, whose conversation from Friday night originated this idea.
But only once the for the latter, because we all know what happens if The Blair Witch Project gets picked more than once.
Your commissioner for this week’s draft has no name, but is probably responsible for more movies that are going to grind my day to a halt, The Man With No Name, Mr. Clint Eastwood.
Although, as it turns out, he sort of does have a name. Clint. Mr. Eastwood if you’re nasty.
With the first pick, and once again as part of my running bit where I take this movie before Sharkbait can, I’ll take Kelly’s Heroes. The rest of you are on the clock.
Topical! Also, yeah, gotta see if dad wants to have a catch.
Gotdamn it, I’m a sucker for that movie.
He will be back from the store soon right?
Anything with any sort of mystery I need to see the end.
If I see Wrath O’ Khan on, I am watching until Spock heroes up and saves the day.
Time for number two( heh heh)
Reefer Madness!
Locks you in from the first scene.
Desperado.
It would be inconceivable to pass this one up!
The Incredibles. Just fun with great design. Whenever I’m flipping through and see it on, I usually have to watch until Syndrome gets it.
Happy Gilmore
Clue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEXdWfsKZ1k
We played this in college, and still do occasionally
https://www.barnonedrinks.com/games/t/the-clue-drinking-game-391.html
I feel like that game would be more fun if each participant got a character with specific rules. And then there are of course social rules where everyone drinks.
Should’ve won multiple Oscars
I like to imagine Harold Ramis in a script meeting: “And then I hook up with Sean Young…why is everyone laughing?”
5th round I will take Slapshot. Just saw this one again a couple months back.
Alice in Wonderland
/I used to be in to psychedelics
Doesn’t have to be just psychedelics.
3. Predator.
I don’t feel like I’m drafting well today.
“I don’t feel like I’m drafting well today.”
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!
Caddyshack. It ain’t over till the golf course is blowed up & the gopher’s dancing.
Dirty Dozen
Can’t turn away from Airplane! because it would make me nervous.
Speaking of Kevin Spacey…
Notting Hill.
/duuuuuue
It’s not on TV very often any more, but when it is, I’ll watch it to the bloody end every time. (the original, not the Bruce Willis crap remake)
This is a great pick! That movie just takes holds of you and demands you watch it until the end.
Thanks! Rather obscure, but a great flick. They way they tell the story without much exposition or dialog is amazing.
Evil Dead.
That’s just pillow talk, baby
Edit: typo
Although anything with Spacey in it is a little cringy now, watching Agent Kujan figure it out in the end gets me every time.
Bryan Singer appears to have been no angel, either.
Nope. I wonder if Kev & Bryan ever went cruising together while or after making that. Game recognizes game… Yech.
Fargo.
If it’s on right now I’ll be late getting to work.
4th round value still on the board…
John Wick.
I’ll go John Wick 2. Just non-stop action and before you know it, the movie is over.
Folks, I must take my leave for a few hours. My mother has called, and it seems she has purchased an air conditioner and needs to have someone put it in the window. My choice is either to do this myself, or pay someone to do it. Rather than let a stranger into my mother’s house I am going to drive an hour each way and do it myself.
Is today Monday? Yes. Is my mother aware that I have a job? Yes. Are there 2 days left in a 7 day heat wave? Yes. Have I already put one other AC in her house for just this reason? Yes. Could this have been done on any of the prior three days, all of which I had off? Also yes. Was it? HAHAHA, don’t be silly. Of course it wasn’t.
Be good. Don’t steal any of my picks.
Go take care of Mom. We’ll try not to burn the place down.
Meanwhile, at the clubhouse…
Given that he’s already there, why didn’t she ask Coach Belichick to do it?
GrumblegrumblegonnaairconditioningwhenImdonegrumble
My mom doesn’t play for the Patriots, Rikki.
/Vince and Justin are gonna sue the shit out of us.
I was late to the party with the whole Justin Halpern’s mom business but I’ve very much enjoyed what I’ve seen.
This is heavy.
2. Dead Poets Society
Heat.
The chasing around next to the airport at the end is gold.
The whole movie is superb start to finish.
“Cuz she’s got a great ass! And you got your head right up it!!”
Love the gun fight, all-timer in movies, but any movie where Al Pacino beats up Henry Rollins is not a movie I can take seriously.
At the risk of setting Redshirt’s war room on fire, again, with the 3rd pick I will get first round value with
If I’d gotten here earlier it would be a pick of mine.
Castaway.
Just find it oddly compelling.
Same
The Mummy With Brendan Fraser. NOT that Tom Cruise crap. And really the whole Mummy franchise, but will save those for my next picks
Nothing will ever top the 1932 and 1959 versions.
not sure i’ve seen either, but not sure how often they are on
The 1932 one is always on TCM around Halloween.
“We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!”
(back to Redshirt’s War Room)
“Look if you guys are gonna be complaining after every other pick, I’m gonna sign out and go to work!”
AHAHAHAHAHA
“GO TO WORK”
Like that’s gonna happen
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: Already should be required viewing every Holiday season.
Clark Freaks Out – Christmas Vacation (9/10) Movie CLIP (1989) HD – YouTube
See, I go Vegas Vacation. That one cracks me up and features the hottest Audrey.
I like Vegas Vacation, too. Its not as good as Christmas Vacation or the first one, but its way better than European Vacation.
Also, even though I haven’t seen it, I’ll still swear on a signed affidavit that its extremely better than the latest remake.
.
Pulp Fiction.
Every single time.
We interrupt today’s DFO Mock Draft for an update on Joe Burrow’s recovery and a reaction from the Bengals fandom.
Joe Burrow’s dad says Bengals star QB could still be out a few more weeks following surprising appendectomy – CBSSports.com
We now return you the Mock Draft, already in progress.
Third round talent
That’s a great movie. My only problem with it in this draft is that I can never stumble across it. But it’s an all-timer, and I think should be required viewing in law schools.
This was one that I literally stumbled across years ago and had to watch it all the way through. Then I had to watch it again to get the early part I missed.
Unless there’s a fire, if I stumble on this one I’m pretty much guaranteed to be finishing it.
(in the Redshirt War Room)
“Look we all knew this wouldn’t last into the 2nd Round. Everyone quick your bitching and get back to work!”
The Blues Brothers: Its already required viewing in my family when they become of age to appreciate it, so should be required viewing here. Not to mention its becoming uncomfortably relevant in today’s time.
The Blues Brothers 106 miles to Chicago – YouTube
EDIT: After rewatching the scene, I removed the “I hate Illinois nazis” link due to possible hateful slurs. However, if the mods are okay, I can repost.
Slurs ain’t nothin’ but words, kid.
/shoots four white guys wearing redface
Sure hope those were blanks
Something something Alec Baldwin
Thanks for the understanding and supporting my Second Amendment Rights:
Guns serve a valuable purpose to the American people…to shoot stupid, racist persons in the face.
The Martian. Its become a running joke with OrangeJello. If I tell her I’m watching a movie when she calls, she asks, “What channel is The Martian on?”
1. Risky Business
Just so I can get to the part where his dad reports that the interviewer told him “Princeton could use a guy like Joel.”
This is an excellent pick. Sometimes I see it in the listings and I purposefully avoid it because I know I don’t have the time to watch the whole thing.
2nd round to honor my, way too much time spent in central Africa.
The Big Lebowski, especially when Donny is out of his element and/or in the Ralph’s coffee can.
“THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MEET A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!”
If youse had cable TV sometime in the last 25 years, the is only one choice: Coming to America.
Sexual Chocolate!!!
The Thing (John Carpenter version)
“And Windows, where were you?!”
“Palmer, I told you to shut the fuck up!”
Friday After Next
My first round pick. The whole series is good but this one sums it up well.
Currying favoUr with the commish…
Unforgiven
Because Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.
An excellent pick.