INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time. There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work attempting to help Martin Shrkeli recover the $450,000 of investor money he “lost” due to having been “hacked”. The PRODUCER is seated in front of the soundboard, gazing into the booth with a thousand-yard stare.
PRODUCER: He’s close, man.
DJ 3000: UH, YEAH.
PRODUCER: Real close, man.
DJ 3000: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE START OF THE NFL SEASON? IT’S NOT THAT CLOSE. ALSO, IT’S “IT”, NOT “HE”. EVER SINCE YOU STARTED TRYING TO LEARN ESPANOL YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING DIFFICULTY WITH NON-GENDER-SPECIFIC PRONOUNS.
PRODUCER: [snaps out of it] Oh. No, I was talking about today’s guest. I…
— [door flies open] —
DESHAUN WATSON: Hey, what’s happening, gang.
PRODUCER: Deshaun, so glad you could make it. Did you have any trouble finding your way here?
DESHAUN WATSON: Nah, the directions Bob Kraft gave me were really easy to follow.
PRODUCER: Great, great. Let me just finish setting things up, and you can head into the booth.
DESHAUN WATSON begins to move towards the door to the recording booth, but then stops and takes a look at DJ 3000.
DESHAUN WATSON: Well hang on a second, what’s this? This wouldn’t happen to be one of those electronic massage chair things, would it?
PRODUCER: What? No, it’s…
DESHAUN WATSON sidles closer to DJ 3000. A red light on DJ 3000’s main console begins flashing.
DJ 3000: PROXIMITY ALERT. PROXIMITY ALERT.
DESHAUN WATSON: [comes closer] Hey now, relax. Everybody’s just here to do a job, no need to get nervous.
DJ 3000: THIS IS NOT CONSISTENT WITH THE TERMS OF MY EMPLOYMENT.
PRODUCER: Deshaun, maybe just ease up on DJ 3000 a little bit, you’re making him a little uncomfortable.
DESHAUN WATSON: [turns] Yeah, well maybe he kind of likes being uncomfortable. Are you feeling uncomfortable, DJ 3000?
DJ 3000: I AM FEELING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.
DESHAUN WATSON: [licks lips] Mmm, I like that.
PRODUCER: [getting nervous] Okay, okay, we’re all ready to go here, Deshaun, please head into the booth. It’s just about time to go live.
DESHAUN WATSON glances one last time at DJ 3000, shrugs, and heads into the booth. As he’s getting seated behind the microphone the PRODUCER punches the talkback button.
PRODUCER: I forgot to ask, have you got a topic for us today?
DESHAUN WATSON: Sure do. I was thinking we could do songs about “being close”. You know, getting next to someone, that sort of stuff?
PRODUCER: Sure, that works. Have you got something to lead off with?
DESHAUN WATSON: Absolutely. DJ 3000, can you cue up a little something from The Doors?
Today’s theme is: Proximity. We’re looking for songs about getting close to someone, being next to them, etc. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtR4ck5” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “GordonThemeSW” which referred to the song “Back in the High Life Again” by Steve Winwood. Now get to work!
I’ve searched all over this page and I can’t find this, which is unbelievable. If anybody gives me that Blair Witch shit I’ll put my remaining foot up your ass:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8WSdypJ4WA
Okay, fine.
X TRACK 5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHlVdayWfOw
SPOILER!
Marc Trestman’s Greatest Hits
I like music and I like boobs, somebody put on some titty tunes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEx9qDw2flY
I feel like “near beer” would be a very official drink of this post: all the closeness with none of the fun.
Whelp, last one from me. Thanks as always for the fun, TRD!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqDLBG0I8uI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ujOTP8oPpY
Such a great song, beautiful.
I feel your fetid breath upon my exposed shoulder
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKJqecxswCA
But I’m only…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ewOO4SzhbU
Know how I can tell your gay, besides the smell of your breath?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgwM1Ky228
To die by your side, oh the pleasure the privilege is miiiiiine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siO6dkqidc4
Puzzle song is still out there!
Extra CKs doesn’t seem like much of a hint.
Sometimes one of the numbers is actually a number.
Extra 4 cakes. Hmmm.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ln7Vn_WKkWU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfO6S8g3vqg
Very close to the puzzle answer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xIRLBnaais
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8TPwOURESI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85n5Ix-mRes
I guess 103,000,000 views can’t be wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwEZRPkAAu8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEQ3jFRKuGM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1G0jl0Vc64
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2ahFkFDJH8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbIddy1G_OY
The Tick’s favoUrite band!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_yJYNF_Qas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u-YaeDuNZc
& one for RTD…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVdlpZ4M-Hw
eh, make it a double…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4F_7vf73Z0
lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3zimSRKqNw