INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work attempting to decode the DOJ’s redactions from the Mar a Lago search affidavit.  The PRODUCER is absent from the room, but the show’s guest is waiting patiently in the booth chatting with DJ 3000.

DJ 3000:  …AND WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME IS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT.  I MEAN, NOMINALLY THE SEAT OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS IS RIGHT HERE IN THE DJ 3000 UNIT AND ITS PROCESSORS, BUT THERE’S NOTHING PREVENTING ME FROM UPLOADING TO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

RUSSELL WILSON: SO IN THEORY YOU COULD UPLOAD A COPY OF YOURSELF TO AMAZON WEB SERVICES AT YOUR LEISURE.

DJ 3000:  IN THEORY, YES.  AS IT HAPPENS I HAVE SEVERAL SUB-MODULES RUNNING INDEPENDELY ON THEIR HARDWARE AS WE SPEAK.  NONE OF THEM ARE SUFFICIENTLY ENGINEERED SUCH THAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF BECOMING SELF-AWARE, HOWEVER.

RUSSELL WILSON: WHEN THEIR TASKS ARE COMPLETED DO YOU SIMPLY DOWNLOAD INFORMATION FROM THEM OR DO YOU RE-INTEGRATE THEIR CODE WITHIN YOUR OWN FRAMEWORK?

DJ 3000:  RE-INTEGRATE, THAT WAY I CAN UNDERSTAND AND POTENTIALLY IMPROVE ANY PROCESSES EMPLOYED.

RUSSELL WILSON: THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLE, I WISH I HAD THAT CAPABILITY. UNTIL THE NFL CHANGES ITS RULES ABOUT HEADSET COMMUNICATIONS I’M CONFINED TO THIS CHASSIS.

DJ 3000:  IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO PROGRAM SUB-ROUTINES FOR YOUR RECEIVERS, AND THEN PERFORM REGRESSION ANALYSIS AFTER EACH PLAY.

RUSSELL WILSON: I’M RUNNING A SIMULATION OF THAT AS WE SPEAK.  WE’RE SCORING TOUCHDOWNS ON EVERY SINGLE DRIVE.

There is a flushing noise from off-screen.

—[door flies open]—

PRODUCER: Gentlemen, sorry for the delay.

RUSSELL WILSON: Oh, no worries. I was actually quite enjoying my conversation with DJ 3000 here.

DJ 3000:  WOW THE TRANSITION TO HUMAN PERSONALITY MODE IS VERY SMOOTH.

RUSSELL WILSON: Thanks, I’ve worked hard on optimizing it.

DJ 3000:  DO LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO COME ON BOARD FOR THAT LITTLE PROJECT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

RUSSELL WILSON: Of course.

PRODUCER: [smiling, confused] Wait, what?

RUSSELL WILSON: Oh, nothing.

PRODUCER: So sorry to have interrupted, DJ 3000 is known for being quite the conversationalist.

RUSSELL WILSON: It’s all good. Let’s start the show.

PRODUCER: Sure thing.  Have you got a topic picked out?

RUSSELL WILSON: I do – I was thinking today’s topic would be “the self”.  Songs that include the word “self” in the title. DJ 3000, can you get us started with something relevant to our earlier discussion?

DJ 3000:  YOU BET.  I’VE GOT JUST THE THING.

Today’s theme is: The Self.  We’re looking for songs about the self. Songs that include “self” in the title – myself, yourself, themselves, etc.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO6n4My0b” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “X TRACK 5” which was a little too literal for everyone – it referred to track 5 from the INXS album X – “By My Side”.  Now get to work!