INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time. There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work attempting to decode the DOJ’s redactions from the Mar a Lago search affidavit. The PRODUCER is absent from the room, but the show’s guest is waiting patiently in the booth chatting with DJ 3000.
DJ 3000: …AND WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME IS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. I MEAN, NOMINALLY THE SEAT OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS IS RIGHT HERE IN THE DJ 3000 UNIT AND ITS PROCESSORS, BUT THERE’S NOTHING PREVENTING ME FROM UPLOADING TO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
RUSSELL WILSON: SO IN THEORY YOU COULD UPLOAD A COPY OF YOURSELF TO AMAZON WEB SERVICES AT YOUR LEISURE.
DJ 3000: IN THEORY, YES. AS IT HAPPENS I HAVE SEVERAL SUB-MODULES RUNNING INDEPENDELY ON THEIR HARDWARE AS WE SPEAK. NONE OF THEM ARE SUFFICIENTLY ENGINEERED SUCH THAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF BECOMING SELF-AWARE, HOWEVER.
RUSSELL WILSON: WHEN THEIR TASKS ARE COMPLETED DO YOU SIMPLY DOWNLOAD INFORMATION FROM THEM OR DO YOU RE-INTEGRATE THEIR CODE WITHIN YOUR OWN FRAMEWORK?
DJ 3000: RE-INTEGRATE, THAT WAY I CAN UNDERSTAND AND POTENTIALLY IMPROVE ANY PROCESSES EMPLOYED.
RUSSELL WILSON: THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLE, I WISH I HAD THAT CAPABILITY. UNTIL THE NFL CHANGES ITS RULES ABOUT HEADSET COMMUNICATIONS I’M CONFINED TO THIS CHASSIS.
DJ 3000: IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO PROGRAM SUB-ROUTINES FOR YOUR RECEIVERS, AND THEN PERFORM REGRESSION ANALYSIS AFTER EACH PLAY.
RUSSELL WILSON: I’M RUNNING A SIMULATION OF THAT AS WE SPEAK. WE’RE SCORING TOUCHDOWNS ON EVERY SINGLE DRIVE.
There is a flushing noise from off-screen.
—[door flies open]—
PRODUCER: Gentlemen, sorry for the delay.
RUSSELL WILSON: Oh, no worries. I was actually quite enjoying my conversation with DJ 3000 here.
DJ 3000: WOW THE TRANSITION TO HUMAN PERSONALITY MODE IS VERY SMOOTH.
RUSSELL WILSON: Thanks, I’ve worked hard on optimizing it.
DJ 3000: DO LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO COME ON BOARD FOR THAT LITTLE PROJECT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
RUSSELL WILSON: Of course.
PRODUCER: [smiling, confused] Wait, what?
RUSSELL WILSON: Oh, nothing.
PRODUCER: So sorry to have interrupted, DJ 3000 is known for being quite the conversationalist.
RUSSELL WILSON: It’s all good. Let’s start the show.
PRODUCER: Sure thing. Have you got a topic picked out?
RUSSELL WILSON: I do – I was thinking today’s topic would be “the self”. Songs that include the word “self” in the title. DJ 3000, can you get us started with something relevant to our earlier discussion?
DJ 3000: YOU BET. I’VE GOT JUST THE THING.
Today’s theme is: The Self. We’re looking for songs about the self. Songs that include “self” in the title – myself, yourself, themselves, etc. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO6n4My0b” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “X TRACK 5” which was a little too literal for everyone – it referred to track 5 from the INXS album X – “By My Side”. Now get to work!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9wOoKvIfPQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k7utsLXkzs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_eCpOe6kxU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6sDyAjCfoA
Aw yeah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3-oZk-eOzY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX0PVlErMhI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oVoKpxPimM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8xMLzvMrrY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ_fceVW_30
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqSmJYbsOIU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aditQ5q2EEQ&list=RDaditQ5q2EEQ&start_radio=1
I’m going to wait until the Night Thread goes live as not to derail the TOONAGE, but, holy hell, are the Fightin’ Horatios FUUUUUUCCCKKKKED.
Referring to the Yankees, UConn, or Northeast Gay Men’s Chorale?
I mean, they’re only fucked if you assume they had a chance to win in the first place.
The defensive coordinator left town two weeks ago and the head coach just gave in interview about how he lives in a haunted house but its cool, because they’re good ghosts, so suffice it to say my expectations are low.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlHg2uMNM7w
Turns out there is a song called ‘Got Yourself A Gun’ by noted rapper…(checks notes)…Nas?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YeqD04IcRU
Imagine a middle-aged white guy in rural CT not knowing that right off the top of his balding head!
Never knew this was a Dusty Springfield remake until today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88re1awZ9MQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dfRSXVwKxM
Peter Gabriel’s a damn weirdo (nawt an insult)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yEcTB2va5E&ab_channel=TheImplosiveduck
I figure you have to be in pretty close proximity to Eileen to pull this off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BODDyZRF6A
please refresh to discover happy fun new theme thank you
Those are a lot of words and I’ve read enough for today, thank you.
Alternate band name: We Like Speed
‘Like’ is really underselling it with them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teFMCFe6Tag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpNw7jYkbVc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oZElPmm1Ug
Apparently the name of this song is ‘Woke Up This Morning’ but I choose to call it ‘Got Yourself A Gun’ so I can force it into this draft regardless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJpNmYeooQE
With that kind of grit and determination I’m sure to get a tryout as the next punter for the Bills.
You have two legs and you haven’t forced yourself on anyone. I think you’ve got this!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12wqGLc4B4Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgZ0PWb-IBA
DFO Theme Song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZ_UId3nDn8&ab_channel=thebluelight
That’s us!
Why didn’t they ever tour with The Stones?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtzIWPeun7c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhwLPL7lkTA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZfiaJCAV5A
The spirit of tWBS compells you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8VXnvbc1c0
I found myself wondering what advice he would have for Fronk…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOVGlghiqNk
Subject is bad. Tune is catchy!
https://youtu.be/g3dtqx-Wf5s
This one is truly dreadful. I am ashame.
https://youtu.be/EzoazPPC7b8
Y’know whose really dreadful? The Blair Witch.
Fuck!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxXyKY7L1lM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBFXFzqIjHM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtx5NTxebJk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9mJW71pTyw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBkmtz1tz0I
Okay, you folks have had your chance.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j13o0NImwYM
“Hey, I detect masturbatory overtones”
?w=865&h=485&crop=1&resize=450%2C253
FUCK Billy Idol with a rusted crowbar.
Show us on the doll where Billy touched you.
It’s not a doll it’s an idol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP1wtIfs8lg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UBybyWi2Bw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBedC0qH2mk
An oldie. I too, am an oldie!
https://youtu.be/7IsjqR1IlvE
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GGGQ0a2IT68
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BW8Z4Vybz0U
“I’d rather be all alone than spend time with some filthy, illiterate immigrant.”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=69Z5ZPtx4Yc
Nobody wants to hang with him!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM
Yes! I was just about to post this one, but I was busy touching myself!
just like the rest of us ( touching ourselves)
…except that GG touches herself like a f*cking Lady
Hearing this in my car a few days ago was actually the inspiration for the topic.
but not the puzzle song? haha
There it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH-scIRAl-Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aBHGMW00gQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFQio0y1XZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGDHfov_cwc
This might be my favorite song of theirs. Although there’s a lot of competition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsLfa9RsV9Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn2jOhcMbbY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gphz_5PEHsk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDKkjZgwMGs
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u31FO_4d9TY
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GsVcUzP_O_8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtNZnhxWLHo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eU64yyVzRRg
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LxbdokUI8y0
Whoops, sorry I forgot to update the instructions blurb. Here’s an example of what we’re looking for today.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RP0_8J7uxhs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8-9mY-JACM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN9CjAfo5n0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2bcUxUOUQg
“Today’s theme is: Proximity. We’re looking for songs about getting close to someone, being next to them, etc.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5uk6wid0qg
The Dr. Mrs. distracted me because she wanted me to evaluate potential hairstyles for her in advance of her trip to the salon. Me, a guy who has been cutting his own hair with clippers for the last 10 years.
Urg. I hate being “fashion consultant”. I mean, the Good Mrs. Reefer knows I am an inveterate slob with no fashion sense whatsoever, yet…
Anyhoo, just pick one out for her…
?w=980&q=75
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgwM1Ky228
Sure, I’ll throw something up there
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFx-5PGLgb4
Damnit, this is what I get for hanging around with a bunch of people suffering from Korsakoff Syndrome.