Sadly, our first shite International Break is upon us, so one can sleep in until noon (unless one has work to catch up on all weekend like I do, over footy but fucking still, UGH).  A full Saturday before NFL Week 1 would have been superb, but alas.  To the fixtures we go:

Mississippi State at Kansas State (Noon, ESPN)

This is quite the quality opener, especially for early September.  We don’t often see the Cowbells in a marquee OOC road contest, but kudos to them for having the balls (hee hee, Jackie Sherrill callback) to visit the ultimate trap game artists, the Unded Bill Snyders.  I mean, FFS, it’s already named the Bill Snyder Family Stadium.

Arizona at Houston (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)

Bear Down FOAR Midterms lost at home to the Stormin’ Mormons last week, now travels east (not that much) to play what would be a 9:00 am start for them, local time.  Yikes.  JV Yoooooouston’s QB’s first name is D’Eriq, which is fucking hilarious.

Duke at Northwestern (Noon, ESPNU)

Again, NEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDs!  Oh HAI there, snow!

UCLA at Oklahoma (1:00, Fox)

Supposedly, the Bruins’ home opener v. Cincy was the easiest game on their schedule.  They lost.  Westwood denizens may want to lube up.

Georgia at South Carolina (3:30 CBS)

The SEC opener is finally here, OMFG!  Does it still mean MOAR?  Like ’em or loathe ’em, they really came good in their test games Week 1 (Johnny Reb beating Guns Up!, Aubie edging Washington, and most importantly LSU walloping favoured Miami).  That showing likely ensures the perennial “SEC slot” in the playoffs, though again, all the good work came from the SEC West, and this is an SEC East/Least matchup.  So it could be a bit derpy.

Iowa State at Iowa (5:00, Fox)

These teams tend to live in the 6-6/7-5 range, but rivalry matchups tend to be fun, and this is no exception.  Plus this viewing window is more than a bit sparse.

Clemson at Texas A&M (7:00, ESPN)

TAMU is clearly in rebuild mode, but they’ve always had talent and this is probably the best shot we have at someone stopping Team Jeebus Camp (trust me, FSU ain’t doing it).  Jimbo is a moe-ron, but he is at least familiar with the Tiggers.  Who knows.

Wyoming at Missouri (7:00, ESPNU)

Come for the ugly uniforms…stay for the ugly uniforms.

Southern Cal at Stanford (8:30, Fox)

The Trees always save their best footy for the Irish and Troi Boiz, so this match is totes nap-worthy, as needed/if 3:30 window circumstances warrant.  This should also be Gus Johnson territory.  PURE!

Michigan State at Arizona State (10:45, ESPN)

Tweakers AHOY!  How good was that nap, anyway?  You get upset-primed Sparty (should have lost to Utah State last Friday), coeds, and Herm Fucking Edwards playing to win teh game!  What more could you ask for?