Today we’re starting the work week the right way, getting dressed in out snazziest gear and then blowing off what we’re supposed to be doing and drafting best sportsball uniforms. That’s it.
Rules are simple: Is it a team? Do they have a uniform? Do you like that uniform? Then you can draft it. Please specify home, away, or (if you’re going Lesser Footy), third option. Can be pro, semi-pro, amateur. Hell, take a Little League uni if you’re feeling particularly Sanduskyish.
Your commissioner for this draft is the one an only Tim Gunn, fashion guy.
With the first pick I take the obvious one for me, the greatest use of negative space, the Hartford Whalers old school green away jerseys.
Fuckin’ beauty, eh?
The rest of you are on the clock.
How are the Dallas Cowboys home uniforms still on the board? They are pretty unique with the mismatched colors.
1. Oakland/Los Angeles/Oakland/Las Vegas Raiders
Oh – regular traditional home uniforms, black jersey.
You mean these as selected by blaxabbath?
RTD can’t quit me.
Can’t believe this is still on the board, probably my very favorite football jersey-the 80’s Chargers.
Not the powder blues?
They’re fantastic as well but this is my preference.
Powder blues 4eva!
Ohio State Buckeyes Home Uniform (current)
Like Blax said, the best uniforms are the simplest ones. You can show uniqueness and originality, but nothing too much that draws attention to the uniforms and away from the team and players.
Well yeah that’s what I said. But the, “except for THE tOSU; those assclowns can suck it,” is always implied.
I always assumed that implied on every one of your posts.
Example:
“The mother survived the plane crash and the baby survived the emergency cesarean section on the helicopter ride despite being three months premature and flying though the hurricane eyeball. Both are expected to survive. We are truly blessed, except for THE tOSU; those assclowns can suck it.”
I must emphasize this is not a pick, but what in God’s name kind of acid were they taking in Vancouver in 1978?
Tribute to First Ugly Nations?
This is a pick.
Save your logos, patches, and nods to the host city. This is what a football uniform should look like.
What, the Bengals?
Gimmicks sans Super Bowl.
Hey, I gave you the +1!
I’LL FIGHT ANYBODY!
Commissioner, sir, since he didn’t specify can we assume he meant the Bengals uniform, and my pick is not a Haxan Films Production? Sir? Sir?
The Reds St. Patrick’s Day jerseys are always a favorite.
Found a good Florida thing.
What, and I cannot emphasize this enough, the fuck?
I think I can taste the jersey just by the picture.
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries
My current favorite NBA jersey. And I’m not even a Clippers fan.
These make me want to play GTA San Andreas.
Kansas City Scouts, who begat the Colorado Rockies (ice version), who begat the New Jersey Devils.
There’s a lot going on here.
My only pick given this category
STEAL OF THE DRAFT!
Marcel Dionne rocking the Kings “Forum Purple and Gold” look.
This seems…familiar. Like a project of some sort…
Can a beanie be a uniform?
Nope. No Blair Witch on this one. The initial Kings pick was the solid purple jersey from the Forum times. These have gold shoulders and gold trim along the bottom. The trim makes the outfit, and the difference!
YEAH SUCK IT JERKS
The Killer Bees!!!
Sexay! Here’s my final pick, heading up to Big Bear
Bon Voyage!
I think it was these uni’s that finally drove Antonio Brown over the brink of insanity.
They’re certainly testing my sanity!
That’s why I love them so much…
This is the throw back to the 1999/2000 Toronto Rock jersery’s. I can’t find a better pic and too lazy to keep looking, So you get the one of me wearing it. It’s been customised to have the team captain at the time name and number on the back. He’s one of my favoUrite players
/there’s no unseeing things
// the logo is huge and it kinda feels like I’m wearing a breast plate as it’ doesn’t bend much
I do have a couple of hockey jerseys and you’re right about the breast plate feeling of the logo. Annoying as hell.
The mid-90s-to-early-2000s WVU home uniforms, before Nike opened their coke-fueled designs.
These are a classic
Bruins home uniform is wonderful
I have a soft spot for the minor league Montgomery Biscuits.
The magnificent derpiness!
“What a coincidence I have a soft spot for biscuits too!” – Coach Reid, pointing at his tummy
Now batting for the Bears….number 12…shortstop…Tanner Boyle….Boyle.
I have a soft spot for the Pens baby blues. This one is from the 2011 Winter Classic
Minnesota Fighting Saints. Saw them play when I was a young ‘un.
I know that there’s a fuck-tonne of baggage with this pick and I’m going to fully acknowledge that all that stuff done there was/is horrible and not enough was done, but I’ve always liked the simplicity of the Penn State football unis
image from wikipedia.
good disclaimer
Sir. I say, Sir!
Gumby likes those too.
The 1992 Lithuania men’s Olympic basketball team unis for the story alone.
The Grateful Dead allowed them to license and sell their “Dead” themed gear to help raise money to get the team to the Olympics where they won a bronze medal!
Did I own a replica jersey?
You already know the answer to that.
I got the t-shirt. I couldn’t not.
Likewise.
The jerseys are fine, admirable even. But those shorts are an affront to God and Man!
Simplicity. Perfection. Belíssimo.
Nice!
The Bears road gear. Clean, simple, and other than occasionally pairing it with the white pants, never changes.
They’re great, other than having to watch the Bears “play” “football” in them
Bears, you say? Hmmmm.
I’m no fan of the White Sox, (owned by Jerry Reinsdorf and managed by 77-year-old Tony LaRussa? What could go right?), but these uniforms are solid.’
No shorts?
Those are…uniforms, yes.
That man did not skip leg day.
I always loved those unis.
White Sox have a couple of good ones.
The one with the shorts is not one of them.
Ashli Babbit is trending on Twitter but don’t worry, she’s still dead.
Former Arizona CoyotesHouston Aeros bomber jerseyThe New York Yankee home pinstripes look is an unchanging, unfeeling beast most years. But in the mid-to-late 70s, you could get away with the scruffy-hair, mustachioed, high-stirrup sock look that lent the perfect Ramones-ey “fuck you” sneer to a historically regimented look, and complemented the personality of those teams perfectly.
I dug these
Great pick!
Stampede?
The original Kings sweaters from the Forum days:
They were definitely on my draft board.
With the Artemis launch being delayed, have any of you ever been to a launch? I was thinking I’d grab blaxito for a flight to FL this weekend to see it if it goes Monday. How big of a to-do is it to see the launch within like a good distance?
Respectfully,
The Attorney Representing the Challenger Crew
I haven’t seen a launch but I’ve seen 2 space shuttle landings at Edwards and both were incredible. Always wanted to see a launch too.
I went to several space shuttle launches at Cape Canaveral. One was at night, which was really cool. There was a small beach nearby that was restricted to military people that had spectacular views. We were so close that your whole body would vibrate. It’s unbelievably powerful!
If you do go, I think I can speak for everyone here in that a BOTG would be fascinating.
Did you know that there is an alternate World Cup?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CONIFA_World_Football_Cup
CONIFA is for groups that claim nation status while not being recognized as nations, and they have a tournament to, I don’t know, feel something I guess. One of those groups is the Chagos islanders, (and by the way, if you don’t hate the British enough already, go ahead and look that little story up), and the Chagos kits are straight fire.
Free Diego Garcia!
Dear Jesus, just read the wiki.
Right? Jesus Christ.
Whitey Takes a Trip? I’m sure it will be a lovely read.
More like ‘Whitey makes everyone else take a trip”
Pat. Fucking. Patriot.
They should be forced to go back to this uniform.
Especially since they’re about to suck like they did back when they wore them.
2012 Netherlands Field Hockey
Yeah. “For the uniforms.”
Didn’t see me mention any other uni and all the players look like that.
Bold move being the first to take a high school team.
And a JV one too!
Oh yeah?! Would a high school team be stoked share a venue with a college club team?!
https://arenadigest.com/2022/08/05/arizona-coyotes-outline-plans-for-tempe-games/
As much of a joke that situation is, I’ll bet watching a game there will be all kinds of awesome
Hundreds of people annually may agree.
Imagine stepping into the box a looking out at Satchel Paige staring you down wearing this bad boy:
2nd pick (last hockey one for a bit I promise)
The USA U18 and U20 teams kill it with jerseys every year, and the top national team continues to miss the bar every damn time.
What’s wrong with continued hockey jerseys? I mean they are the best sport jersey in general.
Touche.
Expos road jerseys from the 80s. Look at that commitment to translating the hat to the helmet. And whose mind wasn’t blown when they found out that logo had like 4 different meanings?!
Best Fulham kit. Plus includes shame pizza!
Good god, man.
Sabres, 1999 Home.
Brett Hull intensifies
There are many reasons to despise the Glazer clan, (waits patiently for Wakezilla to unfurl 1,000 page screed on behalf on ManUre), but for me their greatest sin is refusing to bring back the Bucco Bruce Creamsicles.
Quality pick
Stunned it was still available after I went Whalers with the first pick.
Shock of shocks:
The diagonal letter look is always a classic, and the look has been relatively unchanged (save for a couple seasons in the 70s where they had the logo, but we dont discuss those sweaters).
Does it come with a milkshake?
(or smoothie, whatever)
“we dont discuss those sweaters”
or 70’s fashion in general. (shudders) Simply hideous!
Keeping with my red, white, and blue, late 70s/80s Cubs T-shirt style jerseys with pinstripes. Who needs buttons?
Here’s Wolven Sort legend Jacoby Brissett, sporting the black jersey with red block S helmet. Me gusta (this is very much a minority opinion amongst my lupine ppls)
Sir, while I appreciate your determination to make your draft work, I must point out that you have taken two picks without first waiting a) ten picks or b) one half-hour.
The NC State pick is voided, in the unlikely event that anyone was ever going to take that particular uniform anyway.
Road navy uniforms, Donks WOO!!!!
Hippo haz a Chubb!
There are so many soccer uniforms to choose from. However, I’ll start this off with a classic:
Pittsburgh Steelers of the 70s (home version)
Perfection!
1992 US Men’s Basketball
And not just to counter Fronk’s pick
It’s a great pick. I guess my only point would be the faces behind those USA unis were world renowned, while (until they exploded all over the NHL) the Soviets were just a bunch of unpronounceable names and faces we’d never seen. But if they hit the ice wearing that red sweater, you knew they could demolish anything in front of them like an unsmiling, joyless version of the Harlem Globetrotters.
I would also point out that none of the guys wearing the CCCP unis went to Duke, so point Soviets.
I don’t think any other uniform filled an opponent with a sense of impending doom as much as this one:
1993 Penguins third jerseys:
Love, love, LOVE the diagonal lettering on the front.
Isn’t that the year they lost to the Islanders?