Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do [in bed]
Sarah Ban Breathnach.

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Went with 4 straight bets, Lions win NFC North, Falcons win NFC South, Eagles win NFC champs, Bengals win it all.
Doktor Zymm

If I win all 4, my $40 becomes $745
Doktor Zymm

And to think, that $40 could have kept your hands warm for a few minutes instead.
Mr. Ayo

It was $40 in paper bills, so that momentary warmth probably came with monkey pox, MRSA, and who knows what else
Doktor Zymm

This is what else. At least for the dudes

Gumbygirl

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Also contemplating stupid NFL futures bets. I’m not willing to go stupider than “Eagles win the NFC championship”
Doktor Zymm

Jaguras win AFC South 50-1

Josh McDaniels win Coach of the Year 150-1

DFO goes Public 50000-1

The Rest of the World Fully Understands HippoSPEEK by Week 10 OFF
WCS

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SUDDEN DRAMATIC TURNAROUND
Recovery Whiskey

SUDDEN NON-DRAMATIC CHANGE!

(flag and VAR pending)
Mr. Ayo

Sharkbait

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Preseason football is just awful.

“Hey, who wants to see the guy who’ll be delivering your Fed Ex package next week try to make a tackle!?”
Horatio Cornblower

I know I was schedule to make the tackle on Tuesday, but now the projected tackle date is next Thursday, and don’t trust that until you get an ‘out for tackle’ notif
Doktor Zymm

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How was Aaron Hernandez not the highest drafted tight end
Recovery Whiskey

There were concerns about his character.

Hard to believe, I know.
Horatio Cornblower

Pats Scouting Report:

“Incredible athlete, good hands, sub 4.5 speed, might commit murder in the future, might not. I don’t know. Probably should take a chance, IDK. Has anger issues-could kill someone. Great value in the later rounds. Did I mention he might be a murderer? Runs great routes-might be a difference-maker. Give him a sharp knife in camp-see what happens. Great run after the catch ability. Did I mention he might kill someone? Otherwise, he’s a great kid.”
scotchnaut

He ended up even higher, at least a few feet off the ground.
SonOfSpam

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August 22, 2022 8:13 pm
I always liked it when KSK (and DFO) game threads would list the TV channels that games were available on. Those threads were usually my only guide to game broadcasts, because even Googling can be awful because the SEO algorithms would always direct me into a blizzard of fucking ads instead of just answering my goddam query.

tl;dr – what channel is this on?
Brick Meathook

ESPN.

Do you want us to look up the channel number for your area and provider, too?
Mr. Ayo

I need you to turn the TV on and adjust the volume as well. There’s some cheddar popcorn in the kitchen; you can go ahead and bring that to me too. Thanks, and I’d appreciate it if you could speed it up a bit.
Brick Meathook

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Olamide Zaccheaus is

a.) The leader of the Roman Lost Legion

b.) a wide receiver

c.) a dish from northern Nigeria

d.) a savvy detective character from a new book from Jasper Fforde

e.) the lead singer in the new hottest band “Equus”

f.) the latest addition to the Periodic Table
scotchnaut

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This is such a weird season for me. I have zero desire to give a shit about the Browns due to the whole “Let’s employ a serial rapists instead of a QB, who while really irritating, just got hurt last season” and I have managed to miss all of the draft and the preseason.

I literally have no idea what week of preseason we are on. I’m not sure I care.

Its amazing. The 1-31 two seasons didn’t do this to me. I was pumped for the third season of fucking Hue Jackson.

How is it possible I miss Johnny Football?!?!?!?
JustStopDude

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Looks like I will be in Dallas for New Year’s Eve, any suggestions for what I should do?
Doktor Zymm

Leave Dallas
Brick Meathook

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Did anyone talk about the HBO max House of Dragon series last night? I just watched the first episode and it was … something.

Lots of titties and asses. Lots of blood. Lots of gore. Lots of stuff.
ballsofsteelandfury

I was unimpressed. Just not a lot of interesting characters, none who are likeable, no humor. Hopefully this is just table-setting and it will get better, but it’s not a great start.
Dunstan

I was unimpressed. Just not a lot of interesting characters, none who are likeable, no humor.

-DFO reviewed
litre_cola

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I don’t know what Master Teague thought he was doing trying to play on an NFL team anyway when he was SUPPOSED to be running my Dutch East Indies spice trading concessions
Doktor Zymm

Running YOUR Dutch East Indies spice trading? He’s supposed to be sitting in MY parlor right now to discuss this season’s pheasant hunting rules on our combined estates.
herodotus450

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I just got up to speed with what I propose we call in DFO History as “Fronkensteen’s Folly”.

Please note that I never had a serious love in my life and probably won’t. So, my advice is novice at best:

I’m don’t know exactly what you said in those emails, but even if its innocent, your wife is feeling betrayed, hurt and insecure. You’re probably going to catch some shit in the near future and have to forfeit some of the next fights. Just reenforce that your past “love” was just that, the past. Your wife, however, is your present and future.

My mother was best friends with her high school sweetheart after she was married with my father. Platonic relationships with past loves are possible, but anyone can understand why your wife is upset.

Just know that DFO is with you, 100% for support. All threads are open.

Unless your wife joins DFO, then it’ll devolve into a jury of your peers.
Redshirt

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I believe I promised you lovely people a kitten pic

Gumbygirl

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Headline: Old Man Learns The Hard Way That He’s Old-Part Infinity

Today a Mr. Scotchnaut-residence unknown-thought that he could do a 14 hour shift in the warehouse with a bad back and a bum knee. He could not. He is currently sprawled on a couch bemoaning his oldness.

/seriously, my wife had to take my shoes off for me
scotchnaut

Dear Penthouse Letters,
ballsofsteelandfury

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https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/34460423/buffalo-bills-punter-matt-araiza-two-san-diego-state-football-players-accused-gang-raping-minor-lawsuit

That’s not optimal..
WCS

31 Fan Bases: (sigh of relief)
1 Fan Base: (bangs head on table, but not for celebratory reasons)
Redshirt

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How’s this for a paragraph. From Vice:

“Zuckerberg, whose company has been blamed for enabling genocide in Myanmar because it did not bother to hire moderators who speak Burmese, for example, added that one of his life’s biggest regrets is competing on the fencing team in high school rather than wrestling”
Wakezilla

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Met a buddy of mine for drinks and dinner tonight. We demolished a raw bar seafood tower and some manhattans. It felt normal, and very much needed
Sharkbait

Lotsa gay pornos start this way…good luck!
SonOfSpam

It IS sexy Friday after all
Sharkbait

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Greetings from Singapore! It’s tomorrow morning here, so I’m hanging out in the lounge for a while before entering the country and heading to the hotel. You know what’s a delicious thing to put in a grilled cheese sandwich? Pulled duck. Super tasty!
Doktor Zymm

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WCS

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On my way to Lil Duke WCS’ baby shower.

Lots of important people there. Supermarket donor Yinzer dad.
WCS

“Hi, I’m WCS. I’m the reason your bloodline is about the become that much less hemophilaicish!”
Horatio Cornblower

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I removed two spiders from the kitchen this morning and Mrs. Cornblower is now vacuuming like Mrs. Dr. Deadly, Esq. (Ret) were coming over for tea.
Horatio Cornblower

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Fuck, it’s early! How do you fuckers do this?
ballsofsteelandfury

My wife is visiting her best friend and new baby boy today at noon. I promised I’d make a ziti for the family to take with her.
Fronkenshteen

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LOOK: Ravens mascot carted off field after suffering injury during halftime of NFL preseason game – CBSSports.com

Injury Update:

BAL: Poe (Mascot) – Patella – Doubtful to Return
Redshirt

Will he be back? Quoth the Ravens- nevermore.
Gumbygirl

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Today I bought a California-legal Glock G19 Gen-3 semi-automatic pistol, chambered in 9mm parabellum, a fine addition to the small arms locker in the command center of my fortified compound.

I have to wait ten days, then I’m gonna’ pop a cap in some homie’s ass.

Well, I would if I had any bullets. I don’t even like shooting guns; I only like to disassemble, clean, and reassemble them, all the while whistling and admiring my handiwork with a self-satisfied smirk.

Pictured below: the “piece”

Brick Meathook

Take away a man’s foot and he starts amassing arms
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Awright you assholes! Which one of you got my doctor to provide a live shot of my femoral artery for the banner photo? You never heard of HIPAA?!?! You’ll be hearing from my attorney!
[holds banana to ear]
[dials air fryer]
[drums fingers impatiently]
Fronkenshteen

“Hello, Trent Green Attorney At Potato! How may I purple dishwasher you today?”
Mr. Ayo

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/checks Giants roster

Huh! The backup to Davis Webb at qb for this game is listed as “The Ghost Of Kerry Collins”.*

oddly enough, that was also the title of a Scooby-Doo episode*
scotchnaut

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Greetings from tomorrow morning! Got caught in the rain on my morning walk, and had a bunch of coffee and carbs for breakfast. Plus no meetings until like 2 am cause of the time difference, so it’s gonna be a good day!
Doktor Zymm

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Big life moment coming tonight. The training wheels come off of Deci’s bike. Will he fall? Yes. Will I stumble while running behind him? Also yes.
litre_cola

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I do love the fact that we get crazy stories of insane parties from the same person that educates us on fine wine.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here