Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between Doug Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the sixth edition of a potentially recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC!  Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.

• This post is coming to you from España!  Or rather was written partially in España and/or on a plane and/or an airport lounge and/or shortly after my return posted post-return.  Regardless, I needed a vacay bad. Now I had one. I legitimately do not understand people who “can’t wait” to get back to work after vacation. I’m very fortunate to have a great job that has meaning, and I still would rather Star Trek it and just explore or hang out ALL the time. I don’t have a point here, just reflecting on the difficulties of quieting the mind, even after a good break.
• Am I the only one under 70 that still uses the phrase “Back to the salt mines?”
• After this vacation, I can’t imagine returning to a salt mine.  Except maybe to take a tour.
• If you’re picking vacation spots, though, I highly recommend Spain. This was my fourth or fifth trip and every time it gets even better. Especially if you explore the less touristy parts.  The northern coast is fucking gorgeous, and a lot of the folks visiting Cantabria on holiday are other Spaniards. Always a great sign.  Here’s a picture of the coast, and this was just the view from my buddy’s apartment:

• I know it sounds obvious, but it felt so good to relax.  I actually unplugged (figuratively) on this trip, barely looked at my work email, read three books, sat on the beach without burning my skin, went to a museum, ate great food, drank great wine, and just generally….chillaxed.
• Shout out to Litre for the advice on Spanish wine country.  The biggest factor was choosing Rioja over Ribera del Duero, largely due to the temperature delta (as foretold by our Canuckian sommelier).  It was hot as balls when it was hot over there, so it was def the right call, and then it was just freaking awesome.
• The big shock was that the vineyards (and the hotel for that matter) didn’t have those boxes to make it easier for you to check mix and match wine in your luggage like they do in Napa.  So we only filled my suitcase with wine, cushioned with clothes and the bubble wrap the hotel gave us. Would have bought twice as much if they’d had the boxes. The wine was so relatively cheap and damn delicious. Can’t wait to go back.
• And now I present to you the most disturbing thing I saw on vacation:

• At only one euro, you can’t not afford to eat that foot.  /Rex Ryan enters the chat
• As far as travel goes, if you have to connect, Frankfort ain’t the worst place to have a layover. It’s clean and generally efficient and the lounges have beds and showers and pretzels and excellent full service bars.  I was VERY pleasantly surprised by this peated Germany whisky that somehow they do NOT sell in the goddamn German airport.
• Speaking of airport lounges, THIS is what the Germans call a “blueberry muffin”:

• Thank the Lord we won WWII.
• Also also, Spain has some random racism in places. Like from this shop in Pamplona:

• Back in ‘Murrica (and speaking of racism) this sculpture in my neighborhood makes me VERY uncomfortable:

• Didn’t help that I first noticed it after I finished reading Underground Airlines, which was a great book but also deeply disturbing, particularly given the current dynamic in this no-longer-even-thinly-veiled-racist country.
• Anyway, the post vacation glow lasted about 2 days before personnel shenanigans and other work stress came back into the fore.  Now just trying to get my shit done and thinking about where we can go next.  Seriously, even when you like your job, can’t wait to get back to work when you could travel more?  You could indeed wait.
• My fantasy football draft was last night.  I co-manage a team with my best friend, and we won the whole league last year. Since it’s a keeper league and we mortgaged the future last year, our strategy this year was to draft trade bait and potential future keepers. And let me tell you, a fantasy draft with no pressure to pick a winner this year was WAY more fun than previous years.
• I mentioned last night the ridiculousness of Calvin Ridley betting $1500 and getting twice the suspension as DeShaun Watson. Well, looks like the hits keep coming for Ridley, since he had his home broken into as part of a string of “gang-related celebrity home robberies.”  That sucks.
• In other NFL news, today is roster cut down day, Sony Michel got cut, the rumor is Josh Gordon is getting the boot from KC, and plenty more to come today.  In a glimmer of good news, WAS RB Brian Robinson has been released from the hospital.
• In my last Random Thoughts column, BeefReeferLives charitably interpreted my trailing off as a solicitation for a fill in the blank contest. Not unlike penicillin, sometimes mistakes make great accidents (and remind you to wrap it up).  So let’s try ending these columns with a participatory fill in the blank!
• Since we were on vacation, we submitted a hold mail request online, with the held mail to be delivered by our letter carrier to our house. Mail was held, mail resumed on the appointed day, accumulated mail was NOT delivered. USPS Twitter support is actually helpful (in my experience anyway) but they said I had to go to my local post officer (or LPO for those ITK, which stands for in the know). So I did that. But apparently the post office closest to my house is NOT where held mail for my zip code goes. So I went to the other one. Side note (in a long rambling lead up to a fill in the blank–i walked to the first post office, had to drive to the second). There’s like a 12 space parking lot at this post office, 30 minutes limit, post office parking only. I did NOT go during lunch time or right when they first opened. Not a spot available. Only three customers inside and the whole parking lot full…across the street from the DMV where a guy is actually out ticketing people on the street, which is where I ended up parking in a legal spot by some miracle. Anyway, the point being I still have no fucking idea where my mail is (it has been weeks) but I would trade all of it for Louis Dejoy being    _________________________.

What’s On TV Tonight?

Béisbol

Orioles at Guardians, 5:10PM, MASN 2
Athletics at Nationals, 6:05PM, NBCS-CA and MASN 2
Dodgers at Mets, 6:05PM, TBS
BoSox at Twins, 6:40PM, NESN
Royals at WhiteSox, 7:05PM, NBCS-CHI
Yankees at Angels, 8:38PM, YES
Phillies at Diamondbacks, 8:40PM, NBCS-PHI
Padres at Giants, 8:45PM, NBCS-BAY

Fútbol

Athletico-PR vs Palmeiras, 7:30PM, beIN Sports

And the Big One:

US Open Tennis

Naomi Osaka is playing Danielle Collins at the same time Nadal will be destroying Hijikata, 6PM on ESPN

Some other matches happening, too, but someone in the comments can shine more light on what’s up in the wild world of tennis.  And I ain’t updating this post for other NFL roster moves so feel free to alert yourselves. To the comments!