Your regular host asked for a fill-in, so he could sharpen his tools for the winter “harvesting.” What did we learn early?
- We got an announcer boo-boo late in the Commies/Tits fixture! The name that shall not be named.
- Clippers du Merde and #ThePauls are the stupidest teams in the NFL, and should play MOAR often.
- Magic Undies started against somebody in the TE slot. Probably Brocky. An all-time monster performance.
- Go ahead and crown his ass, Brian Daboll = COY.
- Hey, at least the Redshite lost. Gooners are rightly top of the Table.
- Refs gift MRSA a win for tackling Dreamboat. In other words, water still wet.
- No, I won’t discuss every fixture, that’s what teh Monday is for.
Team WKRP (+3) at Ratbirds (8:20, NBC)
It’s the Division one can never predict, and perhaps the two most schizo franchises of the young season. I read a long piece in The Athletic earlier about Beatie Mixon and the Bungles’ run-blocking struggles. Does this presage a breakout? Stoma Fuckers Utd. sure hope so. I wouldn’t bet on it.
Lamar! is having an MVP season, in a universe where there is no Brokeback. He is still appointment television, especially with a defense as leaky as this one. I very much could see this Division coming down to the CIN/BAL tiebreaker, so no exaggeration to say is yuuuuuuuggggge and not just mandatory.
But obviously, still very goddamned mandatory.
Enjoy the Fozz/Redshirt Derby, everyone.
Next week all I want to see is whoever Tampa plays decide that they’re going to get penalized for even breathing on Tommy Boy and just say “fuck it” and go all out. Hit him in the head. Pile drive him like Jim McMahon. Hide a steel chair in the huddle and just wallop him with it. Just fucking drive him into the ground until only his twitching feet can be seen.
I am almost positive Gisele can and will cover any resulting fines.
It’s the Stillers, so welcome aboard the Yinzer garbage pile.
Me:
You don’t have to root for the Steelers to win, you just have to root for them to kill.
Still the Steelers will get the credit for killing Brady. I don’t know…
You have to admit, “Steelers injure Brady, lose to Brady’s backup” is a win-win.
Hey, I couldn’t figure out how to stick this in an envelope, so here you go:
This made me laugh. Kyler has the toe!
https://twitter.com/BarstoolBigCat/status/1579184236808253440?s=20&t=Eo2u78E2n8UCW7WnbdZnbQ
Duh, here
Maybe NSFW?
http s://twitter.com/BussinWTB/status/1579226487206862848
https://twitter.com/DrawPlayDave/status/1579292842102771712
Tucker just called himself a “system kicker”. Incredible.
He’s quite the amusing lunatic. Even by kicker standards.
As a UT alum I love him dearly.
SHAN’KLOR may own the kickers but he still addresses Justin Tucker as “Sir”.
and without adding “you’re making a scene”
In gold, I tells ya!
Never count out Touchdown Tucker.
Come on bad snap!
Kicking coach for the Ravens: “Here’s your hot towel Mr. Tucker, sir. Can I get you anything else?”
Balmer can STILL kick on the very last play. All these timeouts are doing is letting them run more plays.
Its almost like Coach Taylor is a dumbass when it comes to in-game football strategy.
Collinsworth should never pretend to do maths,
“40 goes into 17 I dont know how many times” – Chris Collinsworth
“This has been some game back and forth”
It’s 17-16 with less than 2 minutes to go Cris, you unbelievable chucklefuck.
Button up yer flannel, Lamar!
Just let them score the damn touchdown.
When did Tom Brady join the Ravens?
The fans thought that was a miss.
“I know DOINKS” — Cris Collinsworth
One of us?
Or, y’know, that. That’s also hilarious.
but is it a sandwich?
A football is made out of pigskin, which is essentially just extremely overcooked bacon. Therefore, it gains enough support to qualify for initial proto-sandwich status.
If we consider the stadium grass as a suitable vegetable matter, we’ve now gained two essential ingredients that pushes our scenario here into clear simple sandwich territory, comparable to a lettuce wrap or sushi roll.
That’s fantastic.
he really ought to be teaching this as a class
PHANTOM DOINK
Starring Daniel Doink-Lewis, of course.
I hope they miss the XP and we go on to get another MOST GLORIOUS TIE later tonight
THAT close!
This is the most I’ve watched the Bengals since the Super Duper Bowl, and I am now convinced that if Baltimore put three guys on Chase Joe Burrows would flop around gasping like a fish out of water rather than throw it to any of three other open receivers.
Burrow goes to Chase for Home Runs. He goes to Higgins for Doubles. He goes to Boyd for RBI hits.
Where does he go for his hair?
SuperCuts!
He goes to the offensive line for getting hit with an errand bat.
“I’m Too Old For This Shit”: The Movie Supercut – YouTube
If anyone’s wondering, the fourth down robot said kick.
Hey, you get banned from Twitter again?
Just got a bunch of beer and sent you a DM through Slack but never heard back.
Oh hell. I DM’d you on Untappd but I guess those are practically invisible. Do you have the new address?
I’ll check Untappd. Haven’t had anything new today so haven’t been on it.
I take it you’re up for a smoked lager?
I will always, always take a smoked beer.
That’s good, because I don’t like them but ordered one anyway. You can probably guess at least one of the beers I’ll be sending.
Lol been banned from Twitter since 2016. Called Megyn Kelly “white trash.” Violent conduct.
They will nail you to the wall for calling anyone any kind of trash, I’ve found. I once caught 48 hours for calling a Nazi “Nazi trash”.
Is that Collinsworth’s kid?
Oh, good. The Bengals 6th string WR just entered the game. Fantastic.
What the Bengals need now is a long TD pass to Tyler Boyd.
I say this with no ulterior motive whatsoever.
(pretty sure I’ll be losing to makeitsnow no matter what)
Going on airplane mode, later aardvarks!
Cris Collinsworth, wrong as usual. Knock me over with a feather.
The Rog should make Justin Tucker ineligible for any field goal attempt less than 50 yards and never indoors.
and kick extra points lefty
and backwards
To speed up games, they should make it like the Intentional Walk. If the field goal attempt is less than 50 yards, the coach just needs to hold 3 fingers up and the scoreboard gives them the three points and they move on to the kickoff.
“Three fingers? Sounds good for my future coaching career.” — Jason Pierre-Paul
“Mine too!!”-Houston
It’s always amazed me that people think having a great kicker doesn’t matter. Um,no. Tucker is worth his weight in gold.
“Tucker is worth his weight in gold.”
/Neil de Grasse Tyson shows up at your door with numerous documents having to do with Tucker’s weight and the price of gold.
Some of the wines are marked as suitable for vegetarians and some are not! I know this is because they’re probably just clarified with an animal product, but I am going to order them and feel extra carnivorous just the same! I am also going with the vegetarian entree because paneer is yummy.
Hows the whiskey selection
Remember on International a double pour counts as “1”
Singleton 12 single malt and jonnie black. 3 gins
Tanqueray, Bombay, and Gordons? Or Aviation if they want to promote The Colonies.
Also vegetarian.
Lamar Jackson having a quick release should be no surprise, given that he matriculated at Louisville and presumably had access to Rick Pitino, a true master of that domain.
Taylor: “You need to block better, Collins!”
Collins: “You need to call plays better, Coach!”
I mean, so much VETERAN VETERANINESS to run a simple shallow cross route like that!
Not sure Coach Zac wants to go upsetting Murder Guy like that
I’m okay with that.
Sometimes I get annoyed with Peter Gabriel for making Solsbury Hill such a banger of a tune.
He really could write a great song — Steve Biko
what if Steve Biko WAS ON Solsbury Hill??
I love that one, I’m not even sick yet of that ad for whatever the fuck they’re selling. I liked him in Genesis too, back in the olden days. Oldener.
I can’t tell if the “g” on my keyboard is malfunctioning, or I’m just having trouble hitting the G-spot as usual.
The G-spot is a myth, like unicorns, elves, or Eskimos.
and the clitoris, riht?
Riht?
Aw, shit.
I guess it WOULD kill them to let Beatie run inside the 5. Jackasses.
Making some mushroom barley risotto tonight, and also going to put a turkey breast in the sous vide for tomorrow’s Canadian Thanksgiving. Making two nights of dinner at once? That’s great hustle!
/slaps own ass
//throws back out trying to do so
Mail me some.
That was about as terrible as a play could be
Never forget Thursday night.
Remember, remember, because the brain bleach didn’t work
Zac Wilson not only want to get Joe Burrow crippled for life, but, others now, too!
I picked up Tyler Boyd for FF this week, so that play seems about right.
“No one’s gonna confuse Joe Burrow with Favre” is a thing that Collinsworth just said, apparently not having see any sort of news media in the last few weeks.
Joe Burrow stole a bunch of money from Mississippi welfare recipients too??
I was thinking ‘Joe Burrow sent unsolicited dick pics to Jen Sterger too?’, but Brett’s such a great all around guy that we’re both right.
Time to stand around the gate waiting for boarding to start so I can stow my bag and get a shitty glass of champagne
the champagne’s NOT Korbel????
This is piss!
Yes, but whose?
First class or international business?
International business on BA’s old hard product, and I did not do well picking my seat
Middle between Rex and Rob Ryan. Non-optimal
For god’s sake don’t take your shoes off!
How did that referee get number 1? Not even Ed Hoculi got number 1
Joe Mixon hitting that hole like it just slapped him in a fast food joint.
The Bengals 3-Way has been downgraded to just a plate of spaghetti.
Ballitchmore itching slightly more!
When you get your opposing kicker to shake their head and laugh, you know you’re the Greatest Kicker of All Time.
61 easy
Aw, awkward burrow baby pictures
So cute!
I got diabetes just looking at it.
That’s right: I’m Wilfred Brimley. Or was. BOO!