Grittiest Little SNF Thread

Your regular host asked for a fill-in, so he could sharpen his tools for the winter “harvesting.”  What did we learn early?

  1. We got an announcer boo-boo late in the Commies/Tits fixture!  The name that shall not be named.
  2. Clippers du Merde and #ThePauls are the stupidest teams in the NFL, and should play MOAR often.
  3. Magic Undies started against somebody in the TE slot.  Probably Brocky.  An all-time monster performance.
  4. Go ahead and crown his ass, Brian Daboll = COY.
  5. Hey, at least the Redshite lost.  Gooners are rightly top of the Table.
  6. Refs gift MRSA a win for tackling Dreamboat.  In other words, water still wet.
  7. No, I won’t discuss every fixture, that’s what teh Monday is for.

Team WKRP (+3) at Ratbirds (8:20, NBC)

It’s the Division one can never predict, and perhaps the two most schizo franchises of the young season.  I read a long piece in The Athletic earlier about Beatie Mixon and the Bungles’ run-blocking struggles.  Does this presage a breakout?  Stoma Fuckers Utd. sure hope so.  I wouldn’t bet on it.

Lamar! is having an MVP season, in a universe where there is no Brokeback.  He is still appointment television, especially with a defense as leaky as this one.  I very much could see this Division coming down to the CIN/BAL tiebreaker, so no exaggeration to say is yuuuuuuuggggge and not just mandatory.

But obviously, still very goddamned mandatory.

Enjoy the Fozz/Redshirt Derby, everyone.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Horatio Cornblower

Next week all I want to see is whoever Tampa plays decide that they’re going to get penalized for even breathing on Tommy Boy and just say “fuck it” and go all out. Hit him in the head. Pile drive him like Jim McMahon. Hide a steel chair in the huddle and just wallop him with it. Just fucking drive him into the ground until only his twitching feet can be seen.

I am almost positive Gisele can and will cover any resulting fines.

WCS

It’s the Stillers, so welcome aboard the Yinzer garbage pile.

Redshirt

Me:

9235CF88-5476-4538-B73B-B0DE52DD8453.jpeg
makeitsnowondem

You don’t have to root for the Steelers to win, you just have to root for them to kill.

Redshirt

Still the Steelers will get the credit for killing Brady. I don’t know…

Dunstan

You have to admit, “Steelers injure Brady, lose to Brady’s backup” is a win-win.

Dunstan

Hey, I couldn’t figure out how to stick this in an envelope, so here you go:

mushroom.jpg
Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

Duh, here

FepkRFUX0AAeZ9w.jpeg
Redshirt

Maybe NSFW?

http s://twitter.com/BussinWTB/status/1579226487206862848

makeitsnowondem

Tucker just called himself a “system kicker”. Incredible.

makeitsnowondem

As a UT alum I love him dearly.

Redshirt

SHAN’KLOR may own the kickers but he still addresses Justin Tucker as “Sir”.

Gumbygirl

In gold, I tells ya!

makeitsnowondem

Never count out Touchdown Tucker.

Redshirt

Come on bad snap!

Horatio Cornblower

Kicking coach for the Ravens: “Here’s your hot towel Mr. Tucker, sir. Can I get you anything else?”

Redshirt

Its almost like Coach Taylor is a dumbass when it comes to in-game football strategy.

Recovery Whiskey

“40 goes into 17 I dont know how many times” – Chris Collinsworth

Horatio Cornblower

“This has been some game back and forth”

It’s 17-16 with less than 2 minutes to go Cris, you unbelievable chucklefuck.

Redshirt

Just let them score the damn touchdown.

Redshirt

When did Tom Brady join the Ravens?

Redshirt

The fans thought that was a miss.

Dunstan

“I know DOINKS” — Cris Collinsworth

One of us?

The Maestro

Or, y’know, that. That’s also hilarious.

Horatio Cornblower

but is it a sandwich?

The Maestro

A football is made out of pigskin, which is essentially just extremely overcooked bacon. Therefore, it gains enough support to qualify for initial proto-sandwich status.

If we consider the stadium grass as a suitable vegetable matter, we’ve now gained two essential ingredients that pushes our scenario here into clear simple sandwich territory, comparable to a lettuce wrap or sushi roll.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s fantastic.

makeitsnowondem

PHANTOM DOINK

makeitsnowondem

Starring Daniel Doink-Lewis, of course.

The Maestro

I hope they miss the XP and we go on to get another MOST GLORIOUS TIE later tonight

Horatio Cornblower

This is the most I’ve watched the Bengals since the Super Duper Bowl, and I am now convinced that if Baltimore put three guys on Chase Joe Burrows would flop around gasping like a fish out of water rather than throw it to any of three other open receivers.

Redshirt

Burrow goes to Chase for Home Runs. He goes to Higgins for Doubles. He goes to Boyd for RBI hits.

Horatio Cornblower

Where does he go for his hair?

WCS

He goes to the offensive line for getting hit with an errand bat.

makeitsnowondem

If anyone’s wondering, the fourth down robot said kick.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, you get banned from Twitter again?

Just got a bunch of beer and sent you a DM through Slack but never heard back.

makeitsnowondem

Oh hell. I DM’d you on Untappd but I guess those are practically invisible. Do you have the new address?

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll check Untappd. Haven’t had anything new today so haven’t been on it.

I take it you’re up for a smoked lager?

makeitsnowondem

I will always, always take a smoked beer.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s good, because I don’t like them but ordered one anyway. You can probably guess at least one of the beers I’ll be sending.

Recovery Whiskey

Lol been banned from Twitter since 2016. Called Megyn Kelly “white trash.” Violent conduct.

makeitsnowondem

They will nail you to the wall for calling anyone any kind of trash, I’ve found. I once caught 48 hours for calling a Nazi “Nazi trash”.

Gumbygirl

Is that Collinsworth’s kid?

Redshirt

Oh, good. The Bengals 6th string WR just entered the game. Fantastic.

Horatio Cornblower

What the Bengals need now is a long TD pass to Tyler Boyd.

I say this with no ulterior motive whatsoever.

(pretty sure I’ll be losing to makeitsnow no matter what)

Doktor Zymm

Going on airplane mode, later aardvarks!

WCS

The Rog should make Justin Tucker ineligible for any field goal attempt less than 50 yards and never indoors.

Redshirt

and backwards

Redshirt

To speed up games, they should make it like the Intentional Walk. If the field goal attempt is less than 50 yards, the coach just needs to hold 3 fingers up and the scoreboard gives them the three points and they move on to the kickoff.

Dunstan

“Three fingers? Sounds good for my future coaching career.” — Jason Pierre-Paul

Horatio Cornblower

“Mine too!!”-Houston

Gumbygirl

It’s always amazed me that people think having a great kicker doesn’t matter. Um,no. Tucker is worth his weight in gold.

Horatio Cornblower

“Tucker is worth his weight in gold.”

/Neil de Grasse Tyson shows up at your door with numerous documents having to do with Tucker’s weight and the price of gold.

Doktor Zymm

Some of the wines are marked as suitable for vegetarians and some are not! I know this is because they’re probably just clarified with an animal product, but I am going to order them and feel extra carnivorous just the same! I am also going with the vegetarian entree because paneer is yummy.

Recovery Whiskey

Hows the whiskey selection

Remember on International a double pour counts as “1”

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Doktor Zymm

Singleton 12 single malt and jonnie black. 3 gins

Recovery Whiskey

Tanqueray, Bombay, and Gordons? Or Aviation if they want to promote The Colonies.

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Horatio Cornblower

Also vegetarian.

Horatio Cornblower

Lamar Jackson having a quick release should be no surprise, given that he matriculated at Louisville and presumably had access to Rick Pitino, a true master of that domain.

Redshirt

Taylor: “You need to block better, Collins!”
Collins: “You need to call plays better, Coach!”

Redshirt

I’m okay with that.

The Maestro

Sometimes I get annoyed with Peter Gabriel for making Solsbury Hill such a banger of a tune.

Recovery Whiskey

He really could write a great song — Steve Biko

Gumbygirl

I love that one, I’m not even sick yet of that ad for whatever the fuck they’re selling. I liked him in Genesis too, back in the olden days. Oldener.

Dunstan

I can’t tell if the “g” on my keyboard is malfunctioning, or I’m just having trouble hitting the G-spot as usual.

Horatio Cornblower

The G-spot is a myth, like unicorns, elves, or Eskimos.

Dunstan

and the clitoris, riht?

Riht?

Aw, shit.

Dunstan

Making some mushroom barley risotto tonight, and also going to put a turkey breast in the sous vide for tomorrow’s Canadian Thanksgiving. Making two nights of dinner at once? That’s great hustle!

/slaps own ass
//throws back out trying to do so

WCS

Mail me some.

Recovery Whiskey

That was about as terrible as a play could be

TheRevanchist

Never forget Thursday night.

Doktor Zymm

Remember, remember, because the brain bleach didn’t work

WCS

Zac Wilson not only want to get Joe Burrow crippled for life, but, others now, too!

Horatio Cornblower

I picked up Tyler Boyd for FF this week, so that play seems about right.

Horatio Cornblower

“No one’s gonna confuse Joe Burrow with Favre” is a thing that Collinsworth just said, apparently not having see any sort of news media in the last few weeks.

Doktor Zymm

Joe Burrow stole a bunch of money from Mississippi welfare recipients too??

Horatio Cornblower

I was thinking ‘Joe Burrow sent unsolicited dick pics to Jen Sterger too?’, but Brett’s such a great all around guy that we’re both right.

Doktor Zymm

Time to stand around the gate waiting for boarding to start so I can stow my bag and get a shitty glass of champagne

Horatio Cornblower

This is piss!

Yes, but whose?

Recovery Whiskey

First class or international business?

Doktor Zymm

International business on BA’s old hard product, and I did not do well picking my seat

Recovery Whiskey

Middle between Rex and Rob Ryan. Non-optimal

Horatio Cornblower

For god’s sake don’t take your shoes off!

Recovery Whiskey

How did that referee get number 1? Not even Ed Hoculi got number 1

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Mixon hitting that hole like it just slapped him in a fast food joint.

Redshirt

The Bengals 3-Way has been downgraded to just a plate of spaghetti.

Doktor Zymm

Ballitchmore itching slightly more!

Redshirt

When you get your opposing kicker to shake their head and laugh, you know you’re the Greatest Kicker of All Time.

Recovery Whiskey

61 easy

Doktor Zymm

Aw, awkward burrow baby pictures

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Doktor Zymm

So cute!

Horatio Cornblower

I got diabetes just looking at it.

That’s right: I’m Wilfred Brimley. Or was. BOO!