To The Games!
Steelers/Bills:
Not sure if this is true but a sports talkin’ guy said that Pitt hasn’t been a 14 point dog in a game since 1968. Pitt’s O is ranked 30th overall so I doubt they’ll be able to keep up to Josh & Co.
Chargers/Browns:
Does Herbert like playing on the road? Today he’ll be trying for his 8th straight 300 yarder on foreign soil. He’ll likely get there as Cleveland is giving up an average of almost 8 yards a play in the 4th quarter. Makes it a bit hard to close out games, that.
Texans/Jags:
“From Worst to First: The Story of the 2-2 Jacktown Jaguars” doesn’t really have a good ring to it, I don’t know what to call this three hour-long documentary I made. My oh-so ‘sneaky’ fantasy pick of Davis Mills should give you some idea of what a dumb putz I can be, given the right conditions.
Bears/Vikings:
Minny is a quiet 3-1 currently. “Quiet”, for me in that when I think of good teams in the NFC the Vikes don’t come to mind. Perhaps when they get to 4-1 I’ll have to revisit my thinking. Poor Justin Fields-he’s getting sacked on almost 25% of his dropbacks.
Lions/Pats:
This doesn’t seem like a high-scoring game but Detroit will make it happen somehow. More correctly, their cornerbacks will make it happen. Zappe gets his first start and I’m actually pulling for his unprepared ass.
Seahawks/Saints:
C’mon Geno, you can do it again! Maybe he’s just a good player whose career got derailed? He was a 2nd round pick that blew out his knee. There, I’m convinced.
Fins/Jets:
Zach was lousy for 3 quarters last weekend and then put it together in the 4th, going 10-12 for 128 yardos. He’s the one that made that unlikely upset happen.
Falcons/Bucs:
Welcome to the big leagues, Tyler Allgeier-another rook gets his first start. He’ll be helped by an o-line that is surprisingly ranked 2nd overall in runblocking by the nerds at PFF.
Titans/Commies:
Outside of Puerto Rico and Tennessee, is there anyone watching this snore-fest?
Enjoy the games.
Well fuck
Gisele should watch out if Brady works the judge like he works the referees.
are people actually watching this monarch show (aka: “at least it isnt another cop show”)
Wentz tries to throw an end zone pick, fails, gets a do-over, succeeds.
Oh Washington Washingtonians.
Never change.
Wait..holy shit. How are the jets pasting the Dolphins?!?!
Dolphins playing a 7th rnd rookie QB for most of game, most depressing Skyler since Breaking bad.
Imagine if Brocky had played Bridgewater today.
/hope he stuck with Mahomesy
look browns fans, this is your choice. has been since 1964
STOP VICTIM BLAMING!!!
“Fuck you, Cleveland. The instant you signed that sexual predator you became my mortal enemy.” – Shan’Khor, Leaning In
Brownies Brownsed!
That is one of the stupidest coaching decisions I have ever seen in my life. Just fucking punt.
What the fuck???!!!
Wait…I thought the Ravens were the Sunday Night Game?!?
I’m gonna have to take that back. I forgot they were playing against the Browns. Coach, apparently, did not.
Lions Hockenson, who blessed me with 40+(!) points last week finally caught a pass with less than 5 minutes left in the frickin’ game.
Wow! The last 5 minutes of United vs Everton was intense. The right team won, but it never should have been that close of a game
Happy for De Gea making that finger tip save in extra time
Dalton in a Saints uni doesn’t quite work.
Dalton more suited to wearing a body bag than uniform at this point.
ya, the bears gotta cut that sleeper cell viking
he ruined the fields rushing td earlier, too
You be you, #ThePauls
BRISSECPTION!
Andy Reid has dreams in Brisketception.
Geno threads the needle between three defenders to get the TD.
/probably shouldn’t have thrown it
That man just wanna grab his receivers’ ass. That’s determination
Wakey – how bad did it get at Goodison? I won’t even check the scoreline
Still only 2-1, but it should be 3-1. The handball rules are the EPL equivalence of the NFL catch rules. Rashford was robbed of a goal.
TBH, it should probably be 4-1 United, but again, United need 10000 opportunities to score
Be nice to Pickford, he is a confidence player. 2-1 is enough!
Nothing against Pickford. It’s the rest of the team
100% sure I will lose by Dalvin NOT crossing the plane
at least I gets 2 fer JJ
#ObiWanGenobi
And on first and goal, on the 2, the Texans fumble at the 1.
THIS GAME WILL NEVER END!
Never mind. I am stupid. They still had the ball after the review. Now they just scored.
Thank god. No overtime.
Magic Undies is killing it in someone’s TE slot
GIMME DALVIN POINTS FUCKHEADS
Pierce, RB for the Texans, apparently has had enough of this shit and is refusing to lose this game.
How about that, an actual tough, leader-y play by Dingleberry, giving up his body for the first down.
Butt Tackle in Minny
They called the Seahawks D, the Legion of Gloom. LOG.
It’s better than bad, it’s good!
It’s even good for the neighbors dog!
NFL announcer after the Texans QB throws the ball into the sidelines, also hitting the fans.
“Miscommunication between the QB and the receiver”.
I’m late to watching The Foosball, but I was doing shit all morning so I can watch the Seahawks game without commercials. Don’t judge me!
That’s what I have to do. We gotta do what we gotta do
Love the offsetting penalties-two separate instances of guys trying to injure a player on the same play.
NFL: “You know what? Let’s pretend the play didn’t happen at all.”
“I think we’ve found the solution to our concussion problem…” – Roger Goodell
ALL OF THESE PROBLEMS ARE NOT KENNY’S FAULT.
If Tomlin would just clone KENNY 21 times and have him play literally every position, the STILLERS GOIN TO DA SUPERBWOL FIRE TOBLIM AND SLEEPY JOE KENNY/TRUMP
It’s going to be a Yinzer-rific season.
You really do speak flawless Westmoreland County!
I’m fluent in the Yinzer dialects of Greene, Fayette, most of Butler, Beaver (heh heh huh huh), and Armstrong Counties, too.
I lived in Venango County for a year, in kindergarten. I didn’t understand a word anyone said!
FINALLY some KHunt
— Russell Wilson, on his wedding night
cousinsception! the bears tank receives a javelin missile to the turret!
lol vikes with the flea flicker for…a two yard gain!
I’ve been on a kick lately, watching Russian news shows. They have their own version of Fox News, Russia-1.
Its pretty surreal because its just like Baghdad Bob from the Iraq War, only they have shitloads of nukes.
Imagine if Tucker Carson was demanding the US glass over Canada while at the same time, attempting to explain away our inability to occupy Quebec successfully.
read a long article about Russians Love of Married with Children and their popular recreation of it “Happy Together” becaues they were mad they ran out of episodes.
They couldnt swallow pride enough thought o make Al balding.
There is a wonderful documentary about comedy during the USSR existence called “The Hammer and the Tickle”. Its pretty fascinating as the type of humor that was tolerated completely changed as the leadership did. As usual, the Poles had some of the best lines.
“…and you’ll introduce me to these Poles?” – Jim Irsay
They copied the set!
Baghdad Bob is some dark humour shit when you realize his prophecies ended up being correct.
Durning the darkest depths of the Cold War one of the only American TV shows broadcast on Soviet television was old episodes of The Rifleman. Chuck Connors became a superstar in Russia and when Brezhnev visited the U.S. he wanted to meet him.
Olave awarded the touchdown posthumously
JUSTIN FIELDS ONE COMPLETION AWAY FROM 10 ALERT
Watching this game between the Texans and Jacksonville, I am still amazed I sat through the first two season of Hue Jackson. I swear to you, even during the 0-16 season, there were games those Browns seemed so much better than both of these teams.
This game feels like a college game just as how slow it is. I swear I have been watching this for the last four hours.
faster play in a warhammer tournament
I also left the P*ts D on my bench. Hippo is very dum
phew, i thought the bears forgot their tank for a minute
upon further review….
Bears vs Lions will be biggest tank battle since El Alamein
i shoulda known that tanking against a kirk cousins team isnt easy
Casemiro with a threading of the needle pass there.
YOU JINXED US BY WATCHING WAKEY IS BASTARD MAN
If it makes you feel any better, both kids are making it really hard to watch anything these days