Well, here we are in Munich watching the other football. Rather than doing a regular game preview let’s do some historical stuff.
Seahawks/Bucs:
-Julius Caesar hisself named those weirdos living east of the Rhine the Germani and that land Germania. This is a bit curious because it was long before Germ Theory even existed. Coincidence? Yes.
-The Baader-Meinhoff Gang is probably my favorite techno-terrorist group, narrowly edging out Kraftwerk.
-Shoutout to guys like the Visigoths, the Bauhausgoths, the Vandals, the Lombards and the Saxons-they all hastened the decline of the Roman Empire.
-Charlemagne (not just a town in Quebec or a Steely Dan tune) had a wonderful Christmas in 800 AD, as he was crowned by none other than Pope Leo the Third.
-The Hanseatic League-founded by Hans The Magnificent-was a loose coalition of towns allied by commercial interests and the first league to allow corporate ads on their jerseys!
-The city of Cologne was originally called Hai Karate. Their citizens worked 75% of the time, all the time.
–Not wanting the Brits to have all the fun, the Teutonic Knights started the Prussian Crusade. After establishing an independent state they fought with Poland, Lithuania and the Novgorod Republic which was totally not a harbinger of things to come.
–Sturm und Drang (“Storm and Stress”) is the nickname given to the running backs in the Rhein Fire’s backfield.
-In 1819 The Royalist Formerly Known as Prince Metternich issued the repressive Carlsbad Decrees which included building 15 foot high fences and playing ear-splitting music at 3am. His neighbor? You guessed it, Carl Zimmerman.
-In the German language a witty retort is called a Bunsenbrenner or “Bunsen burner”, after Klaus Bunsen, a popular German standup comedian in the ’80’s.
Well, there’s pretty much all there is to German history. If I have missed anything, let me know in the comments. Enjoy.
What happened, does flying East act like a time machine for Geno? The further east he goes, the shitter he gets
I considered what “4 hours worse than EST” and decided that was too terrible to continue
Edit: then Geno decided it was time to show what it looked like
LOVED this post.
Me too! Baader-Meinhoff edging out Kraftwerk for favorite techno-terrorist group made me gigglesnort!
Why am I awake? Fuck Tom Brady!
Wish or threat
Threat. He is not at all my type.
Brady’s 2.4 second throws are so much more successful with big sweaty men than they were with Giselle
The cheerleaders should all be in dirndls! Good for nothing marketing team.
From this voting Nevadan local, you’re welcome. I personally handed in 50 dead persons ballots to get the Dems over. Again, you’re welcome.
Thank you for your service.
Hero!
From the pet cemetery, too; unless Snowball III is a Najevo name
From this deep blue district resident whose only joy was helping long time Dems keep their jobs .. thank you
How are we feeling about Josh Allen actually playing?
I had to pick up Brissett just in case and Allen is still questionable. Not sure I trust his elbow.
He did uncork a pass with like 65 yards in the air after he got hurt last week, but it might’ve been adrenaline.
How dare that black man say mean things about me — NFL referee, wishing he’d gone into police work in America instead.
oops wrong post
Morning Folks.
Must have spent 15 minutes trying to login. This like Twitter, y’all sending me packing without notice?
Oh good the Site Monster got someone else this week. Those blood sacrifices must’ve helped
Metcalf hurt the ref’s feeings
We ‘re putting the offense into Geno’s hands. Oh boy.
Just tell him it’s a booty and he’ll take good care of it.
True, but I suspect submariners have a much higher percentage of total gallons of, shall we say, EFFLUVIA produced?
Seattle should’ve listened to German band Die Toten Hosen:
Bayern – English Translation
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qlOiLMN_guA
There’s a band called The Dead Socks? How did I not know this?
“The Dead Trowsers” is the usual translation. They were a pretty great band though. Kind of a combination of a German Billy Idol and U2.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lj8dlULyT5I
Seattle MVP Michael Dickson.
Shit teams always have great punting
As a Donks supporter, I know practice makes perfect.
Practice these phrases:
“How could he not have seen that guy”
“Its OK we’re a 4th quarter team”
“Brady and Rodgers couldn’t throw behind this line either”
They will serve you well during the long long season of 3 and outs and defensive battles.
A five-punt first half rarely works out well.
Nice punt
Big Dickson energy
Local story yesterday was how the Seahawks arrived a day early to enjoy the trip. Looks like it worked.
HOORAY, forgetting to take Horny Fourny out of fantasy lineup
Who are you, so wise in the ways of fantasy?
If I have learned nothing in my almost 50 years as an Ugly American, it’s expecting laziness to be handsomely rewarded.
Shades of Darius Heyward-Bey, except that he actually caught it.
It’s really amazeballs how many fixtures y’all have won, given your 1st round draft pick history
Two?
(I meant historically)
I could also smack talk “hey, at least we don’t have McDaniels” but you’d rightly note “at least we aren’t pot committed to Charmslinger.”
This is a bold twist on “Cover Zero”
uh…FOURTEEN
and MUST not CAN
100,000 passing yards? Does Rex Ryan know how many feet that is?
Everyone knows Coby Bryant’s going to be in a fog this early on a weekend morning
Oh my.
Banner!
[ disoriented helicopter flies through banner]
*massive hillside explosion*
Agreed.
Always happy to see Julio Jones succeed. Nobody deserves a ring more than that man.
: ahem :
One of your ex girlfriends, probably
Aw, now I feel bad. I’m thinking of one of them who absolutely does.
casa de RTD vacuuming intensifies
I mean from someone other than me. She is a wonderful woman but wanted kids and I didn’t.
casa de RTD vacuuming returns to normal 7:30a PST pace
Julio? End zone? He looks lost.
/holy bananas, was he ever wide open
Scheisse
GODDAMNIT TRUTHERS
Thanks to the imbalanced split, RedZone viewers will get to see lots and lots of John Wolford v. Colt McCoy this afternoon.
Every time Leonard Fournette touches the ball I think he’s LaGarette Blount.
You never hear about German gods and goddesses. Was that just not their thing?
Odin is one. there’s a bunch more.
Would the German language broadcast need to not call it a “blitz?” Under their no-nazis laws?
Blitz is also the name of the Seahawks mascot..
What is the German translation of the “no ofence” add-on?
sitzkrieg
I once paid Jim Tomsula a couple of blintzes to paint my fence, but he never did it.
I had a
salt lickpizza and wings for dinner last night. There isn’t enough water in the world.I had just 2x wings (but from the pizza place SPIRIT ANIMAL), and yeah, it’s like pissing molasses this morning.
Succop must’ve forgot to convert that to metric
nein! kick est scheiss!
We’re about to discover the TRUTH behind this whole Geno career reboot arent we
I decided on Mooney over Evans-fingers crossed.
I sat Godwin and am already feeling vindicated.
Started Succop, though.
/swats Geno on nose with newspaper. BAD!
And is Giselle German? Might be why everyone’s booing him too.
I will trust you. This non-aligned mandatorium viewer has the sound off.
Was noticeable.
MRSA Dreamboat – Too Evil FOAR Germany
Apparently theres a Munich Seahawkera group. The lead organizer of which is a Traffic Controller at MUN. Local threads said we might brigade the audience
Y’all Truthers need to not fuck humanity over this morning!
Shamedly, I forgot to swap out Horny Founy for White
Anyone been to this stadium? It is literally possible to land at MUN, check in at hotels on the property across the street, arrive by pedestrian tunnel to a giant courtyard with beer gardens, watch the weekly Bundesliga equivalent to ESPN Gameday in person then walk to Allianz Stadium. And visit the Audi complex too if you wanted.
German efficiency applied to game-day experience for visiting fans or tourists.
Is a good thing they’s never channeled zis efficiency for evil
Especially when it comes to moving people.
ja!
I have. It’s out on the autobahn ring, near the airport but not the city center. All connected by a typically German efficient Ubahn.
I mean, you can walk 4 miles, but why would you want to?
Please remember I’m from LA.
6:30 am kickoff. Just woke up like The Undertaker entering the ring.
This is the plebian version my gauche ears is used to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_85fUIRlmU
In order to have a chance this week in fantasy, I need some bed shitting from Brady and Evans.
Which is also very German.
And will get them a lot of new German fans, however, most are still intrigued by FedEx field and it’s showers of shit (those Germans and their showers).
I was going to try and make this game, but the family sit happened. So a reasonably time slotted game for me here it is, + memories of my ole Hofbrauhaus daze…
My hookup with a lass from Germany was one of my most sordid stories ever.
I had a lucky table at the Hofbrauhaus that never failed me. Always hooked up.
Go Rhein Fire!
Shit did i just start another beer hall putsch?
I first thought that was beer hall pukes, which actually happen every Oktoberfest behind the beer hall.
Even greater than usual preview! I had never heard this in the original Kraut before this morning. Thanks for the rabbit hole!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMVokT5e0zs
1) Me likey girl in banner pic
2) My Ford Explorer has a Cologne V-6 engine built in Germany; its has 375,000 miles on it and still purrs like a kitten. Has never missed a lubricant or filter change, cooling system always maintained to proper specs, never over-stress it. Congratulations to the Ford Cologne Germans and also to me.
3) Here’s the intersection of Vermont Ave and W Redondo Beach Blvd in Gardena CA on July 31 2018. Shot with a Canon EF 24-105mm f/4L IS USM lens on my old 5D Mark II. Great lens but very heavy. As you all know, I’ve since switched to the Sony A7R3, and I have the Sony 24-105mm f/4 G OSS lens which is just as heavy; beautiful optics but I hate it. Looking into trading for the lightweight Sony 16-35mm G PZ or maybe going back to the Sony 20mm f/1.8 G prime. Notice the Hustler Casino on the right:
You’re really close to one of my favorite family owned Italian joints. Lomelli’s. It’s at Redondo and Van Ness.
Also my favorite ink artist, Johnny, owns a tattoo shop right there called “Yer Cheatin Heart.” Johnny is the shit.