Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

Cause y’all haven’t voted enough, here’s an easier one:

This is not a reflection on the choices you have*
*it totally is.

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

God will never give you anything you can’t handle [in bed]
Kelly Clarkson

This means that god knows you play with yourself. Like all time time. Maybe stop and let it heal. Or not. Whatever

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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sigh A person(s) is making a “game” called The Bible, which ends up basically being an audio book. And they’ll add achievements later.

ThePirateSloth

Gumbygirl

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Sigh. Hippo, have you learned nothing from all those episodes of “That’s My Raiders!”? The Raiders are the NFL’s equivalent of the Washington Generals. It’s their place to provide comic relief, and to help struggling football franchises and players find their footing by providing valuable life lessons.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sharkbait

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Whomever gave the okay to have two games in the late afternoon window, and everyone who supported that decision exiled to a remote Antarctic research post and forced to defeat a hostile, shape-shifting alien form from escaping to civilization.
WCS

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Powerball drawing is delayed? Dammit, I need to know if I’m a nigh-billionaire so I’ll know who to vote for tomorrow [Nov 8]!
Redshirt

If I don’t win I’m going to march on the Capitol until someone convinces me that the drawing wasn’t;t rigged against me.

It’s the American way!
Horatio Cornblower

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Say what you want about him, but Andy Dalton has guts. And if he keeps getting hit like this, we’re gonna see them spilled out onto the turf.
Redshirt

His guts were never in doubt, it’s his soul I have questions about.
Horatio Cornblower

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How much would it be to pay Luke Bryan to not subject me to a private concert?
Horatio Cornblower

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At 8:01 pm tomorrow I am going out and taking down political signs around town until either my car runs out of gas or the police take me down in a hail of bullets.
Horatio Cornblower

I’ve never set fire to a very large political sign in the dead of night after an election, I swear. It never happened in Ottawa on a side street that ran off Bank Street in a residential community, ever.
scotchnaut

I have not stolen and then burned many Trump signs.
Horatio Cornblower

I’m a huge fan of what you’re not doing. You should keep not doing that.
scotchnaut

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I presume everyone has seen Ted Cruz getting booed and having beer thrown at him at the Astros world series parade but if you haven’t, I recommend it as a brief moment of joy.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hadn’t heard about people throwing beer at him. Please tell me it was unopened cans and they were fired using one of these things:

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Yep

2Pack

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I threw out my back coughing and voted in the midterms. Does this make me An Old?

WCS

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Sharkbait

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Don T’s knowledge of South American Fútbol is truly terrifying, and could also be completely made up, and I’d never now. Either way outstanding creativity.
Horatio Cornblower

He should have made up some crazy “South American” rules just to test us, like “it’s not offsides if your feet aren’t touching the ground when the ball is kicked, so you see strikers bouncing around like pogo sticks all the time when the ball is advanced. Sometimes they camp out in the penalty box and do handstands hoping someone can launch a ball upfield.”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Don T

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Welp. Back home after a brief trip stateside to see Mom. She is 86, fell last month breaking her hip. Rather then repair the DOC did replacement surgery. She came home after about 5 weeks of rehab the day I got there. The advances in medical care that we have seen in my lifetime are truly remarkable. I think she is getting around better now than before the fall. Simply amazing. Life is good my friends
2Pack

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It’s 58°F here on the coast, dude. I had to put on a fucking sweater.
Brick Meathook

I put Big Blue on TWICE this week!

ballsofsteelandfury

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I touched my eye after dicing up onions, jalapenos, and limes

Your thoughts and prayers will be appreciated during these trying times

ThePirateSloth

Live look inside my kitchen

ThePirateSloth

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Brocky

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Wifey is watching back episodes of Young Sheldon. I’ve failed as a husband-mock me as you see fit.
scotchnaut

Have you tried vacuuming? I find that it drowns out the volume of the television set.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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You’d think a guy named Philip would throw more to Terrace
King Hippo

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“I ended up doubling the gin ratio because….”

Because you wanted more gin. You’re not fooling us.
Horatio Cornblower

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This is Gumby’s Veteran’s Day message

Gumbygirl

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USC football on TV and jaialai on my phone. Already started drinking. I think I’m doing well tonight!
TheRevanchist

WCS

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This reminds me that I need to teach youngest GTD to do this in the neige as its “when” not “if” one slides in the winter
Game Time Decision

WCS

We’re gonna do doughnuts in the car in the snow to show how to handle the car when it slides
Game Time Decision

It’s slippy aht. Jagoffs can’t drive in ‘is shit, they’ll end up in a jaggerbush when they jam on the binders.
Gumbygirl

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So we got a ray of sunshine here in Crazytown. A black one! There’s a new veteran in our pod who has a service dog with him; a beautiful 17 month-old black lab named Breeze. He’s great! Because he’s a service dog, we’re not allowed to pet him, but it’s absolutely heaven to watch him gambol around the courtyard like a big dummy. The hospital has a small retail store called “Retail Store”, and I swear it’s just like Ruth-Anne’s store on “Northern Exposure”. It’s tiny, but somehow you can find ANYTHING there. Today I found a bag of Cabot brand(!) bacon and cheddar flavored bones for Breeze. Yesterday on the pill line, a veteran was having trouble with his iPhone, and Breeze’s owner was helping him fix it. They were standing close to me, and Breeze did that thing where he stuck his nose under my hand and flipped it on top of his head when his owner was distracted🤓. GOD it took all I had to not get down on the floor and bury my face in his big, dopey belly!
Fronkenshteen

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Hippo making a reference to his poor memory reminded me of something that happened at work last week.

Office Clerk: “Have you seen anything on Netflix recently that you’d rec?”

Me: “Oh yeah, ‘Katla’ with a ‘K’ is fantastic!” [describes basic outline of the first episode]

Office Clerk: “That sounds amazing! I’m going to watch that for sure!”

Me: /thinks [“Why isn’t she writing the name of the show down on paper? Ah, right-she’s in her mid-20’s and still has a memory function that works]
scotchnaut

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Men. Oh men.

I have returned home from an epic day of Horatio goes sporting.

As you may recall, I left earlier today to watch the Fightin’ Horatios, Ice Division, (ranked #7 nationally), play local rivals Providence Community College Friars, (ranked #9), live and in person.

Providence gets out to a 3-0 lead. UConn looks like crap, but pulls 1 back at the end of the first on a power play.

During the second period UConn scores two more goals to tie the game at 3.

After scoring the first or second goal the announcer comes on to tell the crowd that the Fightin’ Horatios, Greater Footy Division, have defeated the 19th ranked Liberty Flaming Hypocrites 36-33. They are now an unfathomable 6-5 and bowl eligible for the first time since 2015. Crowd goes bananas.

Providence scores on a breakaway, goes up 4-3.

UConn scores right back, 4-4.

Towards the end of the second period UConn is hit with a major penalty for boarding. Debatable given a previous non-call when Providence did more or less the same thing to a Fightin’, but was not called. Various expletives and questions related to ancestry are hurled towards the referee. The family in front of us, with two young children, left the arena at this point.

Side note, the referee was named Potvin, bring back memories of chanting “Denis Potvin beats his wife, doo-dah, doo-dah” during Whalers-Islanders games. Truly, hockey is a sport for the refined.

Anyhoodles, Providence proceeds to score two goals. 6-4 bad guys.

During the intermission I get enough of an internet connection, (The Hartford XL Center’s wifi lacks sufficiently determined hamsters to be considered reliable), to learn that Arsenal has won 2-0 and now sits top of the Premier tables 5 points clear of Blood Oil Sex Money.

UConn plays the next 17:05 seconds like Carrie, in that they clearly do not understand how periods work and what will happen when the third one ends.

But, with 2:57 left UConn gets a face-off in the Providence end. Down 2 they pull their goalie. Which almost never works, and I fully expect it to be 7-4 within 15 seconds.

And then UConn scores. 6-5.

Face-off at center, teams battle back-and-forth, UConn gets the puck back in the Providence end with a little more than a minute to go. Goalie flies out of the net, 6th attacker is over the boards and on the attack.

Desperation hockey for both sides for the next 20-30 seconds as Providence tries to fling the puck out and UConn successfully keeps it in, but little more than that. Suddenly there is a scrum in front of the net. From where I’m sitting, (standing and screaming incoherently at this point, to be accurate), I can see the net, wide open on the keepers right side. I can also see the puck sliding towards the net on that same side. Considering that it’s a puck, with at least some momentum, skidding on ice, it takes forever to complete its journey but does in fact cross the line, with 4.58 seconds remaining.

The crowd goes insane. So much hugging and high-fiving among strangers that I may be legally married to several men right now.

Overtime, (3-on-3 in Hockey East), produces a number of breakaways and outstanding saves for both teams, but no goals. The game is officially a draw.

But we’re doing a shoot-out for the fans.

I believe we went 7 rounds of skaters, with the keepers 4-2 through 6, before UConn’s keeper made a save and Providence’s didn’t, giving UConn a 7-6 “win” in a game they never led until that last shot.

Then I went to a bar and had Guinness and lamb stew.

I am very tired, but

Horatio Cornblower

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Breeze says: “🎶 Hellooooo!!! 🎶”

Fronkenshteen

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From this voting Nevadan local, you’re welcome. I personally handed in 50 dead persons ballots to get the Dems over. Again, you’re welcome.
Spur

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Afternoon, folks. It’s a joint birthday for me and Señor Weaselo. I have spent my day lounging in bed double screening RedZone and the CFL – gonna go for a little sunset forest walk and enjoy some homemade pizza later. A perfect day here.
The Maestro

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Jesus Christ Cousins, you fucking moron!
Gumbygirl

“Jesus Christ” + “Cousins” + “fucking”

Those are the three most common search entries in Kentucky
Wakezilla

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But I’m having a good time.

Beerguyrob

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SHUT THE FUCK UP COLLINSWORTH! He really loves his own voice tonight.
litre_cola

Just Tonight?
TheRevanchist

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Good birthdaying:

-Chai with Senorita Weaselo at the local place (that she can’t go to because the barista asked her out a while back)
-Killed it at my gig
-Cake and drinks with Senorita Weaselo to cap it off (she got me a palm sugar cake, it’s almost caramelly.)

What’d I miss?
Senor Weaselo

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I have escaped the stadium. We are currently waiting out the traffic at the Green Bay Distillery. This absolutely HAMMERED twit at the table next to us has asked me what I do for a living four times and I’ve told her a different thing each time – bartender, pipe fitter, ex-ball player, and raconteur. She doesn’t know who won, but the last score she remembers is 28-14 “Cow-bitches”.
Beerguyrob

Follow up – her husband just came in, screaming about walking up & down Oneida for 20 minutes looking for her. He apologized to us for her, and she introduced me as “Ron the barber”, in case you were wondering g if her memory had improved. Then he dragged her out by the scruff of the collar & she yelled about “making it up to him later”. So I know at least one person getting a vomit-scented blumpkin later tonight.
Beerguyrob

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Oh no Michael Bolton, oh no. No sir.
ThePirateSloth

Why should I have to change my name, he’s the one who sucks
BrettFavresColonoscopy

– every person in the world named Josh McDaniels
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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