Hello, I am your substiture teacher, preacher, anything you haaaadddd in mind.  I am only #FirstPill in, on this blessed Native American Slaughter Day.  But it’s windows open weather down Cakalaky Way, the cats are sleeping peacefully, and my house is silent.  LET’S FUCKING GO, Y’ALL!

Bills (-9.5) at LioUns (12:30, CBS)

Move over Rodney Dangerfield, this is some SERIOUS GET NO RESPEK stuff here.  Brokeback is essentially playing with one functional arm, and it’s NOT his throwing one.  You may have noticed they have lost 2 of 3, with #ThePauls providing the only port in their storm.  Make no mistake, Detroit is NOT a similar-calibre opponent.  Dan Campbell’s LioUns fought back from that dreadful 1-6 start, and they 100% FUCK RIGHT NOW.  Add to that, their Thanksgiving mystique?  Take.  The.  LioUns.  Shit, I give them a 35-40% chance to win outright.

Fantasy Advice

If you have Devin Singletary and aren’t starting him – you should set him free, because you ain’t NEVAR starting him.  He’ll get at least one TD, probably two.  And I’ll set the over/under combined yardage at 105.  I never know what to do with LioUn skill players in fantasy, so I just don’t have any rostered (except Justin Jackson as a lotto ticket in the League with 20-man rosters).

Regular Advice

Just because your raycess uncle/cousin/grandpa is present at the meal, that don’t mean you have to engage whatsoever.  That’s the miracle of divorce – the realization that you don’t HAVE TO DO the square root of fuckall.  You control you, and who cares if anyone gossips about your lone wolfdom?  All we gots to do is STAY BLACK and die, and since dying is against Clubhouse Roolz – just STAY BLACK my imaginary bruthas and sistas.

Get your Nazi references ready for the Boiz From Brasil and the Always-Friendly Serbs at 2p. too (Fox).