Note: This is a post by LongtimeLionsLoser /*smoke bomb*/
So, this is my first time writing a post, and I’m already off to a terrible start, as I hoped that I would have sent it yesterday, but I am hopelessly behind at work given that there were 4 (Fourking FOUR!!!) snow/ice days for my kids this week at school. As will be a running theme in my posts and comments, the universe hates me (I am a Lions fan of 40 years, and an ex-Michigander now living in the abyss of the Plains states).
Having said all that, please remember that this is my first time. First times are usually awkward, messy, a little painful, and often without all parties reaching a satisfying climax. I guess that thems are the breaks.
Now, the topic that I volunteered to write about was the Prob Owl. Given that today is a sports wasteland, only rivaled by that summer day after the MLB All-star game when Fourk All is happening, you will get writing about a worthless event, from an only slightly less worthless writer. However, I did try to find some meaning in my ridiculous topic. I am nothing if not pedantic.
PROBABILITY OF AN OWL
In trying to understand the relative value of the Prob Owl (again, the answer is none, like the value of this post), I wanted to get to the root of it. The Probability of an Owl, noted
P(Owl) = N(Owl) / N(Birds)
* with N(Owl) being the total number of Owls on Earth and N(Birds) being the total number of Birds on earth – inclusive of owls.
Obivously, this probability is 23,000,000 / 50,000,000,000, or .046%.
PROBABLY AN OWL (a sampling of famous fictional owls)
Owls also symbolize different things in different cultures. For example, in Africa and the Middle East, owls often are symbols of death. However, in other cultures, such many European ones, owls indicate sagacity. Further, in Hindu culture, owls are a holy symbol. In spite of the insanity of the game today, this is how I view owls.
Now, from things that owls forbode, to things that owls actually represent in current culture. Many cartoon owls shape our impressions of owls. That asshat Tootsie Pop Owl never answered the question of my youth, “How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll
center of a Tootsie Pop?” That rat-vomiting sack of shiitake mushrooms always said “three” but he was about as reliable as our former Orange Overlord, Premier Trump.
Via postimages.com
We also have Owl from Winnie the Pooh. Now, he was my favorite, as he annoyed all of the other characters, and also acted superior. I love those type of people. Also, Owl from Winnie the Pooh really reminded me of Bill Barr, and I loved that. His character’s voice on the cartoon even SOUNDED like Bill Barr. I always found this hysterical.
Via postimages.com
Finally, we have the Great Owl from the Secret of Nimh. This one will haunt my soul until the day I die, so I now fully understand the cultural quandary of whether owls should be good omens or bad ones.
Via postimages.com
PROBABLY AN OWL – TEARS ADDITION (word works in both contexts)
Today’s Junior Owl is a game of some sort, probably, but it has no value and only downside (like my career). If you disagree with me, please go ask Robert Edwards about his knee.
CONCLUSION
I made no point, and channeling my inner Billy Madison dialogue, may God have mercy on my soul. However, please enjoy whatever sports that you watch today, and if you watch this Junior Owl, congratulations on being the one. Now, please discuss Owls, great and small.
Banner via Rush
Sill Bimmons: [Leans over to Don T] Isn’t Michigan plains too?
Don T: [Staring straight forward] Get. Your. Fucking. Hand. Off. My. Thigh.
I enjoyed the owl theme. It was a hoot!
Got my schoolwork turned in at 11:59 on a midnight deadline. I still got it, baby!
&ct=g
Are you having to retake Grade 10 or something?
Bachelors in History. Including the two I’m taking now, I have five classes to go. There’s still a huge teacher shortage here. Thought maybe I could help.
That’s how it’s done!
Also, if it’s not through turnitin.com does it really count?
Watched 2 more best picture nominees this weekend. I liked Elvis. The set pieces and musical numbers were outstanding. This fucker wins for best sound.
Today was Triangle of Sadness and it was a head scratcher.
Kind of a Lord of the Flies type ending but basically just meandered for 2 and 1/2 hours.
Still have a favorite in the clubhouse and neither of these films beat it.
We already told you, AVN Awards winners are not automatically entered into Movie of the Year selections at the Academy.
Elvis was pretty enjoyable. Coulda used more nudity (said the same thing about Downton Abbey). Only seen that one and Banshees so far.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [is reading about the tragic earthquake]
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ (ret): Why aren’t you looking at J-Lo’s arms?
Probably as much unwanted shaking in both.
HI-YOOOOOOOOOOO
How about Duo the Duolingo owl, that salty bitch?
Well that’s messed up
This is last thing you see before you die.
This species shoots lasers out of its eyes. I read that on the internet.
Ah yes, the Jewish Vote Switching Owl. An interesting species.
I just mentally hear “May I help you?” spoken in high class English servant
This one wants his Tootsie Pop
Still 1.5 hours till I need to go to the airport, yay redeyes
Oh my…
Yikes
Have a safe trip
Engage.
I am Batman.
I’m enjoying the owl theme
We had pigeon infestation issues at some of our facilities. Tried an environmentally friendly mitigation technique of introducing a predator, a barn owl into the mix. It did not work out so well. People if you think pigeon shit is bad, you have probably not dealt with Barn Owl shit.
Nope, but I did dissect an owl pellet in science class when I was a kid!
The pellets are not bad after laying around for a while. The fresh stuff is simply nasty.
At one place I worked, we put fake owls in the trees. Quite hilarious.
We now just put netting up all over the place.
This bird reminds me of a 70’s era muscle car.
Not sure if everybody received the news Hippo assuredly sent, but Wrexam will compete here in NC in a 7 vs. 7 tournament in Cary, very close to Raleigh.
Nice things? In North Calacky?
The State Legislature was not in session to stop it apparently.
My wife has already asked if I wanted to go. I am on the fence. It’s a tournament, so it could be one and done.
Let me know if come this way, maybe we can get Hippo to leave his house.
Oh shit, 7.8 in Turkey
I prefer mine at 375 for about five hours.
450 for 30 minutes and then drop the heat to 350 until it reaches 165 inside
Prob done in about 2.5 hours
She’s definitely a 10 in her native country of Turkey, and a 10 here in the U.S.
More like 3 inches in a sheep, amirite? Hey-yo!
Saw some owls at the National Aviary in Columbia
https://youtu.be/TbU-XOj3AZk
My cousins are Detroit natives, now living in Cleveland. Somehow, their local FOOBAWL squadron got worse by leaving Motor City.
Follow-up: They were living in both cities during their oh-fer seasons. BLAME THE WARRENS!
I only know of one other person that had that distinction. A girl that I grew up with left Detroit and moved to Cleveland for med school at Case Western, and she also suffered both.
However, I will always now unabashedly BLAME THE WARRENS.
X the Owl, from Mr. Rogers.
X looks high as fuck!
Yep, I wonder if he does edibles or burns one, much to Woodsy’s chagrin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2spZ-NDfS4&ab_channel=JonLajoie
X has been living the life for decades.
His nephew, and Lil’ WCS former favorite cartoon, O the Owl.
I fooking love Stevie Wonder. I’ve only watched about 15 minutes of the Grammy Awards show and it’s 15 times better than any VMA show for at least the past decade.
That’s more than he’s watched of it.
Hahahaha, it’s funny cuz he’s blind!
Allegedly!
Camel gets pissed off at guy who punched it in the head, literally stomps guy to death.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NeUl47jqbw
(takes ‘Punch camel in head’ off of bucket list)
If you want to see the unexpurgated video, Google will find it for you on reddit.
I watched that dude punch the camel, and I was rooting for what happened next.
“But if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.”
I saw a guy hit his horse at the fair once when I was a child. First chance he got that horse kicked him right in the forehead. You don’t come back from that.
What a great example of the saying “Fuck around and find out”
This was some good shit. We even got Bird Maths!
How badass are owls? No matter how brave and fierce the cat, ain’t never met one that even pretended it could mess with, or even hang around an owl.
Thanks for the kind Hippo words.
Mess with owls at your own peril. Just ask what’s about to be left of Thumper, here…
Look, this is no place for your snuff porn! Some of us have rabbits as pets! And feel no bunnies should ever die! And the greatest film about the Rapture – “Night of the Lepus” is showing how the bunny hating heretics shall be purged from this world and we shall all live in the burrows of our Lepus Gods!!!!! I bet I forgot my meds today.
Rabbits are considered prey by . . . everything. Even squirrels will kill them if they’re hungry enough.
That is why I kill squirrels, plus we have wooden shingles and they chew through it to get into our attic, fuckers.
I saw somwheres that owls in flight are almost soundless where other birds make much more noise
-Cliff Claven
As I am higher than a Chinese spy Ballon, is this line funny ” that was shorter than a game of Jenga in the Parkinson’s unit”?
even sober* is funny!
*pending peer review
Thanks, the thought came to mind but I can’t ask my wife as father died from Parkinson’s.
Let’s not forget our favourite owls:
“What a logo change! That was the first thing that I noticed.”
-Said by no one, ever
Clearly, the owls are modernizing and they’re not as furry as they used to be…
Shaved helps with aerodynamics.
Btw, it was decided during our lunch/drink session today that the Pro Bowl should be replaced by a Battle of the Network Stars type of competition.
See-through bathing suits included.
I would watch races between the players. And make it voluntary. The money <-> mouth dynamic between WRs and CBs would be off the roof.
Don’t know if I want to see Cameron Heyward in his banana hammock, but Battle of the Network Stars stuff would be watchable. 4v4 sand volleyball, tug of war, all sorts of shit like that. Although ISTR someone falling funny in beach volleyball and tore ligaments in both knees.
Maybe just the sideline reporters. I could go for some Erin Andrews vs. Melissa Stark jello wrestling.
Y’all remember Woodsy Owl?
Fourk. I forgot many owls.
You can’t make everyone happy owl the time.
“What, no Hedwig?” – Elisha
My apologies. He will be included in the companion piece, “Let’s remember some owls.”
And Athena’s. It sucked at seeking out suitors, but that’s another cup of nectar.
/twirls snifter of Diet Raspberry Mountain Dew
//looks for mop
The Angry Inch Owl
“Hey, I’m not an owl!” – Brett Favre
Nope, as they are intelligent.
I have no beef with the Pro Bowl. I just don’t care about a pro fitbaw All Star game. Unless QBs started throwing to the groin of conference rival star tight ends.
Football to the groin was an amazing video…
Award nominee! Oh the prestige…
(Gives self wedgie to hit those high notes)
♫ Fly by night, away from here! ♫
Now I’ll be listening to Rush all night. I just started Tom Sawyer.
[Silently hoping that my first post isn’t shutout, with zero comments]
Heh heh. When one of those posts gets invaded by tumbleweed, just say to yourself the truth:
I think this is my favorite owl. It had the guile and wit of early R2D2
I remember that one!! I liked that owl too.
I liked the titties in that movie better but the owl was cool.
Ooooooh Harry Hamlin!