![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Note: This is a post by LongtimeLionsLoser /*smoke bomb*/
So, this is my first time writing a post, and I’m already off to a terrible start, as I hoped that I would have sent it yesterday, but I am hopelessly behind at work given that there were 4 (Fourking FOUR!!!) snow/ice days for my kids this week at school. As will be a running theme in my posts and comments, the universe hates me (I am a Lions fan of 40 years, and an ex-Michigander now living in the abyss of the Plains states).
Having said all that, please remember that this is my first time. First times are usually awkward, messy, a little painful, and often without all parties reaching a satisfying climax. I guess that thems are the breaks.
Now, the topic that I volunteered to write about was the Prob Owl. Given that today is a sports wasteland, only rivaled by that summer day after the MLB All-star game when Fourk All is happening, you will get writing about a worthless event, from an only slightly less worthless writer. However, I did try to find some meaning in my ridiculous topic. I am nothing if not pedantic.
PROBABILITY OF AN OWL
In trying to understand the relative value of the Prob Owl (again, the answer is none, like the value of this post), I wanted to get to the root of it. The Probability of an Owl, noted
P(Owl) = N(Owl) / N(Birds)
* with N(Owl) being the total number of Owls on Earth and N(Birds) being the total number of Birds on earth – inclusive of owls.
Obivously, this probability is 23,000,000 / 50,000,000,000, or .046%.
PROBABLY AN OWL (a sampling of famous fictional owls)
Owls also symbolize different things in different cultures. For example, in Africa and the Middle East, owls often are symbols of death. However, in other cultures, such many European ones, owls indicate sagacity. Further, in Hindu culture, owls are a holy symbol. In spite of the insanity of the game today, this is how I view owls.
Now, from things that owls forbode, to things that owls actually represent in current culture. Many cartoon owls shape our impressions of owls. That asshat Tootsie Pop Owl never answered the question of my youth, “How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll
center of a Tootsie Pop?” That rat-vomiting sack of shiitake mushrooms always said “three” but he was about as reliable as our former Orange Overlord, Premier Trump.
Via postimages.com
We also have Owl from Winnie the Pooh. Now, he was my favorite, as he annoyed all of the other characters, and also acted superior. I love those type of people. Also, Owl from Winnie the Pooh really reminded me of Bill Barr, and I loved that. His character’s voice on the cartoon even SOUNDED like Bill Barr. I always found this hysterical.
Via postimages.com
Finally, we have the Great Owl from the Secret of Nimh. This one will haunt my soul until the day I die, so I now fully understand the cultural quandary of whether owls should be good omens or bad ones.
Via postimages.com
PROBABLY AN OWL – TEARS ADDITION (word works in both contexts)
Today’s Junior Owl is a game of some sort, probably, but it has no value and only downside (like my career). If you disagree with me, please go ask Robert Edwards about his knee.
CONCLUSION
I made no point, and channeling my inner Billy Madison dialogue, may God have mercy on my soul. However, please enjoy whatever sports that you watch today, and if you watch this Junior Owl, congratulations on being the one. Now, please discuss Owls, great and small.
Banner via Rush
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