Oh my god, look at that dork. Jesus, no wonder people hate that song so much. If I hadn’t just spent my hard-earned American cash on this computer I’d be very tempted to drive my fist right through it. I apologize if you have been unable to resist that temptation, but I am absolutely not going to reimburse you for it.
Anyway, today we’ll be drafting our own personal drummer boys, more specifically, drummers. Did they play the drums? Then they’re eligible. Look, don’t fuck this up, because that goofy bastard up there is the commissioner, and I do not want to be posting him more than the one time I already did.
Side note before we get started, the last couple of draft I haven’t really been too active because work obligations have gotten in the way. Tomorrow is no different, with two depositions in the afternoon. So from 1:30 to 4 you’re on your own, and without telling him beforehand I am arbitrarily appointing Rikki to be substitute commissioner during that time.
What can I say, the guy knows how to abuse power, and I respect that.
Anyway, drummers. With the first pick I’m taking Buddy Rich.
I’ll get a video of that drum solo in the comments, since I’m a moron and can’t figure out how to do it here. Well, I probably could, but it’s 11:18 pm and I’m on my second beer, (it was a busy day and night, and you could ask the dwarf why, but that fucker’s signed to an ironclad NDA, so good luck), and I frankly don’t want to.
Quick story, so as to satisfy the #content overlords: When I was a wee Cornblower I used to drive down to New Haven for the Jazzfest on the town green during the summers. 9 times out of 10 it was me and my friend Rick, neither of whom was 21, trying to find people who’d buy us booze, a goal I’d say we hit 50% of the time. The rest of our time was spent striking out with various women. Can’t imagine why women at a jazz fest weren’t interested in a couple of high school dorks with bad haircuts and worse social skills, but that’s New Haven for you!
Then we went on a night when Buddy Rich was the main event. Rick, who drummed, told me on the way down that this time we were going to watch the show. No Boone’s Farm, (strawberry, fuck yeah!), no humiliating efforts to get to second base. Buddy Rich was a god, I was told, and we were by god going to to watch the man drum. Which he did.
Rick was not wrong, Buddy Rich was a god, and he is the first pick in this week’s draft. The rest of you are on the clock.
My 5th and final pick is Gina Schock from the Go Gos
Great pick!
Tony Thompson was awesome in Chic then beastly for Power Station
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2vHbXI2p4k&pp=ygUZcG93ZXIgc3RhdGlvbiBiYW5nIGEgZ29uZw%3D%3D
Levon Helm.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11Y987Uf1wY
He wears his war wound like a crown.
Steve Gadd. Plays that great piece at the end of the song “Aja”, too. FUCK I miss when it absolutely didn’t matter what musicians looked like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou70vvjE8k4
Folks I have to bail for my depositions. You are now in the good hands of Rikki-Tikki-Deadly. I’ll check in later.
/checks in later
The dog is safe. Even got a cookie.
Clem Burke, of Blondie fame. Absolute lunatic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU3-lS_Gryk
Solid pick. His work on “Atomic” is the shit.
& good to hear that your dog is safe. I was reminded of a certain cover from The National Lampoon.
Great call.
4. Gene Hoglan/Pickles the Drummer
Ringo Starr. Anyone who can be on time to every recording session (source: Get Back doc) AND be quiet and professional all day while putting away at least four bottles of wine daily during work hours is a god damn GOD.
Plus he sobered up and became even happier. Exemplary in every way.
https://youtu.be/vWW2SzoAXMo
I was wondering how much longer he was gonna hang around. Would have been my next pick.
I grew up in a Beatles-centric household, so well done.
Tito Puente
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZQh4IL7unM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9kdDet7G14
Don T’s gonna have your legs broke.
4th round… Meg White.
/ deftly ducks thrown objects
// flees venue quickly via backstage emergency exit
Solid pick. She was on my draft board for later.
I forgot a guy, and if any of you take him in the next 15 minutes I am going to throw things at my dog.
You guys wouldn’t hurt a dog, would you?
Look at him. His safety depends on you
Well perhaps you should just tell us all who he is. I’m sure all of the totally ethical and not underhanded at all folks on here would be sure to not pick him for you.
Somehow, Danny Carey is still available? Uh, that’s the steal of steals.
Questlove.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBVta_4baio
Tommy Lee. I’m not a huge Crue fan, but Lee can play.
3. Jon Fishman. I don’t think he’s particularly highly regarded as a drummer, but a lot of his work has made me happy while I’ve been high, so I’ll give him some of that sweet third round money.
Plays one helluva vacuum cleaner as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z15ORtarX4
George Hurley. The man’s chops make it an obscenity this band ends up in the punk bin:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g4QkQVJTuP8&pp=ygUebWludXRlbWVuIHRoZSBwb2xpdGljcyBvZiB0aW1l
RIP D. Boone
Mickey Hart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rqb9uumP0PI
The other Van Halen brother was a good music guy too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M4_Ommfvv0&t=172s&pp=ygUZdmFuIGhhbGVuIGhvdCBmb3IgdGVhY2hlcg%3D%3D
He was my next pick. Tough gig when you’re one of the best drummer out there but your brother is a Guitar God.
3rd round – Ginger Baker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TH32ercNP0
Bill Brufford.
Period.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SDt1TLUbzY
Helen Obiri of Kenya takes the women’s Boston Marathon, just under 2:22. US woman got 5th.
2. Ronnie Verrell/Animal. Say what you want but he held his own here, at least for a little while.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJh9W3Gcpmo
The Commissioner will allow this due to specifying Ronnie Verrell as opposed to just Animal. And also because RTD is going to take over this afternoon and would just overrule anything to the contrary anyway.
Is this what it feels like to be a Federalist Society lawyer presenting an argument before the Supreme Court?
With my second selection, I take Nirvana-era Dave Grohl.
Dave Grohl is off the board. A drummer is a drummer is a drummer. His various bands and iterations do not matter. Probably should have made that clear in the post, but hey, you get what you pay for.
Whoa, whoa. Dave Grohl destroying his drums by jumping into them following the conclusion of a show was the coolest shit ever when I was kid.
This is some “completing the process of the catch” level assbackwardry.
However, I can see your point in that we wouldn’t want to confuse Eli Manning, who would see the guy from the “Food Fighters.”
No, I mean you have Dave Grohl and no one else can pick him by saying “Foo Fighters-era Dave Grohl.”
Sorry, my mistake. I was definitely doing the faux outrage.
I thought that you meant that since he sings/plays guitar now he wasn’t eligible. As can often happen, I messed up.
“I gotta get my pick in now for Animal.”
-Eli Manning, from behind the battlements of his pillow fort
I’m so pissed at myself right now.
Pick of the draft.
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Michael Shrieve. (Is still playing, I think)
Coincidence that Animal was picked right after I posted this?
i think not…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSp05euvRNU
The East African women have had enough of the US woman. She’s in 5th, and fading off the lead pack.
Since we’ve picked all the drummers I GAS about, here’s one for the shoulder guy, the foot guys, the cleavage guys, and the Tool fans. Meytal Cohen. Oy Vey!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Yw8aaqnnrg
Top American came in 2:09:54. And was 7th. Not sure I could drive from Hopkinton to Boston in that time.
Evans Chebet has won the Boston Marathon for Tanzanian glory. And several thousand dollars.
The US woman has the lead in the Boston Marathon. And by “lead” I mean she’s about 2′ in front of a pack of East African runners who are likely just humoring her since they have a good 20-30 minutes to run. But the announcers seem very excited.
2nd round, value pick, Mister Charlie Watts!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93H2Oo7sQYQ
I was going to steal him with my next pick. Nice job.
Interesting lil factoid:
“’Street Fighting Man’ was recorded on Keith’s cassette with a 1930s toy drum kit called a London Jazz Kit Set, which I bought in an antiques shop, and which I’ve still got at home,” Watts explained in 2003.
https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/the-rolling-stones-lo-fi-street-fighting-man/
Explains the distinct sound on that song.
I just read his authorized biography. He was an interesting guy. Loved cars, had a bunch of classic ones, never learned to drive. That’s the epitome of cool!
Unrelated, but if one acquires a gently used Fleshlight, does that make you and the previous owner Fleshkimo brothers?
Buddy Miles (another Buddy to could really hit them skins)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w05CYrXe4p4
the TR808, making beats since 1980
You’re all just making it easy for the machines to take over.
DJ 3000 will never escape the loop, so we’re good.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BeastieBoys/comments/i7d1os/nothing_sounds_quite_like_an_808/
I saw in a documentary that they went in to buy guitars and came out with the TR808. They started as a punk band when they first got together
“Great pick.” – DJ 3000
“Great pick.” – DJ 3000
I was going with a joke about recursion and DJ 3000 coming across this thread multiple times and commenting. Too obscure?
No, that’s on me for not getting it. It’s actually a terrific joke.
Thanks for the vote of confidence that my joke landed.
/lies. lol
They used his beats to create hip-hop. He never saw a nickel. Clyde Stubblefield:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7WQmqIIlhZo&pp=ygUdY2x5ZGUgc3R1YmJsZWZpZWxkIGNvbGQgc3dlYXQ%3D
“I’ll give him 3 cents for every nickel!”
-Jerry Richardson, probably
The original “Funky Drummer”
Man, how dare you do drummers while I’m driving up the coast?
Since Rikki stole my fave, I’ll start with Mitch Mitchell
https://youtu.be/Lw2L_vGUMtE
/pushes glasses up nose
I think that Jimi had moved on by then, and it was Buddy Miles on the drums for that song…
Fuck you’re right and i knew that.
That’s okay. You gave me the chance to be an insufferable know-it-all. So thanks!
That should really be the mission statement for all of these drafts.
Jerry Marrotta.
This is where some kind person would post Peter Gabriel Kiss of Life for reference.
Thanks for letting me draft Neil Peart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4hKhBuNF3Y&ab_channel=JamesEvangelisti
I didn’t draft him because a) my college roommate played so much Rush that I now can’t stand them and b) Peart’s a big Ayn Rand guy and that raises a lot of questions about his intangibles.
He was an Ayn Rand guy in his younger days, then grew out of it; it sucks but at least he didn’t die asking “Who is John Galt?”
“I don’t know him personally, but he’s got a file with us that’s about four inches thick.” – the records keeper at an Atlanta area STD clinic, circa 2005
Marky Ramone
The Ramones second drummer and, (I think), the oldest Ramone still alive.
?p=1
Important marathon update: An American woman has worked her way into 5th place!
I have the Boston Marathon on. If you have ‘East Africa’ as the region where the men’s winner comes from you can probably go ahead and collect your winnings.
You can probably do the same for the women, for that matter.
First round – Phil Rudd
Kind of a dick though.
many of them are…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFyGuuJJfKU
1. Keith Moon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-TczHXLF0g
Highly recommend this biography if you haven’t read it:
https://youtu.be/Lw2L_vGUMtE
This is my go-to song whenever I hear bad takes on Moon The Loon’s drumming
https://youtu.be/SKX6GOmTGBA
by my count, there are at least FIVE extremities being used while drumming
Aw, but getting drunk with power will disrupt my plans for getting regular drunk! Unless…wait, can you get two different kinds of drunk at the same time?
“Yes. Five, in fact.” – Britt Reid
Bill Ward
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X01Envh1kSA
With my first pick, I take the dude from Spaceballs, played by Terence Marsh (per The Google)
As promised, Buddy Rich
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9esWG6A6g-k
Christopher Guanlao, Silversun Pickups. The real-life incarnation of Animal (See video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG8fugqFn9Q
1st selection: John Bonham!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOSf9f5_qZ8
It was either him or Buddy, and I decided to go with the guy I’d actually seen play.
5:45 in… we’ll throw hands if thats nawt kick ass drummin…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRkA7ZFoIgQ
See you that and raise you In My Time of Dying. Just go to 5:00 if you want to get to the kickass parts.
https://youtu.be/scpqae3P7Dg?t=300
In honor of TWBS, there is this YouTube female drummer he always used to post:
A-YEON:
https://youtu.be/b_nGaikpN6k
Love the foot fetish camera.
“GODDAM, THAT’S JUST GOOD HUSTLE!”
“The lower left view of her feet really should be featured in Sexy Friday.”
-Rex Ryan
“I don’t know, there’s just something about her I don’t trust.”
– Bill Parcells