Monday Open Thread – Warhammer Memorial Day Edition

Per Usual: Images and links are from Lexicanum or the Warhammer 40k wiki

Today is Memorial Day in the US where we remember the sacrifice of our brave sailors, soldiers and marines by shopping for cut priced cheap shit, eating fire roasted flesh, and drinking heavily.  (I would also am very glad that Memorial Day does not fall during the NFL season because the corporate patriotism would create even more of a vortex of suck.)  So basically today is  normal day except lots of people have the day off from work, not those working for minimum wage as they of course don’t count for some reason.  Today we will remember the Thunder Warriors, the stronger, more vicious, and more combat proficient predecessors of the Astartes.  They are greater warriors than the Astartes, although they do not live as long.

The Thunder Warriors were genetically engineered by the Emperor as troops to help him unite Terra and the solar system under his rule.  From Lexicanum – Thunder Warriors were the elite super-soldiers that marched with the Emperor to conquer Terra in the Wars of Unification. The engineering that the Emperor used to create the Thunder Warriors, whilst creating superior fighters, was not as efficient as what was used later to create the Space Marines[3], nor was the technology as advanced or the geneticists as entirely willing.[5a] These proto-Astartes were organized into twenty regiments of no more than a few hundred warriors, each named by the Emperor himself.[4]

Each regiment had a Primarch, who were not any different from the rank and file warriors, they were just promoted based on performance and ability.  The Thunder Warriors individually could wipe the floor with any member of the Astartes, again from Lexicanum – Despite physical deterioration, the few Warriors that survived the end of the Unification Wars were easily more than a match for an Astartes, and had even outperformed Custodians during combat engagements. Even severely deteriorated Thunder Warriors shown capable of fighting multiple Astartes at once.[5b][8] They were made highly resistant to psychic attack, perhaps because of the sorcery they would regularly face during the Age of Strife, with any attempts at mental attack causing severe pain to the psyker.[8] They had tremendous upper body strength that was considered to be unparalleled, which when coupled with their early model of power armor, made them virtually unbeatable in close combat.[2][5b][8] The leg strength of even a heavily physically deteriorating Thunder Warrior made them capable of kicking completely through the torso of a normal human.[8] Their bones were thicker than that of an Astartes, with a Thunder Warrior capable of shattering the skull of an Astartes with a headbutt.[2] Their reflexes were also extremely enhanced, allowing a Thunder Warrior to dodge the shot from a plasma gun, while already engaged in and focusing on fighting two other Astartes.[8]

Unfortunately, the genetic template was a bit unstable, causing physical and mental deterioration in some warriors.  They could even drop dead in battle of no apparent causes, also, unlike the Astartes the Thunder Warriors did not have their emotions suppressed or removed and were renowned for having a very dry humor.  They could also be affected by blood lust and lose themselves in the carnage.

The Fate of the Thunder Warriors is a bit unclear, the Imperial line is that they died during the last battle of the Unification Wars at Mount Arat.  However, survivors of that battle have said that they were betrayed by the Emperor as he wanted to create more controllable warriors that were a bit more durable.  There were bands of survivors who spread out among the stars, one band attacked the Imperial Palace to try and get revenge for their fallen brothers and to also die in battle.  Some fomented rebellions on other planets or fought against the systems being brought into the Empire.

They fought for their Emperor and were faithful, but like all Dictators and Power Mongers, even he feared the troops he had created.

Have a great evening and an even better tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

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ArmedandHammered
Mid 50's geek/nerd, avid reader of Science Fiction and Fantasy, manga, Chinese Web novels, and British mysteries, cult movies are my thing (have you seen Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?)
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Gumbygirl

In memory of my mother’s fiance, lost in WWII in one of the Pacific naval battles.

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2Pack

Bad news folks. The mole is back under the veggie garden. Down 2 eggplant already. That asshole likes his eggplant. As long as he’s happy with that, a calm peaceful coexistence will prevail. If he goes after the zucchini… War is on the horizon.

Gumbygirl

Gopher Cong!

2Pack

I’d crawl down in there with a flashlight and 45 if I could. Got skills ya know

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Everyone: “Miami and Vegas are about to blow 3-0 leads!”
Miami and Vegas tonight: “Lolnope”

Don T

Breaking: web pile on in progress
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WCS

NAWT FACKIN FAIHHH

Don T

Sorry, but I can’t change. You knew my weakness was the classics!
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Last edited 1 year ago by Don T
Gumbygirl

That’s a damn shame. . . Hahahahahahahahahahaha[deep breath] hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Don T

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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WCS

CHOWDAH!

Don T

“Especially those of you on the jury” 🤣🤣

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Malcolm Brogdon was only on the floor for 7 minutes, scored zero points, and had a +/- of -15. I wonder if that’s some kind of record.

Horatio Cornblower

Went to a picnic at a friend’s house and got sucked in to a volleyball game with a bunch of college kids.

People, I have made some bad decisions in my life, but that one ranks down there with the worst of them. Everything hurts right now, and I’m pretty sure I got a sunburn to boot.

Brocky

I got a sunburn on top of my head today, I didn’t know I had lost THAT much hair

Gumbygirl

I remember my dad making the mistake of playing basketball with local teenagers when he was around 40. He was a great shooter, but a heavy smoker with a desk job. He was hobbled for days, but he put some points up on the ‘snappers!

yeah right

A simple volleyball game led to knee surgery number two.

Throwing that out there.

Senor Weaselo

Okay, now that that’s over, fuck Pat the Rat, go Nuggets.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t have anything against the Heat, really, but I am hoping that Denver absolutely obliterates them in the finals.

Horatio Cornblower

What are the odds Pat sidelines Spoelstra again so he can take one more run at the title? I would say very unlikely, but also not zero.

King Hippo

Wait, Pat Riley is still ALIVE??

Brocky

Following up on Ball’s comment from earlier

If you have a hot girl in your bedroom, which accent would you prefer she speak with?

So I’m going to a wedding on. Saturday. By buddy’s fiancee is from Chicago, but has family from Boston. She loves to bust out an impression of her grandma:

Cooper! Go to the cellar and grab a hammer!

Which translates to:

COOP-AH! GO TO THE CELL-AH AND GRAB A HAMM-AH!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That Singapore/Hong Kong style British accent is a really sexy one.

WCS

Conor McDavid isn’t going to sleep for a month now.

Mr. Ayo

That Dallas crowd really cleared out early.

King Hippo

which is WEIRD the Metroplex being such a hotbed of hockey PASHUN and all

Brocky

But enough about that playoff game where they gave rodgers the ball with over two minutes left with only three point lead

yeah right

Think I’ve mentioned this before but I’ve got color confusion vision. Not color blind exactly but my reds and greens process a little differently. The uniform choice in this game is hard as fuck to follow.

I was one of those people that had serious problems with that Jets Bills color rush Thursday night game a few years back.

Black and dark green look pretty much the same.

Be better NBA.

Brocky

Can you see melatonin? Just go by that

yeah right

I know the players so that helps.

Doktor Zymm

They’re not exactly highly contrasting colors even without color processing issues. The convention of one light and one dark uni is nawt a bad one, even if people tend to be boring and go with white for the light when there are tons of pastels available

King Hippo

These Thunder Warriors sound pretty cool, and great to have on one’s side in a bar brawl.

Doktor Zymm

My side in a bar brawl is the run like hell away side

yeah right

Grab the first cab is a good strategy.

Doktor Zymm

Or at least I assume so, as I’ve only been witness and nawt participant so can’t be sure of my reactions. I do have vivid memories of this tiny, probably teenaged, Hispanic gal at a show at Renzo’s in Silver Spring. She went down and in one smooth movement taking under a second broke her bottle on the table edge and sprung back up wielding the jagged glass remains. I would 100% run if she was coming after me

Brocky

Thunder warriors sounds like a recap of durant’s career

Don T

Dry humor clinches it.

King Hippo

rite???

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

After their worst three-point shooting of the entire season in Game 6, the Celtics open up Game 7 going 0 for 10.

Mr. Ayo

You hate to see it. Couldn’t happen to a nicer team, really.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Finally made a couple, but in that same time span Miami knocked down three of their own.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

0 for 11 now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

0 for 12.

Brocky

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7HD2xG92-0&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive

Abraham H. Parnassus before he met H.R. Pickens?

Brocky

Doubt he had the bone strength for it

Doktor Zymm

No way that’s a real sheep

King Hippo

yeah, the Welshman isn’t even hard FFS

WCS

It’s abundantly clear the Ice Persons problem is Jamie Benn.

Brocky

So, Boston basketball is more hateable than Dallas hockey, but which city is more hateable overall?

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, seriously? That’s not even close!

Brocky

Humor me?

Doktor Zymm

Dallas isn’t interesting enough of a city to be truly hateable for me. Boston can be a lot of fun, with a lot of great moments, but then something really nasty will ruin it. It’s like eating a delicious cake flecked with earwax chunks, so you never quite know when you’re going to want to scour yourself from the inside out with cleansing fire, but you know it’s going to happen and you’re going to regret everything

ballsofsteelandfury

I have been to both Boston and Dallas multiple times. I have friends that live in both cities.

Here’s the defining factor:

If you have a hot girl in your bedroom, which accent would you prefer she speak with?

Horatio Cornblower

STICK IT IN ME YOU FAHCKIN’ FAHCK!! MAKE ME THINK YOUAH MAHKY FAHCKIN MAHK!!

Yeah, I kind of see your point.

Gumbygirl

I don’t know whether to laugh or hurl.

Mr. Ayo

Vegas was the grassy knoll all along

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqp98ujTs8s&ab_channel=JAYKOOL

Game 6 that feels like a Game 7 preview, while an actual Game 7 happens.

Memorial Day usually gets me down, and this one wasn’t much better, but this will be enjoyable.

Cheers to those who didn’t make it, and cheers to those are still around to know what shit war really is.

Doktor Zymm

Thunder Warriors sound kind of like Soviet soldiers under Stalin.

I went to an AFL game on Anzac day and I was amazed at how tasteful it was.

ballsofsteelandfury

Man, I remember staying at the Imperial Palace in the 90s. It wasn’t the best place on the Strip, but it was the cheapest for the location!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would like to create a legion of Chaos Space Marines to represent the Las Vegas Raiders. They will be known as “Liar’s Dice”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d have thought they would represent the Lions. Or the Browns.

Wait, is the lamenting justified? If not, they could be the NAWT FAY-UHs!