Monday Morning Mock Draft: Sue Me, I Like Baseball

I watched a lot of baseball this weekend.  The College World Series was good, mostly because Virginia wiped the floor with Duke.  I think that means they advance to Omaha for a 4-team final play-off, but I’m not really sure.

I also watched some professional games.  Turns out Bryce Harper is still alive and in Philadelphia.  Who knew?  And as I tap this out I have the Yankees-Red Sox game on.  It’s 2-2 in the 9th and painful to watch. Without Aaron Judge the Yankees would have a hard time with a good D-1 program, but fortunately they’re playing the Red Sox tonight,

And we’re going to extras.  Delightful.  At least with the new rules we’re still barely at the 2.5 hour mark.

Anyway, this week we’re drafting movies concerning baseball.  Ideally any picked move should center around baseball, but because I suspect that might limit the pool after a couple of rounds we’re going to expand it to any movie where something related to baseball plays a noticeable role.  As a for instance, if you wanted to draft ‘The Untouchables’ because at one point De Niro’s character takes a baseball bat to someone’s head, you go right ahead.  TV movies are OK, TV series are not.  Mini-series or specials are OK as long as it’s Ken Burns’s documentary about baseball, otherwise just stop being a dick and find a movie.

With the first pick I will not, surprisingly, take Kelly’s Heroes, much as I would like to keep beating that dead horse.  I spent a significant amount of time looking for any sign of baseball in the movie and came up empty.  Instead I will take what I think is the best baseball movie of all time

and also one of the best movies ever anyway, ‘A League of Their Own’

The rest of you are on the (pitch) clock

 

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ballsofsteelandfury

Horatio is going to have some softball/baseball distinction comment, but this is a highly underrated Tom Hanks flick:

The Man With One Red Shoe

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Last edited 1 year ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh shit! I thought of that early this morning and promptly forgot it after it was superseded by The Naked Gun. Nicely done!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No one has told me to stop so…..next pick! A Few Good Men. In addition to the Thinking Bat, Tom Cruise hits some balls.

Baseballs, you cretin.

https://youtu.be/fzz3ykZnebU

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[pushes glasses up nose]

“You’re a lousy fucking softball player, Jack!”

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/c80049e2-6539-49a3-9e95-7d93855fa6b2

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The thinking bat alone makes it count.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I could do this for days, so….do you want me to do that and keep going or should this documentary be my last pick?

Catching Hell. Yes, it’s the Steve Bartman documentary in case you didn’t have enough PTSD already as a Cubs fan.

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Sharkbait

I still maintain that we’re only in this hellscape reality because the universe couldn’t handle David Bowie dying and the Cubs winning the World Series.

WCS

If I’m reading this correctly, and any one of the dozens of law-talkin-types we’ve got here they can dispute this, but it’s still on the board:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy3MtznDeqg&ab_channel=ThatSceneFrom.com

The Untouchables’ because at one point De Niro’s character takes a baseball bat to someone’s head, you go right ahead. 

No one has until now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

And obviously everything with Pudge

https://youtu.be/8SxE_NfUX6w?t=47

Last edited 1 year ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

5. Shockingly, I managed to find a (good) science fiction movie that fits the draft criteria (at least in a late-round capacity). Men in Black!

https://www.bloggingmets.com/12986/shea-stadium-in-movies-men-in-black/

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Baseball is even more central in the third MIB!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It certainly is, though the movie isn’t as good. Not a bad movie at all – but the first one is far and away the best of the bunch.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
LemonJello
SonOfSpam

I tried to watch this when it came out on cable, and it was just awful.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I enjoyed it, but clearly I have a soft spot for baseball movies

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Soul of the Game, a dramatization of the breaking of the color barrier through the relationships between Satchel Paige, Josh Gibson, and Jackie Robinson. I watched it a bunch of times and have never met anyone else that has, but it’s apparently available for free on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiDULxPh0hU

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BeefReeferLives

The cinematic masterpiece: Battlefield Baseball.

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LemonJello

This Batman reboot sucks.

scotchnaut

Is there room for one more in BFC’s head? (gross)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c2jp8WyXms&ab_channel=simsinca

Last edited 1 year ago by scotchnaut
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nope, I hate that movie with a fiery passion, so that is NOT on my board.

scotchnaut

Me: “Hey, calm down, have a drink of water.”

BFS: [makes hideous noises]

Me: “Oh shit, you hated the movie because the good guys lost, right?”

SonOfSpam

This gem from the 70s was fun

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yeah right

That’s a solid pick.

scotchnaut

Time to get creative-here’s Meatloaf: In Search of Paradise because he sings Paradise by the Dashboard Light and of course there is the baseball radio announcer (pervy!) liking that kid’s chances as he rounds third.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdJBMvGGFc8&ab_channel=TrailersandMovieclips

Sharkbait

Horatio, did you name your dwarf Eddie?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Gaedel

Sharkbait

It had to be done. My apologies.

scotchnaut

Has no one heard the old saying, “What happens in Horatio’s locker, stays in Horatio’s locker”?

BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS GUY BEEFREEFERLIVES I CALL HIM LEMONJELLO BECAUSE HE’S ALSO IN MY HEAD

BrettFavresColonoscopy

https://youtu.be/Cu2gVjiE6Uw?t=99

Here’s my first only tangentially related to baseball movie, and then I’ll get back to core baseball movies.

Bad Boys! Tea Leoni is even hotter when she’s swinging a louisville slugger.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“THIS MOVIE HAS A MONKEY IN IT HOW ON EARTH WAS IT NOT THE #1 OVERALL PICK?” – Eli Manning

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ns29dh4yok

LemonJello

Co-starring Tom Selleck’s mustache: Mr. Baseball

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNkigwmbUrg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dammit, that was on my board (though probably not next). LemonJello, are you in my house?

LemonJello

The rug really ties the space together, man.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I remember liking this movie fine but man oh man did the critics disagree.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It was a ton of fun, and sweet. Fuck the critics.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh, we did!” – the cast of The Girls Next Door when discussing how best to promote their show

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was on my radar but I was too busy drafting movies about vampires and chimpanzees.

scotchnaut

A baseball doc? Kinda, sorta. Long Shot is about that guy that proved his innocence because he was in a crowd shot from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDxISykYRc4&ab_channel=Netflix

Last edited 1 year ago by scotchnaut