Some personal news: I am headed off on vacation to Europe for three weeks tomorrow with Lady Maestro! It’s my longest and furthest trip ever – greatly looking forward to Paris, Normandy, Brussels, the Austrian Alps, and Munich. It also means that for the first time since the [Door Flies Open] CFL Beat launched back in 2016, I’ll be passing the reins over to a few guest writers to fill in during my absence. I am extremely grateful for their help and look forward to reading the Beat during my time away!
In league news this week:
- Shortly after Hamilton announced late last week that they were sending DE Ja’Gared Davis to Calgary in exchange for a sixth-round pick in the 2024 CFL Draft, the CFL voided the trade. Davis failed his physical with the Stamps and will remain on the Ti-Cats’ roster.
- The league’s live stats are still not up and running yet. Randy Ambrosie had a radio interview back in June in which he stated that he was certain that PFF would have everything set and ready to go by the end of the month… and here we are, in August, and still nothing. If I were a gambling addict, similar to some of yinz, I would be even more mad about this than I already am. This is a baseline minimum standard that professional leagues are supposed to adhere to. It’s inconceivable that this hasn’t been rectified yet.
- Toronto released WR Markeith Ambles, who recorded career highs last year with 72 catches for 737 yards and 5 TDs. He started the season on the six-game injured list after getting hurt in training camp; I would expect to see him picked up promptly.
- Montreal signed 3 players, including former Ottawa REDBLACK Randall Evans, who was their starting boundary cornerback through 2021 and half of 2022. I’ll be curious to see how quickly they throw him into the fire.
- With the team now sitting at 0-8, the Edmonton Elks demoted offensive coordinator Stephen McAdoo to an advisory role on defence, and elevated QB coach and pass game coordinator Jarious Jackson to the role of OC. Jackson worked as an OC in BC and Toronto from 2018-2021 prior to his arrival in Edmonton last year, so Chris Jones, floundering as he is as head coach, is mercifully not throwing a rookie coach into the position. Taylor Cornelius is almost certain to be benched for the foreseeable future, leaving it up to Jarret Doege and Tre Ford to duke it out for the starting job for the remainder of the season.
- Edmonton also revealed a new helmet logo, designed by Metis and Cree artist Conrad Plews, that they’ll be wearing for this week’s game against BC. It features a stylized elk in the style of traditional Indigenous art of the Great Plains, and looks really sharp.
Onto the games!
WEEK 8 RECAPS
Hamilton 16 vs. Ottawa 12: The REDBLACKS had five – yes, five! – interceptions last week on Bo Levi Mitchell, and still couldn’t find a way to win, let alone to even turn those turnovers into anything meaningful. The team failed to find the end zone all game long as the Ti-Cats’ D elected to put a spy on QB Dustin Crum for the whole game. Even though they turned the ball over a ton, the Tabbies’ D got the job done, racking up seven sacks, and the visitors’ winning score, fittingly, came on a very weird series of events. First, Ottawa DB Brandin Dandridge picked off Bo Levi Mitchell for the team’s fourth INT of the game, but receiver Terry Godwin forced a fumble, and Hamilton pounced on the loose ball, getting a fresh set of downs. On the very next play, Bo Levi Mitchell hit third-string QB Kai Locksley, who played receiver for this game, on a screen pass which he took to the house on the very last play of the third quarter. Unfortunately for Hamilton fans, Bo Levi Mitchell broke his leg on the second-last play of the game – an inexplicable decision by the coaching staff to leave him in so late, even with the team deep in their end zone. He’s once again on the six-game injured list, and man, is that going to absolutely suck for both him and for the fans, especially considering he literally just got off that same six-game injured list last week.
PICK: Ottawa
RESULT: Hamilton
Saskatchewan 13 vs. Toronto 31: The Argos won their second straight Touchdown Atlantic game and improved to 6-0, a feat they haven’t managed since 1935, when the team was a charter member of the “amateur” Ontario Rugby Football Union. Curiously, despite the lopsided score, it was a pretty quiet night offensively. Coming off the heels of two straight 300+-yard passing games, QB Chad Kelly was held to just 122 yards on 13-21 pass attempts plus a TD and a pick. The D and special teams more than made up for a mediocre offensive game, as return man Javon Leake had a sensational 71-yard kick return score, and DB DaShaun Amos hada 58-yard pick-six on the Riders’ Mason Fine. Fine, who struggled once again, was yanked late in favour of Jake Dolegala, who went 4-5 for 100 yards and Sasaktchewan’s only TD of the afternoon to Shawn Bane, Jr. who pulled in the 30-yard score with only a few seconds left on the clock.
PICK: Toronto
RESULT: Toronto
BC 27 vs. Edmonton 0: It’s the Lions’ second consecutive shutout victory over the Elks – something that hasn’t happened in the CFL since 1959, when Edmonton shut out Saskatchewan twice that year. To make matters even worse, the Elks couldn’t even make it into the red zone in either game against the Lions – and it also extends their home losing record to 21 consecutive games, making this streak the longest in North American pro sports history. It’s the only time the Elks have ever been shut out at Commonwealth Stadium as well. Yeesh. They were exactly as bad as you imagined them to be. This may be the worst football team I’ve ever seen. And I’ve suffered through the 2019-2022 REDBLACKS seasons. This team truly takes the suck to a whole new level. They had 13 penalties for 177 yards, which until very late in the game was more than their total offensive yardage (which ended at 219 total yards). The Lions really didn’t have to break a sweat this game. Dane Evans was a consummate game manager, protecting the football extremely well and consistently making good decisions, though certainly not any flashy football. WR Justin McInnis and RB Taquan Mizzell each had a touchdown catch from Evans, while Sean Whyte kicked four field goals.
PICK: BC
RESULT: BC
Calgary 18 vs. Montreal 25: Neither team had an offensive TD, but this game still came down to the wire despite being overall a defensive battle. Jake Maier’s interception problems continue for Calgary – he threw two more on the night, which puts him at eleven on the season – and he was fortunate to still stay competitive in this one due to the Stamps’ strong defensive effort, which made life similarly difficult for Montreal’s Cody Fajardo. The only TD on the night came from Montreal CB Kabion Ento, who had a 53-yard pick-six in the second quarter. With the Als up by seven points with less than three minutes to play, Maier and the Stamps looked as though they finally had some offensive momentum, as they picked up three first downs, but Maier threw his second pick of the game at Montreal’s 31 yard line and allowed the Als to get the ball back and kill some clock. After another fantastic defensive effort, Calgary got the ball back at Montreal’s 10, but once again couldn’t score. Stuffed late, the Stamps drop to an ugly 2-5 with a really tough month ahead of them.
PICK: Montreal
RESULT: Montreal
BYE: Winnipeg (5-2)
WEEK 9 PREVIEWS
BC (6-1) vs. Winnipeg (5-2), Thursday, August 3rd, 8:30 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): The last two times these teams met, also in Winnipeg, the Bombers got uncharacteristically dismantled at home. It was one of the most lopsided losses I’ve seen from Winnipeg in years – and no doubt that’ll be on every single player’s mind going into this one. The key difference this time around is that BC won’t have Vernon Adams, Jr. under centre – Dane Evans will make his second consecutive start for the Lions. He wasn’t flashy last week, but considering the turnover struggles he had in 2022 with Hamilton, the Elks game was arguably a textbook performance from him – he didn’t throw any picks, moved through his reads well, and did everything necessary to put his team in the driver’s seat. While Winnipeg sits second in the West, let’s not forget that they are a similarly deep and dangerous team – and with Kenny Lawler in the lineup at receiver, the BC secondary will be spread wider on the field than they were a few weeks ago with so many weapons to watch. That said, the Bombers’ secondary is still really good. If they can rattle Evans early, there’s a reasonably good chance he’ll fall to pieces similar to what happened with the Ti-Cats.
PICK: Winnipeg
Toronto (6-0) vs. Calgary (2-5), Friday, August 4th, 9:00 PM EDT (TSN, CFL+): The Stamps have a brutal August ahead of them – first this game against the Argos, then BC, Winnipeg, then Toronto again. At 2-5, they’re going to need a lot to go right for them to get back into playoff consideration – they may only be a game behind Saskatchewan for the third and final spot in the West, but this month is probably going to determine their fate for the rest of the year. While we’ve seen in recent seasons that Calgary has started slow and turned things around towards the end of the year, things just feel a little different to me. Change is probably coming if the Stamps can’t sneak a win either this week or next – Toronto, meanwhile, can’t afford to get complacent despite a three-game cushion on the division title even before the halfway mark in the season. They should be able to handle just about anybody – the question is now more whether they can maintain mental focus as we get deeper into the year.
PICK: Toronto
Montreal (3-3) vs. Hamilton (3-4), Saturday, August 5th, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): Montreal beat the Ti-Cats at Tim Hortons Field back in Week 3, which saw the home team booed off the field. They’ve rebounded somewhat since that game, but still have an upward battle ahead of them with QB injuries being so contagious in the locker room thus far. Bo Levi Mitchell is out long term again, and Matt Shiltz is still on the six-game list – they could really use him back soon. Rookie Taylor Powell will start again, and he got mauled by the Argos a couple weeks ago. Montreal has quietly put together a very good defensive unit this year, and with Shawn Lemon now in this mix as a pass-rusher, a bit of pressure might make Hamilton’s young QB crack again. Finally, it’s been cool to see Cody Fajardo have good chemistry with receivers Austin Mack and Kaion Julien-Grant – with Tyson Philpot back off the injured list, that’ll give him another great target. The real question is whether they can all work together to be more effective in the red zone and not have to rely so much on kicker David Coté to get points on the board.
PICK: Montreal
Ottawa (3-4) vs. Saskatchewan (3-4), Sunday, August 6th, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): Two teams with identical records, in similar predicaments with their starting quarterbacks out for the season. Ottawa couldn’t muster a Crumback last week as Hamilton had one man on him like glue at all times, and it looked as though they’d found a way to contain him in the pocket and force some mistakes. If Saskatchewan can study that film well, I see a chance for them to do likewise here. Rookie quarterbacks are always a series of highs and lows – I hope that Dustin Crum learns from last week and is able to make some better choices, but I also hope that OC Khari Jones does a better job with playcalling and can work on protecting him better and getting the ball out more quickly. These really are two very similarly matched teams – I wonder if we’ll see more of Jake Dolegala for Saskatchewan, as Mason Fine hasn’t really looked so fine in his two starts under centre thus far this year.
PICK: Saskatchewan
BYE: Edmonton (0-8)
STANDINGS AND STATS
East Division Standings
Team | Games | Wins | Losses | Points For | Points Against |
Toronto | 6 | 6 | 0 | 217 | 124 |
Montreal | 6 | 3 | 3 | 131 | 129 |
Hamilton | 7 | 3 | 4 | 146 | 207 |
Ottawa | 7 | 3 | 4 | 152 | 158 |
West Division Standings
Team | Games | Wins | Losses | Points For | Points Against |
BC | 7 | 6 | 1 | 182 | 94 |
Winnipeg | 7 | 5 | 2 | 190 | 147 |
Saskatchewan | 7 | 3 | 4 | 138 | 178 |
Calgary | 7 | 2 | 5 | 170 | 192 |
Edmonton | 8 | 0 | 8 | 105 | 212 |
Passing Yards
- Maier, CGY – 1928
- Collaros, WPG – 1923
- Adams, Jr., BC – 1548
Passing TDs
- Collaros, WPG – 13
- Adams, Jr., BC – 9
- Maier, CGY – 8
Rushing Yards
- Oliveira, WPG – 526
- Ouellette, TOR – 427
- Morrow, SSK – 374
Receiving Yards
- Jones, SSK – 548
- Bane Jr., SSK – 527
- Begelton, CGY – 507
Defensive Tackles
- Awe, CGY – 58
- Dean, SSK – 46
- Thurman, HAM – 46
Sacks
- Betts, BC – 10
- Jefferson, WPG – 8
- Leonard, EDM – 6
Interceptions
- Houston, WPG – 5
- Dandridge, OTT – 4
- Daniel, TOR – 4
Field Goals
- Paredes, CGY – 22
- Ward, OTT – 21
- Whyte, BC – 20
PICK POOL
Pure chaos this week. Thanks to a few inconsiderate assholes who had the audacity to pick perfectly this past week, I’ve been knocked off my second place slot on the podium all the way down to fifth. Keep this up and I’ll ban you from the entire internet.
Remember to submit your picks here! https://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=221760
Rank | Total Points | Weekly Score | Win Percentage |
BC Dick | 26 | 3-1 | 83.87% |
Ballsofsteelandfury | 22 | 4-0 | 70.97% |
WCS | 22 | 4-0 | 70.97% |
SonOfSpam | 21 | 4-0 | 67.74% |
The Maestro | 21 | 3-1 | 67.74% |
blaxabbath | 21 | 3-1 | 77.78% |
Mr. Ayo | 20 | 3-1 | 64.52% |
Game Time Decision | 20 | 3-1 | 64.52% |
Litre_cola | 19 | 2-2 | 61.29% |
Gumbygirl | 18 | 2-2 | 58.06% |
BugEyedBoo | 18 | 2-2 | 58.06% |
Tank Bricklayer | 5 | 0-4 | 18.52% |
The Revanchist | 2 | 0-4 | 6.45% |
Enjoy the games, everyone.
Have all the fun on vacation!
No! Leave at least a little fun for the rest of us!
Have most of the fun. Fun in sufficient quantities. Fun a’plenty!
The Most Fat Hump / Indiana Thing Ever:
“SANTA CLAUS, Ind. (WFIE/Gray News) – If you’ve ever wanted to ride in an oversized gravy boat, now’s your chance.
A new family coaster, Good Gravy!, will open to the public in May 2024, at Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana.
According to Holiday World officials, guests will board a train shaped like a giant gravy boat which will be pulled backward uphill before flying forward through the station onto a cranberry-colored track, hitting a max speed of 37 mph.”
https://www.wsmv.com/2023/08/02/gravy-themed-roller-coaster-set-open-theme-park-next-year/
Fun for the whole fat family!
Embrace the memes!
What, no turkey cloaca portion of the ride??
I missed yesterday. Did Gumbygirl describe how Gumbyguy mistook “Cure” and “Cult”?
He had some long- winded, nonsensical explanation, but I’m pretty sure it was just an edible induced brainfart.
I blame the Navy.
That’s probably it.
https://twitter.com/liz_churchill10/status/1687148286023540747
The way my kid is acting since turning 5, I’ll sign up to serve a dime tomorrow.
So many people believe this shit. A really strong COVID variant would help.
God, enough with the “cult vs cure” stuff already.
ok that was really good
🏆
& speaking of pedophile enablers: Jim Jordan.
Fuckin’ Ohio.
Ah yes, the former GOP faction of Reagan+Bloomberg that so well handled the giblets of little boys.
I miss the “moon landing is fake and floride is in tap water for mind control” conspiracy theorists. Maybe if the mob assassinates JFK Jr we’ll have a better outlet for these people to go back to believing kooky, relatively harmless stuff
Wake up Cthulu!
safe travels Maestro. enjoy the time away
Have fun Maestro! Storm all of the castles, pillage AND plunder, show those Olde Worlders who’s boss!
Speaking of tipping pools, last week was “upset round” in the AFL, so it was a bloodbath everywhere.
Also, balls, have you seen this yet?
https://www.foxsports.com.au/afl/teams/geelong-cats/afl-news-2023-jeremy-cameron-headbutted-by-patron-while-watching-cricket-fit-to-play-in-geelong-vs-port-adelaide-game/news-story/1708fb70b951b7bd7cdbd6bb6090ecdc
I….. I think I’m in love.
“Aug. 2 (UPI) — A Maryland woman’s unusual talent earned her a Guinness World Record when she let out a belch that was measured at 107 decibels.
Kimberly “Kimycola” Winter said she was encouraged to seek the world record for loudest burp (female) by viewers of her YouTube and TikTok channels, where often shows off her booming belches.”
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2023/08/02/Guinness-World-Records-loudest-burp/5591690995460/
Well shit, now I have to go buy a decibel device and see if Mrs. Horatio can break this record.
Montreal at .500, how average. If my mediocrity holds I’m gonna join the pool next year.
Oh dear god.
https://twitter.com/BCFC/status/1686997687084982272
Great, another team I have to hate/care about.
Any truth to the rumours that you and your lady are in a throuple with the PM’s soon to be ex, and that’s what caused the Trudeaus to separate?
(It would also explain why you’re hustling out of town…)
Here’s that indigenous logo – it’s cool as fuck. They should make this their always logo: