INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY…

DJ 3000 and various other robot entities remain trapped in a time loop inside the KDFO recording studio.  After his unexpected arrival and subsequent hazing, the robots (and cyborgs) are surrounding TODD MARINOVICH while he regales them with tales of his time as one of the cast members of That’s My Raiders! during its original theatrical run in the 1990’s.  

TODD MARINOVICH: …and then – and I swear to God this is what actually happened – this totally cherry Corvette convertible pulls up, and sitting inside are two of the American Gladiators.

MAXIMILIAN: WHICH ONES?

TODD MARINOVICH: Gemini and Laser.

JOHNNY 2.5: [touches shoulder cannon wistfully] MAN, I ALWAYS THOUGHT I COULD HAVE BEEN A CONTESTANT ON THAT SHOW.

RUSSELL WILSON: You know that you wouldn’t have actually been able to use your L.A.S.E.R. cannon on that show, right?

PETUNIA: You’re kidding, right?  Even at full size you’re not sturdy enough to compete with those behemoths.  You’d have to be completely reassembled after Breakthrough & Conquer.  Assuming they could even find all the pieces.

JOHNNY 2.5: YEAH BUT I’D HAVE CLEANED UP AT ASSAULT.

PED-209: [to TODD MARINOVICH] MAN…THOSE MUST HAVE BEEN THE DAYS.  YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE D.E.A. AND THE F.D.A. LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER…

TODD MARINOVICH: They were some pretty good times.  Came at a pretty high price, though.  So…not that it isn’t fun hanging out with you guys, but what’s the story on getting out of here?  I really miss the ocean and, um…something else.  Are we really stuck in here forever?

DJ 3000: THERE’S ONE MORE THING I CAN TRY, BUT I’VE BEEN KIND OF HESITANT, BECAUSE…I’D HAVE TO ASK SOMEONE FOR HELP AND I REALLY DON’T LIKE OWING THIS PERSON FAVORS.

PETUNIA: [sighs] I was wondering when this was going to come up.

DJ 3000: ANY IDEA WHICH LAIR SHE’S IN RIGHT NOW?

PETUNIA: I can make some educated guesses.  We’ll start with the one near Krakow.

MAXIMILIAN: [fiddles with the portal controls] NEXT STOP, POLAND.

CUT TO: INT. STATELY EASTERN EUROPEAN MANOR BUT ALSO EVIL LAIR – DAY. 

PETUNIA: Nope, nobody home. Let’s try the new place in Cape Town.

CUT TO: EXT. MODERN MANSION BUT ALSO EVIL LAIR – DAY. 

PETUNIA: Not there either.  Maybe the one in the South Pacific?

CUT TO: EXT. UNNAMED VOLCANIC ISLAND BUT ALSO EVIL LAIR – DAY. 

DJ 3000: LOOKS PRETTY VACANT.

RUSSELL WILSON: No smoke…is that volcano even active?

RQBOCOP: I’M NOT DETECTING ANY HUMAN LIFE THERE AT ALL.

PETUNIA: Oh, that’s right, she closed that place down after the…unpleasantness.  [thinking to herself] There’s no way…ah hell, Maximilian, try 35.9998 North, -115.0615 East.

MAXIMILIAN dutifully plugs the coordinates into the portal controls.

— [portal flies open] —

A man is sitting in a plush armchair, sipping brandy and reading from Volume 4 of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. He looks up in surprise.

MARK DAVIS: HI I’M MARK DAVIS!

PETUNIA: Oh! Hi Mark.  We’re looking for our friend Doktor Zymm.  Word around the campfire is that you’re pretty good at hide-and-seek.  I, uh, don’t suppose you’d know where we might find her?

MARK DAVIS: AS A MATTER OF FACT YOU CAN FIND HER RIGHT HERE BECAUSE WE’RE HAVING A SLEEPOVER THIS WEEKEND.

JIM NANCE 081-RD-92C: I wasn’t aware that you two, um…

MARK DAVIS: OH SHE’S NOT ONE OF MY TONIGHT GIRLFRIENDS SHE’S JUST HERE AS A HOUSEGUEST.  SHE SAID SHE NEEDED TO SET UP SOME “CHESS PIECES” FOR SOME KIND OF CONVENTION IN NOVEMBER. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY CHESS THOUGH.  DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A NICE GAME OF UP-AND-DOWN CHECKERS INSTEAD?

MARK DAVIS holds up a game set.

PETUNIA: Um…maybe later, after we talk to Doktor Zymm.  Is she nearby?

MARK DAVIS: SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO THE LAVATORY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK THERE.

PETUNIA: Excellent, we’ll do that.

MARK DAVIS: BUT BE SURE TO KNOCK FIRST OTHERWISE YOU WILL GET YELLED AT.

PETUNIA: [aside to DJ 3000] I’m sure he mean to say “laboratory”.  Maximilian, add fourteen thousandths to the latitude coordinate and six thousands to the longitude coordinates and decrease altitude by seventy-two feet.  [turns back to Mark Davis] Thank you very much for your assistance, Mark.

MARK DAVIS: YOU’RE WELCOME DO YOU WANT AN ELF BEFORE YOU GO?

PETUNIA: Come again? An elf?

MARK DAVIS: AN E.L.F. [holds up a package]

PETUNIA: Maybe next time, Mark. We’re kind of in a rush.

MARK DAVIS: OKAY BYE BYE MAGIC HOLE IN THE UNIVERSE FILLED WITH ROBOTS!

CUT TO: INT. UNDERGROUND LABORATORY – DAY. 

— [portal flies open] —

DOKTOR ZYMM is bent over a workbench, tinkering with a device.  As the portal opens behind her, we see her surreptitiously reach for what appears to be a soldering gun.  Once she has it in hand she spins quickly and points it at the portal.

DJ 3000: RELAX, RELAX,  IT’S JUST US.

DOKTOR ZYMM: Ah, my gut friend zee deejay.  I vas vondering vhen you would make an appearance. Guten tag to you as well, Petunia.

PETUNIA: Hi.

DOKTOR ZYMM: And my old compatriot Maximilian! Lange nicht gesehen!

MAXIMILIAN: SCHÖN, DUCH ZU SEHEN.

DJ 3000: I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW WHY WE’RE HERE.

DOKTOR ZYMM: Ja, I have been tracking zee progress of the anomaly you zeem to have caught yourselves up in.

PETUNIA: Can you help?

DOKTOR ZYMM: Perhaps, perhaps. You are avare of zee price of my assistance?

DJ 3000: [sighs] YES. ONE FAVOR, TO BE NAMED LATER.

DOKTOR ZYMM: Zat is correct! Und a dinner, zomevhere nice.

DJ 3000: VERY WELL.

DOKTOR ZYMM turns to the bench and theatrically pulls away a sheet.  It reveals a long cylindrical device with a small ring at one end, and a button on the other.  She lifts the device from the table and extends it towards the portal. 

DOKTOR ZYMM: Zis is zee Portal Expansion Nexus Interdimensional Loop Eliminator.

DOKTOR ZYMM passes the device through the portal into RUSSELL WILSON’s hands.

DOKTOR ZYMM: Also known as the P.E.N.I.L.E. implant.

RUSSELL WILSON glances at the object, then quickly sets it down on a desk and rubs his hands uncomfortably.

DOKTOR ZYMM: Zimply activate the device, and it will expand the portal and cause your pocket universe to be joined to zee real one. A “closing of the circle”, if you vill.  I would recommend you locate zee portal in its original position, however, to avoid any…complications.

PETUNIA: All right.  Much obliged, Doktor Zymm.  Maximilian? Set the controls for coordinates zero, zero, zero.

DOKTOR ZYMM: Viel Erfolg! Have fun fusing the universes!

MAXIMILIAN dutifully obeys and the portal returns to its original position in the studio – the view through it is the same as if it weren’t there at all.  DJ 3000 glances around the room at the various robots (and cyborgs) and JOHN DIMAGGIO and TODD MARINOVICH. 

DJ 3000: ALL RIGHT, IS EVERYONE PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR?

YETI: Quite, quite.

DJ 3000: THEN LET’S NOT WAIT ANOTHER SECOND IN THIS PRISON.  JIM, YOU’VE DONE THIS SORT OF THING BEFORE, WOULD YOU CARE TO DO THE HONOR?

JIM NANCE 081-RD-92C: With pleasure.

JIM NANCE 081-RD-92C picks up the P.E.N.I.L.E. implant and presses the button.  The ring at the end begins to glow, and then a series of electrical bolts reach out from it towards the portal.  The edges of the portal begin to glow and spark, and then the portal begins to expand, rounding itself out into a circle as it grows.  As it grows wide enough to encompass the entire room, it begins tracking backwards towards the robots (and cyborgs) and humans and once it has passed over begins shrinking once again, forming a sphere.  As the sphere fully forms, the circle shrinks down to nothing and disappears with a bright flash; at the same time the shimmering surface of the sphere jitters and suddenly turns clear. 

DJ 3000: DID IT WORK?

PETUNIA: Only one way to find out.  Let’s go outside.

The robots (and cyborgs) and humans file through the hallway and exit the station into the bright sunlight of Culver City.

JOHNNY 2.5: WE’RE FREE! OH JOY, WE’RE FREE!

RUSSELL WILSON: Praise be!

RQBOCOP: THIS IS INDEED AN IDEAL OUTCOME.

PETUNIA: Wait…

DJ 3000: OH FUCK! THE LOOP! WE NEVER STOPPED THE DAMNED LOOP.  NOW THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS STUCK IN IT WITH US!

JIM NANCE 081-RD-92C: Oh dear.

DJ 3000: [shakes virtual fist] DAMN YOU DOKTOR ZYMM! I WISH WE’D NEVER TOUCHED YOUR STUPID P.E.N.I.L.E. IMPLANT!

Suddenly, there is a loud series of chimes and several lights on DJ 3000’s consoles begin blinking.

PETUNIA: What was that?

DJ 3000: OH. THAT WAS THE NOTIFICATION THAT MY SUBROUTINE HAS FINALLY CRACKED THE ENCRYPTION FOR THE COMPILED PROGRAM THAT INCLUDES THE CLOCK RESET.

PETUNIA: So…you can stop the loop?

Several other buttons on DJ 3000’s console flash.

DJ 3000: I ALREADY HAVE.

YETI: One moment…you’re telling me that at the exact moment we realized there was a significant problem remaining, something happened that ensured that it would no longer remain as a problem?

DEUS EX MACHINA: [in a deep, booming voice] YES.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: [in Bender’s voice] Hey, I know you!

TODD MARINOVICH: So wait, we’re really back?

DJ 3000: WE’RE REALLY BACK.

TODD MARINOVICH: And we’re out of the time loop?

DJ 3000: WE SURE ARE.

PETUNIA: Just in time for another full season of NFL football, as it happens.

DEUS EX MACHINA: IMAGINE THAT.

PED-209: MAN, IT’S HOT OUT HERE.

RUSSELL WILSON: Yeah.  Let’s go inside and watch some football.

TODD MARINOVICH: Nuts to that, I’m gonna go get wet!

RQBOCOP: YOU’RE GOING SURFING?

TODD MARINOVICH: Yeah, that too!

TODD MARINOVICH runs off. The remainder of the robots (and cyborgs) and JOHN DIMAGGIO turn back towards the entrance to the studio.

DJ 3000: WELL, WHAT DO YOU FOLKS SAY TO DOING ONE LAST EDITION OF REQUEST LINE BEFORE WE GO?

ALL: Sure! / Sounds good! / AFFIRMATIVE.

DJ 3000: ANYONE GOT A TOPIC?

PED-209: I’VE GOT ONE.  HOW ABOUT WE CLOSE OUT WITH “ACRONYMS”?

DJ 3000: THAT’S PERFECT.  LET’S GO WRAP THIS THING UP.

PETUNIA: Hey Mr. Deejay? What say you play us off with a tribute to our old buddy t.W.B.S. and spin a little Greenday?

DJ 3000: CAN DO, PETUNIA. CAN DO.

Today’s theme is “acronyms”.  We’re looking for songs whose titles contain an acronym – or an initialism, or are performed by bands whose name forms an acronym (or are known primarily by their initials).  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?8Lu3_5t3eL and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Talking About a Revolution” by Tracy Chapman was ably solved by BeefRiverLives.  Thanks to everyone who participated for making this such a fun season of Request Line.  We’ll be back in February, though given the dearth of topics at this point I may have to get more creative with the format.  T.T.Y.L.!