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Teh Hippo n Ballsy Komedy Saturday Night JV Footy Thread

King Hippo

/

,

A gloriously full night slate this week.  Let’s just pretend last Saturday never happened, ok?

Ballsy: SO HAPPY to see the Cougettes on tonight’s banner picture! Let’s get on it! (Phrasing!)

Arkansas (+18) at LSU (7:00, ESPN)

Is there value to be had with Pig Sooey here?  I’d say yes, as Hippo is reticent to believe Brian Kelly (who killed a kid, y’all may recall) has sorted all his bayou issues just quite yet.

Ballsy: Hippo has asked me to write a 20 Questions post on what this young lady is looking at. Any suggestions?

Oregon State (-2.5) at Washington State (7:00, Fox)

Game of the weekend, from a footballing AND pervert standpoint.  Niiiiiiiice Beaver gets the road favoUrite status in the Battle for the PAC-2 Title, but I’m feeling (giggety) Cougette-y.

Ballsy: All Day Every Day I’m picking the second girl from the right in the banner picture. God knows what diseases I’d pick up but you only live once dammit.

On a separate topic, have y’all heard about the proposal to add relegation/promotion in college football via a PAC 2/Mountain West merger?? I would LOVE for that to happen!

Hippo: Holy cats, I agree on both counts.

tOhio State (-3.5) at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)

Will Hippo be the only American to watch zero minutes and zero seconds of this?  FUCK OFF, media- and your ded silence as to the absolutely cowardly schedule that the Fluffed Irish play.

Ballsy: I’d watch just to see if the OSU with the non-sexual nickname can beat the absolute shit out of the Irish. Also this:

Iowa (+14.5) at Paedo State (7:30, CBS)

I absolutely expect Team Cornpone to both (i) cover; and (ii) get shut out here.

Ballsy: Dare I look for cheerleaders for either team? How many pages of Google results will I have to scroll through to find a good pic?

I take it back. Damn, Iowa! First result!

Southern California (-34) at Arizona State (10:30, Fox)

Absolutely not advocating y’all watch this, just a shameless plea for Balls to find MOAR Song Girl pics.

Ballsy: I aim to please.

UC-Berkeley (+21) at Wasington (10:30, ESPN)

This is the REAL Tweaker Picture, for the insomnia inclined.  U-Dub needs no extenze for its Mighty Penix!

Ballsy: Cal should be relegated

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yeah right

One of my best memories from the Portugal trip was at the craft beer metal bar with Dok.

This middle aged couple with an odd accent walked up to us to discuss our travel.

Dok steps up and says “I’ve got this. They’re Finns. They’re different.”

I defer.

They were different and they wanted to know where I got that delicious pork sandwich.

I’ll defer to Dok on any questionable travel situations.
It’s the safest bet.

3
SonOfSpam

She’s been to Hel(sinki) and back

5
Brick Meathook

You two went to Portugal together?

0
yeah right

She met me there between Turkmenistan and Normandy. We had a couple two tree days in country.

Me and Dok?

We go way back.

She’s the best travel buddy ever.

2
Brick Meathook

I’ve travelled with you twice . . .

1
Horatio Cornblower

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2
Brick Meathook

I’ve travelled with you too.

2
Horatio Cornblower

We’ll always have Harry’s Bar.

Harry won’t, after the health department gets there, but the DFO East Con meet-up will.

4
yeah right

Truth.

3
SonOfSpam

Aw, don’t worry. You’re a close second.

(he is not a close second)

3
Brick Meathook

I’ve travelled with you too.

1
SonOfSpam

Yes, on foot, to bars. It went fine!

3
Brick Meathook

Also on the L.A. subway

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’m just relieved she didn’t instantly snap both of their necks and then tell you “forget you saw this” before running out for a tarp, two shovels, and a bag of lime.

4
yeah right

/ afraid to say anything

4
Brick Meathook

tOSU coach is melting down

0
Mr. Ayo

Ryan Day, just a tad bit amped.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Ohio has a significant meth and opiate problem.

I’m sure the two aren’t related.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t believe Hippo is going to sleep now that they are going to show the USC Song Girls on TV.

1
Horatio Cornblower

And they’re playing ASU!

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3
Brick Meathook

That’s some maximum WonderBra action right there.

2
herodotus450

I’ll allow it, but be careful, counselor.

2
clint greasewood

-3.5 line

1
Horatio Cornblower

Aw man, if Notre Dame doesn’t go undefeated in the regular season how are they going to get to the play-offs and lose by 38 to an SEC team?

It’s a goddamn tradition!

5
Horatio Cornblower

If they overturn this call…

2
Mr. Ayo

VAR has no place here.

2
Mr. Ayo

Look at that. The Golden Domers went down at the last minute and delivered.

1
Brocky

Lol get fucked notre dame

2
Brocky

If you ever hear me compare notre dame to green bay, it’s shit like this unnecessary review

3
Horatio Cornblower

I agree with the announcers that OSU had receivers in the area, in that they did have receivers in the stadium.

1
King Hippo

Enjoy your Penix time, insomniac imaginary friends! Is sleepy time for pillhead.

3
Mr. Ayo

The Penix is mighty. However, us real tweakers are waiting for the Anime F1 race.

2
Brick Meathook

Speed Racer?

3
King Hippo

Not just Niiiiiiiiice Beaver, but resilient too!

1
Horatio Cornblower

I mean, those things can take a pounding.

6
Brocky

CJK5H

BKK1S

0
Redshirt

.

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5
King Hippo

This might just not be Ohio’s year. Unless #ThePauls (and I can’t even finish typing that)

3
Horatio Cornblower

Arkansas’s clock management here is exactly what I’d expect from a state with the educational standards of Arkansas.

4
Horatio Cornblower

Ah, jeez. I switched over to the ND game, they’ve got they’re green uniforms on and now I’ve got Lowratio hopping around the house like a leprechaun on meth.

Gonna need the big tranq gun for this one.

7
WCS

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6
Brick Meathook

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6
King Hippo

A note to y’all menfolk – my ex-father-in-law never changed a single diaper. In his entire life (2 kids, 3 grandkids). Now…he’s in diapers. I ain’t saying it’s Karmic punishment, but I ain’t NOT saying it.

/he also now sends texts to his kids that he means to be pornhub searches JEEBUS

5
SonOfSpam

Changing baby diapers ain’t fun. But it’s the fucking LEAST we can do after the Mrs had to house then squeeze out an infant.

Also, there are people on the dark web who will buy used diapers.

5
King Hippo

1) This is how I always thought, and made a point of doing at least 3/4 of the stinkies whenever I was around.

2) I very much would like to unknow that last sentence.

3
SonOfSpam

I made it up…but also, probably.

4
Horatio Cornblower

Arkansas QB has no conscience. Which makes this game hugely entertaining.

0
King Hippo

How shite must Minnesota be? They let Northwestern score TEN POINTS.

Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fucking hazing.

0
Horatio Cornblower

There was less holding involved in the conception of my children than there was on that Arkansas TD that just got called back.

1
WCS

So… does this mean there’s been a series of Lowratios? Like a pet dog?

What number are we up to? Four?

1
Horatio Cornblower

I have 2 kids, although grown and out of the house, which is a little bit of Paradise, not gonna lie.

As for Lowratio

comment image&ct=g

2
SonOfSpam

Well, only one in the sense that there’s only one Spinal Tap drummer.

5
King Hippo

I know we have several THEEEEEE grads here. Y’all fuck this up, I am holding each and every one of you personally responsible and will TOTES hunt you down.

0
Mr. Ayo

They don’t have Fightin in their name for nothing!

0
Redshirt

Bring it on!

0
Brick Meathook

Exorcist Believer???? First, they waited until William Friedkin died (or did they kill him?), and then they give it all away in the fucking television trailer.

1
Gumbygirl

Gonna permanently screw up another young girl, yay?

0
King Hippo

Pitt, you had ONE JERB. Nobody goddamned expected you to do it, but STILL.

3
WCS

Pitt’s QB hasn’t thrown a pick yet!

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(TRUE WCS FACT: the guy with the briefcase steeping aside is my old neighbor)

2
King Hippo

How casually did he mention that at the Halloween potluck?

2
WCS

He’s three decades older now, so no one has heard of the movie.

1
King Hippo

I keeps forgetting how fucking ancient Hippo be

0
Brick Meathook

Arkansas – LSU is pretty entertaining, in that full-blown redneck way.

1
WCS

Like watching a shine still blow up?

0
WCS

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2
Brick Meathook

Ya’ll can smell the grits n’ goiters

1
Mr. Ayo

Like watching a family tree recombine?

1
King Hippo

Like watching a rancher “break in” a new batch of livestock, with a few of his buddies?

1
King Hippo

Yuuuuuuuggggeeee gap opened in the Niiiiiiice Beaver D

1
Brick Meathook

RONALD REAGAN: Bonzo good, Angie Dickinson bad

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3
WCS

RONALD REAGAN: Deficit spending good, air traffic control bad

5
Brick Meathook

RONALD REAGAN: Dementia good, Jellybeans

3
ballsofsteelandfury

RONALD REAGAN: Blowjobs good. What were we talking about?

3
King Hippo

REAGAN SMASH!!!

4
SonOfSpam

RONALD REAGAN: Gays dying from AIDS good, Rock Hudson dying from…wait, he’s a what???

6
Horatio Cornblower

Fuck Ronald Reagan and is cocksucker of a wife.

1
LemonJello

Cougars’ QB got hit harder than Janay Rice

2
SonOfSpam

He would like to apologize for the distraction.

1
Gumbygirl

The greatest thing I’ve ever seen!
https://reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/TTPNiEPUWq

0
Brocky

Lol, I just looked it up, and IU scored more points in the first half (3) against OSU than notre dame did

0
WCS

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6
Brick Meathook

Hello! I’ve just resurrected from my glorious barbiturate-aided Saturday afternoon nap!

Which is the best game to watch right now? I ask this strictly from a viewer standpoint, as I have no wagering and/or hatred involved anywhere here.

2
Mr. Ayo

UNC – PITT

1
LemonJello

The 2-Pac showdown of Oregon St v Wash St has been entertaining so far.

2
Sharkbait

I took the entire month of August off from hockey to prepare for, and not injure myself prior to Sharkbait 2.0’s arrival (unlike when Sharkette was born and I was fresh off of shoulder surgery.

I played Thursday night and this morning.
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7
King Hippo

Yeah, I bet LITERALLY being unavailable for diaper duty landed you in the shark-doghouse

2
Sharkbait

Oh I never escaped that. I just couldnt pick her up. I could hold her and do everything else.

2
WCS

tOSU-ND in the barnburner of the millennium!

0
LemonJello

Are they trapped in the barn?

0
King Hippo

and the barn is on fire and the baby looked at me

2
WCS

Notre Dame is going Full Banana.

1
WCS

Won’t lie… disappointed it took till now for this.

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4
Mr. Ayo

I haven’t seen Beavers getting pounded this hard since two minutes ago.

2
Sharkbait

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y09YOkVmGg0

1
King Hippo

Lookit Wazzu managing the clock all proper-like!

1
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4zHFtmNVJQ&ab_channel=SkelatorRevisited

My uncle is seeing him right now.

3
yeah right

One of my favorite shows ever. Saw him at the Universal Amphitheater back in like 85. You can hear the entire show on his live album.

Tony Levin kicks all of the ass on bass.

1
WCS

Tony Levin is like 83 and still kicking ass.

1
Brocky

So the Ohio based team is scoreless against the indiana based team

0
King Hippo

Gumbygirl’s Blazers have their spark back this week, level between the hedges!

4
LemonJello

Fun Fact: “Between the Hedges” is Ryan Leaf’s current description of his housing situation

5
King Hippo

SNOB! – Jim T., railyard ditch

5
Horatio Cornblower

We really need to do a “where are they now” investigation on the featured image, because I’m willing to get that 2nd from the right has had an interesting life.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hmm…what kind of odds are you giving?” – Calvin Ridley

0
LemonJello

You don’t usually think of Cougars pounding Beavers, but here we are…

7
ballsofsteelandfury

They always do in the videos I watch…

8
King Hippo

Whatever you do, DON’T think about Gov. Huckabee Sanders in Pig Sooey cheerleader attire.

1
LemonJello

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4
Mr. Ayo

No need, just gaze upon this majesty.

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2
WCS

She having a stroke.

2
Mr. Ayo

If you let her, she’ll provide several strokes.

1
scotchnaut

If you let her For a few dollars more, she’ll provide several strokes.

2
LemonJello

When the AI eradicates us, this will be noted as the tipping point.

4
WCS

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4
LemonJello

These Cougars are scoring like it’s Moms Weekend on Fraternity Row

2
yeah right

I believe the young lady is watching her last shred of dignity flying away.

1
King Hippo

So it IS Jerral’s bollocks hanging out of the skybox?

2
LemonJello

“YYYYEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeHHAAAAAAAWWWWWWwwwwwww ADD THAT LITTLE FILLY TO MAH STABLE OF WHORES AND GET HER INTO THE ROTATION! I AM FUCKIN’ CRAAAAAAAZZYYYYYY!”

3
Gumbygirl

And the Lord sayeth to Ashley: I know what you did last night, harlot!

1
Gumbygirl

And Ashley was sore afraid. Really, really sore.

2
LemonJello

These Cougars are scoring like its Fleet Week and the Marines have just gotten off ship.

3
Gumbygirl

They have Fleet Week in Pullman? Consult a map, grunt!

3
LemonJello

I had to loan mine to the Lt…he’s around here somewhere, I think.

2
King Hippo

Winslow said he had to run to Target, sure he’ll be back soon.

2
King Hippo

But like seriously, what’s to stop the 2-Pac from playing each other 3, 5, or even 7 times next season? That would be fucking hilarious.

2
LemonJello

Cougars scoring like they’ve got a date with MILF Hunter-Z tonight.

4
King Hippo

I am glad my watching the last 2:00 ain’t jinx y’all. Looked like DOZENS in the stands!

Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
1
King Hippo

hey look HIPPO can use teh edit function. I am a GOLDEN GOD!!!

5
WCS

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3
Horatio Cornblower

Well that’s consistent anyway, since WVU will have dozens of students when Gee gets through.

1
WCS

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3
Mr. Ayo

I’m all in on the 2Pac Bowl Game.

2
King Hippo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3QelcVqaAc

4
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Damn usually when you disappear like that in the Pacific Northwest like that Gary Ridgway is involved

6
WCS

/Ted Bundy has entered the chat

1
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Ted Bundy was a Husky but would have fit in a straight Levi’s pair of jeans too

2
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