Kaloo Kalay! Up here in The Canada some folks have back-to-back long weekends due to Truth and Reconciliation Day and Thanksgiving falling where they fell-I’ve got six of the next ten days off (starting Friday afternoon) and am looking forward to it. How will I be celebrating? Well, first there’s a haircut and the ceremonial raking of the leaves and then who knows what frivolity will follow from that. A truly special time.
Wee Tidbits:
-Between a Rock and a Harder Place: (I’m sorry) So to no one’s surprise the XFL and USFL will combine their ‘assets’ and try to survive another year. Might I suggest a small contingent of owners take a whirlygig over to Saudi Arabia and shake some loose change from the bellyfolds of some sheik that wants some sports cred? Gotta be someone out there…
-The ESPN headline tells me that Burrow has used Rodgers as a counsel. I imagine the convo went something along the lines of, “That was great advice about calf injuries but I was thinking, I’m generally popular out their in the mediascape-how can I turn that around? Kidding, kidding.”
-Joe “One Year Wonder” Namath took a chunk out of Zach Wilson’s soul (I’m making a presumption here) with his comments. I’d note that the former’s career record was 62-63-4 That’s Eli Manning approved! and he tossed 173 TD’s and had 220 INT’s. If anyone can relate to shitty qb play…
To The Game!
Lions/Packers:
-Propage Alert! Maybe take the over on Sam Laporta’s 42.5 yds. He’s beat his number every week. And how about this Dontayvion Wicks and his 16.5? That’s over and done in one pass.
-Here’s two Love stats that I can’t square. His pass completion percentage is 53.1% and yet he’s sitting with a 7TD/1INT split. He must have gotten super lucky and that pick number has to rise. He’s not throwing catchable balls.
-There’s another thing going on as well-Lafleur is asking him to toss balls down the field and another statistical aberration becomes apparent. Green Bay opponents have been flagged for 154 yards worth of pass interference penalties. Dallas has the next best total and they’re at 76. The team after that is 54. Last year’s leader had 240 the entire year!
-Turn Around D?: The Lions D was near the bottom of the league last year but is in the middle of the pack (15th in pints allowed, 11th in yards yielded) after three weeks. I expect them to keep on improving.
-Detroit is 10-2 ATS vs their NFC North brethren recently.
Should be a good one.
(Door Flies Open)
(sees score, does double-take)
(Door Prudently Closes)
(removes and cleans glasses, rubs eyes)
(Door Flies Open)
(confirms score)
“Huh, I guess this is happening.”
Yeah, I did the same.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNAVrQ96mpA&ab
I’m going to build a time machine.
Then I’m kidnapping Travis Kelce.
Then I’m going to knock him out and dress him as an SS stormtrooper.
I’m going to take him to Berlin, 1945 as the Russians capture the city.
I’m hanging a sign around his neck that says, in Russian, “I raped all your moms”.
Then sit back and watch the fun begin.
no need, the swifties will do worse the moment they break up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLC9o_unLq4&ab
Is it me? Or is Jordan Love an Afro-less Phil Lynott?
Phil has a better passer rating,
Phil was good at his job.
Roy Orbison halftime show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6Aw3ZnqQrY&list=PL-dOBJ1ROfeJhcX7RIM7BBWnk2I1cm82Y&ab
Detroit-style pizza, 9/3/23
I will eat any kind of pizza except that gloppy, sloppy, mess of shit they call deep dish.
That is not pizza.
That is a warm pile of shit.
This is not deep dish. It’s actually really good.
He drunk. Can’t tell the difference between Detroit and Chicago at the moment.
“Get… get me the fuck… outta Columbus…”
— Bob H., WV mistaking The Louvre for Sydney Opera House while holding a garbage full of empties
Available here in Columbus. It’s good.
Jet’s Pizza
I live out in the sticks, and my choices are Jet’s, Flyers, and Donato’s.
I got this toy on Christmas morning. It was one of those real toys that fired rockets at an amazing speed.
I broke four Christmas balls on the tree, much to my delight.
I was sent to the cooler, on Christmas goddamn morning, for half an hour.
My dad could be a real dick.
The show that caused so many to become furries.
The all time, mac daddy, fucking A star wars toy
.
Awesome
This is my dog. She fits in great around here.
what a life. they were a Guatemalan nun in a previous life.
Fuck Ronald Regan!
Middle Fozz Spawn has been working his way back from a menicus tear – he tore it in half.
Got back into the rotation in football today.
Me: “How did you play?”
Middle Fozz Spawn: “I pancaked a motherfucker.”
So, it went well.
I’ve always had a soft spot for Detroit, now that soft spot has grown hard due to this game. If ya get my drift.
me too, lovable losers. Now lovable nut kickers, we all side with
“da frozen tundra will rule all”
your stadium is a victim of climate change which your gerrymandered state wont acknowledge
Menopause? Football game?
Crying? Baseball?
Football? Chicago?
Life with kids? Sober?
real packer fans, fat old cunts
I’ve been dealing with my wife’s menopause for about 109 years, ain’t no medicine gonna cure it. Bourbon helps, but it’s not a silver bullet. Actually, a bullet could solve things but I’m too pretty for jail.
Ladies and Germs, I have entered the room, you may all take your seats.
Fuck that, am 5 beers deep yelling.
::its half time:::
I would, but you melted all the seats.
Did you bring the dog?
She’s out knocking over trash cans and breaking into cars
she on the pill?
asking for a friend
For you Packer Fans (which are all hiding)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTRCJHDVL00&ab
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDcHS9jUbmY
Talkin bout good QBs?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-IUB62zDlA&pp=ygUgdmFuIGhhbGVuIGFpbid0IHRhbGtpbiBib3V0IGxvdmU%3D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBzSmZUiNic
100% assembled in America from foreign built parts
And those glorified lego builders are on strike? For more money? Not on MY watch!
/redeems Medicare
Rub it in Lion Bros. After football all these punk ass Packer fans have is beating their wives. Fuck Green Bay
ive been seeing these fucks happy since i was in 4th grade. im over 40 now. the time to pay the piper is long, long overdue
Hell yeah, no joy in cheese land
There no true of week in DFO. But this is it.
“‘Micro precision’ is total bullshit.”
— Deanna F., MS
If there’s one team that can fuck this up, it’s the Loins.
“Fuck what up?” – the Bears
THESE PACKERS I CALL THEM ROCK HUDSON BECAUSE TOO MUCH LOVE IS KILLING THEM
Very Favre-ian
Who knew Love is a bust?
Love that INT. Fuck you Packer fans, its your time in the barrel.
Cracker Barrel.
ok its def gonna be below 53.1% comp pct. after tonight
So tired of these reboot tv shows. I agree with Nietzsche when he said that time was a Jewish flat circle that always returned us to The Facts of Life.
tater tots are a great 2nd option
to a fleshlight, yes
I still have a bunch of my son’s Thundercats stuff.His first Big Wheel was theirs, it was mad cool, but a bitch to put together drunk on Christmas Eve
.
“So, um, about that Thundercats stuff…” – Eli Manning
kill them NOW https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/8bd8dcf6-ef9a-4a6d-b3bd-c3ad9e13c828
Spam The Torpedoes (really original pun, smgdh…) current projection is
a.) beating me by 10.3 points
b.) needing to have some sort of anti-fungal cream applied, soon
Hey I showed you that picture in confidence.
Yes, you were very assured at the time. Given your file, you’ve made a lot of progress since then.
Ya gotta love DoorDash booze delivery. My slothfulness knows no limits. More pills!
Folks!
THESE PACKERS LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM THE GERMAN AFRIKA KORPS BECAUSE MONTGOMERY AND HIS MEN JUST ROLLED OVER THEM
“Here we see a sloth slowly crawling on the ground. Wait. I’ve been told it was Jared Goff running for a first down.”
-Sir Richard Attenborough
Jared Goff looks like Dollar Tree Ryan Gosling.
/saw Barbie recently
BLAZING SPEED
$5 million a year, every year and payable on the date of your choosing, but your team will never win the Superb Owl in your lifetime.
Do you take this deal*?
*offer not valid for J-E-S-T, Bears, Browns, and Bills fans
i have always been a fackin big patriots fan. gimmie my fackin money
BIGGEST WINNAH EVAH
I noticed a sign in my Los Angeles neighborhood for a “YAHD FREAKING SALE” this weekend. I should go on general principle.
Of course. I’d even throw in not watching the NFL again.
Pfft. I’d do it for a single free Arby-Q. Not like I’m putting anything at risk.
Unless you’re already a billionaire, taking this deal is mandatory.
this is a dominant start even with the goff derp
Finally got my taxes done today, I forgot all about them until last week when it occurred to me time’s almost up.
Saw this today, it kind of blew my mind. I suppose I can understand not being in a big hurry to part with so much money, but not filing them at all? Seems like it’d be even worse to rack up all those penalties.
I didn’t file for 10 straight years. No issues when I started filing again.
Huh. No penalties or nothin’?
Not a single one. The IRS is a clown show.
If they even get caught, they’ll settle with them for pennies. It pays to be rich.
Goff just Goffed right out of the gate.
Like he do.
Tinfoil Hat Alert: My theory is that fireworks and extraordinarily bright amp lights obscure the fact that the upper seats at these live games are mostly empty.
Scotchy, you gonna start your brand new Lions DEF in the stupid lawyer league?
(Fun fact: I’m playing the hobokiller in TWO leagues this week!)
Ok guess not.
FUCKBALLS! I was writing up the game intro and forgot.*
*edit to check if I got the team
theyre already trying to anoint jordan love and his 53.1% comp pct. as the next in line after favre/rodgers for his “comeback” against the ‘Aints. plz bite his kneecaps off, coach campbell
Trade Advice for a PPR.
Amon-Ra St.Brown for Bijan Robinson
My RBs
Bijan
CMC
Deandre Swift
Jerome Ford
My WRs
Tee Higgins
Christian Watson
MOAR Corps of Elijah Moore, Sky Moore
There are no good WR in Free Agency.
You’d certainly strengthen your wr corps but then you’d be leaning heavily on the (sorta) injury-prone CMC and “in a committee” Swift and the unknown quantity that is Ford. I’d make a richer counter-offer that benefits you better. Dude wants Bijan badly, make him work for it.
Is it a keeper league?
no
Speaking of TNF, here’s a 1:12 scale model Porsche 934 RSR Turbo engine that some dude built. It’s from a whole car kit where he took the engine and detailed it out nicely.
Jimmy Garoppolo, who currently has a completion of 68.1% and a 5:6 TD/INT ratio has just formally filed a declaration of villainous aggression with Jordan Love listed on the paperwork as his nemesis.
“-There’s another thing going on as well-Lafleur is asking him to toss balls down the field and another statistical aberration becomes apparent. Green Bay opponents have been flagged for 154 yards worth of pass interference penalties”
Hey, it worked for Joe “Elite Heave n’ Pray” Flacco & the Ravens 10 years ago…
And Derek Anderson that one year.
I just remember that one graph that showed penalties awarded to a team on 3rd down, and it showed all the teams on a splatter graph, and it has a pretty consistent pattern. ….
Except for the upper left quadrant where green bay is separated ridiculously far from all the other teams