Your ‘Nother NFL Football Open Thread

As one would expect, we’ve got the skinniest of slates in terms of number of games and quality games. I can hear Hippo’s snores from over here.

To The Games!

Panthers/Bucs:

Aw, C’MON! This game should have been flexed to the Dark Ages. Tampa is 4-7 but it’s much worse than that because they are on a 1-6 tear. This tilt should help restore Bryce Young’s confidence and boost his numbers because the Bucs have the 31st-ranked pass defense. Plus there’s that New Coach Bounce which may or not be a thing. I feel bad for sad sacker Brian Burns who has been doing his part as edge defender but it’s only translated into 6 qb dumps.

Browns/Rams:

At 38 Joe Flacco has all the mobility of Terry Shiavo with a high ankle sprain but here we are. Apparently the Cleveland coaches were impressed with his arm strength so maybe we’ll see some deep shots to Cooper and Tillman. The Browns have only allowed 10 passing TDs so far so Fatt Matt will come back down to earth after tossing 4 last week. If Puka can squeeze out 76 yards he’ll hit 1,000 in 12 games, something that’s only been done six other times.

Niners/Eagles:

Hey look, it’s a rematch of last year’s NFC Champeenship game but Purdy has a functioning arm! Philly is a land of contrasts this last little bit. Over the course of the season their rush yards allowed is an average of 85.3 but over the last two games they’ve given up a total of 346. McCaffrey and Shanny Jr. would do well to run outside because that’s where the big gains are. Purdy has been as a efficient as possible, tossing passes at a 70+% clip over the last 5 games. The primary beneficiary has been Aiyuk-since they’ve started playing together last year he is #1 in yards per catch and #2 in receptions over 20 yards.

Enjoy.

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Gumbygirl

Safety dance!

fleshwound_NPG

garbage time safety dance!

clint greasewood

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Redshirt

Even the Referee has had enough of the Browns today.

jjfozz

If I was an NFL player, my Cause for Cleats would be testicular cancer research, and my cleats would have pictures of giant hairy balls.

King Hippo

Even Lovie Smith guffaws at that challenge.

LemonJello

Awww, isn’t that nice? Make-A-Wish got Sam Darnold a couple snaps as an NFL QB.

fleshwound_NPG

swift ded

Spur

BOOOOMMMM Dead Bird

Gatoraids

This Eagles drive sponsored by DraftKings

King Hippo

I will have to fade Chase on MNF. He can’t do any better than CeeDee Lamb on TNF, an exact replica and I’d win by 2.

Spur

That lucky horseshoe finally fell out of the Eagles asshole. They’ve been lucky for all year, the bounces and flags have been going there way all year.
Not today.

Redshirt

So that’s why Flacco hasn’t been playing!

King Hippo

It’s nice when God answers one’s questions that directly.

Spur

PLEASE put Hurts back out there.

litre_cola

He is that wounded horse in famliy guy

Spur

YES. Rub it in, TD San Fran
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fleshwound_NPG

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King Hippo

E. Lite.

litre_cola

I should have bet all the money on Fulham and the Eagles losing

King Hippo

Please get a 1st down, MRSA. Grimace Touched My Butthole can’t withstand any MOAR fantasy points by your D/ST.

Spur

Bosa was sooo close to getting that dirty hit to pay off.

Redshirt

God help me, I’m kind of rooting for the Browns.

And on cue, they miss the extra point. I think I’m the problem.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, the Browns are very experienced in being their own problem

King Hippo

IT CAN BE TWO THINGS!!!

Downfield Matriculator

Watching the SF beatdown of PHI so the locals here will be happy. Only here to comment because I took the dog to the dog park today where I heard LDB from some tart’s bluetooth speaker as she walked her pug in a sweater alongside the Bay. JFC.

Doktor Zymm

Pug in a sweater sounds pretty cute tho, too bad about the owner

King Hippo

That’s so #ThePauls

Mr. Ayo

BEYOND ELITE!

Redshirt

Never underestimate the power of revenge.

Spur

Hurts wants CTE by age 30. Good for him.

Gatoraids

has it already if he thinks this game is winnable

Doktor Zymm

Realistically a good chunk of NFL players probably had CTE well back before getting to the NFL

Spur

Why isnt Sirianni talking shit?

Spur

Ok Philly, its time to hurt Prudy. He can only bench 100 LBS, he’s weak baby man.
He called your momma fat and he thinks your Scrapple is gross.

jjfozz

Oh, this Niners games is glorious. I’m sure any Niners fans in the stands right now will be treated with good natured kidding and camraderie.

fleshwound_NPG
jjfozz

the class of the nfl

Spur

Eat shit Philly!!!!!!! TD 49ers!
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Spur

RUN THOSE BIRDS INTO THE GROUND

Spur

Dead QB Bird????????????
Might need to head back to ER for a 4+ hour erection

fleshwound_NPG

hurts hurt, mariota sighting!comment image

Spur

Eagles cant tackle with those wings, need fingers for better grip

fleshwound_NPG

now i see why andy reid finally won a super bowl with someone else. eagles have wings, chiefs do not

Doktor Zymm

And you can’t even eat Eagle wings, they’re a ‘protected species’ or sommat

Brick Meathook

I heard LDB in a mosque today.

King Hippo

There is no jihad exception, you are OUT!

Spur

So glad we got the tree up during the morning games. Can really give the Hate Bowl all my attention.

Redshirt

So why hasn’t Flacco been playing, again?

Gatoraids

they just waited for the kids to make mid popular for his return

jjfozz

Eyebrow injury

Spur

Come on Bosa. Do your thing, dirty hit on the QB. Remember, its the City of “Brotherly” Love. Emphasis on Brother

Doktor Zymm

I think mentioning family only works with Qaaron

Spur

the other type of Brother.

fleshwound_NPG

if it werent for kyle shanahan’s 28-3 specter haunting over him id say the niners are an unstoppable juggernaut now

but…its coming

Spur

Dan Quinn could have pulled rank and ordered run plays.

jjfozz

The dolts responsible for that godawful Verizon “caroling” advertisement should have hot coals shoved down their pants. Good Christ.

Spur

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS TD San Fran
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fleshwound_NPG

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litre_cola

YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT TACKLE. SPUR IS CORRECT

Spur

Type that louder.

King Hippo

Baby Shanny’s adjustments have worked.

fleshwound_NPG

just a philly tradition having opposing players fighting randos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxlcVYCefs8

jjfozz

How fucking dumb can you be to try and fight a pro hockey player?

That’s Philly Dumb

litre_cola

Like Jo Flacco these Jamaican chicken pieces I ordered are elite.

Gumbygirl

I am going to have elite chicken for dinner too. No Jamaican’s will be involved, but there will be plenty of ganja, mon!

litre_cola

Yes.

Doktor Zymm

Of course Flacco only eats boiled boneless skinless chicken breasts