Your “Gravity Always Wins” Jets-Browns Open Thread

It is hard to fathom The Narrator’s cruelty, sometimes.  Most fans of moribund franchises approach the season with glum resignation, knowing that draft picks and free agent acquisitions will have little effect on the team’s fortunes, and by mid-November they can comfortably relax and enjoy the feats of more competitive squads, or take some entertainment in off-field antics like the controversy of whether Greg Olsen deliberately sabotaged a turducken so that Jordan Love wouldn’t receive his due trophy, and The Narrator’s machinations cause them little pain. But during the 2023 offseason, in a fit of pique, or perhaps out of boredom from the lack of deviations from his own meticulously plotted storyline for the next several years, The Narrator decided to give fans of one of these teams – the New York Jets – a particularly poisonous gift: the gift of hope.

While the dashing of Jets fans’ hopes came almost immediately as soon as the season began, the kernel of hope had been planted deep.  So deep, in fact, that these hopes began to blossom again the instant Aaron Rodgers was witnessed back on the field, tossing a football once again.  The Jets entered their bye week with a record of 3-3, and with significant momentum.  This momentum carried them to yet another victory, and the hopes of a miraculously rapid recovery for Aaron Rodgers in time for the playoffs began to glimmer.  But as is mentioned in the title: gravity always wins.  I actually wrote this post in late November for the Black Friday game, but I’m confident that nothing has changed in that time frame except any playoff hopes that Jets fans would be harboring have been entirely extinguished.

Also worth mentioning that at the time I originally wrote this post the Cleveland Browns were sitting at 7-3.  They had fallen to 7-5 as of this update, and I have a suspicion that by publication time the theme of “gravity always wins” will very much apply to them as well.

POST-CHRISTMAS UPDATE: I could not have been more wrong about the Browns.  They currently sit at 10-5, with a calculated chance of greater than 99% to make the playoffs.  Apparently Joe Flacco really is 2 ELITE 2 QUIT.