Welcome, welcome fans of the NFL. Not so long ago this would be a game that you would consciously avoid were it a regular season tilt but the times have indeed changed and I think coaches Stefanski and Ryans are the primary reasons. Houston’s GM gets a little credit as well for drafting intelligently. All in all, it’s not a bad way to start the post-season festivities.
To The Game!
Browns/Texans:
-Phenomenal rookie Stroud absolutely tears apart zone defenses. The problem? Cleveland plays man just about more than any other team. And guess what? C.J. is a bottom 6 qb vs that setup.
-Those Browns are favored in a playoff game for the first time since Nigeria moved its capital city from Lagos to Abuja! (thanks Wiki)
-Who will step up if, as expected, the secondary bends coverage towards Nico Collins? Both Noah Brown and Robert Woods are hobbled-to what extent we don’t know because, why would they miss a playoff game if they were able to walk? Xavier Hutchinson has come up small in a few recent games, having one catch on seven targets. Maybe the wildcard is John Metchie, a guy that can’t stay healthy but his Alabama pedigree may manifest itself.
-Still Old: When Flacco was starting his first playoff game Stroud was a wee 8 year-old. Isn’t it amazing that some people are old and other people aren’t as old?
-Successful Rebuild: The Texans last played an extra game back in 2019. Only three players from today’s roster played in that fixture-that’s quite a bit of turnover.
-Cooper went bananas the last time these teams clashed but ends Anderson and Greenard weren’t around and starting cb Cashman was sitting as well. That said, I’d take the over on his 73.5 receiving prop.
Let’s have some fun.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Hopper
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Eggleston
CJ Stroud is single so he says he usually comes by himself.
Wow, I did the same thing when I was single.
You’re saying a dwarf will make Stroud better?
Spilling your seed on the ground is a sin
Does anyone actually use super glue without getting some of it bonded to your fingers?
Super glue? I’m on Team Gorilla Glue. It has Silverback Strength!
Yep. I have some that has a brush applicator, use it for putting together Warhammer figures.
GLUE FOR THE GLUE GOD!
You sound hoarse.
I have a brush applicator for my ceramic glue and that really does work well. Gets the right amount on the surface so it doesn’t ooze out onto my fingers when I’m holding the pieces into place until it sets
Yes. The trick is in applying it to the work surface and not your fingers.
That’s the only reason I hang on to an ancient bottle of nail polish remover. I’m guaranteed to glue my fingers together, or to something annoying like a kleenex.
If anyone wants to come to my house because they don’t have Peacock app, you’re all invited!
you don’t have to bribe us, we’ll all come over the key party regardless
Bill Simmons thinks that the Browns can still beat the Ravens in the playoffs.
they can still win this if mike pence has the courage
I don’t know, I think they could have played…
https://twitter.com/BuffaloBills/status/1746314390989640133
The Bills Mafia could have set the field on fire an hour before kick off.
Meanwhile . . .
Is this a painting by Edward Hopper?
NO!
It’s a photograph by William Eggleston.
There’s some weirdos out back of that place.
So I know there’s no mercy rule in football, but can Cleveland request a running clock?
Okay, the Flaccoceptions are funny, but I did want Flacco to have a good game. He seems close to the nicest guy in the NFL and he is not a secret sex pest nor domestic abuser, which sometimes seems like a rarity in this league.
I’ve talked to many people who met him, nicest guy ever.
AND ruined a playoff run by the dreamboat!
I’m laughing at the Browns, not Flacco. But that said, it’s not like he needs it, he’s won a Super Bowl and already had a great career
Yeah. I’m not saying I wanted the Browns to win. Just would have liked a nice ending to Flacco’s story this season.
On a positive note, I can spend the next hour watching the Kraken being released all over Columbus.
So the Browns are running out the clock?
For the last 40-50 years, yes.
I made Loco Moco for dinner last evening, and made perfect rice. Now I can use the leftover rice to make some super awesome stir fry.
I made a good beef stew night before last. It was great. It will be spectacular tonight. I love leftovers, I plan meals to make sure I have them.
I am struck by the fact that the 2nd Flacco INT is now considered the QB’s responsibility. I think back in Flacco’s early days, it would have been considered a perfectly acceptable throw for a QB to make and it was just a great defensive play.
ok get to t swift freezing her ass off in the frozen pirate bowl
….what ass? She’s a skinny lass.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that
She shook it off
I’m quite certain that whatever suite she’s in is being heated to a toasty 72 degrees (Fahrenheit, of course), using the blood of orphans if necessary.
What the hell, she can afford it.
they have all of andy reids brisket slow cookers on
this also motivates andy reid
That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
Oh look, it’s a game.
Stroud still not so much as cracking a smile. Dude is LOCKED IN
man, I did NOT need to see that “snake in a box” gameshow ad. FACK YOU, NBC
Jay got a gameshow?
This is one of the funniest things my stupid brain has responded to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT3OUrf6oHQ&ab_channel=BarryMonks
Dozed off in front of the TV, (Hey, I had a dog on my lap and was also reading the paper! You try to stay awake!), and it would appear that Flacco ran out of fairy dust.
/not said?
Lowratio was massaging his scalp.
I wish I had that kind of money.
Scalp.
Let’s see if Slowik wants to ride the score out or stomp on some necks. My respect for him would increase if he took the latter path.
He can for one MOAR drive, but then it’s “Case Keenum hands off” time
First bourbon is gone.
if you had two open at the same time youd double your productivity
I mean, he;s got TWO HANDS don’t he??
I figured that the Texans could only win by out-scoring teams in the playoffs. Aside from the bad throws by Flacco, it looks like they can make plays on defense. Bodes well for the next round.
Kinda fun that their defense alone is almost outscoring the Browns
I didn’t sleep for shit last night. I think I m going to smoke a wee doob and take a nap.
Nice illustration of how most teams’ 5th and 6th string OTs might not be that great
The difference is that in the second half Houston’s defense finally showed up.
Man, he had Pitre open, too
Looks like I missed a SUDDEN CHANGE in this game
Turns out the Texans DBs are better at catching TD passes from Flacco than the Browns receivers
Let’s turn our attention to Flaco, the zoo-escaped owl who lives in New York City:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPCu8mQZWqU
ja! ja! ja!!!
Rock me, Amadeus.
Hey look, it’s Senor posting in the right thread, “We replaced Flacco with the Sex Cannon. Let’s see who notices.”
As a pervert, I’d like to think the man (OR lesbian) who designed the 500s’ cheerleading outfits.
Man, if it was a lesbian they would be sexy but also have pockets
Pockets for their Subaru keys.
Flacco won a playoff game as a rookie QB so nice of him to help Stroud win one too
This is Turner’s last, “Fuck Cleveland,” and I’m laughing my Yinzer ass off.
Joe too busy thinking about boiled rice, skinless chicken breast and tall glass of skim milk.
WOW
My biggest question now is how Baker played on the Browns for multiple years and only looked kinda sorta bad when Flacco has been this infected after only a few games
That was Peterman-esque. The horror, the horror!
DOUBLE ELITE!
That’s some elite turnoovers
/has Andy Reid’s attention
this was a good game at one point
Now it’s good, but only in a “laughing at #ThePauls” way.
“Mrs. Fozz, do I have to drive anywhere else tonight?”
“No.”
Goes to bar, pours pint of bourbon into a bucket.
Why dirty the bucket?
Drink from the bottle
Bucket might have a spout, plus you can add ice
BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!
ELITE SHITSHOW
Smokin’ Joe
Thus endeth the Joe Flacco Elite Comeback story. welcome to Cleveland, the only town shittier than Houston.
“You leave room temperature milk out too long, you know what happens? It turns sour.”
-P. King
A truly lofty analysis that only high-minded football writers could appreciate!
Like Goodell was going to KC.
Why isn’t Goodell in Kansas City?
a flacco spaniel is what happens when you crossbreed a montana retriever and a sex cannon afghan
Ginger Hammer’s NEW Black Friend!!
That’s the FlacNOOOOOO we know and love.
You can’t sleep INT without ELITEN
That was some pretty good pass defense!