Greetings and salutations, DFOers.  Welcome to the long dark night of the soul, or as people who don’t devote every waking moment of their days to football and dick-jokery call it, “The NFL Off-Season.”

Our work here in the #contentmines  doesn’t stop just because the NFL needs to take a long break so that their drones players can recover some semblance of health in their broken bodies.  No sirree Bob; we keep going.  Whether it’s the excellent recipes from Yeah Right on Sunday, GTD’s always entertaining Comments of the Week, or whatever the hell this is, we remain here to keep you inside, away from your families, and to take your attention away from your job.  We don’t do it for the money, it’s more a calling.  And you’re welcome.

On that note, this marks the return of Monday Morning Mock Drafts.  Hopefully by now you’ve internalized the rules to the point that you know you’re breaking them when you inevitably do.  Make your pick and then wait ten picks or one (1) half hour before making your next pick.  Unless otherwise specified in that week’s topic you can make as many picks as you want.  Stick to the topic or risk the wrath of the commissioner.  Do not make duplicate picks, because we all know what happens then:

This week’s topic comes from the estimable Don T who, while on Twitter, responded to a post asking “if you could pick a fictional movie character to be your Valentine who would it be” with the outstanding choice of 

Madeline Kahn’s Elizabeth from ‘Young Frankenstein.’  Ah, sweet mystery of life indeed!  I immediately stole that idea for the inaugural mock draft of the 2024 off-season.  Don T gets the first pick, which I hereby declare to be the above.  Well done, Don.

The rules here are simple:  Is the individual in question fictional?  Were they in a movie?  Guess what, they’re eligible to be your Valentine!  Remember you are only picking the fictional character; the actor or actress who played that character is still eligible for a different character.

With the second pick I am taking Molly from ‘The Allnighter,’ (a film that scored a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes!) (the linky thing isn’t working, but it’s from the Wikipedia on the movie, which apparently sucked), a film that I’ve never seen but Susannah Hoffs played Molly and I therefore know this pick will start fights, and also Your Honor, I present this evidence:

Your commissioner this week is Cupid himself.

Don’t piss him off.  He’s armed!

The rest of you are now on the clock!  Let’s have a tolerable off-season.