Warhammer 40K – Monday Evening Open Thread – Blackstone Fortresses

Per Usual: Images and links are from Lexicanum  or  Warhammer Fandom Wiki

So my personal computer is still offline (more due to my being stoned and lazy lately) so I am writing this up on my work computer, so I may have a lot more free time soon if I am violating any company policies.  So my spelling maybe way off as this laptop’s keyboard is very uncomfortable to use.  Anyway, there are all sorts of sports involving balls and handling of those said balls supposed to be on tonight – if you are into that sort of thing, if not welcome to my talk on the Blackstone Fortresses of the Warhammer 40 universe.

I was originally going to use tonight to discuss the planet Cadia and its demise, along with the history of that no-longer extant Death World, which made me think about what caused said destruction – the Black Fortresses, so I decided to go with that topic.  There were 6 Black Fortresses known to the Empire after the Horus Heresy, huge space fortresses made of a shiny obsidian looking material.  The material of course defies all known methods of analysis (or maybe the machine spirit was in a snit that day and didn’t want to work) and is almost impossible to cut, grind, or burn.  Sounds like the perfect material to build a survival bunker with.  Nobody can guess their age, with estimates ranging from 170 thousand years to a few billion years, what’s a few billion here and there against the backdrop of the universe.

The fortresses could be accessed but appeared to be mostly dead, with only the power appearing to be on.  There was some bits and pieces of tech laying around, but nothing really useful.  So the Empire in it’s usual use of anything and everything if it gets the job done, towed each of the fortresses to a different planetary system (the first one found was at Cadia and was left there) and proceeded to turn them into Naval Bases for the Fleet.  Wedging hangar bays into the fortress, adding defensive weaponry, and a lot of offensive weaponry to create a rather formidable Naval Base.  Which was fantastic until Chaos – actually Abaddon the Despoiler during the Gothic War (12th Chaos Crusade) was led by a sorceress to information about how to to reactivate the fortresses.  He had to find the Hand of Darkness and the Eye of Night and learn to use them to control the fortresses all at the same time.  So the Imperial Navy is sitting in their impregnable fortresses, when suddenly the power goes out in the fortress and the fortress is attacked by Chaos, who waltzes in, killing or capturing the Naval staff, taking complete control.

Now Abbadon wakes the fortresses, which waking up are not really happy about all the shit that the Empire placed all over (and in) the fortress, guess it would be like waking up finding yourself encrusted in someone else’s shit.  The fortresses do a purge or maybe a flush, not really sure, not really caring on that point and are now Abbaddon’s.  Over the course of the war Abaddon uses the warp cannons, on the now self mobile fortresses, completely obliterate a planet, cause a star home to multiple populated planets to go supernova, and destroys a fuck ton of Naval and Astartes ships.

Eventually the Imperium with some help from the Eldar (who really don’t want Chaos to have those weapons) launch a huge naval battle and are able to infiltrate and take back 3 of the structures.  Abaddon fled with 2 of the fortresses, one he gave to an ally (who probably forgot that Abbadon can take back full control at any time) and the other he has turned into his flagship according to one of the books I read.  The last one, the one at Cadia, was possibly destroyed when Abbadon slammed it into that world at a very high velocity but since there is now an impenetrable warp storm where Cadia once was.  Oh, and the ones the Empire took back?  They disintegrated after they were retaken – probably some sort of self destruct.

Oh and GW created a game based on the Black Fortresses, which looked really cool, but was too expensive for me at the time.

Y’all have a good evening.

 

 

 

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ArmedandHammered
Mid 50's geek/nerd, avid reader of Science Fiction and Fantasy, manga, Chinese Web novels, and British mysteries, cult movies are my thing (have you seen Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?)
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Redshirt

And the rocket’s red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE FRANCIS SCOTT KEY BRIDGE?!?!

Dunstan

Look, I don’t want to brag, but I’m in first place in this bridge tournament on the Funbridge app with only five hands left to go. There’s no way this could end badly.

Doktor Zymm

Contract or rubber?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rawdogging?

Dunstan

Not sure what you mean — pretty much all bridge played today is contract bridge. Rubber bridge is just a particular format/scoring method.

I’m playing duplicate bridge (which is still contract bridge), matchpoint scoring. Basically I’m competing against all the players who were dealt the same hand as me.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I guess I meant duplicate or rubber. It’s been a while since I played and we never really kept score

Dunstan

Well, I finished at 72%, the current next closest player out of 308 at 68.84% But I guess there’s another 2 hours in which somebody new could better my score.

Pretty sure I haven’t won one of these yet. Which, considering that I’ve probably played a couple hundred of these so far, should give you an idea of how mediocre I typically am.

Gumbygirl

I have to get up at the asscrack o’dawn tomorrow. Gumby’s getting an EGD. He looks forward to them, the fucking weirdo. He tends to wake up and fight people if they use that twilight shit on him, so he gets the good drugs. My man loves him some propofol, shamone.

Brick Meathook

They administer propofol before colonoscopies as well. When I got my first one the doctor advised me, seemingly gleefully, that propofol is what killed Michael Jackson.

It’s pretty good stuff! You’re in the bed, they start the IV drip, and five seconds later you wake up feeling like you just had a nap. Did you just stick a camera up my ass? Why I didn’t even notice!

BugEyedBoo

PC Games. That’s WH40K-adjacent, right?

Starfield – it took a little longer, but I ran into the problem I have with Skyrim. It’s just a lot of the same stuff. A lot of it. From there I went to…

Mechwarrior 5: Mercenaries – I dragged out my combat joystick/throttle controls, and after monkeying it around for a couple of hours I got the controls set the way I wanted them to be. But after about an hour I found out I couldn’t drive it, and got frustrated. Which took me to…

Mass Effect: Legendary Edition – I’ve finished ME1 and 2, and thought it would be fun to fire it up again. It was going okay, but like every normal person I installed this on an SSD. Since the SSD loads a lot faster than your old 2007 platter drive, the game never uses enough idle time when loading scenes for it to let your NPCs have elevator conversations. And those are among the best parts of the game. Plus in ME1 you get to drive the Mako a lot, and the Mako sucks ass. “Did the developers ever play this?” bad. And finally…

Cyberpunk 2077 v2 – they overhauled a lot of systems in the game from v1, and supposedly ‘improved’ driving. I’ve played it all the way through twice already in v1, mostly because I like shooting people in the face and I have a crush on Panam Palmer.

Screenshot 2024-03-25 231858.png
Sharkbait

I gotta restart cyberpunk. I liked it, but life got in the way me I never finished it. As to Starfield, I heard it referred to Skyrim in space. I’ll admit though, I’m a sucker for a (modded the fuck out of) Skyrim playthrough.

BugEyedBoo

I want to like Skyrim, but its main quest chain for me is kind of, “Who cares.”

In Starfield, they made some strange gameplay choices. You can capture or steal ships (good), and can buy and sell gear for your ships. But can’t swap gear between ships, or keep gear in storage a’la Privateer (there’s a blast from the past).

Doktor Zymm

I should go back to replaying No One Lives Forever. It may be stuck in copyright limbo, but that just means it’s gray area free, and it’s legit the funniest FPS ever

fleshwound_NPG

as pointed out in the mechwarrior/battletech reddit (outreachHPG) NOBODY but dads/boomers uses joysticks for mechwarrior games. key/mouse like youre playing mechwarrior 2 in 1995, as it should be

(mechwarrior games have been the most complicated gaming sims since the originals in the 1990s. keep it a simple as possible is the key)

fleshwound_NPG

show this to a console peasant/COD junkie and watch him go insane. ah, the good ole days…

(lol “novice piloting controls”)comment image

fleshwound_NPG

ive played mechwarrior 2 so many times I can fly 737 without it blowing it upcomment image

BugEyedBoo

I played a lot of MW2. All those flight sim games and Mechwarrior had sheets like that. I don’t have the patience to learn those sheets these days. However, I might drag it back out again soon.

Sharkbait

comment image

Sharkbait

See also: Jontay Porter apparently.

Doktor Zymm

It’s amazing how little I care about this whole scandal, sports betting scandals in general don’t really have the same oomph now that the gambling is mostly controlled by regulated businesses instead of organized crime

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah these days it’s basically the same flavor as a tax evasion “scandal”.

fleshwound_NPG

wvu/iowa some late 90s heat/knicks/pacers bullshit

half expecting either dale davis, charles oakley or alonzo mourning to come into my room and bust my mouth with an elbow

Doktor Zymm

**TMI alert**
I suspect my vitamin D supplement is not that effective because I just pooped out a whole, unbroken vitamin D capsule

Doktor Zymm

Why aren’t there more pest control companies with Daleks in their logo?

fleshwound_NPG

good work today by boeing for

1. not having a plane fall apart
2. not killing a guy

Doktor Zymm

It’s always nice to see a CEO step down, so he can spend more time fucking up his family instead of fucking up the company

Mr. Ayo

This is probably blaspheme, but how are these Black Fortresses different from the Borg?

King Hippo

teh Borg is MOAR woke obvi

Doktor Zymm

They are super creepy, which I kinda dig

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m in a shitty mood right now, vacillating between making a cocktail and telling myself if I’m already angry, I don’t need to be drinking.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve been in a shitty mood most of the day, and am 2 glasses of wine in. Join me.

King Hippo

what you REALLY need to do is hit the highway and teach some fuckadoos some MANNERS

Mr. Ayo

I’m a happy drunk so this wouldn’t be a dilemma for me. In fact, it would be a solution. A wonderful solution of freezer vodka!

Doktor Zymm

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!

King Hippo

world needs MOAR centrifuge-adjacent humour

King Hippo

I plan on being in a shitty mood until mid-late August when I start thinking about fantasy auction strategery.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Nonsense! The Most Glorious Beisbol Cardinals are primed to run the table for MLB’s first 162-0 season

Gumbygirl

Wow. I’m a massive pothead, and even I have never been this high.

Doktor Zymm

Looked into recycling my countertop ice maker and as far as I can tell I would have to pay more to recycle the damn thing than it cost originally. Fuck that.

King Hippo

I recall the concept from one of my Environmental Engineering classes, there is a formula for determining what is and is not economically feasible in terms of recycling. Aluminum cans? GREAT. Clear glass? Decent. ColoUred glass? Make the White liberals feel better about not going straight to the landfill.

/this was in 1993-94, so things surely have changed

Doktor Zymm

It’s got a motor in it, so it’s almost certainly worth recycling, but this is California so everyone tries to double dip because there’s a fine for improper disposal, so as long as they charge less than the fine they can get away with it. No idea if it has freon or not, but if it does I am somehow supposed to remove it myself?

The plan right now is to let it keep sitting on the floor by the door, or possibly to see if I can clean the blue shit off and then donate it since it still works other than making possibly toxic blue ice.

King Hippo

See here in FREEDUMLAND they will take anything domestic-y on offer at the dumptransfer station because otherwise it’s just getting tossed into the woods out the back of a pickup truck.

Mr. Ayo

Time to find a local apartment dumpster

Doktor Zymm

I live in a local apartment!
Might try to find Peter Thiel’s house and improperly dispose of it there

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dispose of it through the driver’s side window of one of his many automobiles.

fleshwound_NPG

WVU keeping up with Iowa by playing like Iowa…football

fleshwound_NPG

99.99999% sure catlin clark knows how to punt a football

(it replaced parallel parking in the iowa drivers test)

Brocky

Hell yeah, lady hoosiers!

They grew up tall, and they grew up right!

Doktor Zymm

Congrats to Sudan for enjoying their elections and democracy and such!

King Hippo

Did the Black guy win? I betcha the Black guy won.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The location is the tell. Looks like my longshot prop bet is about to pay off!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbrPOu39tFs

WCS

BAH GAWD KING THAT’S SIRHAN SIRHAN’S MUSIC

King Hippo

Why didn’t the Empire just open a hella engineering and design practice? Sounds like they missed they true calling.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Haven’t you been paying attention? Like all religious fanaticism-based societies, the Empire of Man is actually pretty backwards as far as tech is concerned.

King Hippo

RAPT attention but also high

Senor Weaselo

I regret to inform you all that I had to work and as such could not go to the Taskmaster premiere. So no boots on the ground of me trying to outweasel Little Alex Horne for Greg Davies’s amusement.

If they are reading this by any chance, my writing can attempt to be called comedy, and therefore this means I should be eligible, and if asked to serve will do so. It’s unlikely, but hey, Nick Nave apparently reads my crap.