People, we have some truly promising drafts coming up, courtesy of one Mr. Rikki Rikki Deadly. I can only assume that the soothing hum of near constant vacuuming has something to do with triggering brain activity that leads to mock draft topics.
Or murder, but I’m going to lean into the draft topic idea. Seems safer and less murdery.
This week, however, we’re going with one of mine because last week I made a promise to Hippo that we’d do a football-themed one and it seems the least, (like literally the very least), I can do to keep the guy who does the Monday recaps from September through February happy.
Next few weeks you’ll want to bone (heh) up on Canadiens, nudity, and possibly nude Canadiens. Who knows where this will go? This week, you’re going to need to know your spread (heh) offense (aww) options and your NFL history, because we’ll be drafting NFL wide receivers.
The rules are simple: if they played so much as a snap or a trick play at WR they’re eligible to be drafted. So yes, you could take Tom Brady as a WR although I don’t know why you’d want to when Big Dick Nick Foles is right there.
Slots, split-ends, possession guys, deep threats, doesn’t matter. No limit on quantity, nor is there a minimum, (recall that we did do that with offensive lines), although ideally you should have three.
As with that time we drafted comedians, given the propensity of WRs, (even given their status of professional football players), to do a lot of stupid and occasionally criminal things, you’re just drafting them for their skills. Much like the NFL ownership, we’re not here to comment on them being less-than-ideal husbands, fathers, significant others, sane, contributing members of society, or anything beyond what they did between the lines.
With the first pick I’m taking Drew Pearson, the primary deep threat on the first Dallas Cowboy team I was aware of, back when Dallas was truly America’s Team, an actual threat to do something in the post-season, and who totally didn’t commit pass interference on that pass from Roger Staubach that many consider the first Hail Mary.
#43 clearly trips over a gopher there. Pesky things, those gophers.
The rest of you are on the clock.
Irving Fryar
Angel Reese is going to get a taunting technical foul. Book it.
i would, too. iowa had a great start and it melted away so quick, which tells you how “talented” they are.
and not only do they run the bel air academy offense, they also run the bel air academy defense
Iowa’s Lisa Bluder is that stern grandmother that hardly ever smiles but you know that she loves you. Kim Mulkey is that thrice-divorced aunt that has a few DUI’s on her record.
No night thread yet so I’ll post here.
Caitlin Clark is leading LSU 17-9.
kim mulkey being that far into the live play tells me one thing and one thing only
she was at jan 6th
She recruited Brittney Griner so hard but didn’t offer any support to her after she was imprisoned in Russia. Being gay and smoking weed is apparently a bridge too far. Fuck her.
I don’t know where Mulkey thinks that threatened lawsuit against the Post, for publishing a story that suggests she’s an awful person, is going to go. Last I checked truth is an absolute defense to such suits.
made jim harbaugh look competent
(yes harbaugh was the highest rated passer in ’95, but not has a bear. wearing a bears uni ruins accuracy, it is proven. waddle negated that the best he could)
What, nobody else got their (figurative) balls kicked off their body in fantasy because of this guy? Well, I did. INCLUDING the ridiculous Bengals play. Le’Veon Bell:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPTKa-lPgoc
Wesley Walker. Caught over 70 TD passes for the Jets while legally blind in his left eye.
I think I owned a football card with that picture of him on it!
My son just texted that he wants gift certificates to the local grocery chain for his birthday because he’s sick of paying for food.
I replied “I have some very bad news about literally everything for the rest of your life.”
Also I draft Mike Williams.
Surprised nobody has drafted “Mike Williams” yet in order to fill their entire receivers room with a single pick.
I am fairly confident none of you are taking either, so I’ll take Mark Clayton and Mark Super (together as the Marks Brothers) next. I cannot explain why, but I was a huge fan as a kid.
For my last pic I’m going OBJ. His first three years were bananas-288 grabs, 4,122 yards and 25 TD’s. And of course there was that catch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxbz3DDQzHU&ab_channel=NFL
5. Rounding out my roster with a 2010’s guy, I’ll go with Brandon Marshall. That’s basically two players for the price of one pick!
Really thought you’d post the pic of linebacker Brandon Marshall to mess with us.
The only April Fool’s joke I’ve played today is telling a high school friend / fellow UConn fan that ESPN was reporting that Zach Edey had been busted for PED’s.
Did anyone take Marvin Harrison and his gun yet? I’ll take them here then.
https://www.indystar.com/story/sports/nfl/colts/2014/06/14/report-former-colts-wr-marvin-harrison-shot-at-by-assailants/10526831/
Raiders’ great Henry Ruggs
Save it for the Dale Earnhardt Memorial Smash ‘Em Up Draft.
Pick # 3 Matt Forte
The rightful owner of the single season reception record for running backs.
As opposed to Christian McCaffrey, who’s really just a wide receiver who exclusively comes out of the backfield
Just like Balls!
I always liked Q because he looks like Avon Barksdale.