Request Line: Toeing the Line

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The regular one again?

WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP I’M ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE HERE.

[huffily] INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER sits at his desk, with a pile of items in front of him.  DJ 3000 is standing nearby, looking apprehensive.  The PRODUCER carefully builds the items into a pyre that consists of…

a matchbox-sized version of a Ford Bronco…

…a home perm kit…

…a VHS tape of the low-budget comedy movie Beach Fever…

…and a pair of Bruno Magli shoes.

DJ 3000: ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?

PRODUCER: Come on, it’s tradition!  And besides, we’re an NFL-focused show.

The PRODUCER douses the pile with lighter fluid and drops a match on it.

— [portal to the spirit realm flies open] —

REX RYAN: How the fuck you doin’, boys?

DJ 3000: HEY ROB, THANKS FOR COMING BY.

PRODUCER: It’s Rex.

DJ 3000: NO IT’S NOT, IT’S ROB.

REX RYAN: No, it’s Rex.  Did your circuits get scrambled, little buddy?

PRODUCER: I gotta be honest, Rex, I wasn’t expecting to see you.  What’s with the horns?

REX RYAN: You didn’t know I was evil?

PRODUCER: Well…no.

REX RYAN: Anyhow, can we make this quick? I’m dealing with a new intake and things are kind of hectic around here.

PRODUCER: That “new intake” is actually who we were looking to speak to.

REX RYAN: He’s, uh, kind of busy.

The three fall silent for a moment, which allows us to hear the sound of tormented screaming in the background.

REX RYAN: But I’m authorized to speak on his behalf, so shoot.

PRODUCER: How are you authorized to speak for him?

REX RYAN: The lawyers here – there’s lots of lawyers here – make all the new recruits sign away power of attorney to someone before we get started with them.  O.J. and I have got that Buffalo Bills connection, so he picked me.

DJ 3000: GIVING ROB RYAN POWER OF ATTORNEY, WHAT COULD POSSIB-LIE GO WRONG?

REX RYAN: [looks at him] It’s Rex, and…wait, hang on a second…

REX RYAN looks over DJ 3000 very carefully.

DJ 3000: WHAT?

REX RYAN: Ah, shit.  Looks like we’ve got a cross-contamination situation going on here, better call my brother.

REX RYAN intones some mystical words in an arcane and unmentionable tongue. 

— [second portal to the spirit world flies open, accompanied by the angelic tones of a celestial choir] —

DJ 3000: OH, HEY REX.

PRODUCER: It’s Rob.

ROB RYAN: [looks at DJ 3000 very carefully] Ah, shit. [to REX] Is this what it looks like?

REX RYAN: Afraid so.

ROB RYAN: Shit, sorry guys, we’re gonna have to make some calls and kick this one upstairs.  [checks watch] In the meantime, don’t you fellas have a show to do?

PRODUCER: We do, but we need a topic.

REX RYAN: Oh, I’ve got a topic for you.  I’m amazed – and frankly, a bit disappointed – that you haven’t done it before. I’ll get you started with the theme song from the greatest movie of all time and you can see if you can figure out what the topic is.

ROB RYAN: [rolls eyes]

REX RYAN: Okay, okay, maybe it’s not really the greatest movie of all time…but it’s pretty great.

ROB RYAN: You just like it because violence solves everything at the end.

REX RYAN: That’s true.  But mainly I like it just because that pious fuck Tony Dungy hates it so damned much.  And for one other reason…

Today’s theme is “feet”.  We’re looking for songs about feet and footwear – songs that mention feet, toes, boots, shoes, heels, and even ankles are fair game.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?g!V3iTuP and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “The Real Me” by The Who was solved by SonOfSpam. Let’s boogie!

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Subscribe
Notify of
148 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
scotchnaut
Gumbygirl

Another one from me, i’ve got to scrape the shit right off my shoes.Toodles poodles!
https://youtu.be/tIfQipkkOqs?si=8Xg7Z2rC-sMDGrzF

BeefReeferLives

I gotta make some money
To buy some brand new shoes
Tryin’ to find somebody
To take away these blues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uJIKxglBvo

Gumbygirl
scotchnaut

True Fact: Goody Two Shoes is the honorary name given to me by one of the tribes on Manitoulin Island!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o41A91X5pns&ab_channel=AdamAntVEVO

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Your a-two-dollar shoe hurts my feet,
Your two-dollar shoe hurts my feet,
Yes, your two-dollar shoe hurts my feet, Lord, Lord,
An’ I ain’t a-gonna be treated this way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBso-UG8R_E

scotchnaut
DJ TAJ
scotchnaut

THIS IS FOR ALL THE TOE-SUCKERS OUT THERE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHdCmNtFZ3w&ab_channel=ricardot.

scotchnaut
SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives

Not a song, but had to post one of my favorite Kids In the Hall skits:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJqeIkV-THU

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
LemonJello

A Rex Ryan/Matt Gaetz Venn Diagram?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLHv_0qhP1o

DJ TAJ
SonOfSpam

(Norm McDonald voice): “This just proves my theory, Swedes love Motorhead”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBQXn996k7A&ab_channel=kentjulnes

DJ TAJ

Did I win? Kick ass video alert!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM1kzbAgo_E

scotchnaut

[looks down below]

-Blair Witch

/it was just two minutes tho

SonOfSpam

He won a DVD of Blair Witch 2: Book of Secrets

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Cut off the song title: “Sex is in the Heel”

scotchnaut

Hot Take: Nancy was the most talented Sinatra.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM1kzbAgo_E&ab_channel=NancySinatra

BeefReeferLives

Looks like there was a time warp!

comment image?w=790&h=530&crop=1

SonOfSpam
DJ TAJ

Give me something to break

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkFqg5wAuFk

BeefReeferLives

Yeah my baby she’s long
My baby she’s tall
She’s sleepin’ with her head in the kitchen
And her feet’s out in the hall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhAoBHonaA8

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

fuck yes

BeefReeferLives

Well fuck yeah

SonOfSpam

DUDE.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This song rocks, I don’t want to hear it.

SonOfSpam

Whatever it does, this song absolutely does not rock.

BeefReeferLives
2Pack
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

lol fuck you Aaron Rodgers

2Pack
DJ TAJ
BeefReeferLives
2Pack
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

/ OW!

BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Let us not forget the hokey pokey

https://youtu.be/eHs1WXp_syA?si=gw6a_uf9UA43EYQB

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are you ready for a triple shot?

https://youtu.be/F6y4-Rtf0W0?si=nLCYw8are7bKx7rx

Louisiana rain is falling at my feet
Baby, I’m noticing the change as I move down the street
Louisiana rain is soaking through my shoes
I may never be the same when I reach Baton Rouge

Last edited 6 months ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy
BeefReeferLives

Wait a sec… Is THIS the puzzle song??

BeefReeferLives

Woo! /Ow!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t I get credit for posting it?

BeefReeferLives

Lost my boots in transit, babe, a pile of smoking leather
I nailed a retread to my feet and prayed for better weather

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3O7iuhvcF8

BeefReeferLives

See that girl barefooting along
Whistling and singing, she’s a-carrying on
Got laughing in her eyes
Dancing in her feet
She’s a neon diamond
She can live on the street

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDJ9KnYcA9Q

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think one of you introduced me to this version via request line years ago:

https://youtu.be/9asndmJLYhQ?si=rR1EvLTJsgd0Rhpr

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Footloose AND fancy free is even better.

https://youtu.be/Q6NQcO9KTBY?feature=shared

BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

Dude.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t be racist.

SonOfSpam

Her heritage is not the issue. For example, I love Cuban sandwiches.

BeefReeferLives

Parenthetically related to the theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUTD9ok997k

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Ah. As in the last word. Looks like that ones been picked, but not guessed.