Monday Morning Mock Draft: I Can Name That Band In One Pick

(Featured image left blank so Rikki can do something with little people)

This morning’s topic comes from relatively new contributor Senor Weaselo.  This is his second contribution, and it is much appreciated.  Mostly because when I get carried away with a weekend’s worth of activities, (sadly, nothing crazy, just having to mow the lawn, do everything around the house I can’t do during the week, and attend a friend’s kid’s fiancee’s graduation party), and forget to do this until winding things down for the evening, I don’t have to think anything up.  It’s a great feeling using someone else’s work as your own!  Just ask virtually anyone who’s been published in academia.

Anyway, this week we’re doing band names.  In his suggestion Senor suggested that ‘War Crimes Speedrun’ would be a good band name and he’s right, assuming you’re going death metal and not ‘opening act for Taylor Swift’s next tour.’  That probably wouldn’t mesh well.

Finessing the idea a bit we’re going with actual band names.  But! it doesn’t have to be an actual band that actually existed:  You can draft the name of a fictitious band if you so choose.

Remember, you are not drafting the band for the quality of their music, only the quality of the name.  They can suck, the mere beginning of one of their songs wafting from your car radio speakers can make you want to drive into the nearest bridge abutment, but if they have a cool name you can go ahead and draft them with no fears that you are endorsing their music.

In a somewhat arbitrary decision I am decreeing that solo acts are not eligible.  Cher may have a cool name, but she is not a band.

Our commissioner for this draft is, at Senor’s suggestion, the late Dom Pardo.

Senor didn’t give me a pick with his idea, so he’ll just have to jump in as time allows.  With the first pick I am taking 1980’s Italian hardcore punk group Cheetah Chrome Motherfuckers.

Were they any good?  Fuck if I know.  If I ever heard anything they did I’ve long since forgotten it, but I always remembered hearing that name and thinking it was pretty awesome.

The rest of you are on that clock.

 

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BeefReeferLives

The “Beasts of Bourbon”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk7pxBGLqaM

BeefReeferLives

Wonder if JJFozz has heard of these guys…

2Pack

2nd round value Blue Oyster Cult

https://youtu.be/sYkvpNR8BGU?si=Ajb-jXTB-x08OIDc

Gumbygirl

Needs more cowbell, and an umlaut.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

2 groups I’m surprised are still on the board:

Spın̈al Tap
2Cock Shakur

Are you all working and not just endlessly hitting refresh while waiting for your car to be done?

BeefReeferLives

Surprised not to see this one yet:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVRcmnVYlLI

Maybe it’s because the name is funny at first, but sounds less funny every time you hear it…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And it’s simple, but I always thought The Vandals was about as good as you could possibly do for a punk band.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And of course…

comment image

BeefReeferLives

Ditto, re: “The Misfits” & “The Clash”

Short, simple, & gets the point across.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And how could we forget about The Scofflaws?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tomandandy

BeefReeferLives

Not a pick, but I always thought “The Racket” would be a good double entendre band name.

2Pack

Led Zeppelin

BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Porno for Pyros

BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

I was just looking for them! Here’s a fun fact about them, sometimes they played in full drag, and went by the name Lesbian Dopeheads on Mopeds

scotchnaut

A buddy of mine in college played bass in a band by the name of Ben Dover* and The Lawn Furniture.

*hey, it was funny in the mid-80’s!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Folk Implosion and Deluxx Folk Implosion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZuJpgX_j9c

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ooh, love that movie!” – Matt Gaetz

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Parliament Funkadelic

Doktor Zymm

Auntie Christ

Brocky

Flock of seagulls

Because it’s so dumb its funny

yeah right

The electric prunes.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Honest Bob and the Factory to Dealer Incentives.

https://youtu.be/AGFKDzgKzzE?si=gyY-KP6SRBHDtwGN

Did I hop the queue and post ahead of the limit? Yes. BECAUSE IN ROCK AND ROLL THERE ARE NO RULES!

BeefReeferLives

Jim Jones & The Kool-Ade Kids! (Featured album: “Trust Me”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgva5pYVEmM

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

Brocky

This clip is always good for a laugh

https://youtu.be/1qACvW7NGGY?si=sS5BrPV6RuCszi7C

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This was next on my draft board

scotchnaut

You know, egg salad sandwiches never got their proper due until 5 Neat Guys came along.

/maybe someone can post the tune because my computer is stumbling and drunk..
//here we go!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMjtvSABQ3Q&ab_channel=SCTV

Last edited 6 months ago by scotchnaut
Senor Weaselo

2. Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. So risqué that they changed it to Psychedelic Popcorn Crumpets instead!

King Hippo

Yes, I confirmed the name refers to the entire trio (The Reverend Horton Heat):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2u4gRMqvcg

Brick Meathook
ArmedandHammered

Lords of Acid

BeefReeferLives

Punk bands have the best names…

BeefReeferLives

They came up with some fun album names too, IIRC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CBx_mGxJNo

BugEyedBoo

The Jesus Lizard.

BeefReeferLives

Best named band also comes up with best song name…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeuNckmt7h8

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Let’s acknowledge that Foo Fighters was a great pick, as was messing with Walken

https://youtube.com/shorts/JGGsft6zq4k?si=e2xUtXxHuusfJRJn

ArmedandHammered

Disaster Area from Hitchhiker’s Guide.

scotchnaut

Propellerheads were cool for that one hit and you know Qaron has cornered some poor UDFA and said, “Listen to this ‘History Repeating’ song, makes you think we’ve all been here before, right?”

Last edited 6 months ago by scotchnaut
ballsofsteelandfury

Meat Puppets

DJ TAJ

Was going to be my second pick

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They would absolutely be my first pick if this were a “bands who sound nothing like their name would make you think” draft.

Still a very fine name, of course.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“The Who” remains supreme. Like, the fact that no one blinks an eye at it now, but its simplicity is its brilliance

Brocky

Crash Test Dummies!

Surprised it was never copywrited

ballsofsteelandfury

Skinny Puppy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Har Mar Superstar

Huh. According to youtube he’s playing here in LA on May 21:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSMCNLpgZ5o

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I almost took The Shitty Beatles but they suck

scotchnaut

Hey Bobo, be gentle with your mandible down there!

This is unrelated but I’m taking The Blow Monkeys.

King Hippo

Pick #2. Not to be confused (as the European Euros near) with Portugal. The Team

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zzzffLkzNKY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fatboy Slim

scotchnaut

I hate bands that can’t make up their frickin’ minds!

Doktor Zymm

But he’s a dude, nawt a band

ballsofsteelandfury
Last edited 6 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, I overlooked that stipulation.

ballsofsteelandfury

Bikini Kill

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ve done songs about murder, but if I did just the word “kill” and included band names, I bet it could make a valid Request Line topic. Case in point: My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult.

Last edited 6 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. Soul Coughing

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This gets stuck in my head sometimes for no reason and just stays there for a while

https://youtu.be/rEFQTY4hjUk?si=34_6UeI1FpVOpzSz

Redshirt

We’re getting closer to Trump being behind bars. It’ll be for Contempt of Court, but its something.

Also, The Blues Brothers.

The Blues Brothers – Jailhouse Rock (Official Audio) (youtube.com)

Brocky

The Butthole surfers!

King Hippo

goddamnit you win

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Senor Weaselo

War Crime Speedrun is a hypothetical Israeli-Palestinian punk-metal band, of course.

So, first pick of a band not made up in my head in reference to geopolitical events: The Killers

Sharkbait

Their logo is just a picture of Henry Kissinger

King Hippo

These guys, especially how they done spelt they nomenclature…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtYre1GABao

Brocky

Bare naked ladies

I don’t think any other band better understood that being memorable may be more important than being talented

Redshirt
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll start with Nashville Pussy

BugEyedBoo

Grateful Dead.

Q: What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of weed.
A: Man, this band sucks!