(Featured image left blank so Rikki can do something with little people)
This morning’s topic comes from relatively new contributor Senor Weaselo. This is his second contribution, and it is much appreciated. Mostly because when I get carried away with a weekend’s worth of activities, (sadly, nothing crazy, just having to mow the lawn, do everything around the house I can’t do during the week, and attend a friend’s kid’s fiancee’s graduation party), and forget to do this until winding things down for the evening, I don’t have to think anything up. It’s a great feeling using someone else’s work as your own! Just ask virtually anyone who’s been published in academia.
Anyway, this week we’re doing band names. In his suggestion Senor suggested that ‘War Crimes Speedrun’ would be a good band name and he’s right, assuming you’re going death metal and not ‘opening act for Taylor Swift’s next tour.’ That probably wouldn’t mesh well.
Finessing the idea a bit we’re going with actual band names. But! it doesn’t have to be an actual band that actually existed: You can draft the name of a fictitious band if you so choose.
Remember, you are not drafting the band for the quality of their music, only the quality of the name. They can suck, the mere beginning of one of their songs wafting from your car radio speakers can make you want to drive into the nearest bridge abutment, but if they have a cool name you can go ahead and draft them with no fears that you are endorsing their music.
In a somewhat arbitrary decision I am decreeing that solo acts are not eligible. Cher may have a cool name, but she is not a band.
Our commissioner for this draft is, at Senor’s suggestion, the late Dom Pardo.
Senor didn’t give me a pick with his idea, so he’ll just have to jump in as time allows. With the first pick I am taking 1980’s Italian hardcore punk group Cheetah Chrome Motherfuckers.
Were they any good? Fuck if I know. If I ever heard anything they did I’ve long since forgotten it, but I always remembered hearing that name and thinking it was pretty awesome.
The rest of you are on that clock.
The “Beasts of Bourbon”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk7pxBGLqaM
Wonder if JJFozz has heard of these guys…
2nd round value Blue Oyster Cult
https://youtu.be/sYkvpNR8BGU?si=Ajb-jXTB-x08OIDc
Needs more cowbell, and an umlaut.
2 groups I’m surprised are still on the board:
Spın̈al Tap
2Cock Shakur
Are you all working and not just endlessly hitting refresh while waiting for your car to be done?
Mouse Rat
https://youtu.be/mjKR-HAUnz4?si=It0_nyGaizQWP8iX
Surprised not to see this one yet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVRcmnVYlLI
Maybe it’s because the name is funny at first, but sounds less funny every time you hear it…
And it’s simple, but I always thought The Vandals was about as good as you could possibly do for a punk band.
And of course…
Ditto, re: “The Misfits” & “The Clash”
Short, simple, & gets the point across.
And how could we forget about The Scofflaws?
Tomandandy
Not a pick, but I always thought “The Racket” would be a good double entendre band name.
Led Zeppelin
The Flying Burrito Brothers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcU04NGMQb8&list=PLX66jEixZe1y4paTM0deBNhE8wJhnJR8x&index=2
Porno for Pyros
https://youtu.be/HE3OuHukrmQ?si=xC7REFU4liEIoRBA
The Gaye Bykers on Acid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz2F4cUDCYE
I was just looking for them! Here’s a fun fact about them, sometimes they played in full drag, and went by the name Lesbian Dopeheads on Mopeds
A buddy of mine in college played bass in a band by the name of Ben Dover* and The Lawn Furniture.
*hey, it was funny in the mid-80’s!
Folk Implosion and Deluxx Folk Implosion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZuJpgX_j9c
“Ooh, love that movie!” – Matt Gaetz
Parliament Funkadelic
Auntie Christ
Flock of seagulls
Because it’s so dumb its funny
The electric prunes.
Honest Bob and the Factory to Dealer Incentives.
https://youtu.be/AGFKDzgKzzE?si=gyY-KP6SRBHDtwGN
Did I hop the queue and post ahead of the limit? Yes. BECAUSE IN ROCK AND ROLL THERE ARE NO RULES!
OK, but you’ll be answering to Dom Pardo.
Jim Jones & The Kool-Ade Kids! (Featured album: “Trust Me”)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgva5pYVEmM
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.
This clip is always good for a laugh
https://youtu.be/1qACvW7NGGY?si=sS5BrPV6RuCszi7C
This was next on my draft board
You know, egg salad sandwiches never got their proper due until 5 Neat Guys came along.
/maybe someone can post the tune because my computer is stumbling and drunk..
//here we go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMjtvSABQ3Q&ab_channel=SCTV
2. Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. So risqué that they changed it to Psychedelic Popcorn Crumpets instead!
Yes, I confirmed the name refers to the entire trio (The Reverend Horton Heat):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2u4gRMqvcg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kcsvAMvyPI
Lords of Acid
The Dayglo Abortions.
Punk bands have the best names…
They came up with some fun album names too, IIRC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CBx_mGxJNo
The Jesus Lizard.
Best named band also comes up with best song name…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeuNckmt7h8
Let’s acknowledge that Foo Fighters was a great pick, as was messing with Walken
https://youtube.com/shorts/JGGsft6zq4k?si=e2xUtXxHuusfJRJn
Disaster Area from Hitchhiker’s Guide.
Propellerheads were cool for that one hit and you know Qaron has cornered some poor UDFA and said, “Listen to this ‘History Repeating’ song, makes you think we’ve all been here before, right?”
Meat Puppets
Was going to be my second pick
They would absolutely be my first pick if this were a “bands who sound nothing like their name would make you think” draft.
Still a very fine name, of course.
“The Who” remains supreme. Like, the fact that no one blinks an eye at it now, but its simplicity is its brilliance
https://youtu.be/SLOq6U-e39Y?si=IJGf8LOKRod4h-q4
Crash Test Dummies!
Surprised it was never copywrited
Skinny Puppy
Har Mar Superstar
Huh. According to youtube he’s playing here in LA on May 21:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSMCNLpgZ5o
Crucial Taunt.
https://youtu.be/dX4LDoGBYlI?si=lyyWgBARVQw1HeDN
I almost took The Shitty Beatles but they suck
Hey Bobo, be gentle with your mandible down there!
This is unrelated but I’m taking The Blow Monkeys.
Pick #2. Not to be confused (as the European Euros near) with Portugal. The Team
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zzzffLkzNKY
Fatboy Slim
I hate bands that can’t make up their frickin’ minds!
But he’s a dude, nawt a band
Right?? Might as well pick A Guy Called Gerald
https://doorfliesopen.com/2019/06/26/twbs-on-relationships-part-ii-aka-why-is-gerald-here/
Ah yes, I overlooked that stipulation.
Bikini Kill
We’ve done songs about murder, but if I did just the word “kill” and included band names, I bet it could make a valid Request Line topic. Case in point: My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult.
Dammit!
/erases dry erase board
1. Soul Coughing
This gets stuck in my head sometimes for no reason and just stays there for a while
https://youtu.be/rEFQTY4hjUk?si=34_6UeI1FpVOpzSz
We’re getting closer to Trump being behind bars. It’ll be for Contempt of Court, but its something.
Also, The Blues Brothers.
The Blues Brothers – Jailhouse Rock (Official Audio) (youtube.com)
The Butthole surfers!
goddamnit you win
War Crime Speedrun is a hypothetical Israeli-Palestinian punk-metal band, of course.
So, first pick of a band not made up in my head in reference to geopolitical events: The Killers
Their logo is just a picture of Henry Kissinger
These guys, especially how they done spelt they nomenclature…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtYre1GABao
Bare naked ladies
I don’t think any other band better understood that being memorable may be more important than being talented
Naked Lunch (youtube.com)
I’ll start with Nashville Pussy
Grateful Dead.
Q: What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of weed.
A: Man, this band sucks!