INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
Hey man, are you there?
…yeah, I’m here.
I’m gonna need a bit of an assist today.
…still a bit wobbly from last night, huh?
Just a bit.
…don’t sweat it, I’ve got you. Let’s roll.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER sits at the soundboard, looking as cheerful as we’ve ever seen him. DJ 3000 is relaxing in his regular spot.
DJ 3000: YOU’RE LOOKING POSITIVELY EBULLIENT TODAY.
PRODUCER: Ebullient?
DJ 3000: EFFERVESCENT.
PRODUCER: Oh – yeah! I was expecting to spend today worrying about the prospect of a hung jury for an important court case, but…now I don’t have to! What’s with the fancy words? Did they push out an update to your vocabulary module?
DJ 3000: NO, I JUST ADJUSTED THE ELOQUENCE SETTINGS TO THEIR PINNACLE.
PRODUCER: I’m also pleased because I managed to line up a guest for today.
DJ 3000: SPLENDID. IS THEIR ARRIVAL IMMINENT? WE’RE SCHEDULED TO BEGIN TRANSMISSION PRESENTLY.
PRODUCER: Actually, they’re on house arrest, so I’ll need to you patch them through via Zoom.
DJ 3000: INDUBITABLY.
— [ZOOM CALL FLIES OPEN] —
DJ 3000: SENATOR REID? WHAT AN HONOR!
PRODUCER: [confused] Senator?
DJ 3000: HA HA, JUST BEING FACETIOUS, IT IS BROADLY KNOWN THAT BRITT REID ISN’T A MISSOURI STATE SENATOR.
BRITT REID: [hiccups, takes a long drink from a bottle full of colored liquid]
PRODUCER: What’s that you’re drinking, Britt?
BRITT REID: [holds up the bottle]
PRODUCER: Ah, I see someone else was celebrating last night’s verdict too.
BRITT REID: Verdict? Shit, did I miss another court date? Ah, fuck…
PRODUCER: No, no, the conviction of, uh…never mind. Thanks for joining us, Britt.
BRITT REID: Sure, sure. Can we keep this quick, though? I’m kinda busy.
PRODUCER: Busy? It looks like you’re just lounging around by the pool.
BRITT REID: [nods along] Yeah, house arrest sucks.
DJ 3000: INDEED. PERHAPS IF YOU COULD BE SO GENEROUS AS TO PROVIDE US WITH A SUBJECT FOR TODAY’S PROGRAM, WE CAN RELEASE YOU TO RESUME YOUR PREVIOUS ACTIVITIES.
BRITT REID: Um…sure. [glances at bottle] How about non-alcoholic drinks?
PRODUCER: Huh. Sure, why not?
DJ 3000: STATISTICAL ANALYSIS SUGGESTS WE MIGHT WANT TO ADD A COROLLARY OR TWO TO EXPAND THE ASSEMBLAGE OF AVAILABLE CANDIDATES.
PRODUCER: Okay…how about we include songs about vessels that could potentially contain non-alcoholic beverages?
DJ 3000: THAT SHOULD SUFFICE.
PRODUCER: Britt, you okay with that?
BRITT REID: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever.
PRODUCER: Got something to start us out with?
BRITT REID: Sure, let’s roll with a little Vampire Weekend.
Today’s theme is non-alcoholic beverages, and the potential containers thereof (cups, chalices, bottles, etc). Basically anything potable that doesn’t contain alcohol is fair game, but if you request songs about water please make them ones that are specifically about drinking water. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?b(!B_5qU33z3 and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last week’s puzzle answer of “Roll the Bones” by Rush was requested by 2Pack, but went unclaimed as the puzzle answer until BeefRiverLives scooped it up a day later. Bottoms up!
The world was a better place when Bubba was alive, miss you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoyWAOuQWHw
New York update:
Went to the Bronx zoo, and a bird shit on my nephew.
Not a bird on display at the zoo. Just a random bird passing overhead
A bird pooped on me two days ago! It’s an epidemic!
A birdemic?
https://youtu.be/jE5dJDgZ644?si=1Edca_LUZi5xZ1E4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgiAE_dTEXU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z55MK7oemME
Seeing the 70’s Coca-Cola song reminds me of how we sang it at my elementary school:
I wish that everyone could be
A dope fiend just like me
I’d like to front the world some coke
And have them sell for me…
“Non-alcoholic drinks? That’s more of my son’s thing. Eli, have you got any requests for the nice man?” – Olivia Manning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W43Jsz-T1ys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gb0gXMORnk
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjkYOAiWzWM
My friend that got me into internet writing used to run a record label, and this guy was signed to it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h009XoyWB1A
It is, of course, a cover:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDWfT10RFG8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GoXFG0wwSE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D42XLlPW3O0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqGvc_XUMqE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAEEJCmQExM
THIS BAND I CALL THEM ANDY REID DURING COVID TELLING ALL THE MEAT INDUSTRY EMPLOYEES TO GET THEIR MALINGERING ASSES BACK TO WORK BECAUSE IT IS FURY IN THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHjaIQXUd9Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7–pL7y5lHo
H/t Reddit: Thanks to Trump, the average number of convictions per president is now 0.76.
How funny, that’s the same as his ring size!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7XHCi1ODqY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIIG4gSXL0Y
I think I got the puzzle song!
https://youtu.be/0x2mV9JktrE?si=8-X31TdSFDXx7uFq
Correct, just a bit late.
Shit!
I managed to blow right past it, sorry!
That’s okay, you still got it right!
Hey, shit happens, GG. No big whoop.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvBMcfAAYCc
Apt.
Inshallah, my imaginary homey
https://youtu.be/mu9VA3pTEzs?si=HC7cOVR56nQiUZ2J
https://youtu.be/_eQhtAh-SJM?si=xwpBBMnxdtlQ9hY3
Doubke shot?
https://youtu.be/yqIsh9Vdnuc?si=cFozaBZX2QtUDUJz
Double, but the k seems weirdly appropriate!
https://youtu.be/pk9-28HgxfE?si=7DastfQVECCKQirX
Nice!
https://youtu.be/PBJyJv7OF2M?si=P64MYwckZqatSxlG
These guys predicted OJ’s Bronco chase
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CupN8ntXE1A&ab_channel=FarQ
https://youtu.be/TT30jj_L1Dc?si=Ozj8HDLLSe09xpXC
I need a beer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csdCM3G2l8A
DOUBLE SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtwyZqTvrGo&ab_channel=ThePogues-Topic
Ever try this stuff? Tastes like a campfire.
https://youtu.be/GAjbK18zw3w?si=3ioqdMQfQhFsw6MR
(concerned look)
Gordon never has a second cup at home
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCu2BClWs3E&ab_channel=GordonLightfoot-Topic
https://youtu.be/iQJaVILgl2M?si=a2TLZRv682O_xMbE
Artist Name:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0DK-0fIKCw
Sure, why not!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dZW1C3neao
And this tribute to the classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q06tcRae13k&t=44s&pp=ygURZG9uYWxkIGdsb3ZlciBzbmw%3D
Pepsi features prominently in this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ&ab_channel=BlankTV
Here’s a fun cover:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO3Bnc2gFeU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpfFpuyTt1s
Just ignore the gin part
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWCZse1iwE0&ab_channel=SnoopDoggVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR5Sr_li7qo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCR-uby4a-4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK8XBsYJf5U
Kinda seems like a Primus song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SicUcvP_P7k&ab_channel=AuddyMartinez
Self contained double shot!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6YZA43fitk
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrbFQEcpJ3A
Like this one?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFPLLARttwg
Yup. Nothing like a quenching pint o’ pork.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtxRXndvruk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-vekq_nUrQ
Kelis has a couple thoughts on this topic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA&ab_channel=KelisVEVO
And the second
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dhAoXfK9wM&pp=ygUaa2VsaXMgc3VnYXIgaG9uZXkgaWNlZCB0ZWE%3D
And of course the puzzle song from a few weeks back…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtcbJjGHDHg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jacRnWps8sM
Pretty sure at no point does the doctor instruct that rum be added, so this should work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsSuueEGQSM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mSmOcmk7uQ
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNkKq9mVeVc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-j7_knodf0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQww3HeL8M4
Thematic double shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujgqOgMIwfA
Breakfast of champions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hll_pO59ksc&ab_channel=RufusWainwrightVEVO
In some places they refer to soda as “pop”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zUUtf7gOe8
DOUBLE POP SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8z_nR0cOOU
Man, what ever happened to these guys?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dcIPGzxsl8&ab_channel=NirvanaVEVO
Woo songs about abortifacients!
Song is also about fudge
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeiSx5MNDvg&pp=ygUSbWlsayBtaWxrIGxlbW9uYWRl
Around the corner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9JQkxu_ofE
Puzzle song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x2mV9JktrE
Seems like a strong possibility!
Got it! I was hoping it might trick folks into thinking it was about juice.
Woo! (yep, nice bit of misdirection there. That is where my mind originally went)
I thought the clue was Boob Squeezes, which meant milk for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cldTYkUEDw
You rock a piss, I’mma rock some Mitchell.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nryc7h6TCIE