Request Line: Non-Alcoholic Beverages

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

Hey man, are you there?

…yeah, I’m here.

I’m gonna need a bit of an assist today.

…still a bit wobbly from last night, huh?

Just a bit.

…don’t sweat it, I’ve got you.  Let’s roll.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER sits at the soundboard, looking as cheerful as we’ve ever seen him.  DJ 3000 is relaxing in his regular spot.

DJ 3000: YOU’RE LOOKING POSITIVELY EBULLIENT TODAY.

PRODUCER: Ebullient?

DJ 3000: EFFERVESCENT.

PRODUCER: Oh – yeah!  I was expecting to spend today worrying about the prospect of a hung jury for an important court case, but…now I don’t have to! What’s with the fancy words? Did they push out an update to your vocabulary module?

DJ 3000: NO, I JUST ADJUSTED THE ELOQUENCE SETTINGS TO THEIR PINNACLE.

PRODUCER: I’m also pleased because I managed to line up a guest for today.

DJ 3000: SPLENDID.  IS THEIR ARRIVAL IMMINENT? WE’RE SCHEDULED TO BEGIN TRANSMISSION PRESENTLY.

PRODUCER: Actually, they’re on house arrest, so I’ll need to you patch them through via Zoom.

DJ 3000: INDUBITABLY.

— [ZOOM CALL FLIES OPEN] —

DJ 3000: SENATOR REID? WHAT AN HONOR!

PRODUCER: [confused] Senator?

DJ 3000: HA HA, JUST BEING FACETIOUS, IT IS BROADLY KNOWN THAT BRITT REID ISN’T A MISSOURI STATE SENATOR.

BRITT REID: [hiccups, takes a long drink from a bottle full of colored liquid]

PRODUCER: What’s that you’re drinking, Britt?

BRITT REID: [holds up the bottle]

 

PRODUCER: Ah, I see someone else was celebrating last night’s verdict too.

BRITT REID: Verdict? Shit, did I miss another court date? Ah, fuck…

PRODUCER: No, no, the conviction of, uh…never mind.  Thanks for joining us, Britt.

BRITT REID: Sure, sure.  Can we keep this quick, though?  I’m kinda busy.

PRODUCER: Busy? It looks like you’re just lounging around by the pool.

BRITT REID: [nods along] Yeah, house arrest sucks.

DJ 3000: INDEED. PERHAPS IF YOU COULD BE SO GENEROUS AS TO PROVIDE US WITH A SUBJECT FOR TODAY’S PROGRAM, WE CAN RELEASE YOU TO RESUME YOUR PREVIOUS ACTIVITIES.

BRITT REID: Um…sure. [glances at bottle] How about non-alcoholic drinks?

PRODUCER: Huh.  Sure, why not?

DJ 3000: STATISTICAL ANALYSIS SUGGESTS WE MIGHT WANT TO ADD A COROLLARY OR TWO TO EXPAND THE ASSEMBLAGE OF AVAILABLE CANDIDATES.

PRODUCER: Okay…how about we include songs about vessels that could potentially contain non-alcoholic beverages?

DJ 3000: THAT SHOULD SUFFICE.

PRODUCER: Britt, you okay with that?

BRITT REID: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever.

PRODUCER: Got something to start us out with?

BRITT REID: Sure, let’s roll with a little Vampire Weekend.

Today’s theme is non-alcoholic beverages, and the potential containers thereof (cups, chalices, bottles, etc).  Basically anything potable that doesn’t contain alcohol is fair game, but if you request songs about water please make them ones that are specifically about drinking water.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?b(!B_5qU33z3 and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Roll the Bones” by Rush was requested by 2Pack, but went unclaimed as the puzzle answer until BeefRiverLives scooped it up a day later. Bottoms up!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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DJ TAJ

The world was a better place when Bubba was alive, miss you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoyWAOuQWHw

Brocky

New York update:

Went to the Bronx zoo, and a bird shit on my nephew.

Not a bird on display at the zoo. Just a random bird passing overhead

King Hippo

Seeing the 70’s Coca-Cola song reminds me of how we sang it at my elementary school:

I wish that everyone could be
A dope fiend just like me
I’d like to front the world some coke
And have them sell for me…

BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy

H/t Reddit: Thanks to Trump, the average number of convictions per president is now 0.76.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

I think I got the puzzle song!
https://youtu.be/0x2mV9JktrE?si=8-X31TdSFDXx7uFq

BeefReeferLives

Correct, just a bit late.

Gumbygirl

Shit!

Gumbygirl

I managed to blow right past it, sorry!

BeefReeferLives

Hey, shit happens, GG. No big whoop.

BeefReeferLives

Apt.

King Hippo

Inshallah, my imaginary homey

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

Double, but the k seems weirdly appropriate!

SonOfSpam

These guys predicted OJ’s Bronco chase

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CupN8ntXE1A&ab_channel=FarQ

DJ TAJ
BeefReeferLives

Ever try this stuff? Tastes like a campfire.

comment image

SonOfSpam

(concerned look)

Gordon never has a second cup at home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCu2BClWs3E&ab_channel=GordonLightfoot-Topic

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Pepsi features prominently in this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ&ab_channel=BlankTV

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
WCS
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives

Self contained double shot!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6YZA43fitk

yeah right
BeefReeferLives

Yup. Nothing like a quenching pint o’ pork.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Kelis has a couple thoughts on this topic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA&ab_channel=KelisVEVO

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
Doktor Zymm

Woo songs about abortifacients!

SonOfSpam
Gumbygirl

Around the corner

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Seems like a strong possibility!

BeefReeferLives

Woo! (yep, nice bit of misdirection there. That is where my mind originally went)

ballsofsteelandfury

I thought the clue was Boob Squeezes, which meant milk for me.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cldTYkUEDw

You rock a piss, I’mma rock some Mitchell.