Request Line: Let Me Sing You the Song of My People…

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

Guest producer HUNTER RENFROW is seated in front of the soundboard…

…having a conversation with DJ 3000, who is perched in his regular spot… 

…as the two talk about the conclusion of the Pan-African War in the current DJ 3000’s original timeline.

DJ 3000: …AND THEN MOZAMBIQUE SIGNED THE TREATY, AND IT’S BEEN PRETTY TRANQUIL SINCE THEN.

HUNTER RENFROW: Fascinating!  I always thought that Mozambique sounded like a cool place – is Paradise Island, like, as nice as it sounds?

DJ 3000: THE TRUTH IS, THE WHOLE “PARADISE ISLAND” THING IS ONLY A NAME.

HUNTER RENFROW: Oh really?

DJ 3000: YEAH, IT’S ACTUALLY A PENINSULA.

HUNTER RENFROW: [chuckles] Look at DJ 3000 with the jokes!  I take it you have The Simpsons in your universe?

DJ 3000: WE DO. I DOWNLOADED THE SERIES HERE AND THERE ARE ACTUALLY VERY FEW DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE TWO.  EXCEPT THAT WHERE I’M FROM THEY WRAPPED UP THE SERIES AFTER FIFTEEN SEASONS.

HUNTER RENFROW: Yeah, from what I’ve seen of the new stuff that was the smart move.  Mr. Baumgartner refuses to even acknowledge that it’s even still on the air here.

DJ 3000: SPEAKING OF A/V CLUB STUFF…IT’S BEEN REALLY GREAT OF YOU TO FILL IN.  I’VE SPOKEN TO THE STATION MANAGEMENT AND THEY AGREED TO WRITE IT UP AS A FORMAL INTERNSHIP.

HUNTER RENFROW: [excited] Really? So I can get out of having to take an elective?

DJ 3000: THAT’S RIGHT, MY FRIEND.  ONE FREE PERIOD, COMING UP!

HUNTER RENFROW: I can’t believe how well this worked out.  When I first came in I had this whole idea about how I was going to do a series of “Hunter’s Realms” posts about alternate universes and all the topics would be associated with that, but in the end I really enjoyed just chilling here with you.

DJ 3000: YEAH, IT’S BEEN NICE.

HUNTER RENFROW: So whatever happened to the PRODUCER? I thought there would also be some kind of story arc about how he got stuck in Phoenix somehow and couldn’t get back here to California.

DJ 3000: BEATS ME.  I HAVEN’T HEARD A WORD FROM HIM SINCE…OH.

HUNTER RENFROW: What?

DJ 3000: I JUST REALIZED THAT IF HE WAS REACHING OUT, HE WAS PROBABLY SENDING THINGS TO THE ORIGINAL DJ 3000’S EMAIL ADDRESS.  MINE IS A BIT DIFFERENT.  LET ME SEE IF I CAN LOG IN TO HIS ACCOUNT; MAYBE WE HAVE THE SAME PASSWORDS…

The lights on DJ 3000’s console begin flashing as he downloads a large amount of data and begins parsing the text.

DJ 3000: [to itself] OH.  OH MY.  YES, THAT’S QUITE A PICKLE.

HUNTER RENFROW: [out of the loop] What, what happened?

DJ 3000: I’LL TELL YOU IN A MINUTE.  BUT FIRST, WE’VE GOT TO GET THIS SHOW ROLLING.  HAVE YOU GOT A TOPIC FOR US TO CLOSE OUT THE SEASON WITH?

HUNTER RENFROW: I sure do!  I thought we could do “songs”.

DJ 3000’s “Gruden Module” light comes on.

DJ 3000: THIS TOPIC I CALL IT A FEMALE DWARF WORKING FOR DABNEY COLEMAN’S CHARACTER IN NINE TO FIVE BECAUSE IT IS A LITTLE BROAD.

HUNTER RENFROW: No, no, I meant songs that specifically declare themselves as such.  Like “The Rain Song” or “Ballad of  Thin Man”, that kind of stuff.

DJ 3000: SOUNDS GOOD, LET’S DO IT. WANT ME TO CUE UP ONE OF THE ONES YOU MENTIONED, OR HAVE YOU GOT SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND TO GET US STARTED?

HUNTER RENFROW: It’s almost football season, so let’s go with something that will make folks want to run through a brick wall.  Cue up a little Blur, please.

Today’s theme is “Songs”.  We’re looking for songs that specifically declare themselves as such (or “Ballads”, or “Odes”, etc.) in the title.  Please links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?kUnDuZ and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Sweet Jane” by The Velvet Underground and the Cowboy Junkies was solved by BeefReeferLives. Thank you to everyone who contributed to yet another fabulous season of Request Line, and may all the fantasy stat corrections this season be in your favor. 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives

“It’s my wrinkly crinkly bag of skin”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc7OZfa7_Os

scotchnaut

Hey, I’ve got one of those!

scotchnaut

[is triggered]

-The Soviet Union

scotchnaut

Oh, here’s a nice segue…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypPrKnUew44

scotchnaut

Why don’t more guys play that harder-edged sounding slide guitar?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdhxS-eeMX4

BeefReeferLives
scotchnaut

Here’s a memory related to this song. I moved up to Timmins in ’97 to open up the territory. After I moved my stuff into my apartment I drove up and down the main street that runs through the town and this tune came on the radio and I turned it up. Maybe a minute later I see a guy in a full-blown gorilla suit but he’s wearing a Darth Vader mask. “What the fuck is going on in this town?”, I said to myself. Later I realized it was Halloween.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-AKI951poE

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
2Pack
ArmedandHammered

I had no idea the Blair Witch was a fan of Lynyrd Skynyrd

ArmedandHammered

3 min difference, so close

2Pack

I also blame the metric system

2Pack

See below

BeefReeferLives

Is this the puzzle?

ArmedandHammered

If so, it was merely happenstance to get it.

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Just found out this exists. It should not. Terrible, terrible stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G59uyhcIhSI

BeefReeferLives
ArmedandHammered

Time for some Southern Rock:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5ptavYnUBM

ArmedandHammered

Double shot of Southern Rock:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkOsccnyFWs

2Pack

Shit, I claim the time warp…

Gumbygirl

Purty lil’ love song!

BeefReeferLives

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9h2H5Sgzfw

but fuck that Ayn Rand bullshit.

DJ TAJ

Let’s say that you know me and if you did and if you were to look close you would (albeit a fatter version) see me no less than 3 times during this video. Sitting right at the bar with the boys I am.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89NjEeHku8o

Let’s dance

DJ TAJ

I would guess some of you folks have been right to that bar before. The video was shot at Molly Malone’s right off of Wilshire boulevard.

BeefReeferLives

Maybe a bit of a stretch, but it’s the James Gang, so I had to post…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkZepbHIrvE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_qHU_6Ofc0

ArmedandHammered

Stretch or not, that is some good shit!

BeefReeferLives

Word. Love me some old James Gang

DJ TAJ

Let’s get some Jesus up in here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T13fYraI56Q

SonOfSpam
2Pack
SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam
Gumbygirl

He died recently, I’m pretty sure

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Mr. Ayo
SonOfSpam

Hey remember the 90s? (Scott Weiland doesn’t, poor bastard)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjJL9DGU7Gg&pp=ygUUaW50ZXJzdGF0ZSBsb3ZlIHNvbmc%3D

SonOfSpam

Fred Willard and Dolly Parton in the same episode!

(Also Madden and Summerall)

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Ok cool. It’s a good song at least.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

TIME WARP!

comment image

SonOfSpam

Blair Witching in the same thread!

BeefReeferLives

Well now THAT loosens things up a bit…

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
2Pack
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
DJ TAJ

I’ll drink anything you don’t want

BeefReeferLives

One barrel? Sounds prudent…

DJ TAJ
BeefReeferLives

Good to hear that you’re not procrastinating…

ArmedandHammered

getting ready to start on mine as the work day comes to a close

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives