Get Your Hot Garbage Here! Your Thursday Night Football Open Thread

As you may have guessed, I don’t have high hopes for this game. Fortunately, when it comes to football I’ve been wrong many, many times before.

Minutiae:

-Eli Manning heads the list of retired players that are eligible for the first time to be voted into the Hall of Fame. I have some bad news-he’s eventually going to get in. His thin resume is that he led the Giants to two miraculous upsets of the hated Pats, he was very much liked by the media and players alike, he played in New York his entire career and he is a successful social media personality. Yes, the bar is that low.

-Some Browns rookie pleaded no contest to some lesser domestic violence charges. Mike Hall Jr. will be experiencing a wee deja vu on Sunday when the Giants plead same halfway through the third quarter.

-No one is scoring these days-a rookie QB has yet to toss a score through the air so far. Well, with the exception of the Saints. Their 91 points scored so far is the most any team has put on the board since 2009. Much like an intense discussion regarding meatballs in the Fozz household there will be a cooling-off period. Mainly because so far they’ve refused to play three wr sets and defenses will adjust to that right quick.

-Tee Higgins’ pretend groin sprain is coming along nicely-he practiced today.

To The Game!

Pats/Jets:

-Is Jacoby Brissett the perfect cromulent bridge QB? Though he’s yet to throw for 150+ yards he’s also not thrown an INT and made good game-managing decisions. That resulted in the upset vs Cincy and the OT loss to Seattle. This is everything you hope your future tablet-toting QB can do while the rook-in-waiting gets up to speed.

-Mike Williams was treated like the injury-prone dude that he is in week one-he ran all of two routes. Last week he didn’t get many targets but route participation ramped up to 23. This week? With Garrett Wilson drawing #1db Christian Gonzalez it would appear that the 6’3″, 218 Williams will be covered primarily by the 5’9″, 185lb Jonathan Jones. Jump ball, anyone?

-Aaron Rodgers has all of one pass over 17 yards to date. He’s kinda exactly what the Jets need right now, someone that doesn’t turn the ball over. He might think he’s still a dynamic difference-maker but those days are gone.

-Futility, meet the Jets-they have all of one non-OT win over New England since 2011.

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yeah right

AND home.

Long flight, watched maybe 5 movies, but home.
Eldest granddaughter picked us up at LAX.

Something that was cool was we did a US customs clearance at the Dublin Airport
Took a couple of minutes but allowed us to avoid customs at LAX!

Which is worth the price of admission by itself.

Got home. Nothing untoward and everything is unpacked and now me brain is spinnin’ wit the shite that went doon.

Decompressing and I’ll be back with a full report eventually.

Home.

WCS

Welcome back to the shit!

Did you miss election coverage?

yeah right

Not even for a second.

It was pretty amazing, depressing, surprising how many locals were dialed in to OUR election.

For the record: Bill Clinton is National fucking hero in West Belfast.

Because of the peace accord and because he of all people got Sinn Fein to come to the table.

They’re practically going to grant him saint status.

I just hinted at the Lewinsky thing and they moved right along to a different conversation.

Belfast will never leave my memory.

WCS

I don’t know what I had on my “yeah right’s Emerald Isle Adventure” BINGO card, but… definitely not that.

Awesome it was so awesome.

WCS

FFS… jumper on one of the eleventy billion bridges around here.

Here’s where things aren’t fun anymore.

WCS

I really don’t like the vibe from this.

yeah right

I’m not gonna plus one ya but I feel you. Be well and good luck.

Gumbygirl

I hope you are able to detach yourself from the misery of all that. I worry about you, that’s hard to deal with.

WCS

Detaching meself from reality is a skill I developed very young.

WCS

Admittedly though, the amount weirdness that parallel’s some episodes of the Grimm’s Fairy Tales cartoon when I was a kid and actual reality now isn’t too far off.

Different coat of paint on a fairly similar story.

Horatio Cornblower

Am I relaxing and getting ready for tomorrow with a nice hot cup of tea, a big dollop of honey, and my feet up in front of the Patriots post-game show?

Yes. Yes I am.

Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
WCS

Oh, good for you, Mr. High Fulootin’ Lawyer Man, what with your “comfort” and “ability to sleep.” I bet you even where a belt.

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Horatio Cornblower

Buddy, I’m not even wearing pants.

Sharkbait

Who is at this hour?

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s chilly here in LA tonight, so I’m wearing sweatpants.

yeah right

Not even socks. It’s balmy here.

ThePirateSloth

There’s a small music venue above the bar I am sitting at with the dogs, and there is a show tonight. A bunch of the employees of the venue have been coming down to the patio to interact with my older dog Jezebel, as she’s super friendly and awesome. One lady just told me “you’re saving quite a few people’s sanity right now, thank you”.

Me:comment image

ThePirateSloth
BeefReeferLives

“The NY Jets are like Bruce Springsteen. They’re based in New Jersey, and have spent the last four decades making grown men cry.”

NICE.

BeefReeferLives

& referring to QAaron as “Throw Rogan”.

Oh yeah…

BeefReeferLives

& then saying that when QAaron pushed off a hug from Saleh saying “What, is a close family member?”

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BeefReeferLives

Yeah, catch Nikki Glaser’s bit after the game. It’s on at about 4hrs:40min. (or, I imagine it will be on the interwebs)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well this tweet aged about as well as RFK Jr’s larynx…

https://x.com/Olivianuzzi/status/557206682787672064

SonOfSpam

Nuzzi was engaged to Lizza or maybe still izz but I’d think it’d fizzle out becuzz of the old man jizz stains

Horatio Cornblower

Someone tweeted something like “RFK nutting must sound like a bunch of nickels in a garbage disposal”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[dusts off hands] Welp, that’s enough internet for today, time for bed…

Last edited 1 month ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP4TP_YtAFA

This is how this jorb feels sometimes, and it’s incredible.

SonOfSpam

How many calls have you had from or about RFK Jr?

Sharkbait

Hey! This is the first Thursday my opponent in the Freezer Vodka league HASN’T had a running back drop 30+ points on me!

WCS

From the “That’s Sketchy As ALL Hell Department”:

Woman is going to bed, and notices a ladder outside her window that wasn’t there 30 minutes ago. Doesn’t know who’s it is, or why it’s there. That’s fucking gnarly.

Mr. Ayo

Ripped from the local headlines just today in my area:

“A woman who was asleep in her Bellevue apartment woke up to find a strange man standing over her while he performed a sex act.”

Sharkbait

Holy fuck thats terrifying

SonOfSpam

Sounds like a Jezebel Halloween story, which it’s almost time for if Jezebel still exists

BeefReeferLives

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ask her if she’s ever seen Drugstore Cowboy.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck, is that where I left it?

WCS

Wasn’t yours, unless you got a patsy.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh god, it wasn’t a step ladder, was it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sounds like the Bear Bandit was indulging in a little Haitian Delight with a journalist.

(Olivia Nuzzi, who unless I’m remembering incorrectly I had relatively high regard for)

WCS

Qaron has drank the blood of live foxes for over a decade. This Springfield, Ohio thing is making him consider taking a coaching jorb at Ohio State next.

BeefReeferLives

Jim Jordan can give him some great pointers, like “Completely ignore the repeated sexual assaults by the team doctor, and when it’s brought to your attention, ridicule the kids.”

SonOfSpam

Today has been WONDERFUL

SonOfSpam

Ew, she was 31 when they started bumpin bear cubs

WCS

Slow down there, Representative Gaetz.

SonOfSpam

RFK likes cougars I guess

Horatio Cornblower

Olivia Nuzzi is a huge piece of shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently so. I’m not sure why I remember her being cool, I hope I’m just getting her mixed up with somebody else.

Gatoraids

Drake going down like the Jets lined up Kendrick on D

Horatio Cornblower

Sneaky banner contender right here.

ThePirateSloth

I made friends – well, the dogs did – with the married couple at the table next to me. They’ve now informed me about The Kit Kat Club in Portland.

One stripper comes out wearing only a Darth Vader mask, one has Pennywise make up, one strippers theme is “social awkwardness” – she will walk around the stage, bend over so her asshole is just smiling at ya, then scream between her legs at you.

Soooooooooooo DFO meetup there soon?

ballsofsteelandfury

You had me at “asshole is just smiling at ya”

Last edited 1 month ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Unsurprised

Well, fuck. I guess so. I haven’t even been to Mary’s for the tacos, but I’ll go to a strip club for DFO.

Unsurprised

Whatever happened to the pieman?

ThePirateSloth

Have you at least been to The Acropolis for steak bites?

Brocky

Aaron Rodgers is os legitimately unlikeable it’s making me root for the patriots

Unsurprised

Let’s not say things we can’t take back.

Sharkbait

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Unsurprised

This score is surreal

Dunstan

Announcers in midseason Rodgers-slurping form.

Sharkbait

It’s awful. Kirk, he’s not gonna fuck you buddy.

Redshirt

“Not a problem with me.” – minisldr, NC

ThePirateSloth

What’s a Pirates favorite instrument?
A guitarrrrrrrrrrrrr

What’s a Pirates second favorite profession?
An arrrrrrrrchitect (that’s my personal bias joke, since I used to be an architect)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I do not believe that I have ever, in my life, seen the Jets look this competent.

WCS

He’s game-losing fumble in the Divisional Round will be so hilarious.

Sharkbait

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Dunstan

^Tua

Brocky

I wish i had seen this before last Sunday, but it still works,

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also Rich Lowry.

WCS

JV ball has “Souther… Alabama” (?) up on Appalachian State…

48-7?!

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Gatoraids

Rodgers bringing a contagious energy to the Jets

WCS

Super spreader event?

Brocky

I’ve got the game on mute.

Subtitles: “protect #8 at all costs”

Rodgers immediately gets sacked

2Pack

Back from Croatia, my first visit there since 2002. The country has really taken off and it was a wonderful visit. Last trip it was still pretty war torn, few scars remain today. I posted this Pic yesterday, and it’s not a good looking lady for once, but still can’t believe I took it. Brick would be proud.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That is really cool!

Gumbygirl

Beautiful!

Doktor Zymm

I was there in 2007 or 2008, was already starting to redevelop. Lovely area of the world!

WCS

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Some drunk dude came brandishing an “s”word at a couple walking by. Of course, by the time the police got there, our ninja here was gone.

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
ballsofsteelandfury

Shit?

Brocky

That’s the only s-word I know that gets censored, so I’m still guessing

Doktor Zymm

Was it a cutlass?

ThePirateSloth

It was me.

Unsurprised

Sybian?