Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Your memory is a monster. It summons with will of its own. You think you have a memory but it has you [in bed].
John Irving

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Hello Belfast! I showed restraint and did NOT order an Irish car bomb at the pub. Jesus Christ the black taxi tour of The Troubles was a fucking gut punch.

They still close the gates that divide the city every fucking day.

But the people are so fucking resilient and are trying desperately to move forward.

Had a lovely Irish stew as well.
yeah right

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Brady’s oldest son wears douchebag T-shirts, a backwards trucker hat, and sports a paedo moustache
King Hippo

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LAR’s balloon payment on their Super Bowl LVI ARM has come due. That roster is empty.
blaxabbath

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┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
Root for Scorigami
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
Sharkbait

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Congrats to whoever took the under [ ALT VS PHI]
Doktor Zymm

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kirk cousins is a lot like a trump assassin

makes a lot of headlines, seems to pack some firepower, likely a republican voter

but cannot shoot beyond 10 yards and is ultimately useless
fleshwound_NPG

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Rain pouring on the tin roof, winds swirling through the trees and across the deck, and I am high as a kite. Peace out as I decouple from the electronic world and connect with the natural one. Live Long and Prosper!
ArmedandHammered

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At 4 minutes and 11 seconds, the GWS v Gold Coast game highlight reel is already twice as long as Bryce Young’s NFL highlight reel.
blaxabbath

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I quit a pretty nice union gig to return to work with special needs children. The money is about the same, but I feel like a have a purpose for the first time in forever.
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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I remember asking an interviewer what the typical billable hours were (a lot of firms advertise the minimum, which is usually ungodly high to begin with, but it’s like pieces of flair at Shenanigan’s — you’re expected to do more than the minimum), and he said that most people worked, oh, 2400 billables or so.

Either he was a poor judge of character or my poker face was better than I thought, because I managed not to look appalled and he said, “you’re gonna love it here, I can tell.”

I did not take that job, instead opting for a job at We’re Kinda Sorta Biglaw If You Squint, which had only moderately insane expectations. Eventually I got to the point where I would have been coming up for partner, and I was not willing to make the push that would have been required to assure them that I was really the kind of workaholic they were looking for. I got out before they pushed me out, and now I work at Lunch Is The Highlight Of Our Day Law. I make a lot less money than my former colleagues but have retained some shreds of sanity.
Dunstan

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As usual, our spiritual advisor has hit the nail right on its shiny flat head. Obviously, Gumby and I could have taken many more lucrative paths than the ones we chose, but je ne regrette rien! We only had a short time with our son, but we showed him a bigger chunk of the world than most kids ever get to see. Now that my husband is nearing the end too, I’m so fucking grateful that we’ve had a blast while we were young enough to enjoy it, instead of waiting for retirement to do the fun stuff. I am not going to be a wealthy old lady, but I have what I need, and awesome memories to keep me company. And you chucklefucks too!
Gumbygirl

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I’ve tended to prioritie things in my life quite differently than most and I thank my parents for being very weird and sane people.
My dad routinely turned down promotions with significant raises because he knew he didn’t want to manage people, and my mom switched fields to get a work from home job when that was barely a thing in the late 80s/early 90s and a few years earlier gave up a really solid job at J&J to go live in Germany for a couple years.
They also pushed grad school for the career flexibility it gives you (not that grad school was a hard sell for me, was sure I was gonna get a PhD even when I was 8, lol).
Doktor Zymm

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Great writeup Rev.

Turned down a more-money and more-responsibility job about six months ago; the clincher was when the last interviewer casually tossed off “of course there’s gonna be night and weekend work” as though I wasn’t a 55 year old gadabout and raconteur. The choice was about quality of life and sticking with the devil I knew was the right call.

As lawyers go, you’re fairly smart.
SonOfSpam

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/so I was swimming across the lake again this evening
//this exchange is pretty much verbatim

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Tonight at the dinner table I was reminiscing with my kids about married life and remembered the time my wife and I got into a screaming, shouting, “I”m going to my parents”, fight about the proper way to cook meatballs.

YOU FRY THEM LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER DID
I BAKE THEM LIKE MY MOTHER DID
JESUS CHRIST SHE’S IRISH, WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE KNOW?
jjfozz

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And if any of you are interested in how to build a pot of sauce around a cut of pork, listen up;

Get a pork shoulder
Season it with salt, pepper, garlic powder (not salt)
Get a pot, a big one, pour in olive oil, and then dice up garlic and let that simmer
Dump in the pork butt, and some water
Let it cook (you can also hit any person near you with a wooden spoon)
Use the sauce you already made and put that over the pork butt
Let it simmer all day, stir that fucking sauce because I swear to CHRIST IF IT BURNS AND STICKS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POT I WILL BEAT YOU BLACK AND BLUE
WHAT? YOU THINK MONEY GROWS ON TREES? YOU SEE YOUR MOTHER? YOU SEE HER CRYING? THAT’S BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS!

Slam door, pour fourth whisky of the day, drink it, yell at your wife to start crying. Think of your dead mother, start to cry.

Realize the sauce is ready, boil pasta, yell at your kids to get their asses at the dinner table, RIGHT.FUCKING.NOW!

Pray, eat, drink more. Possibly cry.
jjfozz

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AND home.

Long flight, watched maybe 5 movies, but home.
Eldest granddaughter picked us up at LAX.

Something that was cool was we did a US customs clearance at the Dublin Airport
Took a couple of minutes but allowed us to avoid customs at LAX!

Which is worth the price of admission by itself.

Got home. Nothing untoward and everything is unpacked and now me brain is spinnin’ wit the shite that went doon.

Decompressing and I’ll be back with a full report eventually.

Home.
yeah right

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“The NY Jets are like Bruce Springsteen. They’re based in New Jersey, and have spent the last four decades making grown men cry.”

NICE.
BeefReeferLives

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I made friends – well, the dogs did – with the married couple at the table next to me. They’ve now informed me about The Kit Kat Club in Portland.

One stripper comes out wearing only a Darth Vader mask, one has Pennywise make up, one strippers theme is “social awkwardness” – she will walk around the stage, bend over so her asshole is just smiling at ya, then scream between her legs at you.

Soooooooooooo DFO meetup there soon?
ThePirateSloth

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Guys we got a problem.

My brother that lives in New York is giving updates about the game.
He’s been in new york since 2007, I’m worried he’s gonna get caught up in the hype and become a jets fan
Brocky

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Oh so Greg the Leg is fine for the Jets kicker, but call the Texas Governor that and you get removed from the State Capitol
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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Hey good news everybody, I’m the new GOP candidate for Governor of North Carolina. They called me out of the blue and I was like “I’m not Republican and I don’t even live in North Carolina” and they were like “not even a problem, trust us” and I was like, “I hang around on a football and dick-joke website” and they were like “have you ever said you were a ‘Black Nazi’ and demanded more trans porn and said you wished slavery was back?” and I was like ‘WTF? NO!” and they said they’d work something out and not to worry.

Anyway, very excited about this opportunity.
Horatio Cornblower

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Usually when Jets give Patriots a hard time, there’s someone in Riyadh buying Flight Simulator in bulk
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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Stolen from some genius on Bluesky:

OLIVIA NUZZI: I know people will find this relationship wrong, but I can’t help it, Robert, this is what my heart wants!

RFK JR: [burps up entire raccoon skeleton]
SonOfSpam

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Diet Update: Just crossed the 190-pound border after spending three weeks being Diet Plateau’s bitch, but so desperate so something different that I ordered a Subway bowl of their tuna sludge.

Simultaneously a good sign and a cry for help.
Redshirt

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Guys, Gumby got his Cameo from Rocky Bleier today. He really enjoyed it. I would post it here if I could figure out how to do it! Maybe Don T can? But we both really appreciated it! You are all so awesome, I am so grateful I stumbled in here. You are all my favorites, and you can tell anyone you want! Thank you for thinking of us, you will never know how much it helps.
Gumbygirl

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Hangover nap was a great success. May try this stuff called “red wine” that I am hearing so much about.
litre_cola

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A man named Bidet is called a scatback. Wow.
ArmedandHammered

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I didnt follow baseball but all my newsfeeds are full of ohtani news. Can someone explain in Football or basketball terms what this guy is doing?
Spur

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“I CALL THIS BALTIMORE/DALLAS GAME BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BECAUSE IT SHOWS JUST HOW VULNERABLE COWBOYS CAN BE WHEN THEY LET THEIR GUARD DOWN!”
scotchnaut

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Carson Steele sounds like the name of a person nominated for an AVN award
Sharkbait

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Sirianni “This is not sustainable.”

No fucking kidding asshat, you should have been fired last year. You are a fucking cheerleader and a shity one at that!
litre_cola

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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