are you ready for…THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING HARBAUGHS! A Double-Heading NFL Football Open Thread

I’m 10 days early but that scary day is coming fast. Some games yesterday brought it, others didn’t-as always, the NFL is a mixed bag. Let’s take a wee peek at some of the goings-on.

Fallout:

Injuries, injuries, injuries-Deshaun is done with an Achilles, Jay Daniels got hit in the ribs but will probably play, Pharma willing. Xavier Newman was released from the hospital so that’s good. Aiyuk is gone with a torn MCL/ACL double play. McConnell has a fractured thumb. (hey, I had one of those!) Tua’s cerebellum is coming along wonderfully.

What The Hell, Dell?: My favorite Tank (screw off, Bigsby) was held to nothing yesterday. This despite Stroud going to him twice in the end zone early and once along the sideline but nothing connected. Stroud ended up 10-21 which for an accurate passer like him seems like an outlier. I think Nico is the key to this offense no matter what Diggs thinks.

The Jets are 2-5 just like the Giants. New York, New York, it’s a helluva town!

Enjoy the second-best season of Saquon’s career! A balanced offense guarantees that he won’t reach the heights of his rookie season but if he doesn’t get 1800 scrimmage yards I’ll be surprised.

Dave Canales has to be consoled by the fact that there was no locker room to lose. Everyone, including Dave is just treading water this year. He was that trendy guy but when a team is this far into the doldrums, I don’t think he’s got the strong, over-riding personality to pull this team into semi-mediocrity.

Jared Goff, that QB that had to be managed carefully, is averaging 12 yards per pass attempt so far this year. That’s insane and the Lions O is bananas right now.

To The Games!

Ravens/Bucs:

-As of this week Lamar is second in career rushing yards by QB’s.

-Henry has scored in every game this year [jumps into crystal ball] including this one.

-Evans and Godwin are so consistently successful I don’t think they’ll get their proper credit until 10 years down the road. As far as post-2000 pairings they’re right there with Harrison/Wayne, Jimmy Smith/McCardell, Fitz/Boldin and Holt/Bruce.

-What with Bucky Irving and Sean Tucker asserting themselves recently, the Bucs have the most wonderful of problems-three rb’s with a ton of talent.

Chargers/Cards:

-Arizonny has been doing a Jeckyl/Hyde thingy offense-wise-their first two tilts they went for 28+ but in their last three of four they’ve scored 14 or less.

-Them Chargers are the only team in the league to allow 20 or less points in all their games. Harbaugh has one side of the ball figured out and if I’m going to be truthful, he did it way faster than I expected.

-One preview I read was gushing that Herbert threw for a season high of 237 yards! Oh, how the mighty have been knee-capped by the emphasis on the running game!

-Fantasy-wise, has anyone else been sitting on Kimani Vidal? He popped last week but Dobbins has been very stubborn in that he hasn’t been injured just yet.

Hit the keyboard running!

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WCS

Speaking of “noping out” like Qaron when film study begins, just a caller phone in to report it’s actually two raccoons trapped in her second-floor hallway.

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Mr. Ayo

Are they really trapped, or is this caller trapping them by not leaving doors open?

WCS

She says they’re upstairs, and both front and back doors are open. They just don’t want to leave, apparently.

Mr. Ayo

Clarify the difference between house doors and her doors?

Doktor Zymm

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Horatio Cornblower

Tell me the first guy is Patroclus.

Gatoraids

reminded of Kate Beaton

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2Pack

yep…

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Horatio Cornblower

Fuck dude, I’m just trying not to crash my car on the way home from the bar!

2Pack

thoughts and prayers Buddy.

2Pack

Did I miss anything?
Friggen hamstring is pissing me off. I’m running like Fred Sanford. That’s what I get for doing ALL of the heavy lifting at BIL’s basement clean up last week.

Gatoraids

Convinced my league to award 5 pts for kicks over 50, a good week for the ole Dicker

Col. Duke LaCross

In my booze league we changed it to overall FG yardage. Captain Bluebunny opts for a 21-yard surrender FG? That’s only worth 2.1 points.

Doktor Zymm

Oh well, at least some dipshit got owned by a lake on twitter

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Last edited 30 days ago by Doktor Zymm
Gatoraids

Most ownage by Lake Superior since Edmund Fitzgerald
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuzTkGyxkYI

Horatio Cornblower

The skies of November are about to turn gloomy…

Horatio Cornblower

That happens a lot to Fitton. One of the dumbest human beings out there.

WCS

I genuinely don’t think I’m aware of who this is.

Apparently, that’s a good thing?

Doktor Zymm

I know him only from stuff like this, no idea who he is otherwise

Horatio Cornblower

He’s some dipshit right-winger who, as Zymm points out, is primarily known for walking head first into insults like this.

Kind of a mystery what, if any, other purpose he might have in life.

Gumbygirl

He gets roasted on Reddit’s white people twitter thread all the time. Him and some douchecanoe named Joey Mannarino. And another prize who calls himself Catturd.

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Game, Buzzsaw

Horatio Cornblower

Not enough for me. Congratulations to Duke’s Waffles, who continue their trend toward promotion to the tWBS Memorial League.

Which, I’m confused, is that the same as the Freezer Vodka League?

Doktor Zymm

Yup!

Col. Duke LaCross

Good game amigo!

Brocky

So I’m the second lowest scoring team in my money league this week.

So naturally I’m facing the lowest scoring team. Lucky me

Brocky

I was able to take a picture of the octobox featuring Peyton

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Octomom’s box :echos:

Sharkbait

I purposely did this one in my control room: ALL THE PIERRE MCGUIRES!!comment image

Brick Meathook

Your control room?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Didn’t you know that Sharky is Christian Gray?

Sharkbait

Back in my broadcasting days. He was a recurring guest for TSN. I also had Mike Milbury frequent my studio

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck that guy. Couldn’t coach his way through a season of Pee Wee, and by God did he prove that in Hartford.

Mr. Ayo

Xbox Jr. is going to do this!

Sharkbait

The Manningcast needs more Scott Hanson

Mr. Ayo

Not sure they can afford the nose candy bill

Bogdanski

These motherfuckers make us watch the shitty Clippers every Sunday in San Diego but when they’re on alt-ESPN Monday night it’s totally unavailable. What the fuck? Am I supposed to talk to my family? Fuck you tv people!

Doktor Zymm

I think I’ve officially lost both of my fantasy matchups, unless the Chargers D collapses and allows a couple more TDs

Horatio Cornblower

I would very much like that to happen for you, and if those IDs could be Murray to Harrison TDs, well, so much the better.

Col. Duke LaCross

That would suck!

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Sharkbait

This. Praise be to GAMBLOR

Horatio Cornblower

OK, now that Lamar can’t legally throw any more TDs I just need a quick TD from Wee QB Kyler to Marvin “I’m #3 With A Bullet, Just Ask My Dad If You’ve Got The Balls” Harrison, Jr., (OK, we’ll workshop that nickname), and I’m right back in this thing.

Last edited 30 days ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Oh, and I also benched Amari Cooper for Whittington, costing myself 14 points, and I’m about to lose by 12, so this is entirely on me.

Doktor Zymm

I wish someone had told me that Whittington is a bum, but why did you bench Cooper? I started Whittington cuz my good receivers all got dedded

Horatio Cornblower

I was concerned that his being traded to Buffalo just this past week would lead to a limited role, and that with all of LA’s injuries Whittington would be the netter play. Many of my WRs are also very much dead, including Kupp.

Anyway, I was very, very wrong, as is tradition with nearly all of my FF decisions.

Doktor Zymm

That’s reasonable logic, except we already know Cooper can come in midseason and get up to speed quickly because he’s done it before when he was traded to the Cowboys in 2018

Horatio Cornblower

That’s like 72 years ago in NFL-player age!

Sharkbait

Subscribe to the Harrison targets. As long as he gets one catch, then the TD

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So now what? Peyton shits out the chicken Parm and they do the rest of the other game? I ain’t got time for that.

Gumbygirl

Oh my God, I won by half a point! I was up by 41 before this game, but BC Dick had Tractorcito, that fucking tight end from Tampa, and their kicker.

BC Dick

Couldn’t have done one more little toss to Otton. That swine.

Col. Duke LaCross

Gumbygirl holds on by half a point!

Gumbygirl

That was the worst couple of minutes I’ve had in a very long time. I scared the shit out of my cat with all the yelling and cussing. Sorry Henry!

Doktor Zymm

Wait, is your cat named Henry? He must have been so confused about why you didn’t want him to score!

Gumbygirl

He is Handsome Henry!