Substitute Week 12 Early Window NFL Thread

Good morning, reprobates.  Scotchy had some fresh hobos to skinfamily bidness to take care of, so y’all stuck with me.  You get paroled for SNF, when Litre takes over.  To the action!

Vikings (-3.5) at Bearistocrats (Fox)

Touch of Downs continues to show signs of hard regression to the paste-eater we all know and mostly tolerate.  Will he go full-you-know-what against the surprisingly competent Chi**** pass defense?  Will the home crew score enough points for it to matter?

Lions (-7.5) at Fat Humps (Fox)

I wanted to try and sell this as a potential banana skin, but couldn’t keep a straight face.  Runaway NFC freight train continues unabated to the Lombardi.

P*ts (+7.5) at LOLfins (CBS)

Finally, a home favoUrite, and Tua seems to be getting a bit of his mojo back.  Though let’s not make him think too hard about that stuff.  Drake Maye has been doing his best “Bad Josh Allen” impression, which is still a whole lot better than the Massholes faithful have been used to seeing under centre.  Sleeper good matchup.

Bucs (-6) at Vertically Enhanced Persons (CBS)

OK, fine.  I can’t think of anything nice to stay here.  Good news, Jerseyites!  You are free of the Dimebag boogeyman.  The bad news is…everything else.  MRSA Men have a very soft defense to welcome Dr. Mantiss Toboggan back to the active roster.

Non-Gendered Cowpersons (+10.5) at Commies (Fox)

No seriously, this is a game that will actually happen.  Just be thankful it wasn’t cemented into the SNF window or sommet.  Cooper Rush is gonna have a bad time.  Dok Zymm will have quite the opposite.

Chefs (-10.5) at Black Panthers (CBS)

Ah, the universe snaps back into balance, with a 10.5-point road dog to balance out the Commies rawdogging of the ‘Persons.  Let’s just hope Wee Bryce doesn’t die, and that KHunt gets me lots of evil fantasy points.  Spoiler – the first part is far likelier than the second.  Pacheco Truthers have to wait another week to see if his leg falls plum off.

Tits (+7.5) at 500s (CBS)

Classic Surly Duff matchup here, and I have low scoring vibes.  Sooner or later, Tennessee will successfully keep its opponent down in the muck for 60 minutes.  Or dare we hope 70, and Most Glorious Draw?

5 2 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
22 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
scotchnaut

Many, many thanks to Hippo and Litre for filling in on short notice.

Horatio Cornblower

If I played for Southhampton I simply would not use my hands to knock down a ball whilst in the penalty box.

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like Past-Litre dodged a few bullets…

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1860707279743442982

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With apologies to the Right Reverend, this slayed me:

That’s why you’ve got to admire what the Pegulas are doing Jessie Pegula has become one of the best tennis players in the world. But she’s never won a major — before September, she was 0-6 in major quarterfinals. There’s nothing she can possibly do on this world to better prepare herself for eventual ownership of the Bills. 

2Pack

Ciao Hippo. Napoli plays Roma here in a bit. They need to win if they want to maintain the slim one point lead they have atop this years crowded table.
/ his weekly excuse to post a Marika pic

C_29_fotogallery_1010600__ImageGallery__imageGalleryItem_48_image.jpg
Brick Meathook

Another impressive rack. From now on I’m going to call you “General.”

Image 107.jpeg
Brick Meathook

My modest bosom:

IMG_0284.jpeg
scotchnaut

Her rack is positively Zhukovian!

Doktor Zymm

For your Thanksgiving planning

FB_IMG_1732453867027.jpg
Brick Meathook

It’s true, that happened to me.

2Pack

OK covers turkey… but what about
buffalo?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Still sucks to live there

Mr. Ayo

Most of Yellowstone Park is in Wyoming. Since Wyoming doesn’t exist, then Yellowstone Park cannot exist. Ergo, these rules are moot.

Redshirt

2024 College Football Bowl Predictions – NCAA Bowl Game Projections – CBSSports.com

Proposal that Extra Bowl is Mandatory under threat of DFO Account Deactivation.

Brick Meathook

I’m up early on the West Coast.

I don’t know why. I’m going back to sleep.

Thank you for listening. God Bless.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz………..

Don T

If I make it outdoors today, I may just put a stoooopid bet on TEN. In the meantime, Imma rewatch The Master. PRA makes the USA A O K.

Don T

p T a. I swear the iphone keaboard is smaller than Androids 🤬

yeah right

Love that movie. Completely misunderstood.
Plus it’s fucking gorgeous.

Doktor Zymm

I’m up early and in Chicago. Contemplating trying to go to the game, but also contemplating wrapping myself in fuzzy blankets and drinking mimosas while watching Red Zone. Oh, or I could find a cowperson’s bar and go point and laugh! Although at this point in the season they’ve had the cowfolk still showing up at a team bar are probably worthy of respect so I would do so in a friendly way.

blaxabbath

Should a bowl-ineligible Alabama team be seeded 7th in the CFB Playoff??!!

Redshirt

Obviously a so-called National Champion would be illegitimate until they played Alabama in Tuscaloosa.

IMG_0515.jpeg