Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between John Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the thirty-first edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open  attempt at an advice column.

• We live in ridiculous times. Leaving aside the dumpster fire that is the American political system, I present to you: mailbox lasagna.
• And not only that’s….existence but the fact this story is OVER TWO YEARS OLD but thanks to the power/inanity of social media (combined with oppressive and existentially threatening extreme heat) it has come back to make the rounds again. 
• Yes I get that’s a summer story, but per my very much not on time Bears preview post from last week, I started a lot of drafting and fell flat on my face. 
• Thanks to you all, I now get Blair Witch content pushed my way by the Almighty algorithm.
• Which Don’t Tread on Me satirical take on MAGA is your favorite? Please Tread on Me, Don’t Read to Me, or Don’t Call Me Weird?
• This one was new to me but feels very apt. 
• If one eats chicken soup dumplings, do you get the same health benefits as eating chicken soup when you’re sick?
• While we’re on a food kick,Restaurants that bring an odd number of pieces of bread in the bread basket for two people need to be fined.
• While we’re on a food kick, there’s a conveyor belt sushi place in DC I’ve now been to twice, and while it’s not as good as the one on sawtelle, it’s pretty solid. I just have two questions (for now):
• If most of the staff is Latino rather than Japanese, is it weird to say arrogato when they bring items that aren’t on the conveyor belt?
• Would it be weirder to say gracias?
• What the fuck is this and why? 

• I know the answer now after digging into it with an employee at the restaurant, but I want you all to guess what that is.
• I guess I have one more question, but it’s for myself rather than the restaurant: why the fuck did I go get DC sushi less than a week before flying to Japan?
• My ass hurts. The meat, not the hole. And it’s been persisting for a long time. Anyone have good sports medicine advice (other than a sensual massage from balls)?
• With Thanksgiving and Head Coach Matt Eberflus both in the rear view mirror, what’s next for the Chicago Bears? More Bearsenscheisse? Unexpected cromulence rather than continued crapulence? I would wager Hippo is probably betting on the outcome….
• This is a choice for a headline on the Flus firing….
• Well, I’m on a plane now, so eff it, let’s wrap it up with another fill in the blank: “The only way things could get worse for the Chicago Bears is ___________________.”