Slumbo Wednesday With Not Weaselo – Substitutes Are The Worst (Except For That Who Song)

Sadly, the usual Wednesday night auteur, Senor Weaselo The Stringplucker, had an emergecy pizzicato party to attend, so you’re stuck with the non-union equivalent. Fear not! I shall endeavor to guide us through this Humpiest of Days with a menagerie of mindfarts and wordvomit that should sate even the most greedy of content consumers.

Or I’ll just type at random and hope the infinite number of monkeys thing is accurate.

Don’t have any violin stories or New York City restaurant experiences, so let’s talk about something that’s relevant to our little corner of the world. MALIBU IS ON FIRE.

No, Courtney Love didn’t set it (probably), but it was exacerbated (heh “bated”) by a phenomenon called The Santa Ana Winds. Normally, the prevailing wind here in Southern California comes from the ocean (the big blue thing to our left), and blows (again, heh) inland, cooling off coastal areas and inflating real estate prices. But every so often we get a wacky high pressure dome over the inland deserts, and the wind rushes in from that direction. The winds blow through the Santa Ana mountains (thus the name!) and pick up speed due to this tunnel effect. Since the winds start from the desert, they are bone-dry and dehumidify the entire Southland. As a result, the tiniest spark will set off a thousands-of-acres fire in no time flat. Much of the time these fires are started by stupid and/or evil people, because people are just the worst.

So anyway, we’ve had the Santa Ana Wind conditions here for a couple of days, and of course there’s a massive fire as a result. Of note, Dick Van Dyke had to evacuate his house, which sucks because he’s a national treasure and like 243 years old. Also, other rich people are losing their houses, which in theory also sucks. The good thing about this weather condition is we can see a lot more stars (astronomically, not Hollywoodly) than usual. But mostly, the state just burns like untreated gonorrhea pee.

And now, sports.

Bill Belichick is taking his disturbingly young girlfriend to Chapel Hill to coach the Tar Heels football squadron. Why? I guess so he can scout future girlfriends? Can’t wait for the overhyped UNC broadcasts next season.

Some Ohio state lawmaker is submitting a bill that would make planting a flag on the Ohio State 50 year line a felony. Every time I think “How the hell could people be stupid enough to vote for Trump?” there’s some story like this that instead makes me think “How did Trump not win by more?” I swear, countries like France or Portugal or New Zealand or Botswana look more attractive all the time.

Juventus beat Manchester City today in Champions League action. ABBONDANZA I GOT SOME-A MARINARA ON MY FANCIEST JORTS-A. That’s the second time in a week some Italian has been effective at shooting.

What’s on tonight?

You can watch the Rangers play Buffalo at hockey, which is on TNT at 7 Eastern. At the same time on ESPN, the Knicks are hosting the Hawks in hoopsball. Later on TNT, more hoopsball as Golden State travels to Houston.  ESPN2 has Colgate at Kentucky, but that seems like a waste of toothpaste.

Byesies for now!

 

 

 

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SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam is a mediocre ship captain and an even worse writer. He is allowed to contribute to this website in exchange for money and drugs. Please don't encourage him or make direct eye contact.
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BeefReeferLives

I, as a rule, hate Fancy Dog. But his impression of Bill was hilarious.

(sorry if a repost)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HO__Sqb7qM

Gatoraids

closest belichick imitation was him kissing his kids 30 years younger than him on the lips.

Sharkbait

Played hockey for the first time in almost a month. Got a win only allowing 3 goals. We put up 12 because the other team didnt have a goalie and stuck a regular player in net. It didn’t go well…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Based on my understanding of hockey that means the other team is now pregnant?

WCS

That’s exactly how it works, yes.

blaxabbath

Look, the details of the “murder” aside, I think Luigi Mangioni should walk free because he grew up rich.

There’s plenty of prescident.

Brick Meathook

Hasn’t he suffered enough already?

Doktor Zymm

Afflumurdenza, totally not responsible

Brick Meathook

“Wasabi, Soy Sauce, and Ginger: A CaseStudy in Contrasts, No. 41” (2024)
Meathook, B. (American)
Dye transfer print from Portra 400 color negative (a.k.a. IPhone 15)

https://ibb.co/x81nJzw

Sharkbait

Now I want sushi

Brick Meathook

I flew back east to see my mom early this morning, leaving at 5:30 AM. LAX to Detroit; 2 hour layover; Detroit to Baltimore; train from BWI to Washington Union Station; Metro to Arlington; Uber to home. It was freakin’ exhausting and I love to fly.

Here’s the sunrise as seen shortly after takeoff from LAX as the plane circled back to head east. The coastline is Dana Point in Orange County.

https://ibb.co/cKBwpKR

Brick Meathook

Later, it looked like this out the window:

https://ibb.co/smytrbN

BeefReeferLives

Wow. That’s some Eye of Sauron shit right there…

Brick Meathook

The view out the window on final approach over Baltimore. Look close and you can see Fozz’s house:

https://ibb.co/dPLjNkP

Brick Meathook

Inside a MARC train on the Penn line, BWI to WAS:

https://ibb.co/d0bDntq

Brick Meathook

Union Station, Washington:

https://ibb.co/zrwq58g

2Pack

Those train cars are just like the local ones here except the seats are much more plush. We sit on hard plastic as is the way of our people.

2Pack

The fast trains are plush. They figure for a local trip (or cheap skate ticket) suck it up buttercup.

blaxabbath

I never seen such a clean plane window.

Brick Meathook

The window was actually heavily scratched and dirty, and it was driving me nuts. My iPhone kept locking focus on the dirt. All these star patterns are from the window, not some crazy filter:

https://ibb.co/h1mv00f

BeefReeferLives

Damn, Brick. That’s quite the trip you made. Did you happen to fall in with a affable yet slightly annoying shower curtain ring salesman?

WCS

By the way, has anyone checked the Castle of Pillatude for a welfare check on Hippo now that he has to deal with Bill Belichick again?

Gumbygirl

I wonder if the Amazing Kreskin saw it coming?

BeefReeferLives

He might have seen a whole lotta shit coming.

The last of his wiki page:

“Using suggestion, I could never make someone do something he didn’t want to do. But it’s different in a crowd,” says Kreskin. “Psychologists don’t know why, but somehow the level of morality is lowered and responsibility is lost.”

WCS

Miss Cleo obviously didn’t.

WCS

Congrats on your latest lap around Sol, Rikki. Class of ’93?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

’94. I was granted an extra year of childhood.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I went swimming today and on my way out, a cute lifeguard held the door open for me. “For me?” I said, “this is the best birthday ever!” She wished me a happy birthday and I was on my way. A perfectly pleasant interaction. But I can’t help feeling like I dishonored tWBS’ memory somewhat because I bet he would have thought to say something more suave like “the best-looking lifeguard on staff holding the door open for me? This really *is* the best birthday ever” and gotten her phone number and would be getting mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by this point in the evening.

Gumbygirl

Happiest Birthday 7² from your favorite 8²! I ordered the spectacular sunset tonight just for you

ballsofsteelandfury

Sunrise this morning was pretty spectacular too!

Gumbygirl

I wouldn’t know, I hadn’t risen from my grave yet.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Dr. Mrs. Esquire is going to vacuum that thought right out of your brain.

BeefReeferLives

Oh, I don’t think you are that foolhardy, RTD. There is precedent…

https://www.wistv.com/story/4558022/woman-charged-with-killing-husband-with-vacuum-cleaner/

2Pack

Marika says well done… Auguri!

IMG_20241212_043214.jpg
2Pack

I have been concentrating on capturing her many different moods to add value to my meager remarks.

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re doing a wonderful job!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rikki had fighting words for me earlier. I’m gonna drop him like the fruit he steals from his neighbors’ trees.

Last edited 2 hours ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

But I’ll wait til it isn’t his birthday. Because I’m awesome, remember?

BeefReeferLives

How could we forget?

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BeefReeferLives

Yeah, that was kinda harsh…

but funny.

LemonJello

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blaxabbath

In all the chaos and brazen tampering that is the modern NCAA football environment, I trust Bill Belichik will find himself the ordained King of Cillege Football Cheating by the time Army-Navy meet/kiss this time next year.

That man is a professional in his craft.

BeefReeferLives

He can cheat with the best of ’em.

BeefReeferLives

Bill was not speaking figuratively…

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scotchnaut

“I CALL MANCHESTER CITY ‘ADRIAN PETERSON’S KID’ BECAUSE THEY GET BEATEN ALMOST EVERY OTHER DAY!”

ballsofsteelandfury

More power to Bellichick. Here’s my take on what he’s about to do at UNC:

comment image

scotchnaut

I think The Who calling themselves The Bad Haircuts would not have impacted their future success one bit.

Brick Meathook

Pete Townsend (to his stylist): “Give me a haircut that is both Mod and also accentuates my naturally good looks.”

Unsurprised

I just wanted to highlight this comment that may have been missed overnight.

https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/12/10/down-the-stretch-they-come-tuesday-open-thread/#comment-1192338