Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The darkness always lies [in bed].
Anthony Liccione

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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This is exactly what I needed right now- what we all need. Thank you , Armedand Hammered! Your buns are beeyoutiful! I didn’t know they need to have their haircut, I bet that’s fun. And squirmy.

It’s hard when our furbabies get old. My Henry is 17- I keep telling him he needs to stay a kitten forever, but I’m starting to see the inevitable slowdown. Not decline, not yet, but he’s not the cat he used to be. I think part of it is he’s missing Gumby, but he sleeps more now, and he’s clingy much more than he used to be. My brain shies away from the thought of him going. I just try to enjoy every minute I have with him.
Gumbygirl

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Mrs Sharkbait looking at her inbox

Her: Did you order something recently? I’m expecting fabric swatches but the only package we have coming is from California

Me: Oh that’s probably a butt keychain.

Her: What. The. Fuck
Sharkbait

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Two of my project award submissions are being recognized at our industry convention this spring (one with first place, one with second in its category). Naturally, the third was the one my team most wanted to win (I knew it wouldn’t, by the historic nature of that category — one of those reminders that we’re still just a little regional family-owned guy in a sea of The United States Steel Industry).

I’m most pleased that the winning submission was, I thought, the worst one. But, to my team, it is their #2 project so I’m glad they’ll get that to hang in their office. And I hid a couple Easter eggs in the photos and text of the writeup for my brother. He’ll catch the ones in the images pretty fast. He may never ever read halfway through the 1,200 word write-up to get to the one I dropped in the project details text.

The submission that is getting a second place (that I was so sure won it’s category) doesn’t really matter to anyone on our team (it’s just pretty much mine, as no one else still around worked on it) and I just wanted it to get recognized as kinda a [funny] dig at a guy. So it’ll still take place on the stage and, thus, accomplishes the joke.

So, as a matter of priorities, things are working out as best they kinda could on that.

Plus I found a state project awards I am going to submit the third (losing) project. Don’t think it’ll win their either (if our specialty industry judges didn’t appreciate it — and they don’t need to — then general industry won’t appreciate the “art” side of it) but I’m really trying to collect buy-in right now and if these guys who have said for decades they don’t fucking need praise and those awards are bullshit between bullshitters and they’re just fine being professionals silently want me to go try and tell their story (in the appropriate place), then I’m more than happy to get another reuse out of those stupid writeups (theyre not stupid, i put time and care into them. The awards is stupid. Dont make me win the Special Olympics.) Other than taking the award submissions and getting them spiral bound and issuing them with a clear plastic cover, I’m or about out of ROI on this IP.*

So that was a good thing to accomplish. Kind of feel like I’m about 300m out and just kinda collecting everything for the impending pain.

*So I need some of my tax money back kthx.
blaxabbath

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My niece is covering the State of the Union shitshow. She just interviewed MTG. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have time to go home and bathe in bleach. Katie has Cooties.
Gumbygirl

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Israel and Palestine continue their Forever War, Russia is measuring the curtains for Kiev and the unmarked grave for Zelenskyy, and the United States has gone back to the 1810s by declaring blood vengeance on her Eternal Arc Villain, Canada.

Props to you, 2025. Only two months in and you are bringing it!
Redshirt

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Pretty big week in the comments for yours truly. Think I’ll hit the showers, blow off my conference calls, and take a nap.

Just kidding.

About the shower.
Horatio Cornblower

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Thanks GTD, nice roundup as usual.

I’ve got to go after work to look at the 3rd flooring and tile options place. After the past months other sub contractors meetings, 3 door and window place options, and being asked countless times for an opinion on something that I really don’t have an opinion on (younger is living there not me). Wifey’s other property reno is really making me want to give back shit I didn’t even steal.

Pray for 2pack.
2Pack

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Me: “How’s Trump’s speech.”
Dadshirt: “Terrible.”
Me: “Yeah, I’m sure it sounds better in the original German.”
Redshirt

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Me: (getting a good night’s sleep, waking up relatively early and ready to have a productive morning at work)

My Computer Keyboard: “The p, o, i, and u buttons don’t work, and also fck y.”
Horatio Cornblower

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I am having a sucky day. I thought yesterday was the worst, with the scalpel to the tit, but noooooo! I called DFAS to find out why I haven’t gotten any money from Gumby’s retirement. I’m supposed to get 55% of his check monthly. I called twice before,once to find out what I needed to do, and then to see if the forms were filled out correctly before I faxed them. Both people told me everything was done. I checked to see today, because it was well over the time they told me it would take, only to be told there are three more forms I needed to fill out, that both of those two other people should have told me about. In her defense, the lady I spoke to today was pissed, and she is going to speak to their supervisors, but now the clock starts again when they finally get these other “mystery” forms. 30-45 days minimum before I see the money, if it all goes well. What the actual fuck! I will get back pay to when he died, but it’s disgraceful that they have employees who don’t know what they’re talking about giving bad information.The forms are confusing as fuck, because of course they are, gubmint. I’m reasonably computer literate, but what about the poor older widows who aren’t, or the ones that don’t speak great English? It would be an absolute nightmare for them. Disgraceful.
Gumbygirl

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I swear I’m alive because I dance.
DJ TAJ

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Also the videos of the SpaceX Starship explosion are wild!
Apparently airplanes trying to land in airports in Florida are having to watch out for falling debris…

Yikes!
rockingdog

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My brother had a scary gallstone/infection episode last year, but after getting the gallbladder removed, he says he feels better than he can remember (family has genetics for shitty digestive system). His theory (he has engineering degree like me, but he’s not an apostate) is that we siblings should all get ours removed.

Does anybody know if they’ll remove your gallbladder just because you ask them to (after a visit and explaining symptoms and family history)? Because I don’t want to dick about with a bunch of expensive, inconclusive testing.
King Hippo

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Got a very cool thing tomorrow.

New live action theater event place near SOFI stadium and youtube theater and that big entertainment dealie.

Cinevita. Live with real actors and musicians and the show is called Tarantino.

Music and scenes from the movies all live.

The whole place is cashless.
Smart parking entrance that reads your license plate. Parking is prepaid.

Bar code menu on the tables thus eliminating waitresses and waiters you just bar code what you want on your phone and it’s brought to your table.

I’m wearing black coat, black pants, skinny black tie and a white shirt.

Gotta get into character.
yeah right

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Welp, least-favorite call ever (up till now)?

74-year-old female vomiting poop. Yes, you read that correctly.
WCS

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So the last two times the Seahawks have traded away their starting QB, they have done it the same day as I receive my season ticket renewal. Coincidence? I think not!

/puts on foil hat

Aaron Rodgers will be the next Seahawks QB, in this essay I will…
ThePirateSloth

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Jackie and Shadow welcome eagle baby #3!
Gumbygirl

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Last funny:

🎾

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What do Drake the rapper and Drake the basketball team have in common? They’re both hoping to get to the Sweet Sixteen.
scotchnaut

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Wow. Drake is 29-3 and getting no love whatsoever. (not in the top 25)
scotchnaut

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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